Teh bictoly!
Oct. 11th, 2005 06:07 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
jollityfarm.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
deathtocapslockA bit late again, but better late than never, right? Anyway, more of teh Snapey Snape :)
*When we last left Harry, he had just been stomped on by Draco. Now, he lies on the floor like "an absurd turtle", which is a great similie. I hope someone managed to get Draco, Crabbe and Goyle out of the luggage racks at the end of OotP.
*Harry despises himself slightly for imagining people panicking and fretting that he's not there. Where did that come from all of a sudden? Poor Harry, so woebegone :(
*A thought: would it not have been more likely that Mad-Eye Moody would be the person to rescue Harry? After all, he can see through invisibility cloaks. But instead, we get Tonks and some utterly uninteresting hints about the woe she suffers because Remus will not love her. My heart, it bleeds. Like Harry's nose.
*So...Tonks checked every compartment for invisible body-shapes? Or did she do "Accio cloak" in every one? Either way, sounds a bit time-consuming. As I say, Moody could have just taken a look with his mad eye. But he, apparently, is not mooning over Remus (or, from the looks of it, anybody at all) so there's no story.
*Is the patronus-communication thing what Rowling was referring to when she said wizards and witches had something "better than the internet"? Does it have messageboard function? Or livejournal? Or crazy people speculating on how some celebrities are gay but being blackmailed to deny it? Because if not, I think it can't be nearly so entertaining :)
*It'll be a terrible letdown when we find out that Tonks didn't give a shit about Sirius at all, and was just miserable because the boy she liked wouldn't look at her. Remember - boyfriends are the most important thing a girl can aspire to, and without one they'll simply waste away.
*Look, Harry, Professor Snape came to rescue you from being trapped out of doors all night. You might not like him, but it's all the difference between sleeping in the mud and sleeping in an actual bed. So less of the "ZOMG I HAET U!!!" histronics, please.
*Oh yes, Harry. It'll do you the world of good to think that, if Professor Snape hadn't told Sirius to stay where he was, he wouldn't have gone off and got himself killed. Yes, it will be to the benefit of everyone to get in a huff with Professor Snape because he failed to stop Sirius from playing the hero. Hell, he could have said "Fuck it, Sirius, do what you fucking like. I'm going to bed." and I'm sure that would have been so much better.
*I know this sounds cruel, but Professor Snape is not actually obliged to feel sorry that Sirius is dead. I mean, like Harry would give a shit if he did. Besides, Harry is only blaming him because he's there and stuff. He almost says so. I hate him, he was there somewhere, it must have been his fault. By Jove, I do believe we've cracked it!
*Harry's hatred: it is white hot, it bubbles, it burns. It's a rush of pure loathing and his body generates waves of it. His chest is fit to explode with it. And so on and soforth. I'm surprised none of the chapters was called "A Burst Artery" or "Harry's Brain Explodes". I can only imagine hypothetical future spinoff volumes - Harry Potter and the Severe Heart Attack, for example. It's the way to an early grave, Harry. Have you considered meditation?
*Hahaha. Harry wants everyone to imagine he was being heroic, rather than that he was duffed up by Draco while hiding under a cloak like some kind of cowardy custard. Draco will be sure to tell everyone - except not. But that won't stop you hating him for how he totally told everyone in, like, another universe.
*Blah blah, last time on Harry Potter, we had some stuff about Professor Trelawney. I thought we'd get a lot more of her, but she seems to have been discarded as some kind of utter comic relief. She could have been a decent character, but noooo. Mind you, I thought the same about Neville, but who needs character development when Harry Potter has wet dreams about Ginny to muse on?
*Harry, every time you've had a chance to fight Draco, you've made sure that eleventy of your friends showed up. The last time you fought him one-on-one was...ooh, on the train, where he stomped on your nose and left you under an invisibility cloak. That was your chance, and he whupped your arse.
*Dumbledore's manky hand is visible all the way across the hall. I can't help thinking that this is a hint that he didn't have much longer anyway. But this won't stop Harry, with his white hot loathing, from getting in a fuss. This must be one of the Gryffindor things, to be too concerned with OMG JUZTIZ to actually think clearly.
*"We are also looking for new Quidditch commentators, but they mustn't be in any way critical of the Gryffindor team, or said team will break their bones."
*Potions? But that must mean...yes, that Professor Snape is DADA teacher! Anyone thinking "He'll still be there at the end of the book, right?" can stop right there: until Voldemort dies, no DADA teacher will last longer than a HP novel. In the film, the horror at this news will be illustrated by extras being unconvincingly astounded, and then a cut to Draco, Crabbe and Goyle looking smug. Check it out, in about 2008.
*If Harry and Ron had such a strong friendship, it wouldn't need to be mentioned unsubtley all the time. Of course Ron didn't laugh at Harry. He knows the kind of shit-fits Harry gets into if people laugh at him.
*Hagrid, woo. He was with Grawp, who mercifully makes little actual impression on the book. One of the good things about the plotline being almost entirely concentrated on the interests of Harry's wossname is that it leaves less time for non-starters like Grawp. And he can make them all feel guilty for not taking CoMC, even though Hagrid is the worst teacher in the entire world. What jolly fun!
