CoS Chapter Twelve
Apr. 27th, 2007 08:52 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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deathtocapslockI was without Internet all day until now.:-)
*Harry goes to Dumbledore’s office terrified he’s about to be thrown out of school. Harry’s always sure he’s about to be thrown out when he hasn’t done anything, meanwhile he’s got an illegal Potion bubbling in the bathroom and is planning to assault a couple of students as soon as it’s done.
*The Sorting Hat tells Harry he was particularly difficult to place, even though he totally wasn’t. Honestly, does Harry really seem like anything besides a Gryffindor, Slytherin moments aside? Was the Hat really considering Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw? Nice try pretending Harry is so talented he’d have done well in any house, there, JKR. We all know why all your heroes are all in Gryffindor.
*The Hat telling Harry he stands by his words that he would have done well in Slytherin. The hat is not not telling Harry he belongs in Slytherin.
*This is why I love the Hat. Basically this whole conversation is Harry coming in and saying, "Hi, I still need reassurance that I don’t have Slytherin cooties." And the Hat’s like, "Slytherin’s just as good as Gryffindor. Fuck off."
*As a result, Harry feels nauseous. Imagine being put in Slytherin. I think I’d leave, wouldn’t you?
*I love Harry worrying the pet bird’s going to die while he’s in the room. Then he’d be expelled for that too.
*Fawkes is all Gryffindor colors and is really faithful. I demand equally awesome mascots for all Houses. I’m already pissed off that Ravenclaw’s mascot is an eagle.
*Hagrid arrives to be the faithful idiot for Harry again. I’m surprised he doesn’t start casting suspicion on random Slytherins while he’s defending Harry to the death.
*Btw, is anybody going to ask him what he’s doing with that rooster? Or maybe by this time they know they don’t want to know.
*Harry thinks of all the things he ought to tell Dumbledore before not telling him anything, though he doesn’t quite explain exactly why he’s not telling him stuff.
*The school’s in a panic now because two people have been petrified. A few years later nobody can be arsed to care about two murder attempts. Maybe Dumbledore started ordering the House Elves to put something calming in the food.
*Everyone’s scrambling to get on the train home, yet Malfoy is still staying with no explanation as to why, exactly. If I were Lucius I would not trust Draco not to get himself petrified.
*Actually, wait. I’ve probably just solved it. If Draco got petrified it would be better for Lucius. It would make him look innocent and he could go after Arthur even more dramatically.
*Crabbe and Goyle have stayed behind too because they always do whatever Malfoy do. As opposed to Ron and Hermione will never flown off to the Ministry of Magic because Harry is.
*Harry’s glad everyone but them and their victims are staying. You’d think that would make it more likely the three of them would be caught, wouldn’t you? Fewer people who could have knocked Crabbe and Goyle out.
*Ginny I doesn’t find jokes about Harry being the Heir of Slytherin funny either. She even manages to rouse herself enough to say "Oh don’t!" which is almost as good as confessing she thinks she might be behind it all.
*What a match made in heaven those two are. When they’re married they can help each other bury bodies in the cellar to avoid awkward confessions about how they died.
*Btw, the Twins? Just as good at running a joke into the ground as Malfoy apparently. And he doesn’t manufacture fake poop.
*Ron thinks Draco’s annoyed by Fred and George because he’s bursting to say he’s the Heir. I think he may be looking at them thinking, "My god, am I that annoying when I carry on a joke too long? Nah. My Dementor impressions kill!"
*I still can’t believe I’ve had people actually argue to me that Malfoy is behind everyone thinking Harry is the Heir. Not just because Malfoy clearly doesn’t want people thinking that, but because it’s kind of the whole plot of the book how Harry actually comes under suspicion.
*Fred, George and Ginny had chosen not to go to Egypt, because they do everything Harry does.
*Btw, if I were Ginny I think I’d want to get away from the basilisk to make sure I didn’t petrify anyone else, but remember, crushes are higher priority than the other peoples’ lives.
*Hermione comes into the boys’ dorm, because the stairs into it aren’t magically charmed to disappear when the other gender tries to enter. Which is odd because at this school the boys—at least in Gryffindor—are passive, shrinking violets and the girls are a hoard of hormone-crazed harpies chasing after them.
*Okay, I love the Dursleys sending Harry a toothpick, but how on earth do they send it? Did Hedwig just fly on her own to their House and attack them until they sent something? Since when do the Dursleys just send notes to Harry via Hedwig? Hedwig lives at school.
*Harry feels guilty about his Weasley jumper after the thing with the car. I wonder if he also feels guilty about, as far as we know, not giving Molly anything.
