Much more summary goodness :)

[jollityfarm.livejournal.com]

*Harry wonders about the headmaster over the coming weeks. Specifically, whether Dumbledore has forgotten all about him. Oh Harry, nobody could forget about you. Not with all those tantrums you keep having - "Best give Harry some time, we don't want another piss-fit like last year. Remember the allcaps tantrums?"

*In the meantime, Harry is gaining valuable insights from his beloved HBP and the wonderful scribbly textbook. He manages to perform several minor hexes, including one on Crabbe's toenails, whose result was described as "entertaining" (That must have really buggered up his feet, not to mention his socks) and one on Argus Filch's tongue "to general applause" (and not to, say, detention or a telling-off for the caster of said hex by a teacher). Then there is the Muffliato spell, effective at enabling Harry to chatter to Ron in class without being told off. Not that Harry is in any way neglectful of his studies (Hermione continues to refuse all part in this).

*"...the Prince had proved a much more effective teacher than Snape so far." Oh, shush.

*Harry levitates Ron, who decides by mid-morning of the next day that this was actually hillarious. I'm not sure if this is meant to be another Ron-so-pathetic moment, or to indicate Ron's strength of character in that he can laugh off any attempt at ABH, unlike the clearly weaker Severus Snape back in the summer of '76

*Hermione insists on spells being "Ministry of magic approved". Are we not supposed to be rageing against that particular machine? Is that not what Gryffindorish rebels do? The contradictions!

*Although I am quite pleased at Hermione for pointing out that dangling people upside-down was also something the Death Eaters have done. At least someone can part-way make the connection.

*Ron claims that his whole family are blood-traitors! Well, aside from the fact that they're all pure-bloods and they no longer talk to the only squib in the family. But they totally didn't kill any Muggles, which makes them dirty Muggle-lovers! Really!

*Anyway, Harry gets a letter from Ginny, but actually from Dumbledore. See, how could you think he'd forgotten you, Harry? Curiously, Ginny is not yet causing him any funny behaviour in his tummy. You'd think he'd have noticed she was the love of his life by now, and got all humourously awkward when he thought the letter was actually from Ginny for a few seconds.

*In Hogsmeade, they spot Professor Slughorn and his terribly stylish cossack get-up. He certainly likes his clothes. I won't mention the fact that he's in Honeydukes ("occupying at least a quarter of the shop") and omg HE EATS A LOT DID I MENTION THE FAT FAT FATTY FAT. Oh wait...

*We get another glimpse of Aberforth Dumbledore, standing about with Mundungus Fletcher. Clearly, theirluvissoshifty. Of course, Harry doesn't know that's Aberforth. But still - theirluv! Their badly dressed, weirdo LUV!

*Mundungus Fletcher has been looting from Sirius' house and about to sell off all his wossnames. Eagle-eyed readers will remember Dung contemplating this near the beginning of OotP, but the place has only been properly empty recently. Anyway, in a burst of stupid swoon-worthy machismo, Harry gives Dungus teh_throttle, but Dung gives him the slip. Which is to say, he Disapparates.

*Luckily, Tonks appears from Out Of Nowhere to remind us that she's still sad and woebegone. If this was my story, she would have been killed in OotP. Actually, let's assume she was, since she adds bugger-all to this entire book.

*Coming out of the Three Broomsticks, Harry et al witness a cursed necklace attack Katie Bell. It's such an odd scene that I had to read it more than once the first time around to make sure I knew what was going on. While all this drama is going on, Harry makes sure to mention Draco and his sure involvement with the scene. Hermione and Ron seem sceptical, a sure sign that Harry is Right. It's a bit like the X-Files, in a way.

*Indeed, upon suggesting this theory to Professor McGonnagal, similar scepticism results. When will teachers learn to listen to plucky kids? They're always in the right!

Comments

[q-spade.livejournal.com]

A theory that drives me crazy not because it wouldn't be more interesting to have something other than lovesickness going on with Tonks, but because people are acting like it's actually got evidence in canon beyond "I want it to be this way."

To each one's own, I suppose.

I can only speak for myself when I say I'm not actually that arsed if Tonks is Tonks or some other member of the Black family in disguise. It makes sense to me that a dysfunctional, dying family of rank would interact in a dysfunctional, elitist way under pressure – making use of a lesser-ranked family member to serve a higher-ranked one undergoing a crisis – but that's my interest in Greek Drama coming to the fore, I guess. I'm not deeply invested in being "right" about the subject, but perhaps other people you've come across are.

I'd think Tonks' lack of metamorphosis at those moments when she has close proximity to Draco is more the reason why those who like the Polyjuice or Imperius theories feel they make sense than "the fact that her hair is wet after standing in the sleet"... but then again, I only speak for myself. I'm clearly looking for sense where there IS none, and having fun in the process. :)

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm sure you're right there. The idea of Tonks being used that way does work from that angle, definitely.

It just drives me crazy when people start arguing backwards, which they always seem to do with any theory. If one is actually trying to argue that JKR wrote that Tonks in HBP was really Draco (meaning that in the next book we're going to find this out and it will be part of the story), for it to be at all convincing you can't argue the way that post argues it. Which is basically to say that arbitrarily, Tonks can't be crying in front of Harry, can't care that much about Remus to show up at Hogwarts, can't ask Harry if he's heard from Remus in a roundabout way, can't have wet hair when standing outside in the sleet, therefore if she does any of these things, it's a hint that she's this other person, who is then also re-written to fit this idea. Some of the op's responses are then turning it around, as if it's the job of other people to prove this theory couldn't be true, instead of the other way around.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

So Draco/Remus is canon?
...Interesting.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Now THAT'S the best reason to believe that theory I've heard yet! Hurray!