15 HP Chamber of Secrets
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deathtocapslockCh15 Aragog
>”‘We’re taking no more chances,’ Madam Pomfrey told them severely through a crack in the hospital door. ‘No, I’m sorry, there’s every chance the attacker might come back to finish these people off …’”So what, if I’m bleeding out Pomfrey will still refuse to let me in? Can’t you place petrified victims in more secure location and open the wing to general populous? It’s not like students can catch anything from hospital wing’s residents. +1 to LOL
>Also does it means she suspects that those two are behind the attacks? Considering how shifty they act, I suppose this isn’t that unreasonable assumption...
>Due to Albus not being at the school students now are more scared... Are we still talking about the same man that did nothing visible to catch the culprit or lessen chances of any further attacks? +1 to LOL
>”Snape swept past Harry, making no comment about Hermione’s empty seat and cauldron” That dastardly Snape! Daring to ignore our hero’s woe!
>Aww, Draco is cute here!
>”Snape smirked as he swept off around the dungeon, fortunately not spotting Seamus Finnigan, who was pretending to vomit into his cauldron” and thus contaminating his potion. It’s wonder that any Gryffindor survives long enough to graduate.
>With seven years and 4 houses, how teachers manage to take students to classes? +1 to LOL
>”I know you’d never attack Hermione Granger, and I apologise for all the stuff I said.” I don’t know Ernie, If I were the person responsible for the attacks I would consider convincing one of my friends to take one for the team. Especially since Hermione is relatively unharmed; sure she will lose a month or so of education, but otherwise she is safe. +1 to LOL
>”‘Oh, yeah,’ said Ron, trying, and failing, to look pleased. ‘But we can’t follow them now …’
Ernie and Hannah were listening curiously.“ Way to raise your credibility guys! Your behaviour in no way makes you look crazy or suspicious!
>Now, since Hermione is out of the game, we are back to half cooked suicidal and stupid plans. It’s not much of improvement, but at least I won’t get a headache from over analyzing them.
>Woah, by Lockhart’s standards that is quite venom. What exactly Hagrid did to earn it? The only thing that comes to my mind is admitting that he doesn’t care for Lockhart’s books or autographs, but still...
>So our brave heroes once again decide to run off during crisis situation to solve problems outside of their jurisdiction +1 to CC
>Oh boy, another romp through forest full of hungry beasts in middle of the night. You would think that after PS Harry would know that going through Forbidden Forest during night to look for something is monumentally stupid, but then again Harry isn't the brain of this group.
>Guys you know that since the grounds are moonlighted, anyone who looks out of the window could potentially spot you? All it takes is a weary teacher taking a break during patrol and looking out of the window. +1 to LOL
>Also, just because you spotted spiders going towards the forest in the afternoon, it doesn’t mean that they will still be there. +1 to LOL
>Wait, so Hogwarts' staff kept the poor dog locked up in Hagrid's shack? Did they even feed him?
>”Worried he might wake everyone at the castle with his deep, booming barks, they hastily fed him treacle fudge from a tin on the mantelpiece, which glued his teeth together.” You poor, poor dog. You don't deserve this :( +1 to CC
>So in act of utter stupidity, boys leave the Invisibility Cloak in Hagrid’s shack. It’s not like they could use it to hide from hungry/angry magical creatures... +1 to LOL +1 to DC
>+1 to SP for Harry’s Lumos
>”‘Good thinking,’ said Ron. ‘I’d light mine too, but you know – it’d probably blow up or something …’” JKR decided to show us just how absolutely stupid those two are, just in case we forgot... Two untrained teenage wizards going into forest full of magical creatures with only one working wand. What could go wrong? +3 to LOL
>Sooo I have to ask: why boys have to follow spiders? I mean obviously that was Jo’s way of leading them to Aragog, but why normal spiders would run to acromantulas? Somehow I doubt that young acromantulas would have anything against eating other species of spiders...