*Hagrid’s drunk again. Shock.
*How much would a guy Hagrid’s size have to drink to get wasted? If he gets killed in the next book I hope they do an autopsy so we can get a look at that liver.
*Harry thinks how Malfoy will be getting his comeuppance for daring to make a snide remark about Harry’s jumper later. Err…I mean, Malfoy will be finally brought to justice later under my totally unbiased hand!
*And yet Malfoy’s not the one making somebody’s badge say pinhead, so the Twins still win the Christmas Bully prize.
*Harry and Ron have three helpings of Christmas pudding, which brings them in just under the level of being gluttons like Dudley, Crabbe and Goyle.
*Oh and btw, Hermione says quickly, here are the knock out drops for Crabbe and Goyle. Maybe it’s Hermione who will be getting the comeuppance later.
*Err…how does Hermione think it would work to have Millicent show up in the Slytherin Common Room and announce she’d come back to Hogwarts actually work? They’d spend the whole hour with Malfoy going, "What do you mean you came back? How?" And then after she disappeared they’d all know it wasn’t really Millicent, because she didn’t come back at all.
*Harry and Ron are really worried about Hermione’s plan. Not because they have any trouble with knocking anyone out or stealing their body or spying, but because things could apparently go wrong. To them—not to the Slytherins.
*Crabbe and Goyle have FOUR helpings of trifle. Goddamn pigs.
*Then they eat cupcakes left out on the banister. Which means it’s totally their own fault for getting knocked out.
*Hermione’s stolen larger robes from the laundry—yet apparently missed the dozens of House Elves that would be running it.
*Also, don’t kids have to buy their own robes? Since when are there just "extras" around. Doesn’t Hermione really mean she stole someone else’s?
*I’ll bet when you drink Polyjuice Potion with one of SuperGinny’s hairs in it, it turns a beautiful, sparkly rainbow color and tastes like cherry lime ricky!
*Before we drink the Potion, let’s once more remind everyone how we’re all swapping our own cute figures for inferior, larger bodies.
*I love that they think to get larger clothes, but don’t think to get undressed before switching their bodies.
*Also, there’s no mention of shirts or anything under the robes. And no sign of the notorious pointy hats.
*In fourth year, before the Yule Ball, Draco held an intervention in Slytherin to get rid of Crabbe’s pudding basin haircut.
*Btw, according to Ron Millicent is ugly. I know, the shocks are just relentless in this chapter.
*Ron says it’s weird to see Goyle thinking. Yeah, like Harry Potter would be such a step up from anyone in that department!
*As if to prove my point, Harry says they forgot to find out where the Slytherin Common room actually is.
*Ron asks a random Ravenclaw if she knows the way to the Slytherin Common Room. It seems like that would be a mistake Harry would make. Only Harry would probably ask a Gryffindor who had been his lab partner for six months.
*Crabbe and Goyle’s feet make more noise because they’re big. Which is why children are always so much more silent on stairs than adults. It’s science!
*Ron, proving how much smarter he is than Crabbe, immediately forgets he’s in another body and starts talking to his brother.
*Percy, unlike Harry, knows even the names of random Slytherins years below him. No wonder he’s evil.
*Hee! Draco and Percy. *goes off into reverie of Maya’s Percy/Draco fic*
*Because Malfoy is present, Harry suddenly thinks of himself as a boy who apologizes to Percy for other peoples’ rudeness.
*Ron corrects Malfoy on Percy’s name, obviously not getting that Malfoy gets Weasley names wrong on purpose.
*Clever Draco watching Percy. If Malfoy wasn’t evil and everything, he would have been a real asset to Harry over the years. Bet he knows exactly what Filch’s relationship with Pince is.
*Malfoy pauses, not remembering the new Slytherin password. Lessee…genocide was last week, and we’ve already run through all Hitler’s top henchman. Oh yes, Pure-blood!
*The carved chairs of Slytherin are far more evil than the squashy armchairs in Gryffindor.
*Is Blaise in any of them? I want to see Blaise and Theo!!!
*Malfoy tells Crabbe and Goyle to wait while he gets something to show them. I really don’t think it’s necessary to say "Wondering what Malfoy was going to show them, Harry and Ron sat down…." What else would they be wondering?
*Well, if they were me they’d be worrying Malfoy would take a long time getting whatever he was getting, but that’s me.
*Lucius has sent Draco a clipping about Arthur Weasley in trouble at work. How very very…creepy of Lucius.
*Interesting that Ron’s face contorts in fury at the idea that his father doesn’t behave as a proper pure-blood Wizard.
