Deathly Hallows Chapter 12

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

Finally! I tell you, this chapter was nearly the death of me!


Magic Is Might

The narrator sprite on Harry’s shoulder decides to take a holiday during August and goes to stay with the Muggle neighbors.

I think the reason for this is that Hermione was practicing her mind spells on it, because it not only doesn’t recognize the signature cloaks of the Death Eaters, but it can’t even remember those Death Eaters it has previously been introduced to. So, Dolohov becomes “the one with the twisted face” and Peter Petigrew becomes “his podgy, pallid companion.”

Fortunately, however, the narrator sprite manages to catch onto Harry’s briefly exposed elbow and we get to rejoin the Trio as they plan to infiltrate the Ministry of Magic in search of the locket Horcrux.

First, however, Harry brings us the news that… sorry, that’s second. The first thing that happens is that Harry has to sit through the wards the Moody set up to annoy Snape should he ever show up. Stupid wards.

Secondly, Harry must encounter Kreacher, who is now clean, neat, and happy. The moral here is clear. If you want your servants to do their jobs, give them worthless trinkets.

Thirdly, Harry delivers the news (on September 1st) that Snape has been confirmed as the Headmaster of Hogwarts. I’m sure most fans were horrified that evil old Snape was now Headmaster. Me, I was horrified that he didn’t get confirmed until the kids arrived. How is he supposed to review lesson plans, or schedules? Inconsiderate!

Hermione realizes that Phineas Nigelllus could spy on them for Snape and sticks his portrait in her purse—thereby ensuring that Snape will be able to spy on them later on.

Kreacher is now serving delicious French onion soup to his master. French cuisine. How Edwardian.

Ron and Harry grouse about Snape for a moment and then sort of commiserate on missing the fun of going to Hogwarts, where they could join Ginny, Neville, and Luna in uncivil disobedience. Yeah, that Snape.. He’s so terrible! Wish we could be under his thumb!

Harry mentions that he nearly slipped when he landed on the front stoop. Ron is careful to let Harry know that he’s worse than Harry and does it all the time. Thus he fulfills his duty as the Trio member who makes Harry look good.

The Trio discuss their plans to infiltrate the Ministry of Magic. The plan—Omigod, never mind what it entails. It’s completely stupid and boring. The Trio are planning this thing like it’s Ocean’s Eleven. Except for the fact that the Ocean’s gang had a plan that involved doing things after they got into the front door.

Also, this is I think a writing thing. If you are going to write a heist, then you need to let the reader in on it. We get a lot of details that don’t mean anything, like that you need tokens to get into the Ministry, and that Dolore’s office is on Level One. Yawn. Before I can care, I need to know what the Trio plans to achieve with this super-dangerous mission. All I really know is that they want to get the locket from Dolores and common sense tells me she’s more likely to store that in her home than in her office.

So, are they going for the locket or for her address? Cause I’ll bet they could get the address from Arthur or Kingsley Shacklebolt.

Oh well, time for another Voldievision! This is the vision of Voldemort looking for Gregorovitch, finding instead a mother and children and killing them all. Since we know already that Voldemort is looking for Gregorovitch, and we know that Hermione thinks Harry ought to use Occlumency, the only nugget of information this particular vision imparts is the notion that Lily’s mother-love, in and of itself, is not enough to decorporalize a wizard.

The other thing that happens is that Harry makes a choice to disregard Dumbledore’s instructions, when he tells Hermione that he’s going to use his Voldemort connection to find out why Voldemort is seeking Gregorovitch. If there’s any significance to that, it’s beyond me.

Next day, the heist begins!

As I glean from their actions, the Trio’s plan consists of stealing the identities of three different Ministry employees, Mafalda Hopkirk, Reg Cattermole, and Albert Runcorn. They are clever enough to use three different methods to prevent these people from entering the Ministry, but I can think of a cleverer plan right off the bat: Don’t send three people, send one person with the invisibility cloak. Three people just means more chances of screwing up.

