GoF Chapter Twenty-Three

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Obviously this was written before the GoF-movie came out!

*This chapter is going to take up half the movie, isn’t it. I mean, the part that isn’t Harry getting chased by the Horntail.

*Harry still hadn’t forgotten Dudley and the Ton-tongue toffee incident. In fact, he seems to have vaguely made himself the injured party in it.

*Only Fleur found something to complain about, which they all know because they’ve been spending so much time with all the students from the other schools.

*Oh, and btw, Fleur’s "complaint" is to say the food at Hogwarts is so heavy she won’t fit in her dress robes. (So I guess the other students are allowed into the castle for meals.) Not much of a complaint, but Hermione announces that Fleur thinks a lot of herself anyway. This from someone who chooses to spend her time with OotP/HBP!Ginny, who would win a gold medal in thinking highly of herself.

*Of course, Ginny would never say anything like Fleur says here, because she would just eat as much as she wanted and never gain weight. That’s why everyone likes her so much better.

*Once again, let’s pause to thank goodness for Death Eaters. Burn on Malfoy! And btw, Hermione’s perfect now, because her teeth are fixed.

*Carry on with her brace? So Hermione has been having orthodontic work done all this time while managing to avoid actual braces? Lucky her. Doesn’t seem like she had teeth that would just get fixed with a night brace.

*Her parents aren’t pleased, of course, because they’re dentists. Did you remember that? Because it’s literally the only thing we know about Hermione’s parents and so it seems to drive their entire personalities, even if their profession is useless to Hermione.

*Sirius figures whoever put Harry’s name in the Goblet isn’t feeling too happy right now. I hope Sirius had a big laugh over this dumb plan once he found out the mystery.

*Harry dismisses Sirius’ warnings to be on the alert, as if he actually pays attention to things around him when he doesn’t have to and isn’t at this moment blowing off the whole egg thing.

*Recklessly brave pawns and a very violent bishop. Hmm…

*Harry has inherited the Dursleys talent for gift-giving. Ron, who has nothing, has not only given Dobby a better present, but a more thoughtful one with no strings or agendas attached (like Hermione’s gifts to house elves).

*Harry’s other presents are nicer than Dobby’s. Actually, I thought Dobby’s present was really nice, since it actually is the thought that counts.

*Harry complains about the Dursleys sending him a single tissue. Especially after he gave them a home media center. Or nothing. I can’t remember which.

*And don't ask me how they sent him the tissue. Did Dumbledore send an owl to their house to peck at their scalps until they gave it something for Harry?

*Of course the robes look better without lace, Ron. Why your mother didn’t do that for you we’ll never know. Maybe she was too busy admiring the way Harry’s robes match his eyes or planning his dragon sweater.

*Dean can’t figure out how Harry and Ron got the best-looking girls in their year. Apparently he still hasn’t figured out whose name is on the cover of the book.

*Btw, I can’t help but feel like the fact that Cho, Parvati and Padma are all the prettiest is JKR really trying to be politically correct. I guess Ginny’s super!beauty cancels them out, though.

*Malfoy’s robes are understated as usual.:-) Okay, he can’t yet carry it off the designer wear, but he’ll do it soon. Pansy is somehow dissed by the narrator by being given frilly pink robes to wear, even though I don’t think they could look worse than the horrible frilly thing Emma Watson wears in the movie. I know that one review said it was the dress that "every girl dreams" of going to a ball in, but that was because the review was written by a guy. I like pink, and think that dress is awful.

*Also, Crabbe/Goyle OTP! Matching outfits and no girls! Come on, it’s not like Draco couldn’t have gotten them dates if they really wanted, or there aren’t third-year Slytherin girls who’d want to go however they could. Besides, surely the girls of Slytherin have to be ugly too.

*Krum’s with a pretty girl in blue robes Harry doesn’t know. Oh, he’ll know her in the movie all right. We’re talking slow pan and spotlight—all the way.

*Harry is stunned to realize the 45-year-old woman with Viktor is actually Hermione!

*Gee, even Malfoy can’t think of an insult to throw at Hermione, she looks so pretty. Solution to bigotry=be really pretty!

*Of course, all Harry can come up with to say about Malfoy is that he looks like a vicar. OTP!

*You know, now that we see Karkaroff doesn’t look happy about Krum/Hermione either, I’m seeing a lot of evidence for that theory about Krum being drawn to her as part of a rebellion because she’s Muggleborn.

