Deathly Hallows Chapter 2

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

Deathly Hallows: Chapter 2

In Memoriam

This chapter starts with the bang-o sentence: “Harry was bleeding.” Way to get our attention! Unfortunately, we’ll eventually find out that Harry is bleeding because he’s an idiot.

Humorously, Harry steps on a teacup placed just outside his room. I think it would have been funnier if Harry had been barefoot. Then he’d be bleeding in two places and he’d have to hop to the bathroom. Then, maybe he could lose his balance on the slippery tiles and end up with his head in the toilet. I’m really surprised Rowling missed his opportunity.

Instead, Harry merely picks up the pieces of broken teacup and throws them into a bin, speculating that the cup is Cousin Dudley’s “clever” idea of a trap.

I’d like to take a moment here to comment on Dudley’s devolution as a villain in the series. In PS/SS, Dudley was mercilessly beating on Harry and terrorizing all the other kids at school from even considering Harry as friend material. He was then punished with by karma and Hagrid with a pig’s tail. And after that he… what does he do, exactly? Nothing much to Harry as I recall. In CoS and PoA, he’s just there, enjoying the adoration of adults who dislike Harry. In GoF, he’s fat. In OotP, he’s shaped up and he’s bullying other kids—but not Harry. In HBP, his only crime is to refuse an alcoholic drink (which, in our country would be considered responsible behavior for an underage boy).

So, in DH, Dudley is reduced to placing teacups outside Harry’s door in a vain attempt to express his admiration. Something which Harry, who is apparently blind to Dudley’s actual mindset, interprets as a hostile action. No, Harry. Dudley isn’t your enemy. He’s your House Elf.

But, then Harry is distracted by the thought that he has four whole days until he can do magic. Not that his magic can heal anything. Even the narrator on Harry’s shoulder thinks he’s lame for never taking a Wizard’s First Aid class.

That should have been one of the elective courses, don’t you think? They could have called it the “Spells That Aren’t as Flashy as Turning Hedgehogs into Pin Cushions But a Whole Lot More Useful” class.

As for me, I’m distracted with wondering why Dudley didn’t set the teacup on an end table or something. Or maybe knock on the door so that Harry would get the tea before it got cold. But then, he’s never been portrayed as being very clever.

You know, I’m not trying to be mean about Harry... he is the hero and I’m trying as hard as I can to like him, but I can’t get over this next bit. We’re told that in six years, Harry’s never really unpacked his trunk completely, but always left a layer of “mulch” at the bottom. Is this a boy thing? I’m a really messy person, but I unpack my bags when I get home. And, if there’s broken glass in it, I clean it out. Even if it means lugging in the vacuum cleaner to my room. It’s not like I have this handy little stick on me at all times that will magically clean stuff.

Also, if I cut myself on something embedded in “mulch,” I put Bactine on the cut. Or iodine. Or clean it out with alcohol. Just because you’re a wizard doesn’t mean you can’t get infected.

Oddly, Harry thinks that his uncle and aunt will probably burn his things in the middle of the night, because they are so anti-magic. He’s obviously forgetting that his aunt and uncle are supposed to leave in an hour or so for parts unknown. The last thing they’d do is lug his stuff along with them for the pleasure of setting it on fire.

Among the things Harry is leaving behind are his school robes. What he’s keeping is his Muggle clothing. This sounds like he might be thinking of hiding out in the Muggle world. Or, that Rowling has finally owned up to the fact that Wizard clothing is stupid.

Harry packs the Marauder’s Map, not that the map will have any purpose on his Quest.

He also packs a small fragment of mirror (which he cut his finger on) and the locket which “cost” Dumbledore’s life. It seems that Harry values things by how much pain they have caused him. Or by how important they are to eventually wrapping up the plot in a surprising twist!

Meanwhile, Hedwig is pretending to sleep because she hates Harry. I’m not making it up. That’s in the book.