>Harry and Ron decide to leave the path and follow spiders further into the forest. In middle of the night. In magical forest. Without marking the way they come ... Jo are you sure you are writing about two 12 year old boys? I think that 6 year old would be smarter than that... +3 to LOL +1 to DC
>”‘Harry, it’s our car!’” Your car? A) if anything it's your father's car B) at this point the car is free sentient being and as such I don't think you can claim ownership over it.
>And then our hero was run over by sentient car. The End +1 to DC
>I was kinda hoping that Ford Anglia was conspiring with spiders to get rid of those morons. Sadly that isn't the case.
>”Ron didn’t speak. He didn’t move. His eyes were fixed on a point some ten feet above the Forest floor, right behind Harry.” And then our hero was eaten by huge man eating spiders. The End... Wait, wait, wait! 10 feet? That is over 3 meters! How the heck a whole colony of spiders this big can live off the Forbidden Forest? Does that mean that pre-Hagrid Forbidden Forest was this lush, full of animals paradise? +1 to DC
>”but Harry couldn’t have yelled even if he had wanted to; he seemed to have left his voice back with the car in the clearing.” Well then, I hope that Ford Anglia makes a good use of it.
>”And from the middle of the misty domed web, a spider the size of a small elephant emerged, very slowly” African elephants grow up to 3,3 meters and Indian elephants up to 2,7 meters...So in other words Aragog is only little smaller than the spiders who carried our heroic duo. Good job Jo.
>Harry is lucky he managed to get a good roll for both initiative and charisma check otherwise Aragog’s brood would eat him. +1 to DC
>”‘But why has he sent you?’” If this book was written by different author the answer obviously would be: to feed you.
>Apparently Hagrid not only released one man eating spider, but also found a partner for it! That man is walking ecological disaster.
>”I never saw any part of the castle but the cupboard in which I grew up.”...it’s like Hagrid wanted to be caught... Not to mention that any unsuspecting student or teacher could open the cupboard and get bitten by dangerous spider... +1 to LOL +1 to CC
>”‘is an ancient creature we spiders fear above all others.” Hey, hey Jo? Ya know how some snakes eat spiders? Well the thing is that some spiders eat snakes. Shocking, I know!
>Now I want to see Godzilla style battle between the Basilisk and Acromantula!
>I tried to find source of the whole spiders-are-afraid-of-the-Basilisk thing, but as far as I can tell it’s Jo’s idea. Not very smart one, but still hers.
>”‘We do not name it! I never even told Hagrid the name of that dread creature, though he asked me, many times.’” Good move on your part. Knowing Hagrid he would either replace you with the Basilisk or force you to crossbreed with it.
>Curious thing: there are some species of spiders that live in colonies. Now I'm stuck wondering if Jo accidentally managed to write something that is somewhat biologically correct or if she did some research. That being said Social Spiders cooperate on individual level not hive level and Aragog spawn seems to act bit more like hive than group of individuals.
>Remember how in PS Harry was surprisingly good at recognising trees? Well now he can add recognition of dog species to his resume. Still, out of the two, this one is more believable thanks to PoA.
>”They sped up the slope, out of the hollow, and they were soon crashing through the Forest, branches whipping the windows as the car wound its way cleverly through the widest gaps, following a path it obviously knew.” Are we still talking about ancient magical forest? Fuck, in forest near my home I can't drive off the patch without crashing into tree. Either residents of Hogwarts helped themselves with wood from Forbidden Forest or the forest is not as old as we are lead to believe.
>Poor Ron, he just lived through his worst nightmare and the only thing his best friend does is asking him if he is ok... :(
>Also if Rowling was better author, this event would cause serious mental scarring that would have later consequences.
>”‘What was the point of sending us in there? What have we found out, I’d like to know?’” Oi Jo, your characters desperately want to inform you, that you should make appointment with your editor. Preferably ASAP.
