PS Chapter Ten

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*Malfoy couldn’t believe his eyes the next day when Harry and Ron are still at school and cheerful. I can’t believe I just read a sentence from Malfoy’s pov.

*Harry and Ron are really charming boys in this chapter. Hermione’s not speaking to them, which they like because she sucks, so they turn their hopes towards getting back at Malfoy for his trying to get back at them. I kind of love this Harry and Ron. Damn that troll for adding Hermione. We could have seven years of adventures of these two idiots.

*A chance to get back at Malfoy comes in the mail soon enough. And by "a chance to get back at Malfoy" I mean the universe announcing that Harry doesn’t have to get back at Malfoy, because the universe will do it for him.

*I suppose McGonagall’s note telling Harry not to open the broomstick at the table is suppose to be more proof of her incredible fairness, even though the note basically says: Don’t open in front of the plebes or they’ll start wondering why the school just bought you an expensive present for no reason, even though you’re rich. (Perhaps you could have chosen a less dramatic way of getting it then?)

*And yes, the school bought it or McGonagall did. I will hear none of this nonsense about being able to go into Harry’s bank account without telling him. Especially after we heard earlier how Harry himself would surely have been more frugal.

*Honestly, I can’t believe JKR had the nerve to make the Malfoy brooms such a sign of evil the next year. It’s not like the broom was bought for the school with the understanding it’s to be used by a Seeker. It’s Harry Potter’s personal broom because he can’t ride on the kind the school provides for other students!

*Ron and Draco exchange insults—interestingly, this exchange starts with Malfoy feeling the package and saying Harry won’t be able to keep it. And then Ron uses Harry for his own grudge against Malfoy by bragging it’s a Nimbus 2000. Once again I’m in the position of kind of preferring the Malfoy comeback to the other guys’ righteousness.

*This is why even if I was the type of person to overly-identify myself with the house I think I would be Sorted into, I couldn’t. Although the only explanation for Harry’s "special circumstances" is that McGonagall will do anything to make sure her team wins the cup, Flitwick is beaming over the broom and Harry too. Suddenly my mind flips ahead to Cho being a really good sport over not having a chance against Harry’s spectacular broom, only to be crapped on by Ginny later for being a loser.

*Seriously, how could anyone—much less Malfoy—not take Flitwick’s beaming approval of Harry’s special present as a sign of some school-wide Potter conspiracy?

*Harry and Ron walk off laughing at Malfoy’s rage and confusion. Poor sap doesn’t know he’s been set up to both be the kid who gets the short end of the stick and the kid we hate for being so damned spoiled everything goes his way.

*Ron’s own laughter will of course be rather short-lived. The "Isn’t it funny the way that Harry is so much more special than everyone else" will get old real quick after Ron figures out that far from sharing the glory via acquaintance, Harry’s superiority will just make him look shabbier by the close contrast.

*It is true, Harry says, that if Malfoy hadn’t stolen Neville’s Rememberall he wouldn’t be on the team. Or slightly more accurately, if he hadn’t picked up the Rememberall and threatened to leave it someplace slightly inconvenient for Neville to get it back.

*Hermione asks if they think that’s a reward for breaking the rules. The boys explain that no, it’s not a reward for breaking the rules. Breaking the rules is just something they’re entitled to do. The broom is a reward for being more important than every other student. Jeez, I thought she was smart!

*I would draw a comparison between Hermione and Draco with the broom, but where Malfoy recognizes the random special rules for Potter Hermione approves of whatever McGonagall and Dumbledore have done because they are McGonagall and Dumbledore and is just trying to pretend there’s some obviously noble reason for it the boys aren’t appreciating.

*Even Harry, who knew nothing about brooms, could tell that he deserved this one.

*If Harry were an American hero, I wonder if instead of always having to have a the best model broom he’d have some seemingly crappy broom that he anthropomorphized and was better than everyone else’s because it had heart.

*I love that the narrator puts in: "Three Chasers and one Keeper," said Harry, who was determined to remember it all. Um, duh. Of course he’s determined to remember it all. How else would he play otherwise?

