HBP Chapter Nine

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*This is the trouble with characters who live together. You have to come up with artificial breaks in conversation. Why would Harry keep quiet about Malfoy’s boasts until before breakfast the next morning? Was there some more important piece of gossip to discuss? Did Ginny go on a date?

* Ron’s the most skeptical about Malfoy’s plot. Usually it’s Hermione who dismisses Malfoy the most, but if Hermione and Ron are both going to be wrong, Ron will at least be more wrong than Hermione.

*Ron snaps at a first year and laughs when it scares him. OMG abusing his Prefect’s powers!

*Hermione confiscates a fanged Frisbee from a fourth year. Amazingly, the fourth year does not tell her to "Step off, bitch!"

* Right out of the gate the narrator makes it clear how shallow and Not True the Ron/Lavender love is. See how Ron’s looking pleased with himself? You never want to be with a girl who makes you feel that way! (Which is not to be confused with having a girlfriend who points out your righteousness to others and hexes them when they don’t kneel quickly enough at your feet.)

*Nobody in their year wants to continue CoMC. This has nothing to do with Hagrid’s teaching being bad. It’s just the subject that sucks. What kind of person would find taking care of animals like dragons at all interesting? I spent two years at zoo camp as a kid myself and the whole time we were petting the mountain lion cubs and riding elephants and camels I was thinking damn, why couldn’t I have gone to Arithmancy camp?

*Hermione shoots through her scheduling with McGonagall while Neville sticks around so that the fact his grades are not as good as Hermione’s, Ron’s or Harry’s can register on his round face. This in no way suggests fat thicko. What books are you reading?

*McGonagall announces Neville’s Gran should start appreciating the grandson she’s got instead of the one she wishes she had, particularly since he had the sense to hurl himself into battle with Harry at the Ministry last year. Many people consider this a kick ass McGonagall moment. Me, I’d be totally humiliated by having my teacher announce that the fact my grandmother doesn’t like me is common knowledge.

*McGonagall then reveals that Neville’s grandmother’s dislike of Charms is, of course, merely covering up her own inadequacy in the subject. Yes, every brief exchange reveals more and more dysfunction in the Longbottom family. All that’s really left is for Neville to reveal that Gran caught him touching himself once and transfigured his willy into peppermint candy.

*Parvati gets a cameo to remind us she’s a boy-crazy airhead who’s dropped her favorite female teacher in favor of a sexy professor whose genitals she’s actually seen in class. Why hasn’t anyone written fic where Parvati has an affair with Firenze? Dogs and wolves aren’t the only flavor of bestiality you know!

*Ron is quickly cleared for the same subjects as Harry, without the fanfare and compliments. Ron then also displays more excitement over the same timetable. One day scientists will isolate the sidekick gene so everyone can have their own Ron Weasley.

*So Harry walks around wearing a captain’s badge 24/7? And I’m not supposed to laugh?

*Apparently you’re supposed to try out for Quidditch every year because teams are ruined by people playing the same players or their friends. Of course we already know that because of the way Harry’s had fresh tryouts every year. Or not.

*Meanwhile someone hits the reset button on Ron, who ended last season carried out on the shoulders of his teammates, and is now right back where he started, in danger of being cut so that Harry can struggle with Captainly Responsibility. Way to take one for the team, Ron. Again.

*Funny how Malfoy’s still coasting on those brooms from when he was 12 isn’t it? Funny or, you know, proof he didn’t bribe his way onto the team to begin with.

*Is the fact that Hermione looks “put upon” by loads of homework a clue that she’s going to be focusing more on boys this year?

*One would think from the narration that the kids don’t like Snape’s DADA classroom but it sounds like Goth heaven! Go Snape!

*Snape finally gets to perform his Introduction to DADA speech. Not since Susan Lucci finally won her Daytime Emmy has a person looked forward to a speech more.

*Yeah, you *believe* we’ve had five DADA teachers as if you haven’t watched them all come and go, Snape, hoping you’d be next, thinks Harry scathingly.

*Well, not so much “scathingly” as “obviously.”

*Or maybe “expositionally.”