By the way, Reg Cattermole (as others have noted) has an interesting name, literature-wise. In Gaudy Night, a mystery by Dorothy L. Sayers, Reg Pomfret was a puppyish Oxford student who developed a crush on Harriet Vane (Lord Peter Wimsey’s eventual wife). When he gets over her, he starts a relationship with Cattermole (first name unknown), a young female student. I’d be willing to bet that Reg and Mary Cattermole are an homage to Sayers—who subverted the Mystery genre very nicely in her books.

Was anyone rolling on the floor laughing when Reg started vomiting on Hermione/Mafalda’s shoes? I get the impression that it’s supposed to be a comic moment, but the only time I ever found vomit humor funny was during that scene in Monty Python’s Meaning of Life.

Due to increased security, most employees cannot floo directly to the Ministry, but must enter through a public toilet and then flush themselves down the loo. I imagine that this public toilet must have acquired quite a reputation in London by now, what with the masses of cloaked men who enter it and then stay for hours before leaving. In the sixties, that sort of thing would get one arrested.

After gaping at the new, fascist-style statuary in the atrium, Harry is beckoned by “a wispy little witch and the ferrety wizard from Magical Maintenance.” Apparently Hermione has been practicing her memory charms on Harry, too, since he cannot recognize his best friends with whom he parted only thirty seconds earlier.

Gotta give JKR props for the statue though, it’s pretty horrifying.

Ron is stopped by Death Eater cum Minister Yaxley, who demands that Ron fix his office. He also threatens “Reg’s” wife, Mary, who has been called in for questioning by the Muggle-born Commission. Upshot? The fate of an innocent woman rests on Ron’s ability to fix magical plumbing. She’s doomed.

Hermione’s advice? Finite Incantatem. You know. That spell they learned second year from Snape. Seems as though Yaxley should have been able to figure that one out by himself. Oh well, maybe he’s too important to mutter a few words in order to fix it.

Hermione, trying to coach Ron on how to fix the office as they ride up the elevator is very reminiscent of her trying to coach Neville into making his Shrinking Solution back in third year.

JKR neatly sets another Chekhovian gun in place when a junior Minister winks at Harry and thanks him for doing something awful to Dirk Cresswell (from the Goblin Liaison office). Dirk Cresswell, we might remember (although after all those memory charms, Harry will not), was one of Slughorn’s favored students.

The lift opens to dramatically reveal Dolores Umbridge, chatting with Minister of Magic Pius Thicknesse. With that, the chapter thankfully comes to a close.

It occurs to me that this “hesist” is a place where Lupin would have come in handy. He spent a year in meetings where the Order went over the blueprints for the Ministry. He probably did his share of guarding the Prophecy under Moody’s extra invisibility cloak. So, he’d be able to give the Trio a lot of useful information on how to get in and out of the place. Of course, Tonks would be even more useful, if she weren’t in confinement.


Fan Service:
Mafalda Hopkick! In the flesh!
Dirk Cresswell! We are well rewarded for the hours we spent memorizing random names mentioned in earlier books.

Fan Slappage:
Those who thought Harry was going to get smarter in this book were sadly mistaken.

DVD Extras:
INT: DAY -- MINISTRY OF MAGIC, MAGICAL LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICE

MINISTER YAXLEY is packing up his briefcase held by his assistant, PERCY WEASLEY.

YAXLEY
I’ll be at this meeting for the rest of the day. Make sure that memo gets to Runcorn and then go get me that report from Azkaban. I’ll expect it on my desk by tomorrow morning.

PERCY
Yes, sir.

Yaxley closes his briefcase and makes for the door, colliding with a YOUNG WITCH holding a sheaf of parchments.

WITCH
New list of suspects to—oof!

YAXLEY
Out of my way! Talk to Weatherby about that!

Yaxley rushes out the door. The witch turns to Percy, smoothing her robes down.

WITCH
Weather—oh! I know you. You were Head Boy at Hogwarts.

PERCY
Right. Percy Weatherby.

He shakes her hand.

WITCH
I thought your name was Weasley.

PERCY
Yes. Minister Crouch used to forget my name and call me Weatherby. It became a big joke and everyone started doing it. Then they forgot my real name. It’s easier this way.