*Wood quickly explains the rules of Quidditch: The Beaters are there to comically bash bad guys if they’re Gryffindor, and to show what bullies they are if they’re Slytherin. The Chasers are there to provide players who sound competent enough as they fly around, without really have any significant influence on the game. They’re often girls so they can be athletic without seeming hulky like the Beaters or the Keeper. The Keeper is sort of lumped in with them except in the rare case where a secondary lead is given that position because it’s the least glamorous and so the most opposite of Seeker. Once the secondary lead is in the position the Keeper will also have the power to decide the game. In all other games the victory is decided by the Seeker. So much so that, as you can probably tell, there’s really no need to have the other players at all. Now, as to how the Seeker decides the game, it goes like this: You’re Harry Potter and you’re Gryffindor so you’ll always catch the Snitch unless you’re unconscious, in which case it’s considered a lesser victory where everyone knows you would have caught it. If it’s early in the season your catching the Snitch will result in your hovering somewhere around last place. Mid-season it will help keep you in the running, but winning the cup will be but a dream. If it’s the last game of the season our Seeker catching the Snitch will win the Quidditch cup. Any questions? Harry shook his head, determined to remember it all.

*Wood says Charlie could have played professional Quidditch. Let’s pause for some more Quidditch algebra. Harry is completely unbeatable, a natural without even having any lessons. Only when he sees Krum play he realizes he’s a rank amateur. But Charlie Weasley—not the younger Seeker of the Century with supernatural abilities—could have played for England.

*Harry’s lessons are becoming more interesting now that he’d mastered the basics. I can’t begin to imagine what the basics are, actually. All the spells they seem to learn in class seem equally random to me.

*Also…Harry finds classes interesting? I wonder what kind of student he’d have been if Hermione didn’t make classes her thing and do his homework.

*Flitwick apparently demonstrated flying on Neville’s toad. No wonder that thing’s always trying to run away. I’m surprised it didn’t have a heart attack. Are the teachers all conspiring to kill it because it’s unfashionable or something?

*Ron and Hermione are so angry at having to work together. I don’t really get why the boys are so angry at Hermione. Well, I do get why Ron is. Poor kid’s already been press-ganged onto his ship.

*Harry’s still wearing his hat. I’ll bet not a single person pictures him wearing a hat in canon ever.

*Wow. I usually remember Hermione’s tears here as being genuinely sad, but reading now it’s more plot point-ish. What Ron says didn’t hit me as much as I remembered it in my mind. Maybe it’s just what I know now, but it almost seems like she’s crying because Ron doesn’t like her, because she’s already focused on him. Parvati and Lavender seem like they might have tried to talk to her, which is friendly of them. Even if it’s the inferior kind of friendly that’s the only kind girls who wear make-up and giggle can offer.

*Harry’s glory instincts are already as sharp as his flying. Hmm…an important school announcement just got made and we happen to know of one person who was in the bathroom at the time. Not only can we assume that the teachers would never think to check bathrooms, it will never occur to us to just inform a teacher of this person. No, we must sprint off to save her on our own!

*Another point for Hermione in this book: she freezes when faced with the Troll. I like this Hermione.

*Ron is shocked that Hermione is telling an outright lie to a teacher. I’m shocked because she’s telling a completely unnecessary lie to the teacher that makes it look like they did more wrong than they did. What’s wrong with saying they knew she was in the bathroom and came to tell her about the troll? Why the fuck does she pretend she was in the bathroom looking for the troll when it makes no difference to the boy’s behavior?

*No wait, it does make a difference to the boy’s behavior. It makes them look worse too. Now instead of just detouring to the bathroom to tell Hermione all the students should be elsewhere, they’re going after someone who’s hunting the troll instead of telling the teacher she’s done this stupid thing, thus are going after the troll as well.

*Oh, because she knows that she must flagellate herself symbolically for the boys and show them they own her now. Great.

*And also I guess Gryffindors naturally always consider "I was doing something dangerous stupid that involved a monster" the bets defense.

*Harry thinks Hermione pretending she had broken the rules is like Snape handing out sweets. Proving, of course, that he doesn’t know Hermione well. She’s only a stickler about other people following the rules. She herself is smart enough to break them, obviously.

*There are some things you can’t share without becoming friends, and knocking out a mountain troll is one of them. Fighting off Death Eaters, however, is not. Sorry Neville and Luna. And neither is banding together to oppose a tyrannical teacher. Fuck you, Zacharias Smith and Ernie Macmillan. Nor, obviously, is discovering a three-headed dog.





The Avoid the Limbs Rule
Always avoid limbs if a nose is possible.

Designated Hero
The kid who gets special brooms from the school that are flown in in front of everyone is actually not the spoiled brat. He’s the common everyman who is supposed to stand against the brat.

