HBP Chapter Twenty-Six

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*Harry and Dumbledore seem to have Apparated themselves into an entirely different book. Suddenly we’ve got cliffs and the sea and salty air. It’s so not the kind of place Harry usually goes. I feel like there should be tourists.

*ETA: It's not even a woods!

*Harry can’t believe the orphanage brought the kids to this place for a day trip because it looks dangerous. How Muggle of him. A wizard would probably be thinking, "Well, the jagged cliffs and the steep drop into the sea is all right, but isn’t there a sea monster that could eat them?"

*Tom’s a pretty badass magician at ten, getting two children and himself down a cliff face. Harry doesn’t seem to have much idea how to do it magically at 17.

*ETA: ::sigh:: What happened to Tom anyway?

*Dumbledore’s tale of how Tom brought the children this way just to scare them because he’s a psychopath makes you wonder why Dumbledore’s brought Harry the same way.

*I’ll bet Harry’s water-logged clothes billowed around him. Swimming in a robe must be really unpleasant.

*That is, if he's remembered Wizards wear robes.

*I honestly can’t remember where Harry stands on the swimming question at this point. I seem to remember being told he wasn’t allowed to take lessons with Dudley when he had to face the Second Task, but he seems pretty handy at it now. I guess he got confidence from that experience and therefore skill?

*Maybe this is because I just saw the movie Talk to Her, which features a version of this, but damn, Harry and Dumbledore appear to be entering a big rock vagina. No wonder it’s so cold and unwelcoming. Isn’t there a nice pillar Harry could climb instead?

*How can Dumbledore tell this is the place? It has known magic. In that way that lots of fantasy series can have things know magic but has never really been suggested in this one. Luckily I’ve read it enough in fanfic that it’s not too jarring. They’ll be untangling webs of wards in no time.

*ETA: This is one of those places where you're reminded that there's really no crossover into the adult world for Harry and the kids. We'll just assume that in the epilogue he knows all this stuff he never seems to study in school and duels at a much higher level.

*Once Harry hears that he can totally feel the magic too. Mm-hmm. Very sensitive to enchantment, is Harry. Not.

*What does magic feel like anyway, I wonder? Can Muggles feel it? (Probably only in some embarassing way that makes them look dumb.)

*Dumbledore and Harry are still in the ante-chamber, and must penetrate the inner place, where the real danger lies. It’s like the Cave of H/G metaphor! Which was totally true!

*Honestly, this is the second scary, cold, cave full of monsters that Harry’s been in while being connected to his ideal girl in some way. How many more signs from the universe does the boy need? A rain of Judy Garland records?

*Of course, both caves were made scary by the presence of handsome Tom Riddle. He’s the one that makes all this seem cold and barren! Once he’s vanquished all these dark slits and tunnels and inner places will seem cozy and warm! These are Voldemort’s obstacles, not nature-made!

*ETA: Yeah, the epilogue really is the true end of the series. Harry triumphs in the end and wins that family!

*Harry’s never seen anyone work things out like Dumbledore does here, by running fingers over things and not saying anything. Harry explains this by saying bangs and smoke are really a sign of ineptitude, but that’s not really the point, is it? We’ve seen plenty of people work magic smoothly and quietly before. What we’ve never seen is any hint of being able to work out Braille spell codes or whatever Dumbledore’s doing here. If I were Harry I’d be demanding to know exactly what discipline this was and why it wasn’t taught at Hogwarts, the only school there is.

*ETA: But then, even Patronus isn't taught at Hogwarts.

*Dumbledore apologizes for forgetting the Power the Dark Lord Knows Not that Harry has in spades does not include elementary comfort spells, so he can’t dry himself off after swimming.

*Dumbledore’s all disdainful about Tom’s password protection on his cave. "Oh, blood magic. So crude." This from a guy whose office is open to anyone with half a brain and a sweet tooth.

*ETA: Again, I'm fascinated by the show of Dumbledore being so amazingly adept at magic because like all really complicated and esoteric magic I buy it, but it's obviously fake. Based on what we've seen at Hogwarts HP magic doesn't really work that way.

*Good thing Tom didn’t use the Slytherin method, huh? Stare at the rock and say "Genocide."

*The darkness in the cave is somehow denser than normal darkness. I believe the technical term for this is "scary dark."

*Hold the phone. Harry just asked a logical question about summoning charms.

*Dumbledore wears buckled shoes? Like Ben Franklin style buckle shoes?

*ETA: Purple suits, buckle shoes, completely celibate.

*Magic always leaves traces, Dumbledore says again. Also I know the style of the kids he taught—back when I was forced to deal with non Chosen Ones at Hogwarts. Look Harry, I’ve got like one more chapter to be alive in this series and I’ve got to reveal all my highly advanced wizard powers and magical genius you’ve only heard about before I kick the bucket, so expect a lot of this.

*ETA: How naive I was then that I thought Dumbledore dying meant he had little time left to reveal himself. If only I'd known his backstory was going to eat large portions of the next book.