*I don’t know why Malfoy’s talking about cover-ups. It’s only a cover up of Harry wants it in the paper.
* If Ginny done a cruel but accurate impression of Colin, Harry would be rolling on the floor.
*Crabbe’s Christmas present to Malfoy this year is a comic he drew himself about Slytherin’s Heir with Malfoy as his sidekick. It’s really good, too. Other Slytherins wanted copies, and now he does one every year.
*For all their talk about how dumb Crabbe and Goyle are, Harry and Ron keep catching Malfoy’s attention by being far slower than his actual friends.
*Malfoy would die if he knew it was Hagrid who was expelled for opening the chamber. Fucking Gryffindors get everything!
*Malfoy’s totally in on the Heir’s plan, really. Only his job is to keep his head down and stay out of it. Which he’s been doing really well so far.
*If Malfoy notices sneakers flying up into luggage racks, I doubt faces turning into silly putty would get by him.
*Ron says he’s going to write to Arthur about the hidden room in the Malfoy house, but I honestly can’t figure out if we’re supposed to assume he did or not several books later.
*Harry says Hermione can just go to the infirmary to be turned human again since Madam Pomfrey never asks too many questions. Err…maybe she ought to start, given what goes on at the school.
*Hermione is of course reluctant to leave the bathroom at all in this state, knowing how obsessed Gryffindors are with looks.
Designated Hero
That would be the kid withholding evidence so that he doesn’t miss his chance to knock out innocent people.
Idiot Picture
Harry will go over all the important things to tell Dumbledore in this scene, but he won’t actually say any of them.
Informed Attributes
Crabbe and Goyle are actually far stupider than Ron and Harry. You’ll have to take our word for it.
James Bond Exposition Rule
This is how you know Draco isn’t a bad guy. He doesn’t follow this rule.
Selling Wood
Ron and Harry both get plank awards for this chapter.
Spring-Loaded Cat
Totally knew what Hermione would be planning and furred Millicent up on purpose. Enemies of the Heir’s cat beware!
Final score: 6
Signs of things to come: Harry is both stupid and reticent. Hermione pushes everybody to follow her plan and then sabotages herself at the last minute. The Hat does not get involved in House Wars. Percy gets no respect. Ginny follows Harry’s lead, even when he doesn’t know it. Harry assumes he’ll get punished for anything while also assuming it’s okay for him to break rules right and left.
*Harry goes to Dumbledore’s office terrified he’s about to be thrown out of school. Harry’s always sure he’s about to be thrown out when he hasn’t done anything, meanwhile he’s got an illegal Potion bubbling in the bathroom and is planning to assault a couple of students as soon as it’s done.
*The Sorting Hat tells Harry he was particularly difficult to place, even though he totally wasn’t. Honestly, does Harry really seem like anything besides a Gryffindor, Slytherin moments aside? Was the Hat really considering Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw? Nice try pretending Harry is so talented he’d have done well in any house, there, JKR. We all know why all your heroes are all in Gryffindor.
*The Hat telling Harry he stands by his words that he would have done well in Slytherin. The hat is not not telling Harry he belongs in Slytherin.
*This is why I love the Hat. Basically this whole conversation is Harry coming in and saying, "Hi, I still need reassurance that I don’t have Slytherin cooties." And the Hat’s like, "Slytherin’s just as good as Gryffindor. Fuck off."
*As a result, Harry feels nauseous. Imagine being put in Slytherin. I think I’d leave, wouldn’t you?
*I love Harry worrying the pet bird’s going to die while he’s in the room. Then he’d be expelled for that too.
*Fawkes is all Gryffindor colors and is really faithful. I demand equally awesome mascots for all Houses. I’m already pissed off that Ravenclaw’s mascot is an eagle.
*Hagrid arrives to be the faithful idiot for Harry again. I’m surprised he doesn’t start casting suspicion on random Slytherins while he’s defending Harry to the death.
*Btw, is anybody going to ask him what he’s doing with that rooster? Or maybe by this time they know they don’t want to know.
*Harry thinks of all the things he ought to tell Dumbledore before not telling him anything, though he doesn’t quite explain exactly why he’s not telling him stuff.
*The school’s in a panic now because two people have been petrified. A few years later nobody can be arsed to care about two murder attempts. Maybe Dumbledore started ordering the House Elves to put something calming in the food.
*Everyone’s scrambling to get on the train home, yet Malfoy is still staying with no explanation as to why, exactly. If I were Lucius I would not trust Draco not to get himself petrified.
*Actually, wait. I’ve probably just solved it. If Draco got petrified it would be better for Lucius. It would make him look innocent and he could go after Arthur even more dramatically.
