POA - Chapter 12

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

The Patronus

*Even though Harry knows that Hermione was thinking only of his safety he is still angry with her. Which makes Harry look really good compared to Ron. Ron must look like an insensitive idiot compared to Harry at all times.

*Harry wanks about his Firebolt.

*Hermione spends the rest of her Christmas holiday alone. Aren't you glad you skipped the fam vacation for this treatment, Hermy?

*Oliver Wood seeks out Harry because he is worried about Harry's Dementor allergy. I think Wood wants to take Harry off the team! Oh yes! Please Wood, let your obsession rule the day. Please!

*Darn Ron, he tells Wood about the Firebolt. Wood runs off to speak to McGonagall. Maybe McGonagall will use that as an excuse to give Harry the broom.

*Lets see, protect kid from psycho or let him use the psycho's gift to win Quidditch? I don't think there is any contest. Give him that broom Minnie.

*Hagrid is allowed a good lesson because he shows off an animal who figures largely in Alchemy, the fire salamander. Along with his name, Rubeus, this is a big red flag to the reader about Hagrid's super, hidden awesome powers of ... whatever.

*Harry has to remind Lupin about the Patronus lessons. Can't you just feel the love Lupin has for Harry? He can't wait to get started with those lessons to help the needy little guy. NOT.

*This guy won't break for a little baby, you're going to tell me that the power of pink hair will get through that dysfunction? Please.

*Hermione tries to tell the guys what Lupin's *condition* means. But Ron chases her away. You know, I think Ron likes having Harry all to himself without Hermione butting in. Hmmmm.

*The Patronus lessons are basically exposition to inform the reader what Dementors are and what fights them. Sigh. Only a very morally crippled society would think it was a good idea to corral demons around a Kid's school.

*Just why does Harry need to save this place? They will just go back to their useless ways once Harry buys the farm. I say let their society be destroyed, it is already marginalized, and then we muggles can reign supreme with our oh so medieval internets.

*Incidentally, Harry's happiest memory is also Tom Riddle's happiest memory. They both love discovering that they were wizards and that they attended Hogwarts. Hogwarts makes Harry happy, not Ron, not Hermione, NOT GINNY, not Cho or anyone else in the WW. A child who is attached to a place and not another human being has serious development issues. So how is this stunted child supposed to save all with love?

*Lupin stuffs Harry with chocolate frogs. You know, JKR has to really stop with these strange adults who give children candy or butter them up with flattery. I don't think Harry has met one adult who truly cares about Harry as a lost, parentless orphan. Just like Tom, he is left to shift around on his own. If he turned out to be OSE, it would have served everyone right. The Weaselys don't frickin count. Molly et al, would not have cared a smidgen about Harry if he was not the chosen one. If Harry was not the chosen one, he would have been just another mudblood like Hermione Granger to Molly Weasely.

*Wow, Lupin's pockets are really overflowing with chocolate.

*Ron and Harry think Hermione is skipping classes because she is so heartbroken about being friendless. No, Ron, I don't think she is that emotional. If only she were, she may not be cursing others with incurable skin conditions or sacrificing them to centaurs.

*Wood was unable to convince McGonagall to give up the Firebolt. Which means McGonagall was under Dumbledore's thumb about this gift. You know she was probably just itching to give up that broom. Gryffindor must win! Like they always do! Cheer up McG, you know the author will never allow the Gryffindopes to lose.

*Harry shares several lessons with Lupin. Lupin gives him alcoholic beverages. He looks askance at Harry being enthusiastic about butterbeer. Not that Harry, a 13 yr old, shouldn't be drinking it, but that Harry has already been turned on to it. Darn, Lupin wanted to be the first to get Harry drunk.

*More Dementor exposition. Kiss. blah blah. They take your soul out with a french.

*McGonagall gives up the broom afterall, just like the immoral gal she is deep at heart. Her team must win! Or maybe she did it because Snape made her mad.

*Ron is slobbering all over the broom. He takes it up to the dorm because Harry wants to spend time with Hermione. I bet Ron has a shrine built to it filled with firebolt pictures.

*Hermione is writing an essay called "Why do muggles need electricity". Stupid muggles, can't they just use smoky candles, like sensible wizards?

*OMG, Harry exhibits true, honest curiosity about arithmancy. Which means, dum de dum, its really, really important! Hermione cools down and is about to explain all BUT

*Yes, Ron interrupts extra special exposition once again. Scabbers is gone! Ron throws the bloody bedsheet evidence at Hermione. Cat hairs are everywhere!

*Ron, calm down, that is what "tru luv" looks like. Scabbers was just pricked by Crookshanks Cupid.

Comments

[teratologist.livejournal.com]

Stupid muggles, can't they just use smoky candles, like sensible wizards?

Of course not, because we muggles are cowardly and so don't go out of our way to use technology that causes house fires and could easily catch on the hem or sleeve of a sweeping robe and scar us for life. If we only understood that courage is best demonstrated by courting danger in a stupid and useless manner, we'd abandon electricity forthwith.

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

Of course, nothing says "living on Bravery's edge" like having a house burn down. LOL

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

I think the boggart had power because Harry's fear gave it power. Plus Harry was using it to unlock the memories inside him. That may come into play in the last book.

[saylee.livejournal.com]

*The Patronus lessons are basically exposition to inform the reader what Dementors are and what fights them. Sigh. Only a very morally crippled society would think it was a good idea to corral demons around a Kid's school.

As far as I''m concerned, only very morally crippled society would keep these things corralled near their prisoners, let alone anyone else.

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

Yes, you're right.

I have a feeling that Dementors are really used to keep all the WW in line. The whole population is kept prisoner to their outdated, outmoded and backwards society.

[(Anonymous)]

What? Why? They're just blind, evil, soul-sucking monsters who have extreme difficulty telling one person from another, sent unsupervised to search for a specific escaped prisoner outside a school.

I mean, it's not like people escaped from Azkaban before!* So this is an excellent field test!

* Well, there's the other escape, but nobody will know about that for a year or so.