WITCH
I see. Well, can you please sign for these?

PERCY signs the receipt in triplicate, smiling at the way the witch is playing with her hair.

PERCY
There you go.

WITCH
See you round… Weatherby!

She smiles and sashays out the door. Percy turns to follow, but his eye is caught by the sheaf of parchments now lying on the Minister’s desk.

INSERT : PILE OF PARCHMENT
The top piece shows a picture of Arthur Weasley, looking shifty and worried. In large type, the words WANTED FOR QUESTIONING appear above his face.

CUT TO;

PERCY’S FACE

He gazes down silently at the parchement. He reaches out a hand to take it, but then draws his hand back. Thoughts play over his face as he considers his options.

Percy steps backward, raising his wand, which transforms into an umbrella. As he holds it above his head, a light shoots out the point of it.

The light reaches the ceiling of the office and explodes into rolling grey clouds. Within seconds, a downpour starts, raining down everywhere in the office, except for the exact spot where Percy is standing beneath the shelter of the umbrella.

Percy continues to gaze at the parchment. The black ink on the picture of Arthur begins to bleed, dissolving in the water until the entire pile is a soggy mess.

Percy steps carefully to the door, picking through the water puddles. He steps through the door, closing the umbrella and shaking it free of water. By the time he is completely through the door, the umbrella has transformed back into a wand.

Percy nods officiously at the wizards working in the outer office and heads down the hallway, whistling softly to himself.

FADE OUT

Comments

[eri1980b.livejournal.com]

This was the chapter that killed it for me. They had weeks to plan....and this was the best they could come up with? Ok, so there's an element of chance in everything, but I do think they were beyond lucky when Umbridge turns out to have worn the horcrux to work that day. I would say it was more likely that it would have been at home.

Agree with you on Lupin, he would be especially useful here. In fact, why didn't Harry think on his feet and say "No, don't come with us but seeming as we're going no further than about a mile for the 1st trip we could make use of you, but you must stay with Tonks".

There doesn't seem to be a plan for afetrwards does there? And why does nobody suggest popping in at Tesco's on the way home? Shopping too mundane JKR?

Lastly, I feel sorry for Ron in this chapter. The other two get to be all daring and go after the horcrux. He gets the maintenance task. One wonders what is job is at Weasleys Wizard Wheezes; does he do the cleaning, shelf stacking or work in the warehouse?

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

I know. Ron always gets the idiot work. He is like Xander from Buffy, except that Xander actually got to be good at the grunt work.

For example, had the Scooby Gang been doing this stupid heist, Xander might have been goofing up all the way through, but he would have been the one to remember they needed to stop at the store on the way home for chips and salsa.

[violaswamp.livejournal.com]

Plus, Xander got to have "emotional intelligence"--which he sometimes used in a cruel and self-righteous way, but at many crucial moments he used it to save the day. Most dramatically of all at the end of S6.

[aasaylva.livejournal.com]

So, Dolohov becomes “the one with the twisted face” and Peter Petigrew becomes “his podgy, pallid companion.”
You mean the brunet Gryffindor seeker with emerald orbs thought so?

How is he supposed to review lesson plans, or schedules?
You really imagine Dumbledore ever gave a flying f**k for lesson plans? That would have meant his approval of blast-ended skrewts... So all Snape had to do for the start of term was thinking up a welcome speech (which I'd love to have heard...).

Except for the fact that the Ocean’s gang had a plan that involved doing things after they got into the front door.
Must have been Slytherins.

...get the locket from Dolores and common sense tells me she’s more likely to store that in her home than in her office.
That's because you have progressed from primary school level and caught onto the fact, that teachers do not actually live in the school and thus, ministry employees do not dwell in the ministry.

This is the vision of Voldemort looking for Gregorovitch, finding instead a mother and children and killing them all.
Which again gives us insight into the author's weird idea of geography when once again Slavic people (Gregorovitch, like formerly Karkaroff and Krum) are somehow the same as German (the woman, the name of Durmstrang, reputedly made up by juggling the words "Sturm und Drang". Sigh. Everything east of the Rhine is Russian!

