06 HP Chamber of Secrets

[chantaldormand]

Ch6 Gilderoy Lockhart

>Food Porn. I wasn’t missing you.

>So Molly sends a letter bomb with owl prone to collapsing and flying into objects? Bravo Madam, you are almost as good at animal abuse as your sons! +1 to Leap of Logic +1 to Crime Count

>What is with wizards and publicly airing out their family matters? First Lucius scolds Draco in presence of strangers, now Molly uses magical voice mail to shout at her son in middle of breakfast...

>”… STEALING THE CAR, I WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN SURPRISED IF THEY’D EXPELLED YOU, YOU WAIT TILL I GET HOLD OF YOU, I DON’T SUPPOSE YOU STOPPED TO THINK WHAT YOUR FATHER AND I WENT THROUGH WHEN WE SAW IT HAD GONE …” Ladies and gentlemen, Molly just pretty much admitted that the car belonged to Arthur. The same man that apparently wrote law forbidding enchanting muggle objects. In presence of whole faculty and probably majority of students. It’s like Molly wants her husband to lose his job. +1 to Leap of Logic

>I’d like to imagine that Lucius started his day with good cackle.

>”… ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED, YOUR FATHER’S FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, IT’S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT AND IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE WE’LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT BACK HOME.” So it would be entirely Ron’s fault, if Arthur loses his job? Arthur is not at fault for breaking law. Molly is not at fault for potentially making this situation worse by this voice mail. Harry and twins are not at fault for being horrible influence. Just Ron. +1 to Crime Count for emotional abuse.

>+1 to Spell Points for Hermione for buttons

>Ron puts a wand that makes suspicious noises into his bag… I’m just waiting for his bag to erupt into flames. +1 to Leap of Logic

>If Lockhart constantly tries to show off knowledge he doesn’t possess, how the heck he managed avoid allegations of being fraud? +1 to Leap Of Logic

>Once again Harry admires his new DADA teacher. +1 to FWBP

>Lockhart: “Harry! I’ve been wanting a word – “
Harry: Please professor Sprout, don’t leave me with this paedophile! Please!

>For all that narrative tries here to frame Lockhart as disingenuous attention seeker, he comes across as if he genuinely wants to mentor Harry. Huh.

>”Harry stood stunned for a few seconds, then, remembering he was supposed to be in the greenhouse, he opened the door and slid inside” I like to pretend that Harry is stunned here, because he cannot understand how somebody can be recognised for something they worked for.

>Mandragoras sound like something that would be often used in Hogwarts, so why there were no mature ones during Basilisk attacks? +1 to Leap of Logic

>I’m amazed that Harry never heard of Mandrakes. They even appear in the Bible!

>Eh, Sprout doesn’t check if everybody put on their earmuffs correctly…+1 to Crime Count

>I’m not expert when it comes to plants, but this repotting process sounds incorrectly to me.

>You know, even though Lockhart’s stories are stolen/made up, they are still more interesting than HP books. Being cornered in telephone box by werewolf sounds like something out of Supernatural or Dresden Files.

>Justin, just like Hermione, picked the worst method to befriend Harry. Sadly he is not author’s self insert, so he doesn’t get another chance.

>I have odd feeling that Justin’s parents didn’t send him to Hogwarts out of their free will.

>Justin is naive enough to believe that any muggleborn wizard would help their family.

>You would think with all those chores Harry supposedly had to do, he would know how to treat plants.

>”Everything Harry had learned last year seemed to have leaked out of his head during the summer.” After all it’s not like he could do quick study session during his stay at Weasley’s!

>The whole Ron’s-wand-drama instead of making Weasleys look poor, makes them and Hogwarts’ staff look like bunch of irresponsible dicks.

>It’s good that Albus cancels exams or Ron might not pass them with his deathtrap of wand.

>Seriously, if Jo wanted to set up things for Lockhart’s memory wipe, she should either break the wand a week before that scene or just before it. In fact chapter fifteen is perfect occasion for this.

>Hermione is cute with her crush. Shame that in Potterverse you are allowed to have only one crush.

>Colin is competing with Dobby for “The cringiest character in the book” award. I think we need to do a pool for that competition.

>I hope that is not how Jo sees her fans.

>”Be careful, Weasley,’ sneered Malfoy. ‘You don’t want to start any trouble or your mummy’ll have to come and take you away from school.’ He put on a shrill, piercing voice. ‘If you put another toe out of line –” Draco has a career ahead of him. Be it politician or actor, he will do well.

>Awww, Harry is blushing after his 1 on 1 talk with Lockhart. +1 to FWBP

>How the heck Lockhart became “Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defence League” while being fraud? Is this another anti-intellectual message from Jo? +1 to Leap of Logic

>My biggest problem with how Jo writes Lockhart is this: he tries to rub his elbows with academics while being fraud. Real frauds and con artists know that hanging out with experts is the quickest way to being discredited.

