Jumping Ship from the Lily's Pad

[oneandthetruth.livejournal.com]

On Saturday night I was catching up on reading DTCL and came across a post from terri_testing about why so few people claim James and Lily as friends. (posted 8/6/12, in reply to “Lupin’s ‘Resignation’,” by danajsparks) Part of it reads: 

What did happen to those witch friends Lily had in fifth year, the ones who couldn't understand why she even talked to Severus, the ones she sat and chatted with after the DADA OWL? Did their jealousy over the Mudblood scooping the Head Girl position (and the most eligible Pureblood bachelor) separate them? Were they naturally driven apart by diverging life paths caused by Lily's extremely early settling into marriage and motherhood while her friends all pursued careers....? 

Or there's always the solution I proposed in my abusive!James fic "Liberacorpus," that James had taken the precaution of sleeping his way through all of Lily's friends, so as to alienate them from her.... 

This got me to thinking: Maybe Lily’s friends were alienated, not by her good fortune or by James, but by Lily herself. I see two possibilities, both of which reflect badly on her and which are not mutually exclusive:

1) It’s certainly possible Lily’s friends were jealous because she got to be Head Girl and caught Big Wizard on Campus James. But under normal circumstances, friends get over such things. 

At least, they would have unless Lily rubbed their faces in her triumphs. If she bragged about how lucky she was, or how her success was proof of her greatness, particularly since she was a latecomer to the wizarding world, that would alienate anyone who wasn’t a complete doormat.

Of course, there is no proof Lily did that. But this kind of behavior accords with the assertion some people, most notably marionros, have made about Lily’s being a narcissist. Narcissists love to brag about themselves anyway (think Dumbledore in King’s Cross), and a triumphant narcissist would be worse than normal.

Such boasting is also compatible with the behaviors we see from Lily that indicate she had a poor character. For example, she was somewhat contemptuous and superior towards Severus, such as when she ordered him around, dismissed his feelings and concerns, or automatically took other people’s versions of events over his. 

She also exhibited a sadistic streak by using her magic to scare and torment Petunia. This is the moral equivalent of having your friends hold somebody while you punch them, or shoving over someone in a wheelchair, then laughing when they can’t get up.

No wonder she walked off and left her “best friend” to be attacked. She was doing the same thing outside of school herself, and to her own sister, who could not fight back. Which brings me to my next point. 

2) The other possibility for why Lily’s friendships ended may impart to her schoolmates a level of perspicacity they didn’t possess, but it’s an interesting idea anyway.

Lily may have bragged to or joked with her friends about using her magic to torment Petunia. I would never want to be friends with a person who was debased enough to attack her own family for entertainment.  

Regarding Severus, while Lily’s friends were no doubt happy to see her dump the greasy Slytherin, they may not have liked the way she did it. Initially, they just would have been happy he was gone, but over time, they may have become uncomfortable with her actions.

This was a boy Lily had known for six years, since she was nine. Her friends may have known she’d told Severus they were “best friends.” She had refused to break off their friendship for years, despite pressure from her House to dump him.

Then one day, he slipped up and insulted her while under extreme stress. And that was it. She literally turned her back on him and left him while he was helpless, to be assaulted by a ruthless gang of thugs. 

Severus didn’t just apologize for insulting her. He actually groveled to her, begging her forgiveness, risking his safety in the process. (Every time I think about this scene, I hear the Temptations singing, “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg.”) Yet she refused to even accept his apology, let alone have anything to do with him again.

If Lily was a prefect, her behavior was even worse. Regardless of her feelings for the victim, it was her duty to protect someone from being assaulted, especially by a group of attackers. She failed to do the job she’d been chosen for, to live up the obligation she’d accepted. This makes her nothing but a prettier, spunkier version of Remus the Spineless because they both allowed their personal feelings to prevent them from doing their duty.

I can’t help comparing Lily and Remus as prefects with the black American soldiers who served in World War II. These men fought and died for their country, even though they had been the victims of vicious racism at home and knew they would be again once the war was over. They realized many of the people they were fighting for were disgusting bigots who didn’t consider them fully human. They usually weren’t even allowed to serve in the same units as white soldiers. Many of them were only a few years older than Lily and Remus. Yet despite all that, they put their sense of duty ahead of their personal feelings and risked their lives for all Americans, regardless of how loathsome many individuals were. That is why they are now considered groundbreaking heroes. 