*Crabbe and Goyle have stayed behind too because they always do whatever Malfoy do. As opposed to Ron and Hermione will never flown off to the Ministry of Magic because Harry is.
*Harry’s glad everyone but them and their victims are staying. You’d think that would make it more likely the three of them would be caught, wouldn’t you? Fewer people who could have knocked Crabbe and Goyle out.
*Ginny I doesn’t find jokes about Harry being the Heir of Slytherin funny either. She even manages to rouse herself enough to say "Oh don’t!" which is almost as good as confessing she thinks she might be behind it all.
*What a match made in heaven those two are. When they’re married they can help each other bury bodies in the cellar to avoid awkward confessions about how they died.
*Btw, the Twins? Just as good at running a joke into the ground as Malfoy apparently. And he doesn’t manufacture fake poop.
*Ron thinks Draco’s annoyed by Fred and George because he’s bursting to say he’s the Heir. I think he may be looking at them thinking, "My god, am I that annoying when I carry on a joke too long? Nah. My Dementor impressions kill!"
*I still can’t believe I’ve had people actually argue to me that Malfoy is behind everyone thinking Harry is the Heir. Not just because Malfoy clearly doesn’t want people thinking that, but because it’s kind of the whole plot of the book how Harry actually comes under suspicion.
*Fred, George and Ginny had chosen not to go to Egypt, because they do everything Harry does.
*Btw, if I were Ginny I think I’d want to get away from the basilisk to make sure I didn’t petrify anyone else, but remember, crushes are higher priority than the other peoples’ lives.
*Hermione comes into the boys’ dorm, because the stairs into it aren’t magically charmed to disappear when the other gender tries to enter. Which is odd because at this school the boys—at least in Gryffindor—are passive, shrinking violets and the girls are a hoard of hormone-crazed harpies chasing after them.
*Okay, I love the Dursleys sending Harry a toothpick, but how on earth do they send it? Did Hedwig just fly on her own to their House and attack them until they sent something? Since when do the Dursleys just send notes to Harry via Hedwig? Hedwig lives at school.
*Harry feels guilty about his Weasley jumper after the thing with the car. I wonder if he also feels guilty about, as far as we know, not giving Molly anything.
*Hagrid’s drunk again. Shock.
*How much would a guy Hagrid’s size have to drink to get wasted? If he gets killed in the next book I hope they do an autopsy so we can get a look at that liver.
*Harry thinks how Malfoy will be getting his comeuppance for daring to make a snide remark about Harry’s jumper later. Err…I mean, Malfoy will be finally brought to justice later under my totally unbiased hand!
*And yet Malfoy’s not the one making somebody’s badge say pinhead, so the Twins still win the Christmas Bully prize.
*Harry and Ron have three helpings of Christmas pudding, which brings them in just under the level of being gluttons like Dudley, Crabbe and Goyle.
*Oh and btw, Hermione says quickly, here are the knock out drops for Crabbe and Goyle. Maybe it’s Hermione who will be getting the comeuppance later.
*Err…how does Hermione think it would work to have Millicent show up in the Slytherin Common Room and announce she’d come back to Hogwarts actually work? They’d spend the whole hour with Malfoy going, "What do you mean you came back? How?" And then after she disappeared they’d all know it wasn’t really Millicent, because she didn’t come back at all.
*Harry and Ron are really worried about Hermione’s plan. Not because they have any trouble with knocking anyone out or stealing their body or spying, but because things could apparently go wrong. To them—not to the Slytherins.
*Crabbe and Goyle have FOUR helpings of trifle. Goddamn pigs.
*Then they eat cupcakes left out on the banister. Which means it’s totally their own fault for getting knocked out.
*Hermione’s stolen larger robes from the laundry—yet apparently missed the dozens of House Elves that would be running it.
*Also, don’t kids have to buy their own robes? Since when are there just "extras" around. Doesn’t Hermione really mean she stole someone else’s?
*I’ll bet when you drink Polyjuice Potion with one of SuperGinny’s hairs in it, it turns a beautiful, sparkly rainbow color and tastes like cherry lime ricky!
*Before we drink the Potion, let’s once more remind everyone how we’re all swapping our own cute figures for inferior, larger bodies.
*I love that they think to get larger clothes, but don’t think to get undressed before switching their bodies.
*Also, there’s no mention of shirts or anything under the robes. And no sign of the notorious pointy hats.
*In fourth year, before the Yule Ball, Draco held an intervention in Slytherin to get rid of Crabbe’s pudding basin haircut.
*Btw, according to Ron Millicent is ugly. I know, the shocks are just relentless in this chapter.