Hehe. Harry finds the newspaper he was looking for by remembering the short mention of Charity Burbage’s resignation on the front page. Too late, J.R! You’re placing the Chekhovian gun on the mantelpiece after it was fired!

In my book, this chapter takes up approximately 16 pages. Of those, 11 pages are filled with stuff about Albus Dumbledore’s life. Didn’t we have an entire chapter in the last book dedicated to his funeral? There wasn’t this much coverage of the John Kennedy assassination! (On the other hand, there was some effort to actually catch the man who murdered Kennedy, so maybe it balances out.)

The first article, by Elphias Doge goes something like this: I met Dumbledore when he was eleven and it was awesome! He awesome to me and awesome to Muggles. He was an awesome student and when we graduated, we were going to go on an awesome trip! But his mom died, so he didn’t go. But he was still awesome! He went on to get an awesome job as a teacher! Then he had an awesome duel and even more awesomely turned down the job as Minister of Magic! Wasn’t he awesome?

Dumbledore’s defeat of Grindelwald is considered a turning point in wizarding history on a par with the enactment of the Statute of Secrecy or the downfall of Voldemort. Consequently, it was never included in the history class at Hogwarts.

Harry feels ashamed about how little he knew Dumbledore. I think Harry’s giving himself a bum rap here. He tried to ask a personal question once when he was eleven and even then he could tell Dumbledore was lying.

Besides, Harry never even asked anyone about his parents. Nor does he know the names of Hermione’s parents. So, you know, asking personal questions isn’t Harry’s strong suit.

Then, Harry notices that Rita Skeeter is being interviewed about her upcoming book on Dumbledore’s life. Feeling the need to become enraged, he decides to read through a six-page article of “lies” about his beloved mentor.

By the way, nobody in the U.S. would ever write an interview like this (what with the descriptions of Rita tossing her hair back and such). Is this a common style for British tabloids?

Rita promises her readers that there’s a lot of nastiness in the Dumbledore family—much worse that Aberforth’s illegal goat charms. I don’t know how much nastier you can get than screwing goats. Maybe that isn’t such a big thing in the wizarding world, when you have half-giants and half-goblins running around. But it puts a whole new light on the Blast-Ended Skrewts, doesn’t it?

Rita brings up a controversial take on the famous Grindelwald duel, declaring that Grindelwald basically gave up. I wonder if this is a dropped part of the story. Why make the duel controversial, unless it has some bearing on the Elder Wand storyline? But, since we never find out how the duel went down, this never really goes anywhere and just becomes part of the whole “Was Dumbledore Just a Big Phony?” debate.

Rita goes on to insinuating that there was something “sinister” in Dumbledore’s relationship with Harry. Not that gay = pedophile by any means, but this might have been a good place to bring up the fact that Dumbledore was gay. I find Rita rather restrained for not mentioning it.

Or maybe Doge should have, just to enhance Dumbledore’s awesomeness. After all, Dumbledore appears to be the only gay person in the entire history of Wizardry.

Revolted and repulsed, Harry balls up the newspaper and throws it with all his force at the bin. Bwahaha. Nothing funnier than someone trying to throw a balled-up newspaper with force. I think that’s the nerdiest thing Harry’s ever done.

In his rage, Harry picks up the fragment of mirror and sees a flash of blue—just like Dumbledore’s eyes! He is despondent at the thought that Dumbledore’s blue eyes will never pierce him again. But he does get the consolation of having the mirror cut his finger again as he picks it up. See? They did pierce you after all!

Fan Service:
Shout-outs to Draco’s badge from GoF and Ron’s Sneakoscope from PoA.
Sirius’s two-way mirror finally makes it return!
References to Dumbledore/Harry slash! (Should that be Humbledore?)

Fan Slappage:
No, Harry can’t use the mirror to communicate with Sirius in the afterlife.