*Percy’s happy about being promoted. Obviously he’s evil. He gives a perfectly reasonable explanation for why Mr. Crouch isn’t at work regularly, but will still be blamed for not realizing that of course, he’s just possessed by an evil wizard everyone thinks is dead.

*Harry naturally has to stop himself from asking Percy if Crouch has stopped calling Percy "Weatherby" yet. Hey Harry, have people stopped caring about you because of what you did as a baby yet? No? Then fuck off and congratulate Percy who actually works hard for any recognition he manages to get.

*Hermione happily forgets about the house elves when there’s a ball to be queen of. You know, one could probably make a convincing argument that SPEW is a kind of symbolic masturbation for Hermione, the place where she channels her frustrated sexual desires when she’s not getting any in canon.

*Krum proves himself to be far superior than the Beauxbatons students by saying his school is inferior to Hogwarts.

*Harry has never heard Viktor talk. Apparently he’s never heard a Bulgarian talk either, because instead of hearing Viktor sound like one, he just hears generic funny-eastern-European Hollywood accent.

*First hint of the RoR, which even Dumbledore didn’t know about until he needed to introduce it so that Harry could use it in the next book. Even architecture is ruled by plot and springs into existance soley for Harry's benefit.

*Why does Dumbledore wink at Percy, exactly? Is it just to show that Percy is being a Bad Adult who doesn’t appreciate Santa’s jokes about chamber pots?

*Meanwhile, at the other end of the Table of Bad Accents, Roger Davies doesn’t notice Fleur is being insulting because she’s so pretty. Which I guess is supposed to explain Ginny in later books. I notice Fleur doesn’t hex Roger or render him unconscious. What a bitch.

*Krum somehow manages to mispronounce Hermione’s name *exactly* like an English-speaking person (perhaps an American) might pronounce it when he’s only see it written and is unfamiliar with the name. Yet he’s presumably only ever had it spoken to him. Poor Viktor. Btw, a Bulgarian accent would in no way change "Hermione" into "Hermo-ninny."

*In a clash of dance clichés, Harry finds himself doing a slow dance to the accompaniment of a band that doesn’t look like they do many fox trots.

*Neville steps on Ginny’s feet. Harry, just as clueless, never steps on Parvati’s, because he’s cool. I’m sure Hermione dances fabulously too.

*Moody chooses the middle of the dance to tell Harry he can see through everyone’s clothes. Err. Thanks, Moody.

*Ron’s being a bitch, but man, he must be having a terrible ball. This whole night’s just been designed to make him miserable, really.

*Ron’s actually pretty clever the way he covers up his jealousy by pretending Hermione’s helping Viktor win the tournament.

*This whole tournament’s supposed to be about making friends with wizards from other schools, according to Hermione. Really? Since when? I think Ron’s clearly right, dear. It is about winning. As you're doing here by "winning" at the ball with Viktor while never speaking to anyone else from the other schools.

*Is it me, or does Percy not sound all that bad at all? I mean, he’s talking about his job, that doesn’t make him boring to people who actually know about his job. Granted, he’s talking to Bagman who’s a big slacker and thus a better man.

*Harry and Ron wander into make-out lane, where they meet Snape and Karkaroff in a cozy meeting of their own in the bushes.

*Hagrid brushes off his mother’s not being a maternal sort since it’s "not in their natures." Um…should that sound as disturbing as it does? Giants are so beyond bestial they don’t even care about their children?

*Oh dear god, I so do not want to picture the Hagrid’s marriage any more than I have to.

*Hagrid/Maxime=gross. I’m sorry, but this pair creeps me out. I hate Hagrid.

*Ooh, wizarding prejudice against giants! Oh no! That is, wizarding prejudice against *half* giants. Giants themselves really do seem to be barely-human, but you just can’t hold it against *half* giants. Sort of like the way you can treat Muggles like inferior beings all you want but don’t insult a Muggleborn witch. To review: prejudice against other races is fine, because they really are different. But kind people forgive people for being related to other races if they do their best to be wizards.

*Harry doesn’t watch Cho and Cedric because it gives him a strong desire to kick something. I know how he feels. This whole chapter is giving me that feeling.

*Why doesn’t Cedric just tell Harry to open the egg under water in the bath? Everybody still seems to cling to these little loopholes to make it less like telling the other person the answer. If Cedric knew Harry better he might know he had to spell it out for him. Luckily Harry will find yet another helper in the bathroom.