>”Ron gave a loud snort. Evidently, hatching Aragog out in a cupboard wasn’t his idea of being innocent.” Well Harry, last I checked Acromantulas are highly dangerous magical creatures that common Joe is forbidden from breeding. As it is, Hagrid not only broke that law, but also endangered fellow students by keeping it in cupboard and then most probably caused irreparable damage to ecosystem of Forbidden Forest’s. I'm not sure about Azkaban per say, but he sure as hell should be kept away from both children and animals.+3 to CC
>”even other monsters didn’t want to name it.” This is so convoluted. Aragog could have said that he doesn't know what Basilisks are called in human languages and offer Harry series of clicks as a name. But then again in this series names seem to have some kind of power and in this case even a name of species...
>”‘You don’t think – not Moaning Myrtle?’” DUN DUN DUN! A good cliff hanger AND a good plot twist? Did we just transition into alternate reality where JKR is actually competent writer? We shall see.
Crime Count: 6
Death Count: 5
Freud Would Be Proud: 0
Leap of Logic: 14
Uncovered: 0
Spell Count: Harry: 1
no subject
Date: 2019-06-24 04:36 pm (UTC)BTW, thanks for shout out, this community could use more active users =)
It would also mean that Snape was giving Hermione special treatment, since I don't recall him making any comments about other victims.
Even so I souldn't exactly say that he is idiot, he is just more self-centred than average three year old. Not that it's much of improvement =P
no subject
Date: 2019-06-24 10:56 pm (UTC)> this community could use more active users =)
My thinking precisely. 😊
I don't recall it either, and it was by far the best thing he could have done given the hats he wears to just say nothing at all. Show sympathy? For a Mudblood? Attacked, presumably for just that reason. (Her heritage.) And do so in front of the Slytherins? Hardly. If anything, the absence of comments about being able to proceed with the lesson undisturbed speaks for him being decent about it.
Oh, I spotted another wtf? with regards to Snape walking them over to Herbology - it's not just improbable the teachers would be able to escort them to all their classes in terms of the time. The other issue is the classes are split. So in this case, the *Gryffindors* are in the Herbology class with the Hufflepuffs. But if an escort is truly necessary, the *Slytherins* would have needed to be escorted to the class they have with the Ravenclaws during that hour as well.
Harry really is, isn't he? lol I have the hardest time reconciling his virtually unflagging sense of entitlement with his neglectful / abusive past.
no subject
Date: 2019-07-23 01:44 am (UTC)If Lucius Malfoy had been halfway competent, he would have convinced the rest of the Board of Governors to add a second teacher for each of the core subjects. It would legitimately improve both education and safety, and probably keep the teachers from just dropping dead of exhaustion one day. Then Lucius would have a solid claim to being an effective educational reformer, which is probably a lot cheaper than huge donations to St. Mungo's. And if the teachers having time to think straight for once leads them to question some of Dumbledore's decisions, well, that's fair enough, and long overdue. And it would only be responsible for them to make sure students aren't being as gullible as the sleep-deprived teachers had been. Lucius could have undermined Dumbledore's power base and made himself look good without doing anything wrong or controversial. Because it's important to save your bribery and blackmail for when you really need it and no one will believe the victim anyway because you're done so many genuinely good things. Come on, HP villains, get it together! (It's a real shame that Umbridge's evil plan to seize power through instituting regular teacher evaluations had no long-term effects.)
Growing up, Harry's example of how a child who is loved and valued is treated was Dudley. If you asked, he would say that of course spoiling kids like Dudley is wrong, but logic doesn't necessarily override the thousands and thousands of examples normalizing that treatment he saw for as long as he can remember. (And for all we know, James and Lily treated Harry like the Dursleys treat Dudley, so it might go back even further.) So I can totally see him feeling--on an emotional, irrational level which he would probably be ashamed of and maybe unable to admit consciously--that anyone who valued him would treat him as "fairly" as the Dursleys treat Dudley. The fact that the books never recognized this result of the emotional abuse is tragic, because it leaves us wondering whether Harry will keep suffering from this emotional problem forever--and once he's out of school and not being protected by a twinkly manipulator, it will probably cause him a lot more trouble.