*Or maybe trying to be scathing but you’ve just got nothing. Just shut up and take class, Harry.

*Snape begins class. Harry is off and judging.

*I’m going to assume everyone in the class has just learned over the years to let Hermione answer everything, because I can’t believe nobody can think of an advantage to a non-verbal spell without looking it up.

*Harry gets a pass, of course, because if he answered he’d have to say, "So you can call for help when Malfoy’s petrified you?"

*Malfoy, at this point in the year, is apparently still his old Snape fanboy self. I wonder if he later resents Snape at all for being one of his DE role models.

*So not all wizards can do non-verbal spells. Yes! Another chance for Harry to make the cut. He’s got "mind power," whatever the hell that is. It sounds like it popped in from a 50s sci-fi movie. Wizards really don’t do mind-power.

*We’re reminded Harry’s taught half the class how to do Protego. This seems to have no bearing whatsoever on what’s going on, except to tell us that Harry’s totally as cool as Snape. Maybe he should be teaching!

*Harry’s not the first person to do a non-verbal spell in class, despite his prodigy-like DADA skillz, probably because he’s too busy judging Snape. Why does Hermione not get 20 points for doing the exercise? Why, you bastard?!

*Harry tells Snape there’s no need to call him Sir, the funniest, most awesomest, wittiest joke anyone has ever said to a teacher. And Harry totally just made it up. Pay no attention to the dozens of movies and TV shows and kids in junior high that have used this joke before. Off now, and makest thou icons of the jest!

*Btw, Snape was amazingly normal in this scene. I wonder if there’s a reason.

*Harry begins to pronounce judgment on Snape (He tried to jinx him, for god sakes. In a jinxing class! What’s he playing at?!!). Hermione disarms him with flattery. Once again I wonder how Hermione gets an EE in DADA when she just not only proved that in this class, as in all others, she does everything right and everything first, but showed "bravery and quick thinking" in knowing how to disarm Harry in full snit.

*Dumbledore gives Harry a letter with the p.s. "I enjoy Acid Pops." I’m about to make some comment on the consistently pathetic idea of code in the WW, when poor Ron is roped into moron duty and loudly doesn’t get it.

*Ron suggests Harry will be learning spectacular hexes and jinxes that DEs don’t know. Hermione says those things are illegal. Silly Hermione, if Dumbledore was teaching them and Harry was using them how could they be illegal?

*Hermione says he’s more likely learning Defensive Magic, which we know from last year means that he will be teaching Harry spectacular hexes and jinxes that DEs don’t know but are called “counter-hexes” to pretend they’re defensive.

*Harry and Ron do Snape’s homework, which is really complex. Unlike his class, which basically came down to doing stuff you do every single day, only this time instead of talking you just think the word. Btw, not to brag, but I read that part in the book TOTALLY WITHOUT MOVING MY LIPS!!!

*Harry likes Ernie MacMillan despite his pompous manner. If you’re listening Zach Smith, Harry is perfectly willing to overlook small personality flaws if you show total loyalty and admiration to him.

*Ernie says Snape taught a good class. This does not in any way suggest that Snape is not considered a horrible, unacceptable teacher by the school at large. After all, Ernie is a Hufflepuff and also pompous. What does he know about good classes?

*Before they can talk to Ernie Slughorn enters the room, preceded by a fat joke.

*Slughorn then begins furiously favoritism-ing. This will be vigorously defended throughout fandom as totally not favoritism.

*For some reason the seating arrangements are given a slightly judgmental subtext. Although Harry, Ron and Hermione have never once considered sitting apart since they became friends, and certainly have never considered sitting with non-Gryffindors, we’re told the Slytherins and the Ravenclaws segregate themselves leaving the Gryffindors to sit with Ernie. Hey, they tried to unite the houses there, but those awful Ravenclaws and Slytherins are too backward thinking. And they let Ernie sit with them! Because they have a free chair!

*Harry sits next to the Amortentia and smells treacle tart, the wood of a Quidditch broom, and something flowery he might have smelled at the Burrow, probably in the bathroom right after Ginny had urinated.

*Btw, Malfoy=Quidditch brooms. H/D OTP!!