*Harry walks in on Hermione and Ron screaming at each other. He’ll probably be reenacting this scene a lot throughout his life. Can’t you just see him as friendly gay Uncle Harry who takes the kids out for ice cream while Mum and Dad have another row?

*I’m so glad this chapter is over, but I must say in the end: they really are anvil-sized.



Maguffin
No Sirius, in fact whoever put Harry’s name in the Goblet is relieved he got past the dragon.

Designated Hero
I want Cedric to win.

Informed Attributes
Geez, Sirius, of course Harry’s keeping his eyes open!

Also, somehow Parvati manages to come off looking badly for the way she’s steering Harry around, stressing how the girl isn’t supposed to lead, while ignoring the fact that she’s steering because the boy is supposed to lead and he’s not. I know, I know, Harry’s pov, but still. The girls in these books just always seem genuinely in the wrong.

Light Bulb Moment
Oh my gosh—it’s Hermione!

The Misleading Masculine Moniker Rule
It’s not quite, but I think Hermione a the ball is a variation of it. She’s a girl!

Final score: 5

Comments

[go-back-chief.livejournal.com]

Neville steps on Ginny’s feet. Harry, just as clueless, never steps on Parvati’s, because he’s cool.

I bet he does, he just doesn't notice it because he's too busy to note what everyone else does or doesn't do. If the chapter was from Parvati's POV, we'd have heard quite a different story.

Moody chooses the middle of the dance to tell Harry he can see through everyone’s clothes. Err. Thanks, Moody.

LOL! And Harry just grins because being oogled by Moody is nowhere near as creepy as being oogled by Moaning Myrtle.

This from someone who chooses to spend her time with OotP/HBP!Ginny, who would win a gold medal in thinking highly of herself.

Not to mention that Hermione herself easily could be in the running for such an award.

Of course, Ginny would never say anything like Fleur says here, because she would just eat as much as she wanted and never gain weight. That’s why everyone likes her so much better.

Of course! Her skinniness is how we recognise her awesomeness, just as how we know that overweight people are either bad people or there for comic relief. Preferably both.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

LOL! And Harry just grins because being oogled by Moody is nowhere near as creepy as being oogled by Moaning Myrtle.

Once again the Death Eater is just the guy Harry feels more comfortable with...

[(Anonymous)]

*Carry on with her brace? So Hermione has been having orthodontic work done all this time while managing to avoid actual braces? Lucky her. Doesn’t seem like she had teeth that would just get fixed with a night brace.

Hermione's teeth mystify me. If they're large and protruding enough to need correcting, why is this the first we hear of it? Wouldn't the time to mention that fact have been before the "I see no difference" scene? For me at least, Snape's hurtful remark fell competely flat because oddly enough, I'd forgotten that Hermione was introduced as having "rather large" teeth three books ago.

*Btw, I can’t help but feel like the fact that Cho, Parvati and Padma are all the prettiest is JKR really trying to be politically correct.

It feels a little like the black female judge on the cop shows. To cast a double minority actor as the judge sounds nice and progressive, but the screentime will overwhelmingly go to the really important characters, the white male cops.

Incidentally, Ron and Harry are unbelievably entitled and rude. They should be thanking heaven fasting that they got dates, let alone prettier dates than they had any right to expect.

*Why does Dumbledore wink at Percy, exactly? Is it just to show that Percy is being a Bad Adult who doesn’t appreciate Santa’s jokes about chamber pots?

It's confusingly phrased, but I think he's winking at Harry, ensuring that Harry's steel trap mind will rapidly deduce the "joke" was actually a subtle hint to himself about this really useful magic room that fulfills all your needs. Or maybe Harry will just shrug and take the story at face value? Perish the thought. Gotta hand it to Dumbledore, though, this is a clever way of passing a message to someone he has no other means of communicating with. Too bad he can't just invite Harry to his office for a chat about the RoR at any time.

*Is it me, or does Percy not sound all that bad at all? I mean, he’s talking about his job, that doesn’t make him boring to people who actually know about his job.

But it's politics! Politics are boring! Who wants to know anything about the society they live in? Not Ron and Harry. Unless it will be on the test, and then they can ask Hermione. I continue to be intrigued by how quickly Ron becomes fed up with someone who might be Hermione's twin. You know if that was her promotion, she'd brag exactly like Percy.