no subject
Date: 2019-07-23 12:35 pm (UTC)The hours to instruct make no sense either. Potions is taught to all seven years, and to two groups at least through year five (Slytherin / Gryffindor, Ravenclaw / Hufflepuff, years 1-5, then the mixed NEWTs classes years six and seven). That's twelve hours right there, And yet there's supposed to be single and double potions. That's *at least* three hours per class group, which would be thirty-six hours of instruction, and doesn't include things like grading assignments and tests. And that's sticking with the forty kids per year model (which makes the wizarding population far too small). (I've never known a teacher to have more than thirty hours of class instruction in a week (that discounts study halls), and that was considered extreme. Assuming the S/G, R/H classes were always perfectly in sync (ha!), that's still 21 hours of unique prep every week, too, which is insane.) The maths never made sense in any direction in these books. [But then that's JKR to a t.] And somehow the group that included such academic lights as Lavender and Goyle and Crabbe was elite enough to warrant instruction exclusively by the department heads, if we assume more than just those few teachers on staff, that they are actually department heads and not the entire department in and of themselves... (And the only reason to think so is info on Pottermore, not anything in the books proper.)
That's a good point about Harry’s sense of entitlement possibly arising from accepting the 'Dudley treatment' as normal on some level, and I'd bet there's something to it, too. (Wouldn't want to be in Ginny's shoes later on in their post-Hogwarts relationship, say. On the other hand, they seem to like to present it as Harry having gained all kinds of insight and whatnot from his DH experiences, so who knows.) But the thing that really jars for me in the books is that he genuinely expects *everyone* to meet whatever need he has at the moment, (even if only emotional). Snape is a big ol' meany who means because he doesn't sympathise with Harry's 'loss' of Hermione there? Really? Why on earth *would* he? Even from Harry's POV? (Ignoring the whole spy thing etc.) Harry has defined Snape as the enemy from the outset, and yet Harry still has these expectations. Unrelentingly. I just don't get that aspect of the Harry character. (Day one, he walked into that class and mouthed off, talked back. One point was deducted, twice. Those are the only instances of a single point deduction in the entire series, and yet Harry can't accept it, he goes on the offensive. Against a teacher. That'll end well.)
no subject
Date: 2019-07-25 04:30 am (UTC)The teaching load is a nightmare, and no, it doesn't make sense. How can they possibly make a schedule every year that lets all students attend the classes they want and need without an impossible clash somewhere? And then also have remedial tutoring, office hours, some kind of supervision, patrolling the halls... No way. Are the teachers using Time-Turners? But no, because they all seem to have one classroom apiece. Unless they assign different cohorts to different ones and Harry just never realizes that "the" Charms classroom is actually "a" Charms classroom. Hard to believe Rowling was a teacher.
no subject
Date: 2019-07-25 04:09 pm (UTC)So, mid-year, CoS, people are being petrified, they have no idea how or why. They don't even know for sure that the Mandrake Restorative Draught they're waiting on will work, as they don't know the cause of the petrification... They do know that in the past, an attack along these lines resulted in the death of a student, and at *that* time, they had been prepared to close the school. But at present? No, at present they're *dithering*. How many more need to be injured before Dumbles gets off his backside and *does* something?
So I picture it like this, Lucius goes the path of righteous indignation, and makes the lazy, timid chicken-shitters on the Board of Governors actually stand up to Albus and take *action*. In this case, demand he step down. Keep in mind that as far as anyone knows, Albus is the man who gave the student responsible for another's death a job at the castle. (And as further proof of his suitability, will promote him to teaching staff next year despite his lack of qualifications, and what he will demonstrate to be general incompetence. Skrewts *are* illegal, and *aren't* on their OWLs, after all... Oh, and dangerous.)
As for the teachers and their hours, I believe that's an example of author error, and thus *can't* be addressed by any of the characters. Not once in the books is their work schedule presented as problematic. Not even Snape snarks, so I guess we're meant to think it's cool. Somehow.
no subject
Date: 2019-07-26 02:08 am (UTC)So... yeah, the "threats" may have been less threatening than we're led to believe. Also, I think Terri was the one who looked at Dumbledore's statement that if any more of Voldemort's old school things turned up, he'd make sure they were traced back to Lucius, and asked, er, does that mean you'll make sure he takes the fall whether he's guilty or not, Albus? Hoping this gives him incentive to keep his former colleagues in line or something? Who were we saying was threatening people again? And while we're at it, what's our only source for the allegation that Lucius threatened anyone in the first place? Maybe Albus was actually saying, "Look, I can get the other Governors to frame you if I tell them to. You won't win this power struggle. Back down."
