Deathly Hallows Chapter 2
May. 19th, 2009 04:23 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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deathtocapslockDeathly Hallows: Chapter 2
In Memoriam
This chapter starts with the bang-o sentence: “Harry was bleeding.” Way to get our attention! Unfortunately, we’ll eventually find out that Harry is bleeding because he’s an idiot.
Humorously, Harry steps on a teacup placed just outside his room. I think it would have been funnier if Harry had been barefoot. Then he’d be bleeding in two places and he’d have to hop to the bathroom. Then, maybe he could lose his balance on the slippery tiles and end up with his head in the toilet. I’m really surprised Rowling missed his opportunity.
Instead, Harry merely picks up the pieces of broken teacup and throws them into a bin, speculating that the cup is Cousin Dudley’s “clever” idea of a trap.
I’d like to take a moment here to comment on Dudley’s devolution as a villain in the series. In PS/SS, Dudley was mercilessly beating on Harry and terrorizing all the other kids at school from even considering Harry as friend material. He was then punished with by karma and Hagrid with a pig’s tail. And after that he… what does he do, exactly? Nothing much to Harry as I recall. In CoS and PoA, he’s just there, enjoying the adoration of adults who dislike Harry. In GoF, he’s fat. In OotP, he’s shaped up and he’s bullying other kids—but not Harry. In HBP, his only crime is to refuse an alcoholic drink (which, in our country would be considered responsible behavior for an underage boy).
So, in DH, Dudley is reduced to placing teacups outside Harry’s door in a vain attempt to express his admiration. Something which Harry, who is apparently blind to Dudley’s actual mindset, interprets as a hostile action. No, Harry. Dudley isn’t your enemy. He’s your House Elf.
But, then Harry is distracted by the thought that he has four whole days until he can do magic. Not that his magic can heal anything. Even the narrator on Harry’s shoulder thinks he’s lame for never taking a Wizard’s First Aid class.
That should have been one of the elective courses, don’t you think? They could have called it the “Spells That Aren’t as Flashy as Turning Hedgehogs into Pin Cushions But a Whole Lot More Useful” class.
As for me, I’m distracted with wondering why Dudley didn’t set the teacup on an end table or something. Or maybe knock on the door so that Harry would get the tea before it got cold. But then, he’s never been portrayed as being very clever.
You know, I’m not trying to be mean about Harry... he is the hero and I’m trying as hard as I can to like him, but I can’t get over this next bit. We’re told that in six years, Harry’s never really unpacked his trunk completely, but always left a layer of “mulch” at the bottom. Is this a boy thing? I’m a really messy person, but I unpack my bags when I get home. And, if there’s broken glass in it, I clean it out. Even if it means lugging in the vacuum cleaner to my room. It’s not like I have this handy little stick on me at all times that will magically clean stuff.
Also, if I cut myself on something embedded in “mulch,” I put Bactine on the cut. Or iodine. Or clean it out with alcohol. Just because you’re a wizard doesn’t mean you can’t get infected.
Oddly, Harry thinks that his uncle and aunt will probably burn his things in the middle of the night, because they are so anti-magic. He’s obviously forgetting that his aunt and uncle are supposed to leave in an hour or so for parts unknown. The last thing they’d do is lug his stuff along with them for the pleasure of setting it on fire.
Among the things Harry is leaving behind are his school robes. What he’s keeping is his Muggle clothing. This sounds like he might be thinking of hiding out in the Muggle world. Or, that Rowling has finally owned up to the fact that Wizard clothing is stupid.
Harry packs the Marauder’s Map, not that the map will have any purpose on his Quest.
He also packs a small fragment of mirror (which he cut his finger on) and the locket which “cost” Dumbledore’s life. It seems that Harry values things by how much pain they have caused him. Or by how important they are to eventually wrapping up the plot in a surprising twist!
Meanwhile, Hedwig is pretending to sleep because she hates Harry. I’m not making it up. That’s in the book.
Hehe. Harry finds the newspaper he was looking for by remembering the short mention of Charity Burbage’s resignation on the front page. Too late, J.R! You’re placing the Chekhovian gun on the mantelpiece after it was fired!
In my book, this chapter takes up approximately 16 pages. Of those, 11 pages are filled with stuff about Albus Dumbledore’s life. Didn’t we have an entire chapter in the last book dedicated to his funeral? There wasn’t this much coverage of the John Kennedy assassination! (On the other hand, there was some effort to actually catch the man who murdered Kennedy, so maybe it balances out.)