DVD Extras:

INT. DAY – GREENHOUSE NUMBER ONE

A first-year student with a pock-marked face listlessly prunes a Flutterby bush. In the background, other students can be seen working on other bushes in groups of twos and threes.

A boy, wearing the Gryffindor colors approaches. The sun, shining behind this head, turns his red hair into a golden nimbus.

GRYFFINDOR
Hullo. You look as though you could use a partner. I’m Albus. Albus Dumbledore.

The listless student, ELPHIAS DOGE, squints up at Albus.

ELPHIAS
Elphias Doge. No one wants to work with me. They’re afraid I’m catching.

ALBUS
That’s silly. Dragon Pox is only contagious for the first two weeks.

He takes out a pair of secaturs and squats down. They begin working on the bush. After a moment:

ELPHIAS
Oh, I say! You’re Dumbledore. Is it true that your father is in Azkaban?

Albus nods.

ELPHIAS
I’m sure it wasn’t as bad as the papers made it sound.

ALBUS
It was.

ELPHIAS
Oh, sorry.

There is an awkward silence. Finally, Albus sits back on his heels:

ALBUS
Well, that’s a jolly good job, if I do say so myself.

They smile shyly at each other.

ALBUS (cont’d)
So… shall we go wank off behind the shed for a bit?

ELPHIAS
(beaming) Oh, I say! Rather!


FADE OUT

Comments

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

LOL! Excellent extra!

God, was it this early we started hearing about DD's life? I guess it makes sense. If she's going to put it in 8 more times she needs to start early and space them out.

It's funny the way Harry feels guilty for never much talking to DD about his past...as if he ever had a conversation where he really could have done taht...but he never feels guilty of, like, not wanting to actually spend time with Sirius before he died. Or, hell, feeling badly for getting Sirius to the MoM by accident.

The defeat of Grindelwald really goes nowhere. It occurs to me now that I wonder why Dumbledore just didn't have to defeat the guy since that would be all tragic. And also he would be symbolically defeating his own gayness.

I know people have claimed that Doge makes it clear that DD's gay, what with their trip planned, but JKR makes it pretty clear that DD was totally celibate forever so I doubt she's suggesting that here.

[jodel-from-aol.livejournal.com]

Oh, the defeat of Grindelwald is totally irrelevant to the *endgame* of settling the problem over Tom Riddle. But if you ignore the whole cult of Harry Potter, really ignore it, and dig into the backstory, it turns out to be potentially the hinge that the whole middle game turns on. Or at least can be fanwanked into reading like it. And for that to work you really do need that *stupid* Albus/Gellert imbroglio to be sitting in their mutual past.

Potentially it's a rather more interesting story than DHs. But it was effectively over by the time Tom got out of Dodge after killing Hepzibah and making off with her treasures. But Tom only has a cameo part in it, and Harry is not even a walk-on.

(I had fun with it in the 'O, the Times are Out of Joint!' essay. Nothing in it is proven -- but nothing is counter-indicated either I am pretty sure.)

[tdotm.livejournal.com]

"but he never feels guilty of, like, not wanting to actually spend time with Sirius before he died. Or, hell, feeling badly for getting Sirius to the MoM by accident."

Or not at least checking that DAMNED present that Sirius gave him in OotP, out of simple courtesy, even if he didn't plan to use it. Are there no 'Thank You' letters in the Wizarding World? Or at least not remembering that Sirius had given him something for exactly such an occasion when he was finally persuaded to try to contact Grimmauld Place before blundering into the Ministry like a brainless buffoon.

I honestly don't know why Sirius' spirit bothered to come back to accompany the little ingrate as he walked to his death.

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

If she's going to put it in 8 more times she needs to start early and space them out.

Ha. If by "spacing out," you mean "dump eleven pages of backstory here and several pages at time later on." I'm reading up to the next bit, and I realize that the first time I read this book, I mostly skipped the DD stuff because a) it's boring, and b) it felt like we got the whole "mystery" laid out in this chapter and none of the other backstory passages added anything.