Trying to force Dumbledore out in CoS probably seemed like a good idea at the time, given the risk of immanent deaths and all, but Lucius didn't have a follow-up plan (or it fell through, or didn't come off in time). All things considered, he probably shouldn't have tipped his hand so early. Let Dumbledore think he was too intimidated to try anything directly while introducing proposals for educational reforms it's hard to argue with, like more staff (even if we pretend the schedule is possible, they must still be stretched pretty thin). Or better yet, use the time-honored method of getting a senior board member to introduce it for him. Surely there's one who thinks it sounds like a good idea, especially if it's pitched as something to support the Great and Wonderful Dumbledore, or at least not draw his ire? (Poor man, he hardly has time for his political posts with all the school admin he's surely doing! We should get a secretary and an accountant and more teachers for him!) And if not, well, it's not like Lucius has any moral qualms about using the Imperius Curse, and who's going to suspect Imperius if old Whatshisname thinks it would be great if teachers had more time for one-on-one student advisory and more thorough comments on essays?
no subject
Date: 2019-07-23 03:22 pm (UTC)Hmm, I partially blame Dumbledore for reducing politics to game of who can outbid me in bribery department. He is the Headmaster of the only magical school in UK and as such he has a very strong influence on developing minds of young people. Yet what we see under his leadership? No programs helping young people prepare for their future careers, no classes/clubs supporting any creative endeavors and people who try in creative and/or smart way solve problems are punished. Well unless you are one of his favorite students then you can join his vigilante group, form underground army where you teach anti-government spells and smuggle illegal highly dangerous animals into castle without ending in prison.
In that kind of setting, it’s hard to develop out-of-box thinking style.
But yeah I agree with gingerbred: considering how long Lucius was governor he was very effective :P
You know, I was kind of rooting for Dolores. Sure she was awful person, but she was both more effective and more interesting than Voldemort. Not to mention that she fits more in books about magical school than Tom.
Honestly it’s no wonder that Harry is such terrible father in You-Know-What. Between Durslays and Weasleys it’s hard to find a good example of parenting, especially if you are as damaged as Harry.
no subject
Date: 2019-07-25 09:17 pm (UTC)The people we see being creative beyond that (the twins *cough*) are massively disruptive PITAs, so it made sense to me that they weren't getting a lot of support (and as they weren't Prefects, lol, they didn't get it at home either... (further supporting your point about the Weasleys not being great parenting role models)). Whereas Luna's odd lion headgear had to come from something she's learnt, or Lee's ability to run a (pirate) radio station in DH (perhaps an extension of his announcing the Quidditch matches?), so there *is* some background creativity happening, it just doesn't seem to interest our POV person, Harry. And really, if you think about it, Slughorn sees Ginny's Bat-bogey and invites her to join the Slug Club instead of punishing her. (Not ideal in a teacher, but still, that's support of a kind.) Or Neville being so eager to show Professor Sprout his new Mimbletonia. Even Minerva organising a Time Turner for Hermione. There are intellectually supportive relationships hinted at, just not shown. We never see those scenes, so they have less 'weight'.
We know that Harry and Ron are 'good' students, based on both being considered for the Prefect position... They both only manage five NEWT classes. I imagine that the students who have fewer (so presumably the majority) have some sort of vocational training, or what are they doing with all those free hours for those two years? (We just wouldn't see it, because our three don't go that route. Which naturally doesn't mean it didn't deserve a throwaway line or two. Neville might have been ideal for it, we only *know* of him taking four NEWTs. Or Seamus or Dean...)