The first article, by Elphias Doge goes something like this: I met Dumbledore when he was eleven and it was awesome! He awesome to me and awesome to Muggles. He was an awesome student and when we graduated, we were going to go on an awesome trip! But his mom died, so he didn’t go. But he was still awesome! He went on to get an awesome job as a teacher! Then he had an awesome duel and even more awesomely turned down the job as Minister of Magic! Wasn’t he awesome?
Dumbledore’s defeat of Grindelwald is considered a turning point in wizarding history on a par with the enactment of the Statute of Secrecy or the downfall of Voldemort. Consequently, it was never included in the history class at Hogwarts.
Harry feels ashamed about how little he knew Dumbledore. I think Harry’s giving himself a bum rap here. He tried to ask a personal question once when he was eleven and even then he could tell Dumbledore was lying.
Besides, Harry never even asked anyone about his parents. Nor does he know the names of Hermione’s parents. So, you know, asking personal questions isn’t Harry’s strong suit.
Then, Harry notices that Rita Skeeter is being interviewed about her upcoming book on Dumbledore’s life. Feeling the need to become enraged, he decides to read through a six-page article of “lies” about his beloved mentor.
By the way, nobody in the U.S. would ever write an interview like this (what with the descriptions of Rita tossing her hair back and such). Is this a common style for British tabloids?
Rita promises her readers that there’s a lot of nastiness in the Dumbledore family—much worse that Aberforth’s illegal goat charms. I don’t know how much nastier you can get than screwing goats. Maybe that isn’t such a big thing in the wizarding world, when you have half-giants and half-goblins running around. But it puts a whole new light on the Blast-Ended Skrewts, doesn’t it?
Rita brings up a controversial take on the famous Grindelwald duel, declaring that Grindelwald basically gave up. I wonder if this is a dropped part of the story. Why make the duel controversial, unless it has some bearing on the Elder Wand storyline? But, since we never find out how the duel went down, this never really goes anywhere and just becomes part of the whole “Was Dumbledore Just a Big Phony?” debate.
Rita goes on to insinuating that there was something “sinister” in Dumbledore’s relationship with Harry. Not that gay = pedophile by any means, but this might have been a good place to bring up the fact that Dumbledore was gay. I find Rita rather restrained for not mentioning it.
Or maybe Doge should have, just to enhance Dumbledore’s awesomeness. After all, Dumbledore appears to be the only gay person in the entire history of Wizardry.
Revolted and repulsed, Harry balls up the newspaper and throws it with all his force at the bin. Bwahaha. Nothing funnier than someone trying to throw a balled-up newspaper with force. I think that’s the nerdiest thing Harry’s ever done.
In his rage, Harry picks up the fragment of mirror and sees a flash of blue—just like Dumbledore’s eyes! He is despondent at the thought that Dumbledore’s blue eyes will never pierce him again. But he does get the consolation of having the mirror cut his finger again as he picks it up. See? They did pierce you after all!
Fan Service:
Shout-outs to Draco’s badge from GoF and Ron’s Sneakoscope from PoA.
Sirius’s two-way mirror finally makes it return!
References to Dumbledore/Harry slash! (Should that be Humbledore?)
Fan Slappage:
No, Harry can’t use the mirror to communicate with Sirius in the afterlife.
DVD Extras:
INT. DAY – GREENHOUSE NUMBER ONE
A first-year student with a pock-marked face listlessly prunes a Flutterby bush. In the background, other students can be seen working on other bushes in groups of twos and threes.
A boy, wearing the Gryffindor colors approaches. The sun, shining behind this head, turns his red hair into a golden nimbus.
GRYFFINDOR
Hullo. You look as though you could use a partner. I’m Albus. Albus Dumbledore.
The listless student, ELPHIAS DOGE, squints up at Albus.
ELPHIAS
Elphias Doge. No one wants to work with me. They’re afraid I’m catching.
ALBUS
That’s silly. Dragon Pox is only contagious for the first two weeks.
He takes out a pair of secaturs and squats down. They begin working on the bush. After a moment:
ELPHIAS
Oh, I say! You’re Dumbledore. Is it true that your father is in Azkaban?
Albus nods.
ELPHIAS
I’m sure it wasn’t as bad as the papers made it sound.
ALBUS
It was.
ELPHIAS
Oh, sorry.
There is an awkward silence. Finally, Albus sits back on his heels:
ALBUS
Well, that’s a jolly good job, if I do say so myself.
