A bit late.

[jollityfarm.livejournal.com]

But you know you don't mind :) I know you'll all be out of the woodwork for chapter five, which features the incomparable Ginny. But right now, it's Super-Sluggy!

*It's true, Apparition does sound like a back-to-the-womb/rebirth scenario. Being forced through a very tight rubber tube? Mmm-hmm.

*Maybe Lord Voldemort was also hoping not to see into Harry's angst-ridden teenage brain. Just as well he won't be looking later on in the story, when Harry has significant dreams about Ginny. I don't know about you, but that'd piss me right off although Voldemort's had Ginny more intimately than Harry, haha.

*Budleigh Babberton sounds like it's also in the Westcountry. Very similar to the name of a real place.

*Very annoyed at Dumbledore not telling Harry what's going on at once. Whyever not? Oh yes, drama and all that, but "Oh, I think we'll find a use for you" is a bit...well, you know :(

*So yeah, we're not supposed to Apparate into a wizard's house because that would be rude, but it's okay to barge into the Dursley household because...oh yes, they're rude already, and deserved it by treating Harry badly blah blah. It's always correct and right to sink down to the level of people you deem to be unworthy.

*Surely Harry would have heard of zombies? Surely he would have said of the Inferi, "Sounds a bit like zombies, sir, like in Dudley's Zombie BrainFest IV Playstation thing (as a completely off-topic aside, what does Dudley do when he needs an opponent for two-player games? Does he demand one of his mates comes round or something? Because I'm sure we'd all agree that Harry wouldn't be allowed to touch the console in case he gave it fleas, so does Dudley just play against the computer? Must get boring)

*Maybe the armchair was breathing. Or maybe there's a special way to tell the difference between real chairs and chair disguise. Anyway, totally not going into the wand-poke there.

*Dumbledore is tall and thin, while Sluggy is both short and round. Fat, also. Let's not forget about the fat. We certainly won't be neglecting to mention the fat. The fat will be gone into at regular intervals in case we are in danger of forgetting about the fat. Fat fat fat fat fat.

*Hmm, short legs that don't touch the floor. I am suddenly reminded of a certain D. Umbridge. I wonder if they're related. Maybe she's his sister. Or daughter O_O I guess he must be pretty old to have been teaching fifty years previously. We don't know how old either of them are supposed to be, mind. But I digress.

*Oh I see. Never liked Dolores Umbridge. Doesn't stop her being a relative, of course :) Or an ex...sorry. I'll leave it there.

*Blah blah Lily blah blah charming blah blah brightest ever blah blah vivacious blah blah ooh I've just come. Stupid Lily-Sue :(

*Slughorn doesn't want to risk dying, so he needs to be mocked? Right-O. If Sluggy wasn't such a Lily fanboy and obviously wanking under his desk about his faves, I'd like him for this alone. Don't want to die? Perfectly sensible in my opinion.

*Oh shut up, Dumbledore, with your fake-eccentric "Ooh, I love knitting patterns, me!" shite. It's actually not endearing in the slightest, because anyone with half a brain knows you're just being condescending.

*Harry and Sirius didn't have a long and happy relationship. They barely knew one another. Harry might be angsting about it, but that's just another form of self-pity in my opinion. "Lying on his bed refusing meals"? Oh shut up.

*So Harry's not to tell anyone - like Neville, for example - about the prophecy. You think Neville mightn't have wanted to know? It could have been him. But I forget, Neville isn't S-P-E-S-H-U-L. Neville's parents weren't so 1337 as Harry's and Neville wouldn't have been able to defeat Voldemort like the wonder that is Harry. Oh, but he's allowed to tell Ron and Hermione. Because that means they'll be able to do shit together. Oh yes. For crying out loud.

*In the meantime, Harry and Dumbledore are standing talking in a cramped outhouse. Why? We may never care.