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

And, by the way, did that stupid mirror ever serve a real purpose?

Certainly not an important one. The situation Harry was in when he used it was so common to adventure stories that it's not even fair to call it cliche. It's something that happens to every hero, and we've seen a million different solutions. So, if they hadn't had a magical shard of glass to call for help, something else would have happened. Maybe something more interesting--like Peter finally doing something to justify his existence.

Other than that, I suppose it helped Harry recognize Aberforth at Albus's brother from the eye color?

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

I didn't mind Dudley's conversion as much as I minded how it was depicted. When I read the book the first time, I sort of saw this ghostly through-line of reassessing characters. For example, the Malfoys are no longer so haughty and superior. They're just scared. The Dursleys are not quite as horrible as previously depicted.

But it's one of those things where you're not sure if it's there or whether you're just projecting what you want to be there, because Harry never seems to be re-evaluating the characters. And it makes you feel more sensitive than this "incredibly, OMIGOSH so-loving" Harry.

[mmmarcusz.livejournal.com]

I love the idea that Dudley put strychnine in the tea. Magic your way out of that one, Scarhead.

[violaswamp.livejournal.com]

No, Harry. Dudley isn’t your enemy. He’s your House Elf.

Bwahahaha!

Is this a boy thing?

I think it's JK Rowling's idea of a boy thing, yes. I don't think it's actually a boy thing. Most of my male friends are quite neat, neater than me, and I've only met a few people (male or female) who are tolerant of anything that could be called "mulch" in their possessions. But the sitcom idea of What Boys Are Like says that boys are hopelessly dirty, and that's what JKR likes.


Dumbledore’s defeat of Grindelwald is considered a turning point in wizarding history on a par with the enactment of the Statute of Secrecy or the downfall of Voldemort. Consequently, it was never included in the history class at Hogwarts.

Or, you know, in the first six books.

So, you know, asking personal questions isn’t Harry’s strong suit.

This was always the biggest weakness of the books for me--the sublime and inhuman incuriosity of Harry. Unbelievable, and it made Harry difficult to respect as a character even in his likable moments.

Maybe Rita Skeeter has class? Standards? Maybe she's actually a layered character, an interesting anti-heroine!

Nah.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

Rita's the closest thing to a 'career woman' (the archaic term totally fits the world!) in the Potterverse, and there doesn't even appear to be a man powering her fever for the job. (Although she herself is of course described as mannish. She worked so long her ovaries rotted!) Goes without saying she's evil.

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

I've only met a few people (male or female) who are tolerant of anything that could be called "mulch" in their possessions.

Exactly. When Harry had half-eaten apple cores strewn about his room in HBP, I took it for a sign of depression. But, unless he had depression for six years, I don't see how it could explain the mulch in his trunk. Plus, I'm sorry, I can't think of anyone in the world who wouldn't clean out their trunk thoroughly if it contained broken shards of glass.

[eir-de-scania.livejournal.com]

Is this a boy thing?

I think it's JK Rowling's idea of a boy thing, yes.

***Usually, boys have grown out of that stage at seventeen. It's not that uncommon in twelve-thirteen year old boys, I've learned from unhappy mums. ;-)

[horridporrid.livejournal.com]

Urgh! I'd forgotten how quickly this book just went terrible. :( That whole thing with the teacup... I remember being so confused about what the hell was going on with it. (Wasn't there some weird timing issues there? Harry's bleeding and then we go back to find out why or something? Even though the why was totally lame?)

Meanwhile, Hedwig is pretending to sleep because she hates Harry. I’m not making it up. That’s in the book.

I KNOW!! So weird since she's about to be totally dead. Hating Harry. How do you screw up the emotional pull of a pet's death? This is how.

