Jumping Ship from the Lily's Pad

[oneandthetruth.livejournal.com]

On Saturday night I was catching up on reading DTCL and came across a post from terri_testing about why so few people claim James and Lily as friends. (posted 8/6/12, in reply to “Lupin’s ‘Resignation’,” by danajsparks) Part of it reads: 

What did happen to those witch friends Lily had in fifth year, the ones who couldn't understand why she even talked to Severus, the ones she sat and chatted with after the DADA OWL? Did their jealousy over the Mudblood scooping the Head Girl position (and the most eligible Pureblood bachelor) separate them? Were they naturally driven apart by diverging life paths caused by Lily's extremely early settling into marriage and motherhood while her friends all pursued careers....? 

Or there's always the solution I proposed in my abusive!James fic "Liberacorpus," that James had taken the precaution of sleeping his way through all of Lily's friends, so as to alienate them from her.... 

This got me to thinking: Maybe Lily’s friends were alienated, not by her good fortune or by James, but by Lily herself. I see two possibilities, both of which reflect badly on her and which are not mutually exclusive:

1) It’s certainly possible Lily’s friends were jealous because she got to be Head Girl and caught Big Wizard on Campus James. But under normal circumstances, friends get over such things. 

At least, they would have unless Lily rubbed their faces in her triumphs. If she bragged about how lucky she was, or how her success was proof of her greatness, particularly since she was a latecomer to the wizarding world, that would alienate anyone who wasn’t a complete doormat.

Of course, there is no proof Lily did that. But this kind of behavior accords with the assertion some people, most notably marionros, have made about Lily’s being a narcissist. Narcissists love to brag about themselves anyway (think Dumbledore in King’s Cross), and a triumphant narcissist would be worse than normal.

Such boasting is also compatible with the behaviors we see from Lily that indicate she had a poor character. For example, she was somewhat contemptuous and superior towards Severus, such as when she ordered him around, dismissed his feelings and concerns, or automatically took other people’s versions of events over his. 

She also exhibited a sadistic streak by using her magic to scare and torment Petunia. This is the moral equivalent of having your friends hold somebody while you punch them, or shoving over someone in a wheelchair, then laughing when they can’t get up.

No wonder she walked off and left her “best friend” to be attacked. She was doing the same thing outside of school herself, and to her own sister, who could not fight back. Which brings me to my next point. 

2) The other possibility for why Lily’s friendships ended may impart to her schoolmates a level of perspicacity they didn’t possess, but it’s an interesting idea anyway.

Lily may have bragged to or joked with her friends about using her magic to torment Petunia. I would never want to be friends with a person who was debased enough to attack her own family for entertainment.  

Regarding Severus, while Lily’s friends were no doubt happy to see her dump the greasy Slytherin, they may not have liked the way she did it. Initially, they just would have been happy he was gone, but over time, they may have become uncomfortable with her actions.

This was a boy Lily had known for six years, since she was nine. Her friends may have known she’d told Severus they were “best friends.” She had refused to break off their friendship for years, despite pressure from her House to dump him.

Then one day, he slipped up and insulted her while under extreme stress. And that was it. She literally turned her back on him and left him while he was helpless, to be assaulted by a ruthless gang of thugs. 

Severus didn’t just apologize for insulting her. He actually groveled to her, begging her forgiveness, risking his safety in the process. (Every time I think about this scene, I hear the Temptations singing, “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg.”) Yet she refused to even accept his apology, let alone have anything to do with him again.

If Lily was a prefect, her behavior was even worse. Regardless of her feelings for the victim, it was her duty to protect someone from being assaulted, especially by a group of attackers. She failed to do the job she’d been chosen for, to live up the obligation she’d accepted. This makes her nothing but a prettier, spunkier version of Remus the Spineless because they both allowed their personal feelings to prevent them from doing their duty.

I can’t help comparing Lily and Remus as prefects with the black American soldiers who served in World War II. These men fought and died for their country, even though they had been the victims of vicious racism at home and knew they would be again once the war was over. They realized many of the people they were fighting for were disgusting bigots who didn’t consider them fully human. They usually weren’t even allowed to serve in the same units as white soldiers. Many of them were only a few years older than Lily and Remus. Yet despite all that, they put their sense of duty ahead of their personal feelings and risked their lives for all Americans, regardless of how loathsome many individuals were. That is why they are now considered groundbreaking heroes. 