Comments

[kryptyd.livejournal.com]

You know, I thought people were being a bit paranoid about the existence of Lily-Sue until Slughorn came along. But there she is, and she makes me want to barf. What is it about JKR that makes her think that we'll like characters simply by having other characters lavish extravagant praise on them? Just like with another special red-head - grrrr.

Despite this (and the obvious creepiness of his "little parties") I quite like Slughorn.

[anaid-rabbit.livejournal.com]

Blah blah Lily blah blah charming blah blah brightest ever blah blah vivacious blah blah ooh I've just come. Stupid Lily-Sue :(

I find myself having as little patience for Perfect Lily as I have for Grrl Powerz Ginny by now. I find them both equally irritating - if there were any more MWPP era flashbacks in this book I would have ODed on Sue.

Slughorn doesn't want to risk dying, so he needs to be mocked?

He`s a COWARD for not wanting to die. Worst crime ever. As Sirius so wisely reminded Peter everyone must be ready to die or be wounded horribly in face of torture/mortal danger - or else you`re nothing but a slimy, disgusting COWARD. And we can`t have that. Not in this idiotic warrior culture.

[q-spade.livejournal.com]

Just as well he won't be looking later on in the story, when Harry has significant dreams about Ginny. I don't know about you, but that'd piss me right off although Voldemort's had Ginny more intimately than Harry, haha.

So Rowling says Ginny "isn't possessed" by Voldemort, and...you know what? I can come around to her way of thinking on this. It's not as if Ginny has any monsters churning in HER gut whenever Thee Chosen One!11 comes around, eh?

Honestly, I still don't buy that this Harry/Ginny nonsense has NOTHING to do with Tom Riddle or the Chamber of Secrets whatsoever. Bollocks. It's got EVERYTHING to do with Tom/Voldemort and what happened to Harry & Ginny second year – that's my tinfoil hat speculation and I'm sticking to it. ;)

Dumbles tells Harry in this chapter that Voldemort is using Occlumency against him; this doesn't necessarily mean that Voldemort's not poking around in Harry's wrinkly brain! bits and making things happen. It more likely means that Dumbles can't use Harry to see what Voldemort is possibly up to.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Maybe Lord Voldemort was also hoping not to see into Harry's angst-ridden teenage brain. Just as well he won't be looking later on in the story, when Harry has significant dreams about Ginny. I don't know about you, but that'd piss me right off although Voldemort's had Ginny more intimately than Harry, haha.

Voldemort drops the ball again here. *This* would be an excellent use of his fake-vision powers. He could slip into Harry's wet dreams and reveal to him that he likes boys.

Actually, knowing Harry, I can imagine that if you actually asked him about his dreams it would turn out that it was Ginny, but Ginny for some reason actually looked like Cedric, Sirius, Malfoy or Riddle.

Maybe the armchair was breathing. Or maybe there's a special way to tell the difference between real chairs and chair disguise. Anyway, totally not going into the wand-poke there.

Would have been nice if he'd just poked a few chairs before he found the right one. Though I guess he just looked for the fattest piece of furniture, because I believe Slughorn is a bit on the flabby side.

So Harry's not to tell anyone - like Neville, for example - about the prophecy. You think Neville mightn't have wanted to know?

Even when Harry's staring at Neville having Deep Philosophical Thoughts about this it doesn't cross his mind that Neville could know.

Also, I hate Lily. Have you noticed that when JKR creates a girl character taht "everyone" should like she's hated by much of fandom and is never shown to have any actual girlfriends? When she creates an actual popular girl who has friends she's a villain like Pansy.

[shadefell.livejournal.com]

Dumbledore is tall and thin, while Sluggy is both short and round. Fat, also. Let's not forget about the fat. We certainly won't be neglecting to mention the fat. The fat will be gone into at regular intervals in case we are in danger of forgetting about the fat. Fat fat fat fat fat.