They smile shyly at each other.
ALBUS (cont’d)
So… shall we go wank off behind the shed for a bit?
ELPHIAS
(beaming) Oh, I say! Rather!
FADE OUT
In Memoriam
This chapter starts with the bang-o sentence: “Harry was bleeding.” Way to get our attention! Unfortunately, we’ll eventually find out that Harry is bleeding because he’s an idiot.
Humorously, Harry steps on a teacup placed just outside his room. I think it would have been funnier if Harry had been barefoot. Then he’d be bleeding in two places and he’d have to hop to the bathroom. Then, maybe he could lose his balance on the slippery tiles and end up with his head in the toilet. I’m really surprised Rowling missed his opportunity.
Instead, Harry merely picks up the pieces of broken teacup and throws them into a bin, speculating that the cup is Cousin Dudley’s “clever” idea of a trap.
I’d like to take a moment here to comment on Dudley’s devolution as a villain in the series. In PS/SS, Dudley was mercilessly beating on Harry and terrorizing all the other kids at school from even considering Harry as friend material. He was then punished with by karma and Hagrid with a pig’s tail. And after that he… what does he do, exactly? Nothing much to Harry as I recall. In CoS and PoA, he’s just there, enjoying the adoration of adults who dislike Harry. In GoF, he’s fat. In OotP, he’s shaped up and he’s bullying other kids—but not Harry. In HBP, his only crime is to refuse an alcoholic drink (which, in our country would be considered responsible behavior for an underage boy).
So, in DH, Dudley is reduced to placing teacups outside Harry’s door in a vain attempt to express his admiration. Something which Harry, who is apparently blind to Dudley’s actual mindset, interprets as a hostile action. No, Harry. Dudley isn’t your enemy. He’s your House Elf.
But, then Harry is distracted by the thought that he has four whole days until he can do magic. Not that his magic can heal anything. Even the narrator on Harry’s shoulder thinks he’s lame for never taking a Wizard’s First Aid class.
That should have been one of the elective courses, don’t you think? They could have called it the “Spells That Aren’t as Flashy as Turning Hedgehogs into Pin Cushions But a Whole Lot More Useful” class.
As for me, I’m distracted with wondering why Dudley didn’t set the teacup on an end table or something. Or maybe knock on the door so that Harry would get the tea before it got cold. But then, he’s never been portrayed as being very clever.
You know, I’m not trying to be mean about Harry... he is the hero and I’m trying as hard as I can to like him, but I can’t get over this next bit. We’re told that in six years, Harry’s never really unpacked his trunk completely, but always left a layer of “mulch” at the bottom. Is this a boy thing? I’m a really messy person, but I unpack my bags when I get home. And, if there’s broken glass in it, I clean it out. Even if it means lugging in the vacuum cleaner to my room. It’s not like I have this handy little stick on me at all times that will magically clean stuff.
Also, if I cut myself on something embedded in “mulch,” I put Bactine on the cut. Or iodine. Or clean it out with alcohol. Just because you’re a wizard doesn’t mean you can’t get infected.
Oddly, Harry thinks that his uncle and aunt will probably burn his things in the middle of the night, because they are so anti-magic. He’s obviously forgetting that his aunt and uncle are supposed to leave in an hour or so for parts unknown. The last thing they’d do is lug his stuff along with them for the pleasure of setting it on fire.
Among the things Harry is leaving behind are his school robes. What he’s keeping is his Muggle clothing. This sounds like he might be thinking of hiding out in the Muggle world. Or, that Rowling has finally owned up to the fact that Wizard clothing is stupid.
Harry packs the Marauder’s Map, not that the map will have any purpose on his Quest.
He also packs a small fragment of mirror (which he cut his finger on) and the locket which “cost” Dumbledore’s life. It seems that Harry values things by how much pain they have caused him. Or by how important they are to eventually wrapping up the plot in a surprising twist!
Meanwhile, Hedwig is pretending to sleep because she hates Harry. I’m not making it up. That’s in the book.
Hehe. Harry finds the newspaper he was looking for by remembering the short mention of Charity Burbage’s resignation on the front page. Too late, J.R! You’re placing the Chekhovian gun on the mantelpiece after it was fired!
In my book, this chapter takes up approximately 16 pages. Of those, 11 pages are filled with stuff about Albus Dumbledore’s life. Didn’t we have an entire chapter in the last book dedicated to his funeral? There wasn’t this much coverage of the John Kennedy assassination! (On the other hand, there was some effort to actually catch the man who murdered Kennedy, so maybe it balances out.)