*When we last left Harry, he had just been stomped on by Draco. Now, he lies on the floor like "an absurd turtle", which is a great similie. I hope someone managed to get Draco, Crabbe and Goyle out of the luggage racks at the end of OotP.
*Harry despises himself slightly for imagining people panicking and fretting that he's not there. Where did that come from all of a sudden? Poor Harry, so woebegone :(
*A thought: would it not have been more likely that Mad-Eye Moody would be the person to rescue Harry? After all, he can see through invisibility cloaks. But instead, we get Tonks and some utterly uninteresting hints about the woe she suffers because Remus will not love her. My heart, it bleeds. Like Harry's nose.
*So...Tonks checked every compartment for invisible body-shapes? Or did she do "Accio cloak" in every one? Either way, sounds a bit time-consuming. As I say, Moody could have just taken a look with his mad eye. But he, apparently, is not mooning over Remus (or, from the looks of it, anybody at all) so there's no story.
*Is the patronus-communication thing what Rowling was referring to when she said wizards and witches had something "better than the internet"? Does it have messageboard function? Or livejournal? Or crazy people speculating on how some celebrities are gay but being blackmailed to deny it? Because if not, I think it can't be nearly so entertaining :)
*It'll be a terrible letdown when we find out that Tonks didn't give a shit about Sirius at all, and was just miserable because the boy she liked wouldn't look at her. Remember - boyfriends are the most important thing a girl can aspire to, and without one they'll simply waste away.
*Look, Harry, Professor Snape came to rescue you from being trapped out of doors all night. You might not like him, but it's all the difference between sleeping in the mud and sleeping in an actual bed. So less of the "ZOMG I HAET U!!!" histronics, please.
*Oh yes, Harry. It'll do you the world of good to think that, if Professor Snape hadn't told Sirius to stay where he was, he wouldn't have gone off and got himself killed. Yes, it will be to the benefit of everyone to get in a huff with Professor Snape because he failed to stop Sirius from playing the hero. Hell, he could have said "Fuck it, Sirius, do what you fucking like. I'm going to bed." and I'm sure that would have been so much better.
*I know this sounds cruel, but Professor Snape is not actually obliged to feel sorry that Sirius is dead. I mean, like Harry would give a shit if he did. Besides, Harry is only blaming him because he's there and stuff. He almost says so. I hate him, he was there somewhere, it must have been his fault. By Jove, I do believe we've cracked it!
*Harry's hatred: it is white hot, it bubbles, it burns. It's a rush of pure loathing and his body generates waves of it. His chest is fit to explode with it. And so on and soforth. I'm surprised none of the chapters was called "A Burst Artery" or "Harry's Brain Explodes". I can only imagine hypothetical future spinoff volumes - Harry Potter and the Severe Heart Attack, for example. It's the way to an early grave, Harry. Have you considered meditation?
*Hahaha. Harry wants everyone to imagine he was being heroic, rather than that he was duffed up by Draco while hiding under a cloak like some kind of cowardy custard. Draco will be sure to tell everyone - except not. But that won't stop you hating him for how he totally told everyone in, like, another universe.
*Blah blah, last time on Harry Potter, we had some stuff about Professor Trelawney. I thought we'd get a lot more of her, but she seems to have been discarded as some kind of utter comic relief. She could have been a decent character, but noooo. Mind you, I thought the same about Neville, but who needs character development when Harry Potter has wet dreams about Ginny to muse on?
*Harry, every time you've had a chance to fight Draco, you've made sure that eleventy of your friends showed up. The last time you fought him one-on-one was...ooh, on the train, where he stomped on your nose and left you under an invisibility cloak. That was your chance, and he whupped your arse.
*Dumbledore's manky hand is visible all the way across the hall. I can't help thinking that this is a hint that he didn't have much longer anyway. But this won't stop Harry, with his white hot loathing, from getting in a fuss. This must be one of the Gryffindor things, to be too concerned with OMG JUZTIZ to actually think clearly.
*"We are also looking for new Quidditch commentators, but they mustn't be in any way critical of the Gryffindor team, or said team will break their bones."
*Potions? But that must mean...yes, that Professor Snape is DADA teacher! Anyone thinking "He'll still be there at the end of the book, right?" can stop right there: until Voldemort dies, no DADA teacher will last longer than a HP novel. In the film, the horror at this news will be illustrated by extras being unconvincingly astounded, and then a cut to Draco, Crabbe and Goyle looking smug. Check it out, in about 2008.
*If Harry and Ron had such a strong friendship, it wouldn't need to be mentioned unsubtley all the time. Of course Ron didn't laugh at Harry. He knows the kind of shit-fits Harry gets into if people laugh at him.
*Hagrid, woo. He was with Grawp, who mercifully makes little actual impression on the book. One of the good things about the plotline being almost entirely concentrated on the interests of Harry's wossname is that it leaves less time for non-starters like Grawp. And he can make them all feel guilty for not taking CoMC, even though Hagrid is the worst teacher in the entire world. What jolly fun!
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Re: Giant Questions
Date: 2005-10-12 03:10 pm (UTC)