*Ron says it’s weird to see Goyle thinking. Yeah, like Harry Potter would be such a step up from anyone in that department!
*As if to prove my point, Harry says they forgot to find out where the Slytherin Common room actually is.
*Ron asks a random Ravenclaw if she knows the way to the Slytherin Common Room. It seems like that would be a mistake Harry would make. Only Harry would probably ask a Gryffindor who had been his lab partner for six months.
*Crabbe and Goyle’s feet make more noise because they’re big. Which is why children are always so much more silent on stairs than adults. It’s science!
*Ron, proving how much smarter he is than Crabbe, immediately forgets he’s in another body and starts talking to his brother.
*Percy, unlike Harry, knows even the names of random Slytherins years below him. No wonder he’s evil.
*Hee! Draco and Percy. *goes off into reverie of Maya’s Percy/Draco fic*
*Because Malfoy is present, Harry suddenly thinks of himself as a boy who apologizes to Percy for other peoples’ rudeness.
*Ron corrects Malfoy on Percy’s name, obviously not getting that Malfoy gets Weasley names wrong on purpose.
*Clever Draco watching Percy. If Malfoy wasn’t evil and everything, he would have been a real asset to Harry over the years. Bet he knows exactly what Filch’s relationship with Pince is.
*Malfoy pauses, not remembering the new Slytherin password. Lessee…genocide was last week, and we’ve already run through all Hitler’s top henchman. Oh yes, Pure-blood!
*The carved chairs of Slytherin are far more evil than the squashy armchairs in Gryffindor.
*Is Blaise in any of them? I want to see Blaise and Theo!!!
*Malfoy tells Crabbe and Goyle to wait while he gets something to show them. I really don’t think it’s necessary to say "Wondering what Malfoy was going to show them, Harry and Ron sat down…." What else would they be wondering?
*Well, if they were me they’d be worrying Malfoy would take a long time getting whatever he was getting, but that’s me.
*Lucius has sent Draco a clipping about Arthur Weasley in trouble at work. How very very…creepy of Lucius.
*Interesting that Ron’s face contorts in fury at the idea that his father doesn’t behave as a proper pure-blood Wizard.
*I don’t know why Malfoy’s talking about cover-ups. It’s only a cover up of Harry wants it in the paper.
* If Ginny done a cruel but accurate impression of Colin, Harry would be rolling on the floor.
*Crabbe’s Christmas present to Malfoy this year is a comic he drew himself about Slytherin’s Heir with Malfoy as his sidekick. It’s really good, too. Other Slytherins wanted copies, and now he does one every year.
*For all their talk about how dumb Crabbe and Goyle are, Harry and Ron keep catching Malfoy’s attention by being far slower than his actual friends.
*Malfoy would die if he knew it was Hagrid who was expelled for opening the chamber. Fucking Gryffindors get everything!
*Malfoy’s totally in on the Heir’s plan, really. Only his job is to keep his head down and stay out of it. Which he’s been doing really well so far.
*If Malfoy notices sneakers flying up into luggage racks, I doubt faces turning into silly putty would get by him.
*Ron says he’s going to write to Arthur about the hidden room in the Malfoy house, but I honestly can’t figure out if we’re supposed to assume he did or not several books later.
*Harry says Hermione can just go to the infirmary to be turned human again since Madam Pomfrey never asks too many questions. Err…maybe she ought to start, given what goes on at the school.
*Hermione is of course reluctant to leave the bathroom at all in this state, knowing how obsessed Gryffindors are with looks.
Designated Hero
That would be the kid withholding evidence so that he doesn’t miss his chance to knock out innocent people.
Idiot Picture
Harry will go over all the important things to tell Dumbledore in this scene, but he won’t actually say any of them.
Informed Attributes
Crabbe and Goyle are actually far stupider than Ron and Harry. You’ll have to take our word for it.
James Bond Exposition Rule
This is how you know Draco isn’t a bad guy. He doesn’t follow this rule.
Selling Wood
Ron and Harry both get plank awards for this chapter.
Spring-Loaded Cat
Totally knew what Hermione would be planning and furred Millicent up on purpose. Enemies of the Heir’s cat beware!
Final score: 6
Signs of things to come: Harry is both stupid and reticent. Hermione pushes everybody to follow her plan and then sabotages herself at the last minute. The Hat does not get involved in House Wars. Percy gets no respect. Ginny follows Harry’s lead, even when he doesn’t know it. Harry assumes he’ll get punished for anything while also assuming it’s okay for him to break rules right and left.