The first article, by Elphias Doge goes something like this: I met Dumbledore when he was eleven and it was awesome! He awesome to me and awesome to Muggles. He was an awesome student and when we graduated, we were going to go on an awesome trip! But his mom died, so he didn’t go. But he was still awesome! He went on to get an awesome job as a teacher! Then he had an awesome duel and even more awesomely turned down the job as Minister of Magic! Wasn’t he awesome?
Dumbledore’s defeat of Grindelwald is considered a turning point in wizarding history on a par with the enactment of the Statute of Secrecy or the downfall of Voldemort. Consequently, it was never included in the history class at Hogwarts.
Harry feels ashamed about how little he knew Dumbledore. I think Harry’s giving himself a bum rap here. He tried to ask a personal question once when he was eleven and even then he could tell Dumbledore was lying.
Besides, Harry never even asked anyone about his parents. Nor does he know the names of Hermione’s parents. So, you know, asking personal questions isn’t Harry’s strong suit.
Then, Harry notices that Rita Skeeter is being interviewed about her upcoming book on Dumbledore’s life. Feeling the need to become enraged, he decides to read through a six-page article of “lies” about his beloved mentor.
By the way, nobody in the U.S. would ever write an interview like this (what with the descriptions of Rita tossing her hair back and such). Is this a common style for British tabloids?
Rita promises her readers that there’s a lot of nastiness in the Dumbledore family—much worse that Aberforth’s illegal goat charms. I don’t know how much nastier you can get than screwing goats. Maybe that isn’t such a big thing in the wizarding world, when you have half-giants and half-goblins running around. But it puts a whole new light on the Blast-Ended Skrewts, doesn’t it?
Rita brings up a controversial take on the famous Grindelwald duel, declaring that Grindelwald basically gave up. I wonder if this is a dropped part of the story. Why make the duel controversial, unless it has some bearing on the Elder Wand storyline? But, since we never find out how the duel went down, this never really goes anywhere and just becomes part of the whole “Was Dumbledore Just a Big Phony?” debate.
Rita goes on to insinuating that there was something “sinister” in Dumbledore’s relationship with Harry. Not that gay = pedophile by any means, but this might have been a good place to bring up the fact that Dumbledore was gay. I find Rita rather restrained for not mentioning it.
Or maybe Doge should have, just to enhance Dumbledore’s awesomeness. After all, Dumbledore appears to be the only gay person in the entire history of Wizardry.
Revolted and repulsed, Harry balls up the newspaper and throws it with all his force at the bin. Bwahaha. Nothing funnier than someone trying to throw a balled-up newspaper with force. I think that’s the nerdiest thing Harry’s ever done.
In his rage, Harry picks up the fragment of mirror and sees a flash of blue—just like Dumbledore’s eyes! He is despondent at the thought that Dumbledore’s blue eyes will never pierce him again. But he does get the consolation of having the mirror cut his finger again as he picks it up. See? They did pierce you after all!
Fan Service:
Shout-outs to Draco’s badge from GoF and Ron’s Sneakoscope from PoA.
Sirius’s two-way mirror finally makes it return!
References to Dumbledore/Harry slash! (Should that be Humbledore?)
Fan Slappage:
No, Harry can’t use the mirror to communicate with Sirius in the afterlife.
DVD Extras:
INT. DAY – GREENHOUSE NUMBER ONE
A first-year student with a pock-marked face listlessly prunes a Flutterby bush. In the background, other students can be seen working on other bushes in groups of twos and threes.
A boy, wearing the Gryffindor colors approaches. The sun, shining behind this head, turns his red hair into a golden nimbus.
GRYFFINDOR
Hullo. You look as though you could use a partner. I’m Albus. Albus Dumbledore.
The listless student, ELPHIAS DOGE, squints up at Albus.
ELPHIAS
Elphias Doge. No one wants to work with me. They’re afraid I’m catching.
ALBUS
That’s silly. Dragon Pox is only contagious for the first two weeks.
He takes out a pair of secaturs and squats down. They begin working on the bush. After a moment:
ELPHIAS
Oh, I say! You’re Dumbledore. Is it true that your father is in Azkaban?
Albus nods.
ELPHIAS
I’m sure it wasn’t as bad as the papers made it sound.
ALBUS
It was.
ELPHIAS
Oh, sorry.