-L

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Hermione's teeth mystify me. If they're large and protruding enough to need correcting, why is this the first we hear of it? Wouldn't the time to mention that fact have been before the "I see no difference" scene? For me at least, Snape's hurtful remark fell competely flat because oddly enough, I'd forgotten that Hermione was introduced as having "rather large" teeth three books ago.

It's kind of hard to figure out their problem too. I mean, lots of kids have braces, and if she has an overbite that would do it. Instead it seems like they're too big, which braces wouldn't help.

It feels a little like the black female judge on the cop shows. To cast a double minority actor as the judge sounds nice and progressive, but the screentime will overwhelmingly go to the really important characters, the white male cops.

Yup, though it comes off as just eroticizing the "other" before winding up with good English girls.

[teratologist.livejournal.com]

It feels a little like the black female judge on the cop shows. To cast a double minority actor as the judge sounds nice and progressive, but the screentime will overwhelmingly go to the really important characters, the white male cops.

See also: Black presidents in sf/thriller films, Morgan Freeman as God in Evan Almighty.

[mmmarcusz.livejournal.com]

*Btw, I can’t help but feel like the fact that Cho, Parvati and Padma are all the prettiest is JKR really trying to be politically correct.

That, or Harry has a thing for Asians.

[meritjubet.livejournal.com]

In fact, he seems to have vaguely made himself the injured party in it.

It always come down to you, doesn't it Harry? Watching your friends muggle bait the Dursleys must have been terrifying!

Only Fleur found something to complain about, which they all know because they’ve been spending so much time with all the students from the other schools.

What is the point of only pointing the different schools in one house? Wouldn't it better to split them up share them among all four houses? Ah, logic...

Not much of a complaint, but Hermione announces that Fleur thinks a lot of herself anyway.

Someone sounds a little jealous...

And btw, Hermione’s perfect now, because her teeth are fixed.

Which is totally unlike Fleur's comments on food, isn't it? Only Hermione resorts to magic and Fleur doesn't. Huh.

Maybe she was too busy admiring the way Harry’s robes match his eyes or planning his dragon sweater.

It seems the Weasley women just can't resist Harry's emerald eyes.

Btw, I can’t help but feel like the fact that Cho, Parvati and Padma are all the prettiest is JKR really trying to be politically correct.

And they really are so many different ethnicities in the list of main characters as well. Except not. Only passing mentions... and the occasional scene where they are a love interest of a main character.

Also, Crabbe/Goyle OTP! Matching outfits and no girls!

Right on! Draco in vicar robes must mean he's already married them before the Yule Ball ;) and didn't have time to change. Okay, I know they're 14... XD

Percy’s happy about being promoted. Obviously he’s evil.

I have already begun hoping that Percy manages to redeem himself in book7 without having to prostrate himself in front of his family and beg for forgiveness. I hope. Unlikely but.

Oh and Harry? Stop trying to be witty, it doesn't work that well.

[lachlanm.livejournal.com]

meritjubet: What is the point of only pointing the different schools in one house? Wouldn't it better to split them up share them among all four houses? Ah, logic...

The point was that JKR had to set up the Triwizard Tournament as an allegory of the houses. Quasi-Slytherins (Viktor) are possibly evil and study under a former Death Eater, and quasi-Ravenclaws (Fleur) are strong on theory but panic when faced with the terrors of the Tournament. Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors are salt-of-the-earth types who, unlike the others, refuse to cheat during the Tournament. In recognition of their wholesomeness, they're granted all the answers by Providence and by the inspiring loyalty of their friends, who do the work they themselves were too lazy to do. Eventually, quasi-Slytherins and quasi-Ravenclaws are forgiven, the former when they affirm their unworthiness and the latter when they enthuse over their Gryffindor fiancés' battle scars, showing that their priorities are sound. The Hufflepuffs are sacrificed, and Glorious Gryffindor saves the world. The End.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Except for Cedric, because he's dead. And Fleur, who's just inherited the mother-in-law from hell.

[meritjubet.livejournal.com]

Of course! Thanks for pointing the error in my ways, I must refrain from my harsh critcism of the Gryffindor House ;)

Except for Cedric, because he's dead. And Fleur, who's just inherited the mother-in-law from hell.

At least Fleur has a chance to redeem herself in marriage and renounce her flighty ways... Mrs Weasley, I imagine, would prefer to see them married rather than living in sin.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

LOL! Best explanation ever.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Right on! Draco in vicar robes must mean he's already married them before the Yule Ball ;) and didn't have time to change. Okay, I know they're 14... XD

Hee! He loved it, too.