Unfortunately, we really can't tell to what extent the failings in the curriculum are down to Albus' machinations (or incompetency), or JKR just not thinking of them. 😐 His partiality, for example, is a character trait, and would seem to indicate he's unsuited to the job, ditto decisions like hiring Lockhart and Hagrid, but things like apprenticeships aren't touched on at all. Of all the parents and teachers, Snape and the Longbottoms are the only ones on record who seem to have *any* higher learning or job training. That's not Dumbledore's shortcoming, that's down to the author.
There is a lack of concept as to how their society works, or, hell, even how large it is. (They should never be able to keep the Ministry running (fiscally), and there can't possibly be enough fans to support the pro Quidditch teams. That's just bonkers.) They've never acknowledged that a muggle-born (about a *fifth* of their society) has serious deficits that (should) need addressing. (So you have Muggle Studies, but no 'Wizarding Society 101'? No 'Wizarding Home Economics'?) Yeah, there are a lot of problems, but the question is: what's the root cause?
(I'm pretending You-Know-What didn't happen. For so, so *very* many reasons. lol 😉)
no subject
Date: 2019-07-26 02:41 am (UTC)Extracurricular clubs I can see, though. We know there's a "Charms Club" which interferes with scheduling Quidditch practice once, and there's a Gobstones club or team or something, so there is evidence for clubs. Some of them could be art and choir, and the Trio would have ignored them for the reasons you said.
It would be fascinating to read the underground zines the more creative students probably produce every odd year. Draco probably writes poetry under a ridiculously obvious pen name. No one's sure whether Luna's written submissions are meant to be fact or fiction, but they're certainly creative, and her artwork is always a welcome page-filler. Colin is getting better at composition now that he's getting the hang of developing moving photos. Dean draws exotic Muggle things like footballs and televisions which always get some interest.
I like to think that there are guild-run apprenticeships. Some students start them after NEWTs, with the exams acting as partial credit or something so they aren't in for another full seven years. We know that's about how the Healer Apprentice program works, so, precedent! Others leave after OWLs (ditto, with less transferable credit). And probably some do just outside vocational training and never go to Hogwarts; there are little fly-by-night tutoring groups and "not-technically-schools" to give them just enough instruction in other subjects to pass some exams and qualify for unrestricted wand use.
But it takes an awful lot of inventing and creative interpretation to make things even halfway work. The wizarding world is just so impossible. It's a great example of why, "Because... er... magic!" is not good enough if you want a fictional society to look even impressionistically real (as opposed to being pure satire like Animal Farm or something, and even that probably holds together better).
no subject
Date: 2019-07-28 04:19 pm (UTC)-Knitting Club- HBP movie only
-Art Club for Gryffindors- movies only
- and if we reaaaallly stretched meaning of word art we have Potions Club- HBP game only
I'm not sure if choir is book canon, because I don't recall noticing it in books so far *shrugs*
As for other clubs? Most of them are either movies only canon (and appear only on posters in background) or games only canon:
- Rat Race Club: movies only
- Slugs and Bugs Club: movies only
- Hogwarts Ancient Runes Club: movies only
- Hogwarts Gobstone Club: mentioned in OotP
- Chudley Cannons Fan Club: movies only
- Charms Club: mentioned in OotP
- Celestina Warbeck Fan Club: mobile game only
- Magical Creatures: movies only
- Astronomy Club: movies only
- Wizard Card Collectors' Club: games only
My main problem is that Albus as Headmaster does not promote these activities. He could easily make announcements before meals about up-coming events organised by these clubs. Or once per year allow clubs to occupy Great Hall and let them promote their activities. It would work great for world building.
Not to mention that usually boarding schools try to fill out students' time so they won't have time or energy to cause problems and clubs are great way of doing so.
I don't believe that Prefect position is about how good student is, but more about how much influence the student has among students. If the student wasn't in some way or shape respected by other students then they won't be able to enforce rules, thus they are ineffective. Do you truly believe that Hermione would become Prefect if she wasn't Harry's friend? Or Remus if he wasn't James' friend?
(I like to pretend that after OotP Jo died in car-crash, and nothing further was written in this verse :P)