Foley Work
I wonder what one uses to make the noises of troll feet?

Hero’s Death Battle Exemption
Not many first years could have taken on a full grown troll. Actually, only one could.

IITS
Why are they going by themselves to get the girl out of the bathroom when there’s a killer in the school? Oh, IITS.

Informed Attributes
Malfoy’s the brat with everything, even though he’s got to make do with ordinary brooms he can’t bring to school. Hermione is brilliant and a great friend even though she made up a lie that makes herself and the boys look worse.

Ken and Andrew’s Rule of Plot Holes
Again, why did she tell that lie? It’s a lucky thing Harry and Ron aren’t too bright or I’d have to puzzle out the plot hole of why they appreciated it.

Final score: 7

Signs of things to come: The bathroom, Where You Go To Cry. Harry and Hermione and Ron are now friends because they knocked out a mountain troll, though they still don’t seem to have any more reason to actually hang out than they did before. Harry gets special treatment. The head of Ravenclaw is thrilled to see Gryffindor get an advantage in Quidditch. Ron has nothing to be proud of except being friends with Harry. Harry doesn’t want to be stuck with Neville ever. Faced with a situation that should call for having a brief word with an adult, Harry chooses to fight to a monster instead. Hermione’s special brand of logic is presented as sensible.

H/D cliché count: Malfoy in rage and confusion. The laws of the universe turning Malfoy into Wile E. Coyote. Malfoy stalks up to Harry in the corridor and grabs his broom handle through the wrapping.

Comments

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

*Malfoy couldn’t believe his eyes the next day when Harry and Ron are still at school and cheerful. I can’t believe I just read a sentence from Malfoy’s pov.

The POV was all over the place in the first book.

*And yes, the school bought it or McGonagall did. I will hear none of this nonsense about being able to go into Harry’s bank account without telling him. Especially after we heard earlier how Harry himself would surely have been more frugal.

LOL, I was still trying to give Rowling the benefit of the doubt. Even after 6 books. But the broom is just plain old favoritism.

*If Harry were an American hero, I wonder if instead of always having to have a the best model broom he’d have some seemingly crappy broom that he anthropomorphized and was better than everyone else’s because it had heart.

Thanks be that Harry wasn't American. Because then we would have had to suffer through a "Rocky" subplot. Just imagine page upon page of Harry furiously training to be the BEST quidditch player ever! But then he would discover that he was miraculously gifted after all.

*Ron is shocked that Hermione is telling an outright lie to a teacher. I’m shocked because she’s telling a completely unnecessary lie to the teacher that makes it look like they did more wrong than they did. What’s wrong with saying they knew she was in the bathroom and came to tell her about the troll? Why the fuck does she pretend she was in the bathroom looking for the troll when it makes no difference to the boy’s behavior?

I think this is rather underhanded by Hermione and it makes me like her. Instead of revealing the embarrassing reason why she was in the bathroom, she makes up a crazy story that backhands the boys with falseness. Absolutely Fantastic! That is the Hermione we all know and causes incurable skin acne.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Thanks be that Harry wasn't American. Because then we would have had to suffer through a "Rocky" subplot. Just imagine page upon page of Harry furiously training to be the BEST quidditch player ever!

Oh god yes--and we even got some of that in OotP. I was just thinking of the broom version of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang or the Milennium Falcon.

I think this is rather underhanded by Hermione and it makes me like her.

So you think she fell on her own sword to make the boys look worse? That would actually be logical.

[bigmamag.livejournal.com]

interestingly, this exchange starts with Malfoy feeling the package and saying Harry won’t be able to keep it.

Aw, Draco just wants to see the awesome new broom but is mean about it so he doesn't want to seem envious.

Harry’s still wearing his hat. I’ll bet not a single person pictures him wearing a hat in canon ever.

Because after Harry decided they were unfashionable, the style went the way of the toad and everyone stopped wearing theirs because Harry stopped. If Malfoy really was a horrible bully who wasn't the least bit self-consious and wanted to be better than Potter, he'd wear his hat every day.

The bathroom, Where You Go To Cry

Except Harry, of course. His tears as Heroic and Meant for Nations to Fall.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Because after Harry decided they were unfashionable, the style went the way of the toad and everyone stopped wearing theirs because Harry stopped. If Malfoy really was a horrible bully who wasn't the least bit self-consious and wanted to be better than Potter, he'd wear his hat every day.

