HBP: Chapter 6: All Draco, All the time

[pacoman.livejournal.com]

In which the terrorists Death Eaters WIN Diagon Alley.


- Hermione was dreadful and Ginny good, so they were reasonably well matched. OTP!!1 Notice how the authorial voice leaves it implied that Harry is far better at Quidditch than the bloke who's been following the game for as long as he remembers. I would start a Ron So Pathetic Count (RSPC), but it would probably hit triple digits halfway through the book.

- Say hello to Remus Lupin, bringing birthday cheer in the form of news on death and disappearances, as well as clothes so ragged and patched he probably looks more like a bum nowadays. Such a pity JKR didn't let him become the Back-up Godfather, isn't it?

- Let us all mourn the passing of Igor Karkaroff, who will be missed for his pointy beard and blatant fanboying of Krum and Snape. Know that in your death, you have brought a gratuitous Regulus mention, thus setting up his eventual revelation as TEH RAB. May you continue you fanboying from the Great Beyond, Karkaroff.

- Harry gets the brief stab in the gut from the "People I like are dying too!" icepick, thus establishing his sensitive nature. Now he can spend the rest of the book ignoring the doom and gloom in favor of ogling Malfoy Riddle Ginny with a clean conscience.

- "Talking of Diagon Alley," said Mr. Weasley, "looks like Ollivander's gone too."
"The wandmaker?" said Ginny, looking startled.
"No, the pet store owner." retorted QF sarcastically.

- Lo, Harry is now Quidditch captain, getting equal status as prefects. This: a) is Dumbledore's way of making up to Harry not getting the Prefecthood last year, b) shows Hogwarts' priorities are no different than most high schools', and c) gives Harry the chance to surprise Draco in the Prefects' bathroom! SQUEE!!!1

- Say hello to Bill. He's here to give yet another instance of Ron So Pathetic, make a mention at the Probity Probe (while Harry wonders if the Probity Probe given to him by Nature will be enough to probe Draco Ginny) and to make it up to Fleur for leaving her with those screeching harpies he calls "Mum", "Sis" and "Future Sister-in-law".

- Once again, we get an instance of Ron So Pathetic (two in the same page for those of us who bought the Scholastic edition!), as he forgets the only reason they get Ministry cars is because Arthur's bosses want to protect Harry. And judging by Arthur's undescribed tone, someone (say, Percy) must have been very clear about this to him the other day.

- Say hello to Hagrid. Yes, I know you don't want to, but you have to be polite. Watch as JKR blatantly references Chapter 5 of PS/SS in order to increase the shock of Diagon Alley's current state.

- Shockingly, Tom the landlord doesn't suddenly resemble Quasimodo, but rather remains wizened, bald and toothless. I suppose this is because JKR wrote this chapter before seeing the PoA movie.

- Seedy Merchant is the first character among many to comment on Ginny's summer-brought prettiness. In honor of such an occasion, I hereby start the Ginny So Pretty Count (GSPC: 1).

- Yet another reference to Book 1 Chapter 5 brings us the first instance of Harry noticing the handsomeness of his fellow man... in this book. Granted, the authorial voice describes the robes, and not the young man, as handsome, but it's still valid enough for starting the Handsome Count (HC: 1).

- So the big question of this scene is: to whom would Draco send those flowers? Hermione (to the joy of Draco/Hermione shippers everywhere, the freaks) or the Twins? Or maybe Harry?

- It doesn't help that Harry's wand is at attention for the duration of this scene (Ron raises it, too, but everyone forgets about it, because Ron So Pathetic).

- Props to Narcissa for calling things as they are ("Attack my son"? It was a counterattack, woman! And he deserved it!!) as well as for treating Harry's "witty" retorts the same way we all would have (Harry's anger was only matched by his surprise; why wasn't Narcissa gawping stupidly at his awesome burn?).

- The Draco Dark Mark Debate: Part 1: On the one hand, if Draco feared having his Dark Mark shown because of Madam Malkin raising his sleeve, he wouldn't have taken off his robes (thus making Harry raise his wand a bit higher); on the other hand, if he's wearing clothes under the robes, he might not have liked those needles anywhere near where his Dark Mark is.

- Apparently, the Trio believe that the Malfoys would dare make trouble in the middle of Diagon Alley. Nice to know their selective memory works on events that happened a couple of minutes ago.

- Leave it to the Twins to release all the tension of Diagon Alley with a fart joke. Also, Ron is right: the Death Eaters won't murder the Twins in their sleep, not when they can provide them with all the weaponry they need (plus, Nagini loves those Edible Dark Marks).

- Anyone betting that someone will use those Patented Daydream Charms for a different purpose than advertised in Book 7? I mean, they must be cheaper than tranq darts, for one thing.

- And here are some love potions, for those among us who believe Ginny was spiking Harry's pumpkin juice at Hogwarts. Notice also how the Twins seem to be doing the brotherly tease while Ginny reacts as though they were calling her a filthy, red-headed whore. Honestly, Gin, who pissed on your cornflakes?

- The Draco Dark Mark Debate: Part 2: Either Draco showed Borgin his Dark Mark, or he pressed an Edible Dark Mark on his arm until it left a mark, if you will.

- Also, it's very obvious on hindsight that Draco is asking to keep the black cabinet safe: not only is the thing on plain sight (and actually blocking the Trio's line of sight), it's also probably the only thing in the store Draco couldn't simply put in a bag.

- Hermione didn't have a clear idea on how to get information out of Borgin, did she? Cleverest witch of her age, my arse.

- Also, now we know why Rowling revealed Draco's birthday before the book's release: so we could know what gave Hermione away (besides the complete lack of subtlety, that is).


Next week: Someone gets hexed and stomped on at the Hogwarts Express, and for once, it isn't Draco.