>I would complain about Lockhart bringing to class dangerous magical creatures that he has no way of controlling/containing, but then I realise that Hagrid and Lupin exist in this verse... +1 to Leap of Logic +1 to Crime Count (for negletful behaviour from teacher)

>There were no true Gryffindors among those scared cats who ran from the classroom!

>I wonder from what height Neville fell this time.

>Ladies and gents, we are at the end of chapter 6 of the second book and Harry still doesn’t even try to use magic! This is glorious!

>Good thing that Hermione does use magic! +1 to Spell Count.

>”Rubbish,’ said Hermione. ‘You’ve read his books – look at all those amazing things he’s done …” Honestly I find it refreshing that for once Hermione is wrong.

Crime Count: 4

Death Count: 0

Freud Would Be Proud: 2

Leap of Logic: 7

Uncovered: 0

Spell Count: Hermione:2

Comments

[elanor-x.livejournal.com]

> It’s like Molly wants her husband to lose his job.

Some part of her does dream of exactly that. I think we read somewhere that Arthur could try to get advancement with the attendant higher salary, had he not fallen in love with Muggle stuff.

>I’m amazed that Harry never heard of Mandrakes. They even appear in the Bible!

Do students study Bible in secular schools in UK?

>How the heck Lockhart became “Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defence League” while being fraud?

May be, he memory charmed somebody important in the League while carefully keeping away from other members.

>Ladies and gents, we are at the end of chapter 6 of the second book and Harry still doesn’t even try to use magic! This is glorious!

I love the mystery element in CoS, so am OK with magic being less important in the book than reading people (like the boy from the diary or Lockhart) or interpreting clues like Hermione will do with the basilisk.

When JKR started paying more attention to magic, book quality suffered. See: new wand theory in DH.

[chantaldormand]

/Do students study Bible in secular schools in UK?/

I can't speak for UK, but here fragments of Bible are studied in literature classes. Also Harry is living with people who actively try to stop him from doing magic, so I imagine that at some point Petunia might have tossed bible at him.

/May be, he memory charmed somebody important in the League while carefully keeping away from other members. /

That's very risky endeavour by Lockhart standards. Going by chapter 16, each time he wiped someone' memory he seems to at first get close to them, then in one-on-one setting get to them.

/I love the mystery element in CoS, so am OK with magic being less important in the book than reading people (like the boy from the diary or Lockhart) or interpreting clues like Hermione will do with the basilisk. /

Oh, the mystery elements in CoS is one of things that make taking apart this book so enjoyable for me. PS was relatively boring for me.
I complain about magic usage, because the first thing everybody say about the series is "it's about boy learning magic in magical school!", yet it's about halfway through second book in the series before Harry casts his first spell.
And I agree about JKR's inability to write reasonable magic system. She should sit with... I don't know, Jim Butcher or Neil Gaiman and talk about this stuff.

[mary-j-59.livejournal.com]

I don't know what it's like now, but, when my parents were teaching in England in the 1970s, Religious Instruction was mandated by the state. There is no separation of Church and State in England. At least, not as we'd understand it in America.

Also, there was sometimes something from the Bible during school assemblies.

[chantaldormand]

Here where I live even public secular schools have something like Religious Instruction with priest or qualified teacher. You can either take that class or Ethics, but you can't bow out of taking either of them.

Now I mentioned in my comment reading parts of Bible for Literature class. Literature classes have as required reading parts of Bible, Greek Mythology and a few Ancient Greek dramas, because majority of European literature references in one or other way those works.
Granted elementary school students get to read more kid friendly parts of Bible and Greek Mythology.

[snapes-witch.livejournal.com]

When I was a high school senior in Indiana our last semester of English was studying the Bible as literature. My paper was on St. Paul.

[oryx_leucoryx]

But Harry's proper education ended at age 11. Would an 11 year old British boy in the 1990s learn anything from the Bible in school, and would that include the rather few mentions of Mandrakes (Genesis 30:14-18, also several mentions in Song of Songs)?

[chantaldormand]

I don't know about British kids, but for me majority of Genesis was mandatory reading in 4th grade. That is usually 9-10 year old.
As I said, that is not the only way of how Harry could have learned about Mandrakes. While Durslays aren't very religious family, but they really don't want Harry to do accidental magic. Dumbledore left them a magical kid without any kind of manual, so they might hope that frightening him might do a job.
Not to mention that he lives in one dormitory with guy who loves plants. Had they sat down and talked from time to time, Harry might be less clueless about what happens around him *shrugs*

[oryx_leucoryx]

From what I understand, British elementary students don't study entire Bible books but mostly read select passages for their moral value. I don't think two literal sister wives bargaining for sex with their shared husband meets the grade.