There is an awkward silence. Finally, Albus sits back on his heels:
ALBUS
Well, that’s a jolly good job, if I do say so myself.
They smile shyly at each other.
ALBUS (cont’d)
So… shall we go wank off behind the shed for a bit?
ELPHIAS
(beaming) Oh, I say! Rather!
FADE OUT
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no subject
Date: 2009-05-20 12:14 pm (UTC)At this point I vaguely remember not caring – I stopped liking Harry about 1000 pages ago. It didn’t bode well for the rest of the book, no matter how tension filled it might be (mwah!) if I didn’t like the protagonist at the start of the climax.
- I agree that Dudley had been neutralized by being the fall guy of various magical shenanigans. But even if he hadn’t, a cup of tea right outside the door wasn’t much of a trap – especially for someone who didn’t need to hide his bullying. The twins might do it for a laugh, then if caught could tell Molly they were only trying to be nice. Dudley could have thrown a grenade into Harry’s bedroom and if Vernon was at all bothered, it would only be because he'd need to re-decorate.
I would have preferred 1) the twins sneaking in to leave it there, 2) Dudley trying to pick on Harry, but forgetting how to be a real bully out of fear, or 3) Dudley throwing the grenade. The reality just confused me. Why did it take two years and one month for the fact that Harry saved him to sink in? Why had he not shown any gratitude/admiration before then? Especially in the month or so since Harry finished the 6th year. Or maybe he had and Harry just hadn’t noticed – how unaware of others could Harry be? (Answers on a postcard to Bloomsbury Publishing). If Dudley had to buy into the Harry love (and I’d rather he didn’t) It would have been better if Harry had noticed it gradually over the past month at least – JKR would have had to cut the teacup of inexplicable character change, but there was more of that on the way.
- “Even the narrator on Harry’s shoulder thinks he’s lame for never taking a Wizard’s First Aid class.”
I’m with you/him on that. If JKR had said that First Aid along with certain glamour spells are dangerous if they’re performed wrongly, I’d have bought that. If for that reason, they were taught in 7th year, when the pupils are of age, I’d have accepted that as well. That Plot Device Granger had read ahead, could be presumed. As JKR wrote it, it specifically made Harry look like a fool. Why would she do that? Why not say nothing at all, which would be an improvement?
Even worse, I vaguely remember that Harry performed a healing spell during a Quidditch match before. Am I wrong? Did JKR forget? Did she care? If Book 7 needed Harry being unable to do them, why not get Madame Hooch or even Hermione to perform the Healing spells previously? This just makes me mad, yet it’s so trivial! I need to pace my fury.
- “You know, I’m not trying to be mean about Harry” – Go right ahead.
“he is the hero” Mwah!
“and I’m trying as hard as I can to like him” It would help if you had programming, like the GinnyBot, it’s not going to happen through his actions or personality.
- Hey Harry, why not let Ron take Hedwig at the end of 6th year? Or at least ensure you finally let her fly free when things get dangerous. That said, the fate you condemned her to, is in my Top Five Deathly Hallow moments!
- The Mirror – nice idea, badly done. I'm sure I’ll say that again.
- This chapter starts with lots of little things that clash with things we’ve seen previously, followed by chat about Dumbledore that should have been cut by 66%. Still, at least Rita Skeeter’s assassination of Dumbles’ character is believable as something she’d do. I just don’t understand JKR’s determination to assassinate Harry’s character. It’s on a smaller scale in this chapter, but it’s been going on for books by now.
- Why are your piss taking extras better than the actual book?
no subject
Date: 2009-05-20 03:55 pm (UTC)Pity she didn't at least have her secretary do it.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-21 04:20 pm (UTC)I’m with you/him on that. If JKR had said that First Aid along with certain glamour spells are dangerous if they’re performed wrongly, I’d have bought that. If for that reason, they were taught in 7th year, when the pupils are of age, I’d have accepted that as well. That Plot Device Granger had read ahead, could be presumed. As JKR wrote it, it specifically made Harry look like a fool. Why would she do that? Why not say nothing at all, which would be an improvement?
I don't know, but she keeps on doing it throughout this book. It's like even she can't believe how stupid her main character has gotten.
And yes, Harry learned "Episkey' from Tonks in HBP. He later used it to heal the broken nose of one of the chasers (I guess it was Demelza?)
I need to pace my fury.
Definitely. This book is the Tour de France of fan outrage. This discrepancy is another thing I missed in the Fan Slappage count!