...flush themselves down the loo.
Don't you just love Rowling's anal sense of humour?

In the sixties, that sort of thing would get one arrested.
Admit it, you've been thinking of the basketball diaries here!

[tdotm.livejournal.com]

Methinks that the Ministry should have fallen at Christmas, not in August. Scrimgeour could have appointed Umbridge Minister of Education, and she in turn appointed Snape Headmaster. Nobody told the authorities that Snape killed Dumbles (not that they were interested).

With the Death Eaters not present, the Trio could have gone back to school. Then we could have *seen* the attempts to undermine Snape, who for all his loyalty to Lily would make Harry's life hell. The Trio could be involved in constantly trying to get the sword and Dumbledore's Army - vigilante version. They could aquire the locket from Umbridge on one of her visits and take it down to the Chamber of Secrets and destroy it. All that sitting around in a tent not knowing what to do, could have happened at Hogwarts with all the more interesting characters around them to pass the time.

This book could have been interesting!

[seductivedark.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking the Ministry should have fallen in OotP and the Final Battle should have taken place at the end of that book. What we've got with the last three books is filler waiting for the Showdown that should have taken place a lot sooner after Voldy rose again.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

I'm picturing just tiny cuts to school with Neville, bruised and bloody and coughing from smoke, yelling orders to his loyal band.

Then we cut back to the tent.

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

You really imagine Dumbledore ever gave a flying f**k for lesson plans? That would have meant his approval of blast-ended skrewts... So all Snape had to do for the start of term was thinking up a welcome speech (which I'd love to have heard...).

But... the Headmaster has to do something, doesn't he? What was all that moaning about the difficulty of reconciling Firenze and Trelawney that Dumbledore did? And don't tell me that Snape thought up hiring the Carrows. Not his style. Not his style at all.

That's because you have progressed from primary school level and caught onto the fact, that teachers do not actually live in the school and thus, ministry employees do not dwell in the ministry.

You'd think that Ron would have told them that Arthur kept his cufflinks and watch at home....

In the sixties, that sort of thing would get one arrested.
Admit it, you've been thinking of the basketball diaries here!

Actually, I was thinking more of Prick Up Your Ears and a story I heard about Sir John Guilgud, who, shortly after becoming a knight, was arrested in a public bathroom for indecent behavior. He was starring in a play at the time (when was he not starring in a play?) and everyone was extremely embarrassed when he finally came in to rehearsal the next day.

Fortunately, one of the actors was this grande old dame, complete with the fruity Victorian voice. She went up to Guilgud, took one of his hands, and slapped him smartly on the wrist. "Naughty boy!" she exclaimed.

After that, everything was all right.

[mmmarcusz.livejournal.com]

Which again gives us insight into the author's weird idea of geography when once again Slavic people (Gregorovitch, like formerly Karkaroff and Krum) are somehow the same as German (the woman, the name of Durmstrang, reputedly made up by juggling the words "Sturm und Drang". Sigh. Everything east of the Rhine is Russian!

Another example: Antonin Dolohov. "Antonín" (note accent) is a Czech name, but "Dolohov" is Russian.

[artystone.livejournal.com]

OMG I hated this book.

Sorry, I know that's not very eloquent, but really!

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

The thing is, I think I know what JKR is trying to do here. She wants us to experience the Orwellian nightmare of a government gone bad. If you're drawing on WWII as your inspiration, you have to touch on that, because it was a huge part of the horror of what happened in Germany.

And the stuff within the Ministry isn't that bad.

But, in order to get the Trio into the Ministry, she has to pile contrivance upon contrivance. And she either glided over the fact that the Trio has no real business being there--or she didn't realize it herself.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

That was my feeling too, that unfortunately she was trying to go Orwellian without realizing that it didn't *really* fit her own style, which she wanted to keep. I mean, WWII *wasn't* 1984. So just adding little touches to the basic Hope & Glory homefront life didn't work. It works with Orwell because his state really does control everything, including the minds of the beaten down public.

