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deathtocapslock* Sorry for the enormous delay: RL has been completely insane over the last couple of months. If I ever write a set of sporkings again, I’ll make sure to write them all up before I start posting them.
* “As Hermione had predicted,” she was right and Ron was wrong and stupid. Quelle surprise.
* I’m still not sure what’s supposed to be so difficult about the Hogwarts curriculum. From what we see, it’s all just a matter of waving your wand the right way (at least in PS, I don’t think it’s really mentioned in later books) and saying particular words. I could imagine it being difficult remembering lots and lots of spells, but from what we see, the students at Hogwarts only use a small number. So where’s all the difficulty coming from?
* Luckily, though, Harry’s doing OK in Potions, thanks to his handy book o’ cheats.
* Ron claims to hate CMC and says he hasn’t forgotten about the Skrewts. If Malfoy said such a thing, we’d be told how he’s whiny and snobbish and ought to get over it, but IOIAGDI, I suppose.
* “Hermione spared [Ron] one look of disdain before turning back to Harry” pretty much sums up her relationships within the trio. It’s no wonder Ron’s so insecure and keeps worrying that she really fancies Harry.
* Ron’s so adorably pathetic here, the way he’s obviously feeling inferior to Harry and being ignored by his so-called friends. *hugs Ron*
* Harry’s grown a whole foot over the six weeks or so of summer holidays? Really? Come on, Rowling, I know people sometimes get growth spurts, but this is just ridiculous.
* Also, if Harry’s grown so much, how come he hasn’t needed to replace all his clothes?
* Oh, and BTW, people, don’t think that Harry’s new-found hotness makes him any less of an underdog. Although TBH if you still thought of him as an underdog after five books of rules being bent in his favour, a little added attractiveness probably isn’t going to change your mind.
* Not that Harry will notice, he’s far too lowly-sexed to care about women. It’s a pity it wasn’t Ron who became really desirable, at least he seems like he’d actually appreciate it.
* “Stan Shunpike, a Death Eater?... No way!” Wow, I wish I had clairvoyant powers like Harry’s. I couldn’t tell that somebody wasn’t a criminal based on a single conversation three years ago. I guess this is just one more sign of Harry’s undoubted superiority.
* Wait, what are first-years doing at the Quidditch try-outs? Last we heard, only second-years and above were allowed to play on the House teams. Oh dear, continuity.
* Harry’s so popular now that even members of other Houses are coming to the try-outs just to be near him. Ginny, meanwhile, has “outflown all the competition and scored seventeen goals to boot”. I can’t decide who’s the most obnoxiously Sue-ish of the pair.
* A lump the size of an egg on your head sounds pretty dangerous. Guys, are you sure it’s a good idea to send small cannonballs flying at people’s heads?
* Harry hoped that winning the game last year would have cured Ron’s nerves and allowed him some character development, but apparently not: he’s still an insecure, pathetic loser.
* Of course, Ron gets chosen as Keeper; and of course, it’s all thanks to Hermione. Although given the levels of anxiety Ron suffers every time he plays a game, I can’t help thinking that it might have been kinder of Hermione to let him fail.
* And, for those who are keeping track of the series’ morality, making the team by getting your dad to buy new broomsticks = evil, sneaky and unfair, whereas making the team because someone with a crush on you hexes the competition = perfectly fine. I just love a consistent and well-thought-out system of morality, don’t you?
* Hagrid throws a strop when he sees the trio, and later bursts into tears, like the infantilised man-child he is.
* The idea of putting all the world’s supply of Time Turners into one cabinet is so moronic that only the Ministry of Magic could think of it.
* Hermione defends her hexing by saying that McLaggen’s “got a nasty temper […] you wouldn’t have wanted someone like that on the team.” TBH I’d imagine most of the team would agree: Harry’s stroppiness and mood swings must be difficult enough already, add another moody person and there’d be no end to the hassle
* The issue Harry raises, that Hermione was being rather dishonest, especially as she’s a prefect, is actually quite important. In the hands of a better author, it could be an opportunity to make an interesting point, perhaps about the way that people tend to be corrupted after living in a corrupt environment for long enough. In the hands of JKR, it’s immediately brushed off as a joke.
* “Well,” says Harry, “if it [= the Vanishing Cabinet] is not at [Malfoy’s] house, he must have brought whatever it is to Hogwarts with him.” Well, maybe. Or maybe the Ministry didn’t find it when they searched the house, or it’s still at Borgin and Burke’s, or it’s at some other Death Eater’s house, or…
* Oh, so all you had to do to get past Dumbledore’s super awesome security arrangements was arrive to school a bit late. Who knew? Although it does make Hermione’s faith that any dark objects Malfoy was trying to bring would be found and confiscated seem a little naïve.
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no subject
Date: 2013-03-17 08:03 pm (UTC)Draco IS canonically a good seeker - just not at Harry's level - but then no one is. There is every likelihood that Draco made the team fair & square and then Lucius then bought the brooms in celebration. It is hardly unlikely that a rich enough parent wouldn't buy sports equipment for his son's team.
Many muggle schools depend heavily on alumni to donate in such ways. Would they refuse an offer just because the donator's child was on the team? Especially if said child had already made the team? How would Hermione have any idea of the order in which this all occurred?