Re the DVD extra: HAH! :D

[mary-j-59.livejournal.com]

Yes, but why wouldn't the poor creature hate Harry? He abuses her! He doesn't mean to, of course; it's just part of his self-absorption. He ignores her, keeps her locked up (as in the escape) when it would be safer for her to fly, doesn't clean her cage properly - and so on.

Rowling's having to kill Hedwig because she wanted Harry isolated was bad enough. The way she chose to do it just makes Harry look bad. If he had any thought at all for his pet and her safety, he would have let her fly free.

Even nastier, this emphasizes the idea that anyone - or any creature - who hates Harry will come to a bad end. Ugh.

I love the DVD extras, too.

[sunnyskywalker]

You'd think that given this cut and the impending Quest, Harry would at the very least plan to buy a book of first aid spells before setting out. Better late than never, right? But Harry can't make a decent plan to save his life.

I'd cut Dudley some slack, though - he's only been around Harry for what, a few months total in the last seven years? And much of that time Harry was locked in his room or something. All he knows is that Harry had good reason to be a jerk to him earlier, since he'd tormented Harry, and that Harry saved his life anyway. He's barely seen Harry at all since then and doesn't know what he's really like... I'd say that making Dudley, Designated Bully, better at reevaluating his opinions of people when new information comes up was a bad plan on Jo's part, but I don't think she realized what she was doing.

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

We don't know how the Harry/Dudley relationship looks from Dudley's perspective. As a younger child, I was acutely aware of every treat that my other siblings got and that I didn't. But I think it looks different from the perspective of the older child. Dudley may have considered Harry in much friendlier terms than Harry felt for him.

Heh. My family wasn't very physical, but my brother used sarcasm to bully us younger ones. It didn't mean he didn't love us. I don't think he even realized that it caused us pain.

loving these recaps

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

In OotP, he’s shaped up and he’s bullying other kids—but not Harry.

I always kinda liked Dudley (love the boxing champ leather jacket makeover, cracked me up) although obviously I understand how Harry's natural sense of justice would be repelled by beating up on people when you're older and have them outnumbered (Dudley for Gryffindor!); but it figures the 'well, he might not be Satan' revelation would suck, since JKR can't show someone as having even mildly positive attributes without having to metaphorically rim Harry.
(I love the part later where Petunia goes over the top praising Dudley for his little moment of niceness, ironically echoing the author and Harry.)

Rita goes on to insinuating that there was something “sinister” in Dumbledore’s relationship with Harry.

Evil people are homophobes, unlike good liberal people who say live and let live (sexlessly, anal squicks us.)
Also, journalists are always lying about innocent celebrities (I'M NOT NAMING NAMES HERE, BUT I FEEL JK ROWLING HAS SUFFERED NEEDLESSLY.)

Oh, and this charming hint at Teh Gay can be fitted in, but nothing positive in anyway, and since Dumbledore wouldn't just come out and say 'Harry, I am afflicted with same-sex cooties', there could be no possible way for an author to allow the audience the information, the same as we never found out the sexuality of Hagrid, Michael Corner, Zabini, Andromeda, Penelope Clearwater, Hannah Abbott, because they wouldn't have announced it and there was no point in the story to make it a plot...(the sexuality of babies not even born at this point in the story is also of paramount importance, as the epilogue shows.)

Re: loving these recaps

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

I understand how Harry's natural sense of justice would be repelled by beating up on people when you're older and have them outnumbered (Dudley for Gryffindor!)

I guess. But then you'd think he'd be repelled when magical people are beating up on Muggles, who have no defense. But maybe it's confused because, with the exception of the Muggles at the QWC, the only Muggles around to be victimized are the Dursleys.

[tdotm.livejournal.com]

- “ “Harry was bleeding.” Way to get our attention! Unfortunately, we’ll eventually find out that Harry is bleeding because he’s an idiot.”
At this point I vaguely remember not caring – I stopped liking Harry about 1000 pages ago. It didn’t bode well for the rest of the book, no matter how tension filled it might be (mwah!) if I didn’t like the protagonist at the start of the climax.