Comments

[q-spade.livejournal.com]

Say hello to Remus Lupin, bringing birthday cheer in the form of news on death and disappearances, as well as clothes so ragged and patched he probably looks more like a bum nowadays. Such a pity JKR didn't let him become the Back-up Godfather, isn't it?

Rather a pity, since Remus brings Harry gifts he can actually use – information & awareness. His mention of the dementor attacks open up a conversation where we learn more about the World Outside Harry. A "bad" man (Karkaroff), a "good" man (Fortescue) and one whose allegiances are unknown/ambivalent (Ollivander) have been forcefully taken out of the picture, either by death or disappearance.

Ollivander's skills are considered important (as per Lupin) but he was never seen to take sides, providing his services to all equally. (As a merchant, perhaps he saw the world not in black & white – as Harry does – but as gold & silver?) This continues the process of moving past Harry's simplistic "Good Guys = People-I-Like vs. Bad Guys = People-I-Don't-Like" mentality, which started with his meeting Slughorn.

I would start a Ron So Pathetic Count (RSPC), but it would probably hit triple digits halfway through the book.

What really sucks about all the dissing he gets in this book is that he's probably the most normal one in his family:

"Then you just buck up your ideas, young man, before I decide you're too immature to come with us!" said Ms. Weasley angrily..." (pg 107 Yank version)

Your. Husband. Collects. Plugs.
Your. Twin. Sons. Run. A. Fucking. Joke. Shop.
You. Are. Having. A. Tantrum.
SHUT. UP. MOLLY.

Interesting that she gives Ron a verbal slap with regard to his "ideas"; in other words, she's admonishing him for independent thinking...something all too common in dysfunctional families where there's a "party line" everyone must adhere to.

Meanwhile, Narcissa keeps her goddamn cool even when Harry talks trash about her husband and threatens her son. She flat-out tells him to stop attacking her kid, that he only gets away with being an arrogant shit because he's Dumbledore's pet, and once Dumbles is gone, Harry's "false sense of security" will die with him.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Hermione was dreadful and Ginny good, so they were reasonably well matched. OTP!!1 Notice how the authorial voice leaves it implied that Harry is far better at Quidditch than the bloke who's been following the game for as long as he remembers. I would start a Ron So Pathetic Count (RSPC), but it would probably hit triple digits halfway through the book.

Yes, let's think about how this works out. Doesn't that seem to imply that Ron is about as bad as Hermione? Because if it's even, isn't it even because Ginny and Harry are super fantastic and Ron and Hermione suck?

Say hello to Remus Lupin, bringing birthday cheer in the form of news on death and disappearances, as well as clothes so ragged and patched he probably looks more like a bum nowadays.

Remus' clothing situation is just hilarious. How often does he rip his clothes that they always need to be patched? Does he have two sets of clothes and wash them often? Here's a thought, maybe the Order could give him a goddamn paycheck for spying on werewolves. Spies do usually get paid, you know, especially when they're risking their lives. (But then, lovers soulmates friends often leave broke friends some money and you don't see Sirius doing that. I think everybody just likes Remus' look.

Lo, Harry is now Quidditch captain, getting equal status as prefects.

It's all about the bathroom, apparently. I'm a little disappointed Harry doesn't think back on his ridiculous sulk about not being Prefect in OotP and feel really really dumb.

I love the Pretty and Handsome tally!

Personally, I assumed Draco pulled his arm away for the same reason he said he did: that he got stuck with a pin.

Also, now we know why Rowling revealed Draco's birthday before the book's release: so we could know what gave Hermione away (besides the complete lack of subtlety, that is).

And so we know why Draco's in the baby Potions class where only the Icklest sixth years haven't turned 17. Does that mean Pansy's older than Draco too?

I love Narcissa being Real Big Bad Mother. Attack her son, yes!

[dphearson.livejournal.com]

- Say hello to Remus Lupin, bringing birthday cheer in the form of news on death and disappearances, as well as clothes so ragged and patched he probably looks more like a bum nowadays. Such a pity JKR didn't let him become the Back-up Godfather, isn't it?

You know, for all that these people say that they are Muggle liberal, why doesn't anyone take Remus to Asda/Walmart? surely he can get nice clothes at low, low prices.

Hermione didn't have a clear idea on how to get information out of Borgin, did she? Cleverest witch of her age, my arse.

Oh, but that was Remus talking, and he's liable to call anythig clever that breathes. This was a nice window into seeing that Hermione certainly is not the smartest person at Hogwarts, and that she really is rather clumsy in her own way.

Let us all mourn the passing of Igor Karkaroff, who will be missed for his pointy beard and blatant fanboying of Krum and Snape.

Poor Igor.

[anaid-rabbit.livejournal.com]

Props to Narcissa for calling things as they are ("Attack my son"? It was a counterattack, woman! And he deserved it!!) as well as for treating Harry's "witty" retorts the same way we all would have
My Narcissa love knows no limits everytime I re-read this chapter. Honestly, this woman rocks! Finally a grown woman in JK`s world who`s neither a Saint (Lily, Alice), a Banshee (Bella, Umbridge) or an overbearing Nurse/Mother (Molly, McGonagall) type figure. Oops... she`s supposed to be evil, right? My bad.

Honestly, Gin, who pissed on your cornflakes?
Probably her pink unicorn named Sparklypoo. Or HellzHottie because she`s such a badass.

[shadefell.livejournal.com]

The thing with Lupin... I can understand him dressing all crappily while he's acting as a werewolf spy. I mean, if werewolves can't get jobs and are outcasts, wouldn't it be hard to explain that he's suddenly all nice-clothes-wearing, well-shod, and clean-shaven?

But at the same time, couldn't he change into less artisticly patched garments when with friends?

Or use magic to mend his clothing?