GoF Chapter Twelve

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*See, the ride to the school is totally different than the other times. It's raining.

*What a shock that Ron’s the one that gets doused with the water balloon. Hermione it barely misses.

*Interesting, isn’t it, that Colin isn't one of the kids who keep checking their DA coins, given that he likes Harry so much—or else he got over that. Or else he's just pretending to get over it in the hopes that it will make Harry fall in love with him. Smart girl, that Hermione.

*Here’s the thing, though. Colin is Muggleborn, right? So why is his brother also at Hogwarts? Does that imply that certain Muggles are carriers of the magic gene, and if the two of them have children all their children will be magic? You'd think with Muggleborns at most you'd have one magical child that's a surprise. But their Magical success rate is the same as Wizards. So where did the Magic gene come from? Personally, I suspect Colin's father is being cuckholded. Isn't he a milkman? Nice twist on that cliché.

*Hermione announces that Parvati Patil's twin is in Ravenclaw, which Harry should already know, to remind us of her existance before she's needed for ball duty.

*Harry's favorite DADA teacher was Lupin. Feel free to exaggerate this into Harry thinking of Lupin as his father and favorite adult in the whole world in fanfic.

*Thought we were through with the backstory, were you? Ha ha! Twelve chapters in and it's still coming!

*I like Dennis. He's an idiot.

*Err, I know I'm an ignorant Muggle and all, but hasn't somebody thought to invent a drying charm that might come in handy here?

*Of course Slytherin was the founder who lived in a swamp. Gothic romance moor, happy fairy glen, sweet pastoral valley, slimy bog.

*Fred and George bravely hiss at Malcolm Baddock as he sits down. Harry wonders if Malcolm knows Slytherin has turned out more Dark Wizards than any other. Malcolm wonders if Harry knows Gryffindor's turned out more bullying jocks than any other.

*Dennis is definitely a Gryffindor, considering it a good thing to have fallen into a lake.

*I love that Ron being rude to Nick is a yearly tradition. Ron should become a ghost and snipe at Nick throughout eternity.

*Gryffindor has won the house cup for three years running, making this a golden time for all the good houses. Unlike the years when Slytherin won and created resentment in the other three.

*The Bloody Baron is beginning to really intrigue me. He’s silent, covered in blood, and can control Peeves. I'm sure he was roped into starting the SPEW subplot under duress.

*Hermione, in her anger over house elves being forced to do work at Hogwarts, creates a mess for them to clean up and pays no attention. Weren't the elves covered in Hogwarts, a History?

*And so begins the most annoying and pointless subplot in canon, which I'm sure will be tied up in a way that makes it all worth it in the last book. Sure it will.

*Oh, how painful there will be no house cup tournament! Couldn't you just give it to Gryffindor now anyway, knowing they would have won?

*Nice villainous entrance for Crouch there. If Harry had only listened to the special effects, none of this would have happened!

*In the whole long description of Moody's eye, I hear nothing about a leather strap holding it to his head like a wristwatch.

*Phew! Glad we learned about those other Wizarding Schools before term started or this expositional speech of Dumbledore's would be even longer!

*Btw, these are the three largest European schools, so I assume there are more of them.

*Wow! A tournament where we compete against each other violently and people get hurt! That's a nice change from our yearly Quidditch Cup and House Cup, where we compete against each other violently and people get hurt.

*Yes, I'm sure the Tournament fostered lots of unity between the three schools. Much like the house cup and Quidditch cup brings the four houses together every year. Has anybody ever thought of, like, putting on a show instead? Anyone besides Draco Malfoy, I mean?

*D'you ever get the feeling Neville sort of gets off on criticism? His grandmother's not here, so he's lecturing himself on what she'd say.

*Ron goes to sleep pathetically dreaming about what he could do if he were the title character.

*Harry, who is the title character, goes to sleep again dreaming about what it would be like to have thousands of strangers cheering him and admiring him, as if this is not his life.