Imagine having Lily as a comrade in the Order. You will go into battle with her and trust her with your life. You’ll expect her to have your back, no matter what. 

What if you say or do something wrong while under pressure? How do you know that, when you need her the most, she won’t turn her back on you, too, and leave you at the mercy of your enemies? If she could do that to someone she’d been friends with almost half her life, why wouldn’t she do it to you as well?

Would you trust someone like that in battle?

I wouldn’t. 

  

Comments

[aikaterini.livejournal.com]

/She was standing there arguing with James instead of disarming him and undoing his hexes./

And that’s why the revelation of Lily and Severus being best friends in DH was such a surprise. Not only did Lily not act as if she knew Snape personally, she didn’t even behave as if he was there at all! Her whole focus during the scene was on James. It was as if she’d caught James bullying Severus, Severus had run away, and then Lily had confronted James, instead of Lily confronting James and having a long argument with him while Snape was *still there.* Instead of both Lily and James treating Snape like he was a background prop, not worthy of their attention.

Again, if Draco had done the same thing to Harry and Hermione had rushed to the scene, how many people believe that she would have ignored Harry’s predicament in favor of arguing with Draco, then telling Draco to put Harry down instead of doing it herself, and then continuing to ignore Harry in favor of arguing with Draco?

/If she was going to use Severus' humiliation to mentally bat her eyelashes at James then yes, he had no need for her 'help'./

Or for her “friendship.”

[oneandthetruth.livejournal.com]

/If she was going to use Severus' humiliation to mentally bat her eyelashes at James then yes, he had no need for her 'help'./

Or for her “friendship.”

What's really sad about this is that he was so lacking in self-respect he didn't realize that. Not then, and not ever.

Not consciously, anyway. I wonder, though, if maybe subconsciously he had a lot of hostility towards her for the way she'd treated him. Maybe Harry's having Lily's eyes was negative as well as positive, whether or not Snape realized it.

[condwiramurs.livejournal.com]

I have thought the same thing for a while now. But after Halloween it would be near impossible for him to acknowledge any anger towards her to himself - because of the guilt over her death, but also because he would need IMHO to believe in her as an ideal figure to whom he could devote himself in penance, as a way of subconsciously motivating himself to see his task through. Acknowledging that she was not perfect and had treated him badly, acknowledging anger at her, would threaten to make everything too complicated emotionally for him to deal with at a point when he didn't have the space or support to actually work things through for himself, and when he would feel the need for a simple/simplistic world in which he has a defined task and a defined role as repentant sinner. (I guess the whole Lily issue plays heavily into why I read him as essentially a Catholic figure, but that's a bit of a tangent).

But yes, I do see unacknowledged mixed feelings about her playing into his relationship with Harry - who for all the times he behaves like James also echoes Lily often as well. Take for example the scene in the Hall in PS/SS when Harry's scar hurts. I'd say that seeing a look of pain/anger (the two can look similar) directed at him by Lily's eyes in James' face would immediately trigger a whole host of negative feelings in Severus, not all of which he would feel able to acknowledge or process. Not a great first impression of Harry for him, no matter how mistaken the mix-up originally was. (BTW, is there ever a hint that Severus ever learned that Harry was reacting to his scar there, not so much any preconceived ideas about Severus himself?)

[hwyla.livejournal.com]

And just THINK how Snape might take this with the knowledge we now have that he KNEW Petunia and she highly disliked him! I cannot imagine (now that we know about their childhoods) that Snape would NOT think Petunia had been bad-mouthing Snape for years to Harry - possibly with family photos, so Harry would recognize him. WE know this didn't happen, but I can certainly imagine Snape would believe it did.

[condwiramurs.livejournal.com]

Oh, certainly he'd believe/suspect it. And given what he knew of Petunia's history (the letter and desire to go to Hogwarts), I don't think he'd necessarily imagine that Petunia might treat Harry badly *because of his magic*. But yeah, seeing that expression directed at him by Harry combined with his suspicions about Petunia bad-mouthing him he'd be primed to think that Harry came in hating him - ironically.