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

That and Orwell was a great writer at the height of his talent.

And he has something to say.

I know we've discussed this before, but in 1948, Orwell was seeing that nightmare as an all-too possible future and wrote to warn the world about what could happen. The story wasn't about Winston Smith, but about the danger of allowing government to control every aspect of our lives.

HP, on the other hand, is very much about one little boy who saves the world by giving up his life. Only not really, because he lucked out. JKR's Orwellian nightmare ends up being just a backdrop. When Voldemort is dead, all these employees who torture Muggle-borns go right back to their normal duties.

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

Thanks for letting me you know you enjoyed the DvD extra. Sometimes that part takes longer than the rest of the chapter. Although, not this time, because what took the longest was having to wade through pages of meaningless details about the plan... when there was no plan!

I first got the idea of Percy or Arthur setting off the rain early in the week, but I didn't like the idea of them doing it just as a lark. It was too much what the twins would do. It was when I thought up a reason for Percy to do it that the scene came together.

And I agree with you about Snape! To my mind, one of the worst things about DH is the near total lack of Snape. Both Lupin and Snape are the best of the adult characters. Put them together and you get gold every time. Take them out, and the energy of the story just flatlines.

Maybe that's one of the reasons I get so mad at Harry for rejecting Lupin's help.

[jodel-from-aol.livejournal.com]

I also enjoyed the DVD extra. I even have a publication up on Red Hen now that stars that Percy.

[tdotm.livejournal.com]

- “not only doesn’t recognize the signature cloaks of the Death Eaters, but it can’t even remember those Death Eaters it has previously been introduced to.”

Personally I think JKR would guzzle a bottle of wine, give it an hour and then start writing, knocking back a second bottle as she went. How else can she have no idea of what had previously happened in her own books - in the *same* book? I know her editors(!) were obviously too awed to correct the rubbish plot, and disastrous characterisation, but little things like this (or Lupin’s total contradiction of the 7 Potters chapter re: tracing apparition) which would just involve amending a couple of lines and should have been caught. I actually get offended by the lack of respect for the audience. I’m cross now, and the chapter hasn’t started.

- “Hermione realizes that Phineas Nigelllus could spy on them for Snape and sticks his portrait in her purse—thereby ensuring that Snape will be able to spy on them later on.”

I might have imagined it, but aren’t the portraits of previous Headmasters magically obliged to be loyal to the current ones? Hermione should read ‘Hogwarts a History’ for once. It’s a shame Harry didn’t think of it and stick the portrait in Hermione’s bag when she was elsewhere. It’d be in character for him.

- “Oh well, time for another Voldievision!"

Oh please! The suddenly reactivated link to Voldemort in DH was rubbish. The only time that sort of made sense was at Godric’s Hollow. Voldemort was communicating with another carrier of a fragment of his soul who was in the same room as Harry – that’s fair enough, as long as it didn’t go too far over the top. Which it did. Also, when Voldemort realised that the cup had gone missing, I could accept a burst of real anger that Harry could sense. The rest was just Harry getting relevant information and should have been woven into the story differently or cut. I suppose JKR was just preparing us for Retardo-Voldie as seen at the Battle of Hogwarts. Someone who, upon realising that the cup was stolen, started going around checking the other ones, then raced Harry to Hogwarts when they all were missing. Wouldn’t you just kill the first Muggle (or close colleague going by his usual attitude) and create a new one, *before* you confronted your arch enemy?

- “Don’t send three people, send one person with the invisibility cloak.”

No – send Dobby/Kreacher and their different untraceable magic under the Invisibility Cloak and cut this whole scene - House Elves could probably apparate in unnoticed. Ssomeone could just tell them about the statue, the only part worth keeping. I’d rather Kreacher betray the Trio and there was a big fight in Grimmauld Place meaning the Trio had to go on the run than this RUBBISH.

- “but must enter through a public toilet and then flush themselves down the loo.”