The Borgnine Proviso
C’mon, Moody's perfect!

IITS
So this tournament hasn't been held for hundreds of years. Why would you choose this year to hold it again now, the year when the Ministry is also having to host a huge Quidditch Tournament, in the middle of Voldemort's second rise? IITS!

Foley Work
Is the crash of thunder and lightning a little too much for Moody's entrance? Nah. So long as we don't make the Thestrals whinny in the background.

Btw, can people who have not seen death hear Thestrals? Because, you know, even if they're invisible you'd be able to tell there was something there. You'd hear them moving, see stuff they affected in the environment, feel it if you touched it and probably smell it.

Informed Attributes
Slytherin is the nasty house. Gryffindor is the nice house. Pay no attention to the hissing.

Final score: 4

Comments

[papier.livejournal.com]

Hermione announces that Parvati Patil's twin is in Ravenclaw, which Harry should already know, to remind us of her existance before she's needed for ball duty.

Which is the same as Ginny only becoming spunky and popular when Harry needs her for a snogging partner. JKR really seems to hate women.

Err, I know I'm an ignorant Muggle and all, but hasn't somebody thought to invent a drying charm that might come in handy here?

Dumbledore uses one on Harry at the cave entrance in HBP. I bet he's sitting at the staff table itching to jump up and do it here too, only he needs to give the tournament exposition and can't. :'(

D'you ever get the feeling Neville sort of gets off on criticism? His grandmother's not here, so he's lecturing himself on what she'd say.

Because she's constantly telling him how he should be, he knows exactly the sort of thing she'd say if she were there. No wonder the kid doesn't know how to socialise - he sees himself as being 'wrong' and is too busy trying to correct himself to really be able to relax and make friends.

[sweettalkeress.livejournal.com]

"And why just three major showy events? What about a Miss Tri-Wizard pagent or a team challenge of a Magical Knowldge Bowl type challenge?"

Man, that would be awesome! If they had ten different ways to compete instead of just three? And got the whole school involved? I would so read that!!

[aasaylva.livejournal.com]

Interesting, isn’t it, that Colin isn't one of the kids who keep checking their DA coins, given that he likes Harry so much—or else he got over that. Or else he's just pretending to get over it in the hopes that it will make Harry fall in love with him. Smart girl, that Hermione.
Great - I never thought of that.

Here’s the thing, though. Colin is Muggleborn, right? So why is his brother also at Hogwarts? Does that imply that certain Muggles are carriers of the magic gene, and if the two of them have children all their children will be magic? You'd think with Muggleborns at most you'd have one magical child that's a surprise. But their Magical success rate is the same as Wizards. So where did the Magic gene come from? Personally, I suspect Colin's father is being cuckholded. Isn't he a milkman? Nice twist on that cliché.
As much as I like your inverse milkman idea, I'm afraid, it's just a case of "oh dear, biology". I remember an editorial over at mugglenet quite some time ago where someone valiantly tried to make genetic sense of the concept of muggleborns and squibs and failed spectacularly. To be fair, genetics and maths ARE somewhat related, so...

Of course Slytherin was the founder who lived in a swamp. Gothic romance moor, happy fairy glen, sweet pastoral valley, slimy bog.
The sorting hat's song also depicts Slytherin worse this year and as much as I am prepared to accept the Harry-filter excuse whenever possible, it just won't wash here unless Harry is clinically delusional. Has anyone ever come up with an explanation for this change in the hat's attitude? I mean, just three years ago, you were told to look for true friends in Slytherin!

Malcolm wonders if Harry knows Gryffindor's turned out more bullying jocks than any other.
YES!!! How I long to know what the other houses say about Gryffindor...

Weren't the elves covered in Hogwarts, a History?
To be fair - that's exactly what she complains of. According to Hermione it either didn't state there were house elves at all or (more likely) it didn't mention the fact they were not paid and used more or less like slaves. I suppose that might be due to the authors being pure-blooded wizards to whom it doesn't occur that anyone might not know about it, as shown by Ron and the twins who quite clearly did know about it and never bothered to think about it twice.