I have already begun hoping that Percy manages to redeem himself in book7 without having to prostrate himself in front of his family and beg for forgiveness. I hope. Unlikely but.

Me too.

[lachlanm.livejournal.com]

sistermagpie: *Also, Crabbe/Goyle OTP! Matching outfits and no girls! Come on, it’s not like Draco couldn’t have gotten them dates if they really wanted, or there aren’t third-year Slytherin girls who’d want to go however they could. Besides, surely the girls of Slytherin have to be ugly too.

I continue to be vaguely amused by the fact that the Gryffindors live in a tower, have a sword as their founder's heirloom, and try to be as macho as possible, while the Slytherins have jewelry (the locket) as their corresponding heirloom and are constantly violating gender norms. Are there any Slytherin boys in Harry's year who fandom hasn't labeled as possibly gay? Draco is really campy, Crabbe and Goyle go the the ball together and polyjuice into girls, and Blaise apparently can't be bothered with girls. That's everyone but Theodore Nott, about whom we know almost nothing .

And as far as the ugly Slytherin girls are concerned, Millicent doesn't need you to "escort" her to the ball, thank you very much.



sistermagpie: *Krum somehow manages to mispronounce Hermione’s name *exactly* like an English-speaking person (perhaps an American) might pronounce it when he’s only see it written and is unfamiliar with the name. Yet he’s presumably only ever had it spoken to him. Poor Viktor. Btw, a Bulgarian accent would in no way change "Hermione" into "Hermo-ninny."

Not to mention that you would think Bulgarians would have some familiarity with Greek names, because of Orthodoxy and the Cyrillic alphabet—maybe not much, but at least enough not to say "Hermy-own."



sistermagpie: *Moody chooses the middle of the dance to tell Harry he can see through everyone’s clothes. Err. Thanks, Moody.

That was really creepy. That said, it's funny if you take the secret-identity element into account.

Barty: Duuuuuude, I can see through your robes. (David-Tennant-style deranged grin)

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

I continue to be vaguely amused by the fact that the Gryffindors live in a tower, have a sword as their founder's heirloom, and try to be as macho as possible, while the Slytherins have jewelry (the locket) as their corresponding heirloom and are constantly violating gender norms. Are there any Slytherin boys in Harry's year who fandom hasn't labeled as possibly gay? Draco is really campy, Crabbe and Goyle go the the ball together and polyjuice into girls, and Blaise apparently can't be bothered with girls.

And Slytherin's the one with the Chamber of Secrets as opposed to the tower too. Get it? Get it??:-D Also I tend to see the snake imagery as female, though I know it's also a phallic symbol. Nagini's female.

That was really creepy. That said, it's funny if you take the secret-identity element into account.

Everything's funny when you add that into account.;-)

[aasaylva.livejournal.com]

I’m sure Hermione dances fabulously too.
This is SO cliché and annoys me no end. Somehow, it's always the guys who get ridiculed for not being able to dance properly (and rightfully so), whereas the girls just can do it - even the ones like Hermione who'd never bother to take lessons. Is the dancing gene located on the second X-chromosome or what?

horrible frilly thing Emma Watson wears in the movie.
Word. Especially as in the book Hermione got to wear a blue robe, underlining her inner Ravenclawishness and thus ability to act as the love-interest as well. Which makes me wonder why there is nothing Ravenclaw about Ginny. And gets up my hopes for Luna in the end (even more so with the new movie!)

Ron’s actually pretty clever the way he covers up his jealousy by pretending Hermione’s helping Viktor win the tournament.
True, I hated Ron for this because I thought it really cruel on his part - and quite uncharacteristically Slytherin. I could have seen Draco reducing a girl to tears like that...

[lachlanm.livejournal.com]

aasaylva: This is SO cliché and annoys me no end. Somehow, it's always the guys who get ridiculed for not being able to dance properly (and rightfully so), whereas the girls just can do it - even the ones like Hermione who'd never bother to take lessons. Is the dancing gene located on the second X-chromosome or what?

Actually, having the dancing gene on the X chromosome might just as easily make the boys better at dancing, because if the gene is recessive, they wouldn't have another X chromosome with a dominant non-dancing gene to counteract the recessive dancing one. That's how color-blindness works, anyway.

I feel really nerdy now.