Imagine having Lily as a comrade in the Order. You will go into battle with her and trust her with your life. You’ll expect her to have your back, no matter what. 

What if you say or do something wrong while under pressure? How do you know that, when you need her the most, she won’t turn her back on you, too, and leave you at the mercy of your enemies? If she could do that to someone she’d been friends with almost half her life, why wouldn’t she do it to you as well?

Would you trust someone like that in battle?

I wouldn’t. 

  

Comments

[charlottehywd.livejournal.com]

I think that the thing about Romney that bothers me is not that he did those things, but that he refuses to feel remorse for doing so, or even remember what he did. I was a bully sometimes when I was growing up (in the hopes that it would deflect some of the bullying I myself got), but I remember it vividly and am incredibly embarrassed by how cruel I could be. How one could forget doing the kinds of things that Romney's classmates remembered him doing is beyond me.

(Generally I try not to get into politics, but I felt like I ought to give my two cents)

[majorjune.livejournal.com]

(Generally I try not to get into politics, but I felt like I ought to give my two cents)

The thread started because a simularity was noted between James Potter and Romney -- two young men of priviledge who were really bullies.

I agree with you that what is worst with Romney is not that he did crappy things when he was a teenager -- I think it would be the rare person who did NOT do something at that age that they rather they hadn't when they reflect back as an adult.

The thing about the hair-cutting incident and the tricking of the blind teacher incident is that almost ALL of the other boys who were involved not only remember both incidents, but have sincere regret over it. It's only Romney who claims forgetfulness and passes the incidents off as meaningless. I'd have more respect for him if he'd owned up to it, said something to the effect of "Yes, I did those things, they were incredibly stupid and I sincerely regret having done them."

But it wasn't just when he was a teenager -- another report's been circulating that when he was in college he liked dressing up as a state trooper and stopping cars and pretended to be a real cop and threatened the drivers with imprisonment, etc.

Another case of bullying which current Romney doesn't remember.

Bringing this back to canon, Rowling tells us that James Potter mysteriously "changed" by his final year in Hogwarts, but never tells us the exact nature of this alleged change nor what prompted it -- only that the change was enough that Lily now became romantically interested in him.

But adult Sirius doesn't show any regret regarding his schoolboy bullying, so one has to wonder if James Potter had survived, he as an adult would have regretted bullying Snape. Something tells me that whatever change there was in Potter's psyche, it did NOT extend to regretting anything he did as a boy.

[charlottehywd.livejournal.com]

But it wasn't just when he was a teenager -- another report's been circulating that when he was in college he liked dressing up as a state trooper and stopping cars and pretended to be a real cop and threatened the drivers with imprisonment, etc.

Isn't this illegal? I guess he must have gotten off easily because he was related to the right people.

Bringing this back to canon, Rowling tells us that James Potter mysteriously "changed" by his final year in Hogwarts, but never tells us the exact nature of this alleged change nor what prompted it -- only that the change was enough that Lily now became romantically interested in him.

I find it weird that such an important piece of character development was left out. Or maybe JKR just didn't want to admit that Lily liked bullies?

[hwyla.livejournal.com]

Well, there are two considerations here.

1) That Lily IS attracted to bullies. After all, her sister Petunia also married a bully. It is entirely possible that SOMETHING in their family dynamics suggested to both girls that you were safer married to a bully.

2) That Lily was flat-out tricked into believing James had changed. I think half of the reason she was concentrating on James in SWM (and not Sirius or the others) was because she had previously thought he HAD changed once she learned he had 'rescued' Snape and was thoroughly disappointed to find out that he had not.

Okay - 3rd possibility - she was enamored of the idea that SHE could get James to 'change' for her

[charlottehywd.livejournal.com]

Okay - 3rd possibility - she was enamored of the idea that SHE could get James to 'change' for her

Isn't that something that comes up in romance stories a lot? (not that I would know, as that's not a genre I read)

Also, it could be that she is also kind of a bully and that like attracts like.