Yes, I'm sure the Tournament fostered lots of unity between the three schools. Much like the house cup and Quidditch cup brings the four houses together every year.
The funny thing is, the tournament might actually have worked in creating unity between the four Hogwarts houses (common enemys and all that)- but of course that fell through with the two Hogwarts champions.
BTW, what really IS ridiculous, is to cancel Quidditch because one - I repeat one - student is going to compete in this tournament. Meaning 4 x 7 Quidditch players are practically banned from their sport which is otherwise so highly rated because one student who very likely not even is on one of the house teams has to study for three wizarding tasks? It's like cancelling football because there is an international maths test coming. WTF???

[indongcho.livejournal.com]

As much as I like your inverse milkman idea, I'm afraid, it's just a case of "oh dear, biology". I remember an editorial over at mugglenet quite some time ago where someone valiantly tried to make genetic sense of the concept of muggleborns and squibs and failed spectacularly. To be fair, genetics and maths ARE somewhat related, so...

What was the theory, exactly? I've been tinkering with a genetic explanation for magic in my fantasy world. It won't fit into the books, since the world is like ancient times, but I figured it was a good idea to have everything worked out myself either way. When I get a science tutor I'm planning on asking her to help me out with it.

[aasaylva.livejournal.com]

Hi! According to JKR, the ability to perform magic is transmitted genetically. So, unless you make it a multigenetic ability (meaning there are several genes involved like e.g. with hair or eye coulour in humans - I don't recall which one it is), the magical and the muggle gene are either dominant/ recessive or intermediate. And no matter how you decide, you get into trouble with the respective amount of muggleborn wizards and squibs as stated in the books. for details, I'd like to refer you to the editorials-section on mugglenet.com: in may 2006, there was a paper "Purple Orchids and Muggleborn Wizards: A Theory of Wizard Genetics" by T. Brightwater.

[sweettalkeress.livejournal.com]

"YES!!! How I long to know what the other houses say about Gryffindor..."

I read this on an icon once and just have to quote it:

"Gryffindor: Why be smart, loyal, or cunning when you can be ANNOYING AS SHIT!"

[mmmarcusz.livejournal.com]

Rowling cancels Quidditch under the slightest pretext. "No sport all year because we're holding three events lasting an hour each. Two of which will be invisible to spectators."

She was obviously sick of writing a variation of "Harry was nervous, but couldn't help but notice how sexy the rival Seeker was. He waved at him/her. Then the game started and Harry flew about in circle. The enemy Beaters cruelly assaulted Gryffindor players. Fred and George valiantly and nobly tackled the opposition. The commentator was [funny and cool and biased towards Gryffindor / stupid and evil and biased against Gryffindor]. Then Harry [won the game / got injured heroically / both]."

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

LOL! Yes, I really can't hold it against her for wanting to get rid of Quidditch on the flimsiest of pretexts. I can't say I missed it at all--as you point out, it's not like I couldn't fill it in myself. But still it's hilarious to think it was cancelled because of a single sporting event that covers an hour or two every three months and only involves 3 people. Look, if you weren't good enough to get chosen for the Tournament you don't deserve to get to play anything yourself! Just watch them and be grateful for it! (Or don't watch if they're underwater or in an invisible maze and you can't see them.)

[sweettalkeress.livejournal.com]

It's true- Quidditch isn't even an interesting game, now is it?

But it sort of makes you wonder why you never hear of any other extracurriculars in Hogwarts. It makes Rowling seem like one of those jocks to whom everything but team sports is worthless.

[sweettalkeress.livejournal.com]

"Of course Slytherin was the founder who lived in a swamp."

But... but... swamps are so cool! They're so full of endangered animals and plants!! And you can trek through them and catch cute newts!!