- I agree that Dudley had been neutralized by being the fall guy of various magical shenanigans. But even if he hadn’t, a cup of tea right outside the door wasn’t much of a trap – especially for someone who didn’t need to hide his bullying. The twins might do it for a laugh, then if caught could tell Molly they were only trying to be nice. Dudley could have thrown a grenade into Harry’s bedroom and if Vernon was at all bothered, it would only be because he'd need to re-decorate.

I would have preferred 1) the twins sneaking in to leave it there, 2) Dudley trying to pick on Harry, but forgetting how to be a real bully out of fear, or 3) Dudley throwing the grenade. The reality just confused me. Why did it take two years and one month for the fact that Harry saved him to sink in? Why had he not shown any gratitude/admiration before then? Especially in the month or so since Harry finished the 6th year. Or maybe he had and Harry just hadn’t noticed – how unaware of others could Harry be? (Answers on a postcard to Bloomsbury Publishing). If Dudley had to buy into the Harry love (and I’d rather he didn’t) It would have been better if Harry had noticed it gradually over the past month at least – JKR would have had to cut the teacup of inexplicable character change, but there was more of that on the way.

- “Even the narrator on Harry’s shoulder thinks he’s lame for never taking a Wizard’s First Aid class.”
I’m with you/him on that. If JKR had said that First Aid along with certain glamour spells are dangerous if they’re performed wrongly, I’d have bought that. If for that reason, they were taught in 7th year, when the pupils are of age, I’d have accepted that as well. That Plot Device Granger had read ahead, could be presumed. As JKR wrote it, it specifically made Harry look like a fool. Why would she do that? Why not say nothing at all, which would be an improvement?

Even worse, I vaguely remember that Harry performed a healing spell during a Quidditch match before. Am I wrong? Did JKR forget? Did she care? If Book 7 needed Harry being unable to do them, why not get Madame Hooch or even Hermione to perform the Healing spells previously? This just makes me mad, yet it’s so trivial! I need to pace my fury.

- “You know, I’m not trying to be mean about Harry” – Go right ahead.
“he is the hero” Mwah!
“and I’m trying as hard as I can to like him” It would help if you had programming, like the GinnyBot, it’s not going to happen through his actions or personality.

- Hey Harry, why not let Ron take Hedwig at the end of 6th year? Or at least ensure you finally let her fly free when things get dangerous. That said, the fate you condemned her to, is in my Top Five Deathly Hallow moments!

- The Mirror – nice idea, badly done. I'm sure I’ll say that again.

- This chapter starts with lots of little things that clash with things we’ve seen previously, followed by chat about Dumbledore that should have been cut by 66%. Still, at least Rita Skeeter’s assassination of Dumbles’ character is believable as something she’d do. I just don’t understand JKR’s determination to assassinate Harry’s character. It’s on a smaller scale in this chapter, but it’s been going on for books by now.

- Why are your piss taking extras better than the actual book?

[jodel-from-aol.livejournal.com]

Yeah. He mended Demelza Roberts's split lip during a Quidditch practice. Of course Rowling can't be expecetd to *remember* that. After all, she's a *famous author* and a worldwide *Celebrity*!

Pity she didn't at least have her secretary do it.

[lissa2.livejournal.com]

"Harry packs the Marauder's map, not that the map will have any purpose on his quest"
And It never even crossed his mind to give the map to Ginny, such a caring unselfish boyfriend.

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

Really. I mean, it's not like she's going to a school with Crucio-throwing Death Eater goons or anything.

[the-bitter-word.livejournal.com]

Even the narrator on Harry’s shoulder thinks he’s lame for never taking a Wizard’s First Aid class.