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no subject
Date: 2007-04-28 01:43 am (UTC)I really didn't get this either, because Hermione turning into Catmione really served no purpose to the plot. She could've just said 'Right guys, take this and go in there. Report back to me later.'
I'm wondering if it's just Hermione feeling that she owes them for being her friend and therefore has to do this messy stuff with them.
Then they eat cupcakes left out on the banister. Which means it’s totally their own fault for getting knocked out.
I don't get why anyone would eat cupcakes on a banister. Surely someone might've...you know...licked them already? :/ I guess it's another demonstration of their evil gluttony.
I seriously wonder about JKR. What's her obsession with food and greed about?I’ll bet when you drink Polyjuice Potion with one of SuperGinny’s hairs in it, it turns a beautiful, sparkly rainbow color and tastes like cherry lime ricky!
Sue-Juice! D: DO NOT WANT!
Is Blaise in any of them? I want to see Blaise and Theo!!!
They don't exist yet. They're just a name in PS until Rowling needs them to be corporeal.
Lucius has sent Draco a clipping about Arthur Weasley in trouble at work. How very very…creepy of Lucius.
I actually think it's kind of cute, in a weird way. 'Here son, have a laugh at this.' I bet it was tucked inside his Christmas card.
If Ginny done a cruel but accurate impression of Colin, Harry would be rolling on the floor.
I need to do that comic. Ginny randomly says 'Phlegm' and the whole common room starts rolling around in hysterics. Soon everyone's begging her to say it again and again...it's the talk of the school. Ah, she's such a wonder, that girl. <3
no subject
Date: 2007-04-28 03:23 am (UTC)I'm wondering if it's just Hermione feeling that she owes them for being her friend and therefore has to do this messy stuff with them.
I have tried to figure out the purpose and can't. I guess maybe she just didn't want to write Hermione in the scene because she'd be too smart about it?
I don't get why anyone would eat cupcakes on a banister. Surely someone might've...you know...licked them already? :/ I guess it's another demonstration of their evil gluttony.
Yeah, they almost have to be like dogs for this plan to work.
I actually think it's kind of cute, in a weird way. 'Here son, have a laugh at this.' I bet it was tucked inside his Christmas card.
It totally was. On one hand I think it's cute that Lucius is sending him clippings. Otoh I'm like dude, I hope there was an actual letter with that and you don't only communicate through "Look how I burned Weasley in the paper again today!"
no subject
Date: 2007-04-28 08:08 am (UTC)I think that's the whole point. We are meant to dislike them although they've never really DONE anything bad - so they are likened to greedy animals. BTW it reminds me of Dudley in GoF, scavanging food (sweets) from the floor. Come to think of it - there should be more Crabbe-Goyle-Dudley-Fics...
no subject
Date: 2007-04-28 11:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-28 05:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-28 08:07 am (UTC)I always thought it mitigated it slightly that it was Christmas, like how in the real world sometimes schools and offices leave out sweets and stuff. (Well, it mitigates the stupidity but NOT THE GREED OF THAT ONE EXTRA DESSERT!!!!! Go stick your finger down your throat, fatty, you disgust me!)
She could've just said 'Right guys, take this and go in there. Report back to me later.'
What I thought was quite funny was that they all stuck to their own sex (well, big surprise for Gryffindors - it's bad enough slumming it as less attractive children without breaking down precious gender lines!) Is Millicent supposed to be a friend of Draco's (she's in the IS) or would it be too hard to do Pansy when those two are closer? Or are all Slytherins BFFs and would tell each other that kind of thing? (LOL, I wouldn't be surprised if Hermione was running off that assumption, anyway - 'I bet if you just announce you're planning a genocide, the whole common room will break into applause and you can escape!')
no subject
Date: 2007-04-28 01:37 pm (UTC)I think it's cute too. That's probably their way of Father-Son Bonding, both of them sharing their common dislike for the Weasleys. They almost seem like friends here, in a way.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-10 07:53 am (UTC)I seriously wonder about JKR. What's her obsession with food and greed about?Well, food and excess in children's lit often seems to be used as a metaphor for sexuality. Crabbe & Goyle therefore have a dedicated fitness regime, and the ladies of
HogwartsSlytherin are all a-flutter at the sight of their tall, muscular frames and rippling abs......especially when Crabbe draws them comics. Bless his evil cotton socks
no subject
Date: 2007-04-28 02:36 am (UTC)Ah, Harry, one day you will learn that you can half-kill any student in the school and still only get detention.
I firmly believe that the Hat just meant it was a tricky choice between Gryffindor and Slytherin. (Harry in Ravenclaw would be an awful thing. He's such a jock.)