Ha Ha Ha! Really, this idea is so foolish, like the vomit on Mafalda’s shoes. It worked slightly better in the film, with McClaggen vomiting on Snape’s shoes – I wonder who inspired who. JKR’s once charming humour deteriorated badly in this book – Snape shaped hole anyone?

- “JKR neatly sets another Chekhovian gun in place when a junior Minister winks at Harry and thanks him for doing something awful to Dirk Cresswell {who} was one of Slughorn’s favored students.”

You see? YOU SEE?! She can do it if she wants to! It’s like mentioning Sirius early in Philosopher’s Stone. I can’t forgive her for her endless inconsistencies when she can still do this sort of thing with ease on other occasions. Aaaarrrggghhh!

Great DVD Extra, better than the actual film I'm sure. Percy should have been an Order spy, starting with warning Dumbles that Harry's trial in OotP was brought forward. Then Harry would be *forever* beholden to him. Hurrah!

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

I’m cross now, and the chapter hasn’t started.

Hehe. I feel like that every chapter!

I might have imagined it, but aren’t the portraits of previous Headmasters magically obliged to be loyal to the current ones?

Yes. I think it was even Phineas Nigellus who had to be reminded of that in OotP.

No – send Dobby/Kreacher and their different untraceable magic under the Invisibility Cloak

Well, that would have been smarter still. They could have simply sent Kreacher to get the locket from Dolores and instructed him to not let himself be seen. It only took Kreacher a few days to find and kidnap Mundungus Fletcher. It probably would have taken him less than a week to get the locket. Geez!

Percy should have been an Order spy, starting with warning Dumbles that Harry's trial in OotP was brought forward.

I've always liked the idea of Percy the Spy.

[kitrinlu.livejournal.com]

I choose to believe that Percy was a spy, and JKR just didn't tell us. If Dumbledore can be gay without any mention of it on paper, Percy can darn well be a spy! :D

[jodel-from-aol.livejournal.com]

Or at least trying to limit what damage he could.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

So Kreacher can whip up gourmet meals without shopping. Tell me again why they couldn't just call him and give their orders when they're sitting in the tent?

The plan to infiltrate the Ministry just sums up the problem of the whole premise here, doesn't it? People might complain at teenagers being so superpowered as to be able to win a war. JKR makes her teenagers kind of dumb (even Hermione) and everybody still trusts them to win a war for them. Seriously, how could you only discuss breaking into the place without the first idea what you were going to do once you got in there?

The should have contacted the team from Leverage or something. They would have already found out Delores' address and searched that house and found out where she kept her locket at that point.

Gotta give JKR props for the statue though, it’s pretty horrifying.

Again, it really sums up the book. The original statue that represented the status quo, a status quo defended and reinstated by our heroes, is only inoffensive compared to this.

Also, how is it that still nobody's believing that Voldemort has returned? I mean, even if he hadn't literally returned, clearly Voldemort-ism has returned. This book makes it apparent, if it wasn't already, that the only thing wrong in these books is Voldemort the guy.

JKR neatly sets another Chekhovian gun in place when a junior Minister winks at Harry and thanks him for doing something awful to Dirk Cresswell (from the Goblin Liaison office). Dirk Cresswell, we might remember (although after all those memory charms, Harry will not), was one of Slughorn’s favored students.

So...what's the Chekhovian gun? Or is this a Rowling gun--less like a shotgun and more like one of those toy guns that shoot out a cloth that says REMEMBER?

So, he’d be able to give the Trio a lot of useful information on how to get in and out of the place. Of course, Tonks would be even more useful, if she weren’t in confinement.

The list of "people who would have been useful here" is about 3 feet long!

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

Tell me again why they couldn't just call him and give their orders when they're sitting in the tent?

Supposedly because Yaxley could follow Kreacher. Which he could only if he was physically attached to Kreacher. The Trio were afraid that there was a Death Eater assigned to hug Kreacher at all times, lest he Apparate away.

Seriously, how could you only discuss breaking into the place without the first idea what you were going to do once you got in there?
This way leads to madness. I know, having gone through this chapter. The plan is so dumb. Super Mega Dumb. Once you start picking holes in it, there's just no stopping.