Harry's like Clark Gable in It Happened One Night--and he's not even a snappy dresser!

[teratologist.livejournal.com]

There are some things you can’t share without becoming friends, and knocking out a mountain troll is one of them.

Little-known fact - mountain trolls' skulls, much like the bones of birds, are actually rendered more light-weight due to the hollow chambers within. These said chambers are filled with a lighter-than-air gas combined with aerosolized oxytocin (this plays a role in mountain troll reproductive behavior, but that's beyond the scope of this extract), so clonking one on the noggin DOES tend to have the general effect of make you feel more warm and trusting towards anyone who happens to be around at the time. If you're alone and clonk a mountain troll on the head, the mountain troll will probably eat you before you realize that it is NOT your friend.

So, if you look at it that way, Ron got off easy.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Finally! The science between the Trio friendship!

[saylee.livejournal.com]

*Wood quickly explains the rules of Quidditch

The way I see it, Quidditch would make sense if:
a)It was played with only Beaters and Seekers, or
b)It was played with only Chasers, Keepers, and maybe Beaters.
As it stands it is possibly the stupidest game ever invented.

*There are some things you can’t share without becoming friends, and knocking out a mountain troll is one of them. Fighting off Death Eaters, however, is not. Sorry Neville and Luna. And neither is banding together to oppose a tyrannical teacher. Fuck you, Zacharias Smith and Ernie Macmillan. Nor, obviously, is discovering a three-headed dog.

For quite awhile, the combination of this bit and the scene with Voldemort in the Forbidden Forest made me think we'd be seeing a scene sometime where Harry saved Draco from Voldemort or something similar and they became friends. This was long before I shipped Harry/Draco too, surprisingly.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

As it stands it is possibly the stupidest game ever invented.

Oh yes. Stupidest game ever. It's like people playing lacrosse and basketball with two other people playing tennis in between them. Why?

For quite awhile, the combination of this bit and the scene with Voldemort in the Forbidden Forest made me think we'd be seeing a scene sometime where Harry saved Draco from Voldemort or something similar and they became friends.

Yes, you would think, wouldn't you? But alas he is evil, so can't get that kind of chance!

[jodel-from-aol.livejournal.com]

>>Oh yes. Stupidest game ever. It's like people playing lacrosse and basketball with two other people playing tennis in between them. Why?<<

Polo. You left out polo. Where presumably the quality of the pony matters.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

And that's what Quidditch needs. Polo going on on the ground at the same time!

[bramble-bea.livejournal.com]

Harry and Ron are really charming boys in this chapter. Hermione's not speaking to them, which they like because she sucks, so they turn their hopes towards getting back at Malfoy for his trying to get back at them. I kind of love this Harry and Ron. Damn that troll for adding Hermione. We could have seven years of adventures of these two idiots.

Harry and Ron as the British Beavis and Butt-head? They probably wouldn't have survived for seven years without Hermione. Ginny definitely wouldn't (and yet it's Harry and Ron's mindless bravado which nets them 200 point apiece is praised, not Hermione's research).

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Harry and Ron's Excellent Adventure. That could have been something.

[saraswathi-rani.livejournal.com]

Suddenly my mind flips ahead to Cho being a really good sport over not having a chance against Harry’s spectacular broom, only to be crapped on by Ginny later for being a loser.

This is one of the two main reasons why I'm convinced that quidditch could never, ever even remotely work as a real sport, no matter what con organizers try.

I mean, you pick any sport- say, tennis. Sure, you could buy yourself a fancy racket and balls, but those will only do so much. You need both skill and training before you get anywhere near good, and ultimately it's entirely your ability that wins the game.

With quidditch, there is some evidence that skill is needed (being able to flip upside down, stand on broom, etc. certainly helps), but it seems like way too many times the outcome of the game depends upon a race to the Snitch. Therefore, whoever has the fastest or most maneuverable (i.e. most expensive) broom will pretty much always win. How stupid.

The other one being, of course, that the position of "Seeker" is totally unnecessary and plays way too huge a part in determining the outcome of the game.

What's especially annoying is that Rowling could have rectified these problems really easily: by saying that there was some sort of standard racing broom that had to be used by all players, and by removing the position of Seeker altogether and simply saying that Quidditch was timed. You know, like almost every other sport in the world? Yeah.

But wait, we need to make Harry look super special in two ways. My bad.