*ETA: Though again it's kind of interesting the way all the backstory still basically says that Dumbledore was born one of those Wizards who can do all this esoteric magic, which is why he was always amazing.

*Harry makes another logical deduction, this time about weight. Apparently any time Harry says something halfway smart he’s going to be wrong. I can see why he gives up.

*Which is probably why Harry doesn’t ask Dumbledore if there’s not some way they can fly over the water.

*Harry’s powers won’t register compared to Dumbledore’s? That sounds like a diss on the Chosen One to me. I think a fight is in order!

*ETA: On one hand the "coming of age" moment is a valid thing for magic to recognize, but otoh, it's a bit like magic just follows the same random beaurocratic rules for plot purposes as the Ministry.

*ETA: You'd think if magic recognizes things like that they should have been able to tell that the magic at Harry's house in CoS was not done by an under-aged Wizard. But then, you'd think that anyway--and besides, the Ministry wouldn't honestly investigate it anyway.

*Voldemort’s mistake, says Dumbledore, is that age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth. It’s Voldemort’s mistake because Dumbledore would never make such a mistake. Or…would he? Mwahahaha!

*ETA: Interesting line now that we know that Dumbledore will spend the rest of the book managing Harry's own hero quest from beyond the grave and that this is a good thing. The only thing Dumbledore really sees as superior in Harry is the great love in his heart...which is really just your usual "children are so innocent" romanticization of adults. I don't know whether Dumbledore misunderestimates the youth in this book but he certainly doesn't ever consider them capable of handling themselves on their own.

*Dumbledore totally gets off on Harry being freaked out by things that he can then be calm about: Yup, knew that was there. Never occurs to him to just warn Harry something's coming. Not that I can fault him too much for that. Dramatically it’s the only choice. But still, it fits his character too, and if Draco Malfoy were the Chosen One (heaven forbid) he’d be making sarcastic comments at him about it.

*Dumbledore continues to drop just enough hints at the dangers they’ll be facing to freak Harry out without calming him down. Again, I know this is dramatically good for the author, but it still says a whole lot about Dumbledore’s style. He’s all about nobody else knowing anything and letting him take care of it. Oh, you don’t have to know about the bodies under the water because I don’t think they’ll be a problem yet. So I won’t tell you what they are and what to do if I’m wrong and one jumps out at you.

*ETA: Oh man. Is that Dumbledore or what? The guy who goes to his grave clutching all the important information everybody needs to know in his cold, dead hands? (Along with the Elder Wand.)

*Dumbledore explains there’s nothing to fear in a body or in darkness. Common sense, really. It’s not like the body could be a zombie attacking you in a magical darkness with powers all its own…oh wait, YES IT COULD!

*ETA: Wasn't Voldemort supposed to be raising an Inferi army or some such in this book? Seems like that was a rumor. They're only mentioned to set up these guys, who must have been here for years.

*ETA: That would be another not!Chekov's gun.

*Harry clicks into his "Woe is me I shall never see the warmth of Hogwarts and my friends again!" At least there’s the small comfort that he didn’t have a good-bye scene with Ginny.

*Harry can’t pretend now that he isn’t scared. Well, given that he’s traveling with the Crypt Keeper, you can hardly blame him. Anyway, they finally arrive at the bird bath of doom, which appears to be filled with radioactive goo.

*The Horcrux is guarded by magic so mysterious it can only be broken through by a super genius powerful wizard mumbling and waving his hands in ways we could never understand. Too bad they didn’t use Voldemort’s Security Firm when they were trying to keep people from that Philosopher’s Stone that was protected by a series of puzzles tailored to the talents of three 11-year-olds.

*Nice little mention of Dumbledore’s "insane" need to see the good in Snape everyone when he says Voldemort wouldn’t make the Potion immediately fatal.

*ETA: Which of course Dumbledore does not possess at all. What he does have is an "insane" need to keep all the information for himself so he has all the power. So he's not going to explain to Harry how he found out about this Horcrux at all, or how to destroy it, or basically anything he would ostensibly need to know if he's going to get the rest.

*Dumbledore’s concluded he’s got to drink the Potion. Doesn’t even try getting rid of it in some other way, like pouring it out, spitting it out or vomiting it back up. Wouldn’t it be funny if Dumbledore was sort of killed by his own confidence that he couldn’t be wrong? Oh wait; he kind of was killed by that anyway.

*ETA: Not that this means that anyone shouldn't spend all of next year desperately trying to figure out what Dumbledore meant for them to do so they can follow his plans to the letter.

*Ooh. Listening to Dumbledore explain how Voldemort would want to keep someone alive for a while after they penetrated their defenses makes me really look forward to the Regulus story! How on earth did he manage to leave a note? He’s the best wizard ever!

*ETA: Oh man. How painful is that. The Regulus story turned out to be the Kind Massa Harry story.

*Harry wonders: was this why he was brought along? So he could force feed Dumbledore a Potion that would cause him unendurable pain? Well, that’s what the readers are hoping Harry, because it’s the best thing you do on this trip.