The narrator is obviously one of those logical Muggles, and even though not the kind that views everything Harry produces as solid gold, is still busy filling in tiny holes on his behalf. Seriously, though, why isn't there something like a Wizard Scouts Guide? That might be cool enough for Harry to read.

I wonder if Hogwarts had Home Economics/Domestic Science classes. Where do witches learn to wield their wands over pots?

Harry packs the Marauder’s Map, not that the map will have any purpose on his Quest.

Au contraire. The ability to look at Ginny's dot and feel truly sorry for himself? Priceless. (I thought, with the finale in the previous book, he'd be obsessively following Snape's dot, so the surprise for me -- well not so much of a surprise, really -- was Harry's complete inability to strategize, combined with severe attention deficit disorder. "He killed Dumbledore, and I'm going to... oh, I don't know... what was I talking about? Maybe I'll just sit here and watch Ginny's dot.")

Meanwhile, Hedwig is pretending to sleep because she hates Harry. I’m not making it up. That’s in the book.

Hedwig was no doubt the only witness to weeks of Harry's repeated CAPSLOCK OF RAGE and microseconds of self-blaming guilt. Can you blame her for turning her back? She'll get hers.

11 pages are filled with stuff about Albus Dumbledore’s life. Didn’t we have an entire chapter in the last book dedicated to his funeral? There wasn’t this much coverage of the John Kennedy assassination! (On the other hand, there was some effort to actually catch the man who murdered Kennedy, so maybe it balances out.)

Oh, it so doesn't balance out. Where were the friggin' Aurors? Dumbledore and Harry weren't that out of favor when the old coot was murdered. What was Snape doing before his appointment as Headmaster? Redecorating Grimmauld Place at his leisure?

Harry feels ashamed about how little he knew Dumbledore.

I feel ashamed at how much I know.

By the way, nobody in the U.S. would ever write an interview like this (what with the descriptions of Rita tossing her hair back and such). Is this a common style for British tabloids?

From the U.S. perspective, I've noticed lots of written interviews with women include comments on personal appearance and behavior, much more so than interviews with men. Why, some (admittedly amateur) interviews with JKR describe her having an evil look and a maniacal laugh. That's probably where she got the style.

Rita goes on to insinuating that there was something “sinister” in Dumbledore’s relationship with Harry.

Good instincts, that Rita. She probably had a line on the "intends for Harry to die" story. Probably through Snape, who talks in this sleep. (Nod to sydpad here.)

Revolted and repulsed, Harry balls up the newspaper and throws it with all his force at the bin. Bwahaha. Nothing funnier than someone trying to throw a balled-up newspaper with force.

I love your deleted scene. In mine, the newspaper flies off the rim of the bin and hits Hedwig on the head, causing her to launch a vicious attack on Harry. Fearing for his safety, he locks the owl in the cage. That will teach her.

In his rage, Harry picks up the fragment of mirror and sees a flash of blue—just like Dumbledore’s eyes!

Dumbledores are creepy voyeurs.

BTW, I saw Star Trek, and this (http://asylums.insanejournal.com/snapedom/217313.html) was the result. I loved the movie, but on reflection, found it bittersweet.

Edited for typo -- sorry.

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

I wonder if Hogwarts had Home Economics/Domestic Science classes. Where do witches learn to wield their wands over pots?

This is the mystery of the ages. Presumably purebloods learn from their parents, so Ginny should have a full set of wizard homemaking skills.

Hermione, however, will either need to designate Ron as the homemaker, or learn the Take Outis spell in order to summon curry from the closest Indian restaurant.

[eri1980b.livejournal.com]

This chapter just annoyed me, for ll the reasons everyones mentioned. Harry is filthy. I grew up with 2 teenage brothers, one was a neat freak (yeay) and the other one was a bit grubby but would never dream of leaving bird poo and apple cores all over the room. me and my sister have much lower standards of cleanliness but still wouldn't do this. It shows a lack of respect.