Seriously, I cannot imagine why Lucius does not run up to the school and drag his child home. THERE IS A BASILISK IN THE SCHOOL, YOUR SON IS DISASTER-PRONE. Wow, if Narcissa found out, she'd scrag Lucius.
... Draco's impressions do kill. (Ginny's impressions, now...)
Poor Draco. His holidays feature his friends being attacked and poor sartorial choices as far as the eye can see.
I had totally forgotten my Draco/Percy fic. (However, Draco gets names wrong and Harry never knows them = OTP!)
Draco and Percy are both observant and intelligent. Down with them, I say! This isn't the spirit that won the war, you know.
That clipping makes me think sadly that both the Malfoy boys are prone to weird obsessions. Oh Draco, please please do not cut out clippings of Harry once he's married to Ginny and she's got fat (I mean plump, only evil people are fat!) and they have seven kids. You'll have won already, baby.
It pleases me that Harry admitted it was an accurate impression. Malfoy can fly well.
When Ginny does a cruel but accurate but strangely familiar impression of Colin, Harry will roll on the floor. I'm certain. She stole them!
I love the idea of Crabbe the Comic Artiste. He's Dean Thomas without ever dating Ginny Weasley - which makes him obviously better than Dean.
Oh how I love these, glad you are back!
no subject
Date: 2007-04-28 03:28 am (UTC)Like Harry, I appreciate when people think things like that.:-) We had strawberry rasberry margaritas last night, btw. So you were there in spirit!
, Harry, one day you will learn that you can half-kill any student in the school and still only get detention.
It's too bad we didn't get, in HBP, "Harry wondered what he'd been worried about all these years..."
I had totally forgotten my Draco/Percy fic. (However, Draco gets names wrong and Harry never knows them = OTP!)
"Peter" is far closer than Harry will ever get to most kids in his class.
That clipping makes me think sadly that both the Malfoy boys are prone to weird obsessions. Oh Draco, please please do not cut out clippings of Harry once he's married to Ginny and she's got fat (I mean plump, only evil people are fat!) and they have seven kids. You'll have won already, baby.
He'll send fattened, aged-up photos to Harry anonymously at odd moments in decades to come. Harry will toss them in his trunk and take them out at odd moments and worry without knowing why...
It pleases me that Harry admitted it was an accurate impression. Malfoy can fly well.
I know! Any compliment from Harry counts times 10. Point to Draco!
no subject
Date: 2007-04-28 09:38 am (UTC)I think he either wanted to show Dumbledore the dead rooster or, more likely, brought it to the kitchen for house-elves to cook for students.
*Actually, wait. I’ve probably just solved it. If Draco got petrified it would be better for Lucius. It would make him look innocent and he could go after Arthur even more dramatically.
Does Narcissa know about the diary-plot? On the one hand, as his wife she is supposed to know. But I can't believe she would let Draco stay at school at all, if she knew. Remember that other people got petrified and not killed due to plot cheats.
*Fred, George and Ginny had chosen not to go to Egypt, because they do everything Harry does.
Have they really chosen not to go? My theory is that their ticket money went to pay Arthur's 50 Galleons fine. Naturally they were too proud to enlighten Harry to the real reason of their stay.
*I’ll bet when you drink Polyjuice Potion with one of SuperGinny’s hairs in it, it turns a beautiful, sparkly rainbow color and tastes like cherry lime ricky!
Reading the chapter I too tried to imagine what different characters' potions would look like. Imo, Ginny's & Harry's would be Gryffindor fierce blood-red, Voldemort's – green or black and the potion you described best suits Dumbledore with his love for original colors.
*Ron says it’s weird to see Goyle thinking. Yeah, like Harry Potter would be such a step up from anyone in that department!
My unquestionably favorite moment in this chapter: when Harry looked at Ron, bewildered why Hermione wouldn't come out, and got praised by him "That looks more like Goyle, that's how he looks every time a teacher asks him a question". Do you think Harry looks that way every time Snape asks him a question too? Or, may be, even not only Snape?
*Ron asks a random Ravenclaw if she knows the way to the Slytherin Common Room… Harry would probably ask a Gryffindor who had been his lab partner for six months.
I really liked how the girl answered "Our common room? I'm a Ravenclaw". For all she knows they are first years and Ron asked her for directions very politely ["excuse me, we've forgotten the way"]. I thought it would unable our boys to feel on their skin for once how Slytherins are treated by the rest of the school. Naturally this point escaped them altogether. I bet if Harry asked a Gryffindor and got consequently cursed; they would go away, muttering "what a jerk!" without seeing the broader picture either.