And as an aside - note Draco's reaction - he calls her mudblood for the first time immediately after her accusation. Never did it before that.
no subject
Date: 2013-03-17 11:04 pm (UTC)And it’s no wonder that there are a lot of Harry/Hermione shippers. Yes, I know that from Harry’s end, it doesn’t make sense because he never shows any romantic feelings towards her and her friendship isn’t even enough to sustain him when he and Ron stop speaking to each other in GoF. But when you look at Hermione’s end and realize that, despite the jealousy and despite the fact that she’s most hurt by anything that Ron says to her, she treats Harry a whole lot better than how she treats Ron…it’s not hard to see why a lot of people preferred her with Harry. I mean, sure, there is the whole “heroine always has to be with the hero” trope, but maybe some people were just so sick and tired of Ron and Hermione’s tiresome arguing and noticed that Hermione seems to respect Harry more than Ron that they thought that Harry would be a better match for her.
/Wait, what are first-years doing at the Quidditch try-outs? Last we heard, only second-years and above were allowed to play on the House teams. Oh dear, continuity./
How does the whole first-year Quidditch class work anyway? Hooch teaches first-years how to fly, but first-years aren’t expected to make the team. Is her class just supposed to give them the basics so that they can try out next year? For that matter, is the first-year class the only class that Hooch teaches? Is she just a referee the rest of the time? After first-year, if the students try out for the team but don’t make it, or if they have no interest in trying out, is that the end of their flying experience at Hogwarts (i.e. the first-year class will be the only chance that they have to fly?)
/Of course, Ron gets chosen as Keeper; and of course, it’s all thanks to Hermione./
Good grief, can’t Ron achieve something on his own for once? I promise that his budding romance with Hermione will not sputter and die if Ron manages to succeed at something without Hermione’s help. Why couldn’t JKR just let him earn his victory? It’s not like he could have overshadowed Harry if he did; the Seeker is still the most important position in Quidditch.
/making the team by getting your dad to buy new broomsticks = evil, sneaky and unfair, whereas making the team because someone with a crush on you hexes the competition = perfectly fine./
Well, Hermione did it because she loved Ron, whereas Lucius did it because…oh, wait.
/The issue Harry raises, that Hermione was being rather dishonest, especially as she’s a prefect,/
Oh, yeah, weren’t we supposed to boo Draco in the last book because he was abusing his authority as prefect? Yeah…
no subject
Date: 2013-03-18 12:44 am (UTC)Lucius did it because he wanted to remind everybody how rich he is, pureblooded DE showoff that he is. His kind never does anything for love. Haven't you realized that yet? ;-)
no subject
Date: 2013-03-18 12:40 am (UTC)Of course, the problem with that is that you have to force feed yourself a boring doorstop of a book over a short time. Even if you start out with great enthusiasm, you'll probably get bogged down about halfway through.
I’m still not sure what’s supposed to be so difficult about the Hogwarts curriculum. From what we see, it’s all just a matter of waving your wand the right way and saying particular words.
I think the "difficulty" is probably an informed attribute, like "James reformed" and "Aberforth slept with goats."
Wait, what are first-years doing at the Quidditch try-outs? Last we heard, only second-years and above were allowed to play on the House teams. Oh dear, continuity.
Maybe after an exception was made for Harry, a lot of parents lobbied the school to change the rule. I'm sure everybody's not impressed by the Boy Who Lived to Have Exceptions Made for Him.
Of course, Ron gets chosen as Keeper; and of course, it’s all thanks to Hermione. Although given the levels of anxiety Ron suffers every time he plays a game, I can’t help thinking that it might have been kinder of Hermione to let him fail.
No, no, no! Hermione can't have a failure for a boyfriend. Ron has to succeed to be worthy of Hermione--even if he only succeeds through her intervention.
no subject
Date: 2013-03-23 12:19 am (UTC)It works the other way, too. Both of the girls that Rowling awards to the boys turn out to be very pretty. Hermione turns heads at he Yule ball and the wedding. Ginny, of course, suddenly blooms overnight to be the belle of Hogwarts. No thing or person can be too good for our boys!
no subject
Date: 2013-03-19 02:54 pm (UTC)Reminds me of:
STAN How about Token?
CARTMAN Token's a smartass.
KYLE So? You're a smartass!
CARTMAN Yeah. Do we really need another one?
KYLE Good point.
no subject
Date: 2013-03-23 12:24 am (UTC)Well, she did the same to Ginny, who bloomed overnight from an insignificant nobody to a girl whom half the boys 'like' and who suddenly becomes the object of Harry's desire.
HBP is really the book where Rowling discovered that her 'plan' was up the spout, wasn't it? She'd spent *three books* fleshing out the Harry/Cho romance. Then, suddenly, she's at book 6. She couldn't spend her time setting up 'romances' and secondary storylines in the final book, because that had to be dedicated to bringing down the dark lord. So she only had the one tome, HBP, to set up the love interests for both Harry and Won Won.
And so she allowed herself to write a horribly hurried and accelerated mish-mash of puerile teenage romantic nonsense, just to set up her beloved OBHWF pairings for the series. HARRY IS SUDDENLY FANCIABLE, OVERNIGHT. GINNY IS SUDDENLY AWESOME, OVERNIGHT. HERMIONE LOSES HER BRAINS AND GOES GA GA OVER WON WON ALL OF A SUDDEN.
Such a horrible book.