They learned no useful spells at Hogwarts? And they've been there six years? Either the standard of teaching has plummeted or they are all morons. You choose, but I know which way i am going.....

And I seriously don't care about Dumbledore's sexuality. Gay or straight, he's still a devious, unhelpful, self-rightious piece at the best of times.

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

It is really strange, but the spells they learn in class never do seem very practical. Hermione uses transfiguration to change Ron's face for the bank heist, but it's not something that you'd think would come in handy for anyone but a bank robber.

And making things levitate? Is that really something you'd do every day?

The spells they end up using all the time get learned outside of class, like Accio or Expelliarmus.

[eir-de-scania.livejournal.com]

I remember wondering, somewhere mid-series, if our Jo realised what she had gotten herself into. Here we have a newbie writer, with a story that would stretch over seven years, with a cast of thousands, many supposed to grow up from children to young adults. Then she was contracted by a publisher that a) hadn't much experience of children's/YA books and b)were happy to let their newbie writer do it all on her own.

Then, newbie writer becomes a worldwide success. Newbie writer under lots of stress. Third book crosses into YA territory. Happy publishers still leaves newbie writer to fend for herself.

And I'm just going WTF??!!?? This is just so unheard of. No writer I know about keeps the MS a closely guarded secret until TA-DAAAAH! it's left to the publisher's who does a quick check to see no rude things are included while being busy with scheduling as release date.

Instead, they have one or two trusted Beta readers, then the first draft is sent to the editor who sends it back with suggestions and questions, the writer works some more (or a lot more) on the MS, sends it back to the editor...Until it is deemed to fit for publishing, without too many contradictions and WTF moments.

Perhaps our Jo, being a newbie, thought working on her own was a great idea, I don't know. But it's beyond me why Bloomsbury thought so. Because the books sold billions anyway? Because it was a good marketing ploy?

Juist imagine what the books could have been if our Jo had worked with a good editor. Someone who knew were the whole story and what JKR was trying to achieve. Someone who could see her characters and their actions from the outside. Someone who could hepl newbie writer to crawl out of plot holes and avoid hurdles...

Now, a big part of the problem is that Jo created interesting, life-like characters but placed them in a children's book world. Then, not to ruin The Plot she had to let those characters act totally dumb. Especially her main characters. It didn't matter much in the first two books, but it started to grate in PoA, only to get worse in the rest of the series.

[jodel-from-aol.livejournal.com]

Actually, there are any number of editorial changes which *were* made to the first four books -- exactly as there ought to have been with a professional publishing house and a newbie writer. And the ones she lists on the official site were probably not the half of it.

But it's as if once Warners stuck their finger into the pie, the schedule became everything. Rowling *does* appear to have been left to write the book, turn in the manuscript and the publication date was generally set about 6 months later, which scarcely leaves time for basic proofreading.

I suppose they figured that they'd fix any problems in postproduction...

[night-axe.livejournal.com]

The first article, by Elphias Doge goes something like this: I met Dumbledore when he was eleven and it was awesome! He awesome to me and awesome to Muggles.

LOL. Is Doge's DD-worship supposed to be as nauseating as it comes across? I thought so, before realizing that a story about Harry by his friends would undoubtedly sound exactly the same.

Incidentally, I also thought "Elphias" was JKR-ese for Eliphas, as with Rabastan for Rastaban and Bartemius for Bartimeus, but apparently it's a real name.

Rita goes on to insinuating that there was something “sinister” in Dumbledore’s relationship with Harry. Not that gay = pedophile by any means, but this might have been a good place to bring up the fact that Dumbledore was gay. I find Rita rather restrained for not mentioning it.

Well, apparently his gayness only ever manifested as an unrequited crush on Grindelwald around 1901, and she can't bring that up without preempting her juiciest news. "Best mates with the previous Dark Lord" trumps "in love with another man". Hinting at Dumbledore/Harry (Dumbarry?) is probably her way of preparing the ground.