Also, the last part of the H/D cliche count made me do a spit-take. I hope you're happy. ;)

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Sure, you could buy yourself a fancy racket and balls, but those will only do so much. You need both skill and training before you get anywhere near good, and ultimately it's entirely your ability that wins the game.

Yes, it's hilarious. And yet somehow when it's Harry nobody complains, even when the school itself has bought him the better broom. (They will, of course, get angry at the Slytherin team for having better brooms. Go figure.)

[black-dog.livejournal.com]

I can’t believe I just read a sentence from Malfoy’s pov.

Polite and unassuming as he is, Harry still sometimes lets his omniscience slip out.

I suppose McGonagall’s note telling Harry not to open the broomstick at the table is suppose to be more proof of her incredible fairness

Well, you wouldn't want anyone to guess what's in that long, thin, broomstick-shaped package.

"Three Chasers and one Keeper," said Harry, who was determined to remember it all.

Because he's thinking about the little people!
There are some things you can’t share without becoming friends, and knocking out a mountain troll is one of them. Fighting off Death Eaters, however, is not.

How about watching your professor drink unicorn blood to feed the Dark Lord? OTP!

Malfoy stalks up to Harry in the corridor and grabs his broom handle through the wrapping.

See previous.

OK, sorry, I'm done being hyper this morning. :)

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Well, you wouldn't want anyone to guess what's in that long, thin, broomstick-shaped package.

She really should have reconsidered arrangng for the broom to fly in to the accompaniement of Also Sprach Zarathustra.

How about watching your professor drink unicorn blood to feed the Dark Lord? OTP!

Go figure!

[black-dog.livejournal.com]

She really should have reconsidered arrangng for the broom to fly in to the accompaniement of Also Sprach Zarathustra.

"Sorry to interrupt the festivities, Potter, but I think we've got a problem."

[sarahtales.livejournal.com]

No, no, Sister M, you don't understand. Krum isn't any better than Harry. Who could be? It's just Harry's natural modesty. The modesty that shines through every page. Except for maybe that page where he checks for himself at the front of every newspaper. But apart from that one page! Every page! Not since Gilderoy Lockhart has there been a man so unassuming!

Wait, I'm all muddled again.

I remember reading PS for the first time and thinking that Hermione's lie was dumb, but I waved it away. After all, this was just a not top quality childrens' book, it wasn't going to affect my life in any way, I needed to take a chill pill. Oh misty watercoloured mem'ries.

Cho was really an excellent sport about that broom. Oh, Cho. I love you so much. Harry/Cho is my only Harry het pairing. I have absolutely no patience with people who don't like Cho, even though I feel in her place I would be tempted to pull a Draco and lean forward and grab the goddamn bristles of the goddamn second Mystery Superior Broom of Harry Potter. It was a triumph of the common man, I tell you!

Charlie could have played professional Quidditch because he's so photogenic and that's important. He could have been the David Beckham of Quidditch. That way everything makes sense! (What?!)

The way I see it, Hermione slipped in right under the closing trap door of Harry's open mind. If she hadn't, Ginny might have waltzed in saying 'Zacharias Smith and Hermione Granger, that well-known sleuthing couple who seem to want to fight the Dark Lord by our side? They asked what happened at the Ministry of Magic. So I hexed 'em. Bloody cheek!' And Harry would have high-fived her for it, too.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

After all, this was just a not top quality childrens' book, it wasn't going to affect my life in any way, I needed to take a chill pill.

Oh God. Such innocence.

The way I see it, Hermione slipped in right under the closing trap door of Harry's open mind.

I think she might have been there hammering that door shut right after she climbed in. Can't risk getting crowded out from the inside!

[saylee.livejournal.com]

Cho was really an excellent sport about that broom. Oh, Cho. I love you so much. Harry/Cho is my only Harry het pairing. I have absolutely no patience with people who don't like Cho, even though I feel in her place I would be tempted to pull a Draco and lean forward and grab the goddamn bristles of the goddamn second Mystery Superior Broom of Harry Potter. It was a triumph of the common man, I tell you!

I'm always kind of baffled when I see people bashing Cho, and talking as if she were some great evil. Not caring for her is one thing, but I never thought anything she did was that wrong or particularly odd for a girl in her position. I doubt I would have put up with Harry for nearly as long as she did. I'm with you on the Harry/Cho. She's the only girl I can ship Harry with. It was certainly a better option than Harry/Ginny.