In Israel we studied a neatly censored version of Genesis in 2nd grade (age 7-8). Since the relevant passage is about sex it was not part of the approved edition.

[chantaldormand]

Yeah, I've got questionable pleasure of reading uncensored version of that part of Bible in elementary school. But then again the same people who decided that 10 year old me should read uncensored Genesis, wanted 7 year old me to read a novel about adventures of kitten whose tail was bitten off by hungry rats. Needless to say the education system spectacularly failed at encouraging me to reading books.
Lucky for my younger sister, by the time she entered 4th grade they reduced Bible study to comparing creation mythos of Old testament and Greek mythology, and handful of fragments from New Testament.

[smirkingcat.livejournal.com]

i put my coin down for dobby- the way he dies and his complete story arch is just so much more cringy than collin will ever be;

i always wondered about the communication and talking about family business in public- and then i thought myself lucky to not have been written in a universe governed by jkr

he tries to rub his elbows with academics while being fraud. Real frauds and con artists know that hanging out with experts is the quickest way to being discredited
this is so true and more spot on than anybody else can ever say!

also i forgot how boooring book 2 was, but now i remember, it was such a hassle to read because nothing really ever happened

[chantaldormand]

Eh, IMHO CoS is much more interesting than HBP. At least here I can speculate about Tom's movements.
In HBP I keep imagining Voldie sitting on couch and drowning his post OotP depression in mountains of Fortescue's ice cream.

[nx74defiant.livejournal.com]

>I’d like to imagine that Lucius started his day with good cackle

I love the image of Lucius and Narcissi sharing a good laugh together over breakfast.

Eh, Sprout doesn’t check if everybody put on their earmuffs correctly

The lack of care for student safety is amazing in these books.

>The whole Ron’s-wand-drama instead of making Weasleys look poor, makes them and Hogwarts’ staff look like bunch of irresponsible dicks


I know! Come on wands are required for almost all of the class work! Yet no one takes the time to try to help Ron get a new wand, no funds for poor student (which help poor young Tom Riddle). Wonderful head of house McG. does nothing.
>I’m not expert when it comes to plants, but this repotting process sounds incorrectly to me.


I kill pretty much everything, but even I know more about how to repot than this.

>I have odd feeling that Justin’s parents didn’t send him to Hogwarts out of their free will.


I figure muggle parents who don't agree to sending their child to Hogwarts are magically "persuaded" to do it.

>Justin is naive enough to believe that any muggleborn wizard would help their family.

Don't worry Hogwarts will get that silly idea out of his head.

[with-rainfall.livejournal.com]

Good catch on Molly exposing Arthur’s fraud. Classic Gryff-centric narration/IOIAGDI. All credit to the Ministry, at least Arthur does face an enquiry, although IIRC he doesn’t lose his job over it.

If Lucius had done the same it would be taken as a sign of incipient Dark Magic/anti-Muggle activity.

[chantaldormand]

Kinda makes me wonder if there were any consequences to this drama. Hmm, we shall see later.

[aikaterini.livejournal.com]

/Molly just pretty much admitted that the car belonged to Arthur. The same man that apparently wrote law forbidding enchanting muggle objects. In presence of whole faculty and probably majority of students/

Good catch!

/So it would be entirely Ron’s fault, if Arthur loses his job? Arthur is not at fault for breaking law/

Of course it's Ron's fault, just like it's Ron's fault that Norbert(a) bit him, Draco's fault that Buckbeak attacked him, Neville's fault that Sirius got inside Gryffindor Tower, etc. etc. It's not like the adults ever need to take responsibility for anything.

/I have odd feeling that Justin’s parents didn’t send him to Hogwarts out of their free will/

A choice between Eton, a well-known and prestigious school, and Hogwarts, a school that they can't tell anybody else about and that they are unable to see or visit. I know that people will speculate that Justin/the Ministry forced Justin's parents to send him to Hogwarts, but a kinder explanation is that they love their son that much that they're willing to send him to an unknown school if that means he'll be happy and learn how to control his magic.

/The whole Ron’s-wand-drama instead of making Weasleys look poor, makes them and Hogwarts’ staff look like bunch of irresponsible dicks/

And JKR shot herself in the foot by coming up with the fund that Dumbledore suggested to Tom in HBP. I guess that one could handwave it as the fund only applying to orphans or the fund eventually being discontinued before Harry's time or the Weasleys being too proud and pigheaded to apply for the fund, but the fact that none of the teachers ever offer to fix Ron's wand or give him a new one still counts as a strike against them.

/I would complain about Lockhart bringing to class dangerous magical creatures that he has no way of controlling/containing, but then I realise that Hagrid and Lupin exist in this verse/

Lupin at least knew how to control the creatures that he brought to class. The dangerous magical animal that he refused to take steps to control was himself.