Remember: "fat" is short hand for "bad." Vernon and Dudley Dursley are both fat, as is Umbridge and that Slytherin girl Milicent whose last name I can't remember. Crab and Goyle are also fat. "Plump" and "curvy" aren't fat, though. Remember that.

The Lily worship was very strong in this book. Maybe Ginny is Lily reincarted? It would explain a lot. Actually, what might be interesting is if Ginny and Harry have a baby boy and then when he's a year old they're killed fighting Voldemort, and the story happens all over again.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

I don't know about you, but that'd piss me right off although Voldemort's had Ginny more intimately than Harry, haha.

Heh.
Someone actually suggested recently that Rowling won't let Harry maybe die a virgin, so there'll be euphemisms etc. to suggest that...um, he won't. The stomach roils.

It's always correct and right to sink down to the level of people you deem to be unworthy.

Yup, you can even start being a jerk first, and then defend yourself on the grounds of the person being such a meanie. (It was counter-rudeness! I'm sure they would have hexed me first if they'd had the chance! etc.)

Does he demand one of his mates comes round or something?

Dudley's got a whole gang, iirc. Cause he's cool, yo. (No, really. Dudley's one of the only realistic teenagers in the books, imho. Hanging around the streets in his leather jacket, smoking. ;)

"Sounds a bit like zombies, sir, like in Dudley's Zombie BrainFest IV Playstation thing"

Harry is a quaintly old-fashioned chap from a good family, he's far too intelligent for all this modern rubbish (not like you can buy a Harry Potter video game, after all! ...Oh, wait.) That, and he's Ever So Victimised and probably hasn't been within ten feet of the screen, woefulharrycakes...

Blah blah Lily blah blah charming blah blah brightest ever blah blah vivacious blah blah ooh I've just come. Stupid Lily-Sue :(

Note she's like, sassy and cheeky and stuff! Girl power!
And she apparently didn't like Slytherin, either! Even better.

Slughorn doesn't want to risk dying, so he needs to be mocked?

I love Harry's 'Ugh, the shallowness of those valuing possessions (and the comparison - he'd have thought Slughorn's place belonged to a woman: horrors!) and fame.' I suppose he'll be auctioning off his super Firebolt to the poor?
That, and it's easy not to care about connections when you already have a trillion. Sure isn't Harry referring to himself as the Chosen One later or anything!

Oh shut up, Dumbledore, with your fake-eccentric "Ooh, I love knitting patterns, me!" shite.

WORD.

Harry might be angsting about it, but that's just another form of self-pity in my opinion. "Lying on his bed refusing meals"? Oh shut up.

Hee! My favourite thing about that is that the Dursleys probably didn't notice, depriving him of the oxygen of attention. EVEN BIGGER WOE!

Neville's parents weren't so 1337 as Harry's and Neville wouldn't have been able to defeat Voldemort like the wonder that is Harry.

I guess Neville was just an inferior baby. Even at one, Harry was more loveable and stronger than anyone else. *vomits*
I like how JKR said in her lameass interview how she'd tried to show how Harry had grown, since in OotP, he was all embarrassed to be seen with Luna and Neville, whereas in HBP, he's more subtly embarrassed considering Neville to unimportant to tell such a vital detail about his own life to patronisingly pitying thrilled to be with them. I guess that's their payment for risking their lives for him, huh? He'll actually acknowledge their existence. OMG TEH KEWLIES!

Horcrux

[shadefell.livejournal.com]

I was rereading Order of the Phoenix and got to the part where the Sorting Hat is making its big speech about how it's a great relic because all the founders put something of themselves into him.

Which means there's some of Slytherin in him.

Now, Tomdemort went around shoving bits of his soul into other objects owned/touched/loved/snogged by the founders. He also had very strong emotional ties to Hogwarts. Any possibility that the Sorting Hat has a little bit of Tom Riddle in it?

If this is inapropriate, please delete this or yell at me and I'll delete it. But it popped back into my head and I wanted to write it down before I forgot.