*ETA: Really he was brought along to be impressed by Dumbledore.

*Harry and Snape could have such good bitch sessions about Dumbledore if they didn’t hate each other.

*ETA: And if they both weren't Albus's bitches in the end.

*Harry asks if he couldn’t drink the Potion, which sounds all sacrificial and brave but you know, if I were in Harry’s place I’d want to be the one to drink it because I’d think Dumbledore had a far better chance of getting me out and fixing me than I had of getting out alive once Dumbledore was Potioned.

*ETA: Funny to think this could all be solved with a House Elf. And they could get one, too, just be calling for one. House Elves get added to the list of "Magic that's really too powerful to sustain the plot."

*ETA: Though I'm sure if someone suggested the idea they'd reject it on the grounds of cruelty. That's what makes them the good, rightful masters.

*Hating himself, repulsed by what he was doing...blah blah, like Snape on the Tower, right? Right.

*It’s lucky that for all Dumbledore’s horrors as a result of the Potion, he’s quite willing to drink it. What would Harry have done if he’d actually fought him?

*Kill me! Kill me! Kill me! Foreshadowing of the Tower? You decide.

*ETA: Oh yeah, and the whole mystery of who Dumbledore's talking about here is his slow sister he didn't want to take care of. Which would be actually a really interesting story if I didn't hear it so many times in DH, where it really wasn't as important as people acted like it was.

*Zombies appear and Harry goes for…Sectumsempra? So I guess that bloody scene in the bathroom was just a try-out that got a little out of hand? He goes for the Dark Magic? He seems to have taken to that spell really well.

*Dumbledore comes through with a fire spell. I don’t blame Harry for forgetting what Dumbledore said about fire. Given the way it was delivered, it’s not surprising Harry wouldn’t remember it (note that I’m not claiming Harry deserves to be eaten by zombies for not retaining carelessly given instructions about them. I’M LOOKING AT YOU, HAGRID!).

*Anyway, given that Harry has forgotten fire it’s interesting to see where his own instincts take him. I’m surprised he’s not Crucio-ing, to be honest.

*ETA: LOL! Even more surprised now!

*The zombies, unfortunately, have no blood to spill. Unlike Malfoy. Mmmm. Beautiful pure blood spilling in scarlet rivers over the cracked stone floor. Totally worth a mild twinge of conscience...

*ETA: Honestly, I don't get why Harry uses Sectumsempra here. I mean, it's a perfectly good spell to use if he used it correctly, like by cutting off the zombie's arms and legs or heads so they can't come after him. But I don't really get what the spell's supposed to mean thematically. He almost killed another boy accidentally with it during a fight, so why does the author choose to have him use it here? (Since it's not like he's using it strategically the way I mentioned above.) It seems like it really is just about him adding it to his badass arsenal after trying it out successfully--like Levicorpus.

*Dumbledore says he is not worried, as he is with Harry. A bit of empty flattery given that Dumbledore just saved Harry’s arse with the Inferi after Harry panicked. If he wasn’t such a consistently smarmy git when it comes to Harry I’d think Dumbledore was being sarcastic.

*And yeah, I got the turnaround from their first conversation where Harry had nothing to worry about since he was with Dumbledore. As if now Harry's on his level. Unfortunately Harry hasn't earned this reversal at all in this book. He spent it lying his way through class, punking people in halls and getting up his nerve to kiss Ginny. There's no change in their relative positions at all. Harry's still following along, gormlessly watching Dumbledore take care of stuff.

*ETA: Which in his world is being an adult. His final test is just proving he'll stay that way even after Dumbledore's dead.





The Cricket Rule

Day-for-Night
Oh, you know these got a big workout.

IITS
Is there a reason we’ve Apparated halfway down a cliff? It looks cool? Okay, that’ll have to do. Mis-en-scene is important.

Informed Attributes
I am not worried, Harry. I am with you. But more importantly, the danger has passed.

James Bond Exposition Rule
You see, Harry, the green goo can’t be immediately fatal, because Voldemort would need the person to stay alive long enough so he could track him down and meticulously reveal his master plan before leaving him to die alone.

Ken and Andrew’s Rule of Plot Holes
And then Dumbledore found the entrance to the cave by moving his fingers around mysteriously and being an old man with a white beard. Make up your own magical physics to explain what the hell he’s doing.

Final score: 4

Slytherin Liquid count: Swimming, boats, a dark lake, glowing green goo, wet and shivering!Harry, Potion of Bad Dreams and finally, nasty bloodless lake zombies driven away by good clean fire!

Comments

Re: Part One of Worst. Horcrux Trap. Ever.

[eir-de-scania.livejournal.com]

JKR was asked how Harry was supposed to find and destroy the Horcruxes, given that he never got any real instruction about it and she answered something like, "Harry has learned more magic than he realizes."
***Probably why poor Harry has to rely on Suddenly Just Knowing Things. Instead of figuring things out, remember things learned in third year and half forgotten, putting one and one together from what he learned during his six years at school...