The original statue that represented the status quo, a status quo defended and reinstated by our heroes, is only inoffensive compared to this.

But in OotP, we were told by Dumbledore--voice of moral integrity!--that the statue represented all that was wrong with Wizard society. Both GoF and OotP seemed to be preaching a world view of cooperation and need to unite, rather than segregate members of the world. Why did that suddenly become irrelevant in DH?

So...what's the Chekhovian gun? Or is this a Rowling gun--less like a shotgun and more like one of those toy guns that shoot out a cloth that says REMEMBER?

Sort of. Dirk Cresswell will show up later on the run. But you might have forgotten him, since he does absolutely nothing.

The list of "people who would have been useful here" is about 3 feet long!

Including Arthur Weasley, who works at the Ministry and could at least tell them how to get someone's address, if he couldn't get it himself. They actually see him going in and out of the Ministry, but think it's too dangerous to talk to him. Which is just nuts. How hard would it be to sidle up to him in the cloak and whisper to him to meet them at the coffee shop around the corner.

Or heck, have him Apparate to 12 Grimauld Place. As long as he lands in the right spot, no one would see him come or go.

[oryx_leucoryx]

Supposedly because Yaxley could follow Kreacher. Which he could only if he was physically attached to Kreacher. The Trio were afraid that there was a Death Eater assigned to hug Kreacher at all times, lest he Apparate away.


Except we know this does not apply to house-elf Apparition. Because in COS Harry is holding Dobby in the hospital wing while Dobby Apparates away, leaving Harry behind. Calling Kreacher would only have been a problem if Kreacher had *wanted* to bring someone hostile along.

[tdotm.livejournal.com]

- "So Kreacher can whip up gourmet meals without shopping. Tell me again why they couldn't just call him and give their orders when they're sitting in the tent?"

Don't get me started. Just. Dont.

- "The list of "people who would have been useful here" is about 3 feet long!"

Arthur had been working there for about 30 years - and HE STILL WAS. He'd probably have been able to aquire the hairs of people who he knew wouldn't be in that day, or who had jobs that didn't involve special maintanence skills, or who weren't involved in sensitive day to day work or who worked in isolation so wouldn't come across someone who'd be suspicious of out of character behaviour etc etc.He'd also be able to hand over small paragraphs describing the characters and responsibilities of those being impersonated.

Better still, he'd have been able to keep an eye on Umbridge himself for a few weeks until she *actually wore* the locket, (as opposed to invading the Ministry on the off-chance she had it on) then called Dobby who could sneak it off her. Or he could knock her out with a discreet sleeping charm and take it himself, then call Dobby to dispose of it. 20 mins later, Hermione could have transfigured the old locket to look like Slytherin's, and handed it to Dobby to drop back in her office without her noticing...(They'd have to give Kreacher another gift - as long as it wasn't an item of clothing!)

The list of alternative sub-plots is about 30 feet long....

[eir-de-scania.livejournal.com]

Secondly, Harry must encounter Kreacher, who is now clean, neat, and happy. The moral here is clear. If you want your servants to do their jobs, give them worthless trinkets.
***Yes, if Sirius had realised that, he'd still live, with a happy slave ready to fix sandwiches any time of the day. Instead, he thought Kreacher meant what he said, about Sirius breaking his mothers heart, and that Kreachers behaviour towards him indicated true hatred. Thinking the house elf had human feelings, really. Shame on him. *headdesks JKR*

[violaswamp.livejournal.com]

...yeah. That storyline of Kreacher's wasn't well thought through at all.

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

Elves have human feelings. Just four-year-old human feelings. Maybe they're like chimpanzees, which are cute and funny until they reach age six, and then they get powerful and mean and have to be shipped off to old chimpanzee refuges.

Or, failing that, get their heads cut off.

[violaswamp.livejournal.com]

Miss Cattermole from Gaudy Night does have a first name: Violet.

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

Really? I forgot that completely. In fact, I remember puzzling over it when I was reading the book. Wow. She didn't seem like a Violet,

There goes my homage theory!