GoF Chapter Twelve

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*See, the ride to the school is totally different than the other times. It's raining.

*What a shock that Ron’s the one that gets doused with the water balloon. Hermione it barely misses.

*Interesting, isn’t it, that Colin isn't one of the kids who keep checking their DA coins, given that he likes Harry so much—or else he got over that. Or else he's just pretending to get over it in the hopes that it will make Harry fall in love with him. Smart girl, that Hermione.

*Here’s the thing, though. Colin is Muggleborn, right? So why is his brother also at Hogwarts? Does that imply that certain Muggles are carriers of the magic gene, and if the two of them have children all their children will be magic? You'd think with Muggleborns at most you'd have one magical child that's a surprise. But their Magical success rate is the same as Wizards. So where did the Magic gene come from? Personally, I suspect Colin's father is being cuckholded. Isn't he a milkman? Nice twist on that cliché.

*Hermione announces that Parvati Patil's twin is in Ravenclaw, which Harry should already know, to remind us of her existance before she's needed for ball duty.

*Harry's favorite DADA teacher was Lupin. Feel free to exaggerate this into Harry thinking of Lupin as his father and favorite adult in the whole world in fanfic.

*Thought we were through with the backstory, were you? Ha ha! Twelve chapters in and it's still coming!

*I like Dennis. He's an idiot.

*Err, I know I'm an ignorant Muggle and all, but hasn't somebody thought to invent a drying charm that might come in handy here?

*Of course Slytherin was the founder who lived in a swamp. Gothic romance moor, happy fairy glen, sweet pastoral valley, slimy bog.

*Fred and George bravely hiss at Malcolm Baddock as he sits down. Harry wonders if Malcolm knows Slytherin has turned out more Dark Wizards than any other. Malcolm wonders if Harry knows Gryffindor's turned out more bullying jocks than any other.

*Dennis is definitely a Gryffindor, considering it a good thing to have fallen into a lake.

*I love that Ron being rude to Nick is a yearly tradition. Ron should become a ghost and snipe at Nick throughout eternity.

*Gryffindor has won the house cup for three years running, making this a golden time for all the good houses. Unlike the years when Slytherin won and created resentment in the other three.

*The Bloody Baron is beginning to really intrigue me. He’s silent, covered in blood, and can control Peeves. I'm sure he was roped into starting the SPEW subplot under duress.

*Hermione, in her anger over house elves being forced to do work at Hogwarts, creates a mess for them to clean up and pays no attention. Weren't the elves covered in Hogwarts, a History?

*And so begins the most annoying and pointless subplot in canon, which I'm sure will be tied up in a way that makes it all worth it in the last book. Sure it will.

*Oh, how painful there will be no house cup tournament! Couldn't you just give it to Gryffindor now anyway, knowing they would have won?

*Nice villainous entrance for Crouch there. If Harry had only listened to the special effects, none of this would have happened!

*In the whole long description of Moody's eye, I hear nothing about a leather strap holding it to his head like a wristwatch.

*Phew! Glad we learned about those other Wizarding Schools before term started or this expositional speech of Dumbledore's would be even longer!

*Btw, these are the three largest European schools, so I assume there are more of them.

*Wow! A tournament where we compete against each other violently and people get hurt! That's a nice change from our yearly Quidditch Cup and House Cup, where we compete against each other violently and people get hurt.

*Yes, I'm sure the Tournament fostered lots of unity between the three schools. Much like the house cup and Quidditch cup brings the four houses together every year. Has anybody ever thought of, like, putting on a show instead? Anyone besides Draco Malfoy, I mean?

*D'you ever get the feeling Neville sort of gets off on criticism? His grandmother's not here, so he's lecturing himself on what she'd say.

*Ron goes to sleep pathetically dreaming about what he could do if he were the title character.

*Harry, who is the title character, goes to sleep again dreaming about what it would be like to have thousands of strangers cheering him and admiring him, as if this is not his life.





The Borgnine Proviso
C’mon, Moody's perfect!

IITS
So this tournament hasn't been held for hundreds of years. Why would you choose this year to hold it again now, the year when the Ministry is also having to host a huge Quidditch Tournament, in the middle of Voldemort's second rise? IITS!

Foley Work
Is the crash of thunder and lightning a little too much for Moody's entrance? Nah. So long as we don't make the Thestrals whinny in the background.

Btw, can people who have not seen death hear Thestrals? Because, you know, even if they're invisible you'd be able to tell there was something there. You'd hear them moving, see stuff they affected in the environment, feel it if you touched it and probably smell it.

Informed Attributes
Slytherin is the nasty house. Gryffindor is the nice house. Pay no attention to the hissing.

Final score: 4

Comments

[sweettalkeress.livejournal.com]

"And why just three major showy events? What about a Miss Tri-Wizard pagent or a team challenge of a Magical Knowldge Bowl type challenge?"

Man, that would be awesome! If they had ten different ways to compete instead of just three? And got the whole school involved? I would so read that!!