*Lucius has sent Draco a clipping about Arthur Weasley in trouble at work. How very very…creepy of Lucius.
I bet he gets on Narcissa's nerves with his incessant talk about Arthur as much as Draco got on his, talking about Harry Potter.
*Ron says he’s going to write to Arthur about the hidden room in the Malfoy house, but I honestly can’t figure out if we’re supposed to assume he did or not several books later.
I think he did tell and Arthur went to search there, but didn't find anything since Draco, realizing with whom he had been conversing, warned his father to clean the place from all suspicious objects.
no subject
Date: 2007-04-29 08:51 pm (UTC)That makes so much sense.
no subject
Date: 2007-04-28 01:31 pm (UTC)And many years later, half the fandom still does not understand this.
The school’s in a panic now because two people have been petrified. A few years later nobody can be arsed to care about two murder attempts.
Three. Three murder attempts: Katie, Ron, and Draco. Which makes it worse, really.
Harry feels guilty about his Weasley jumper after the thing with the car. I wonder if he also feels guilty about, as far as we know, not giving Molly anything.
LOL, he'll pay her back by marrying Ginny. Which kinda makes those jumpers and the QWC tickets look more like Ginny's dowry.
How much would a guy Hagrid’s size have to drink to get wasted? If he gets killed in the next book I hope they do an autopsy so we can get a look at that liver
And we thought it was Trelawney who was the drunk staff member. Isn't it kinda creepy how their alcoholism is supposed to be either funny or endearing?
Then they eat cupcakes left out on the banister. Which means it’s totally their own fault for getting knocked out.
*wants to make an analogy with Love Potions and GHB consumption, but brain breaks as a result*
Btw, according to Ron Millicent is ugly. I know, the shocks are just relentless in this chapter
What, isn't Hermione going to extol her good qualities here like she did for Eloise Midgen? And why is she really surprised when Ron makes comments about Eloise's appearance in GoF? Oh, wait, that was just part of her plan to get with Ron. Smart girl, that Hermione.
Harry says Hermione can just go to the infirmary to be turned human again since Madam Pomfrey never asks too many questions. Err…maybe she ought to start, given what goes on at the school.
Um, how does she treat the students' problems without asking questions and y'know: determining the cause? I'm pretty sure Madam Pomfrey knows exactly how Hermione got into this state, and figured out she stole from Snape's stores. How much d'you wanna bet Hermione got off the hook for being Harry Potter's friend?
no subject
Date: 2007-04-28 10:35 pm (UTC)Assault committed by the righteous chosen one is no sin but a boon. We should be glad that the chosen one has dirty tricks up his sleeve.
*Fred, George and Ginny had chosen not to go to Egypt, because they do everything Harry does.
*Btw, if I were Ginny I think I’d want to get away from the basilisk to make sure I didn’t petrify anyone else, but remember, crushes are higher priority than the other peoples’ lives.
I remember being a young stalker in love with my victim. Absolutely nothing could keep me from his vicinity. Not even a cease and desist order from the police. You know how we girls in love are. *wink wink*
no subject
Date: 2007-04-29 05:12 pm (UTC)This might be a clever bit of misdirection on JKR's part. Since Harry's always blaming himself for bad things he didn't do, like the assault on Arthur in OotP, we don't notice the amount of bad things he does do without any qualms at all.
*Harry feels guilty about his Weasley jumper after the thing with the car. I wonder if he also feels guilty about, as far as we know, not giving Molly anything.
I can't seem to find the passage where Harry gives Ron and Hermione their gifts, either. Which is slightly odd because it's such an obvious opportunity to show Harry pulling his head out of his ass and being thoughtful. Generosity isn't a major virtue in JKR's book, it seems.
And yet Malfoy’s not the one making somebody’s badge say pinhead, so the Twins still win the Christmas Bully prize.
They must have wet themselves with joy the year after when Percy became Head Boy and they could pull the same hilarious gag on his new badge. The classics never pall.
It's this kind of thing, incidentally, that makes me doubt that F&G are true tricksters. My idea of a trickster is an ambiguous figure with a cruel streak who has his own agenda, is frequently the underdog and gets out of scrapes by his wits and cleverness. F&G come across as a pair of thugs with a taste for practical jokes. Being malicious and amoral and playing (trite) pranks doesn't make you Coyote or Loki.
-L
no subject
Date: 2009-02-09 09:43 pm (UTC)I don't get it, shouldn't Crabbe and Goyle be aristocrats of some sort? Why a pudding-basin, something associated with people so poor their mother had to cut their hair?
no subject
Date: 2009-02-09 09:57 pm (UTC)