*Harry and Ron are the only ones who need books. Looks like Snape pretty much kicked arse on the OWLS.

*Harry does not resent Hermione getting credit for knowing Polyjuice. After all, she invented Polyjuice back in second year.

*Hermione comes *this close* to telling the class she’s driven to lust by freshly mown grass, new parchment and Ron’s dirty laundry that she rubs all over herself before bed at the burrow.

*Hermione, easy mark that she is, misses that Slughorn is blatantly sucking up to her to get to Harry. She’d sell out in a second if someone would just tell her where to sign.

*You can see why people shipped H/Hr in this scene. Hermione and Harry are both totally suckered by flattery. Of course that’s why Harry winds up with Ginny, because they are both flattered more.

*Malfoy looks the way he did when Hermione punched him in the face. He was sitting in the third row at the Odeon Theater at the time, and was so surprised at the way the movie changed what happened he dropped his popcorn.

*Ron desperately tries to get himself some page time by being vaguely annoyed at the way Hermione fawns all over Harry for his complimenting her. He is ignored, of course. Too bad Crabbe isn’t there to throw him a sympathetic look.

*Draco and Nott smirk skeptically at the idea of love potions being the most powerful, probably because as Slytherins they basically live as if under the influence of the stuff all the time. If points were given for powerful infatuation and obsession Malfoy alone would have won the House Cup for Slytherin every year.

*Btw, will that other obsessive love-ster be Snape? Stay tuned…

*Not that Harry’s been watching Malfoy throughout the class or anything, but the back of his head is quite blond and sleek. It’s the result of his flowery-smelling hair gel.

*Wonder what’s "disastrous" when you get the luck potion wrong.

*If you take too much of it it causes giddiness, recklessness and dangerous overconfidence. No wonder it’s gold and the love potion is mother-of-pearl silvery. Just as Slytherins spend their whole life as if their blood is Amortentia, Felix Felicitas turns you into a Gryffindor.

*Recently some people have been suggesting Felix Felicitas is just a placebo. Why would anyone want to think this in a world where magic obviously exists and the lack of it really does make you inferior and nothing is all in your mind? Mostly cause if FF doesn’t really work, Harry and his friends are more impressive.

*Just in case you weren’t catching that Harry is a big Slytherin in this book, he spends the entire Potions class judging Slughorn’s performance and approving of the effect it has on the class.

*The luck potion’s been banned in sporting events, making me wonder how they test for it exactly. They don’t seem to know about blood or urine tests. Do they just drop pianos on the person and if they get hit they know they were clean?

*Hermione naturally is doing the best with the Potion. It’s amazing the way she’s supposed to be this super smart person, which should be cool, yet she just manages to reduce every class to something tedious. It’s like watching someone polish a floor well over and over. If Hermione were in the Muggleworld, I can totally see her being an office manager.

*Malfoy gives the family name a shot in desperate circumstances. Harry thinks that Malfoy, unlike himself, will have to rely on his talent to win the Felix Felicitas. This was the moment in the book when I knew Malfoy really did have a chance in life. Woo hoo!

*I wouldn’t be surprised if Lily’s great talent in Potions wasn’t invented in Slughorn’s head the moment Slughorn saw Harry’s Potion.

*And so begins the weirdest story of cheating ever. Harry totally has an unfair advantage in that everyone else is using the wrong instructions, yet he’s still following instructions, so what’s the problem? Basically the problem is more in the plotline than what Harry is doing.

*What Snape at least proves in this chapter is that one can be a brilliant student in an HP book and not be a bore like Hermione.

*Ron of course sees Harry as doing the right thing. He took a risk and it paid off, which is the greatest thing a Gryffindor can do. Ron kindly refrains from pointing out that Harry’s last risk didn’t pay off quite so well. Oh well, the Felix Felicitas pretty much makes up for the death of what’s his face.

*Ginny appears, reeking of flowers. Harry decides his super turn-on is cheap eau de gardenia from Woolworths. Mystery solved! Now he knows who he’s attracted too—and it’s totally a girl! Go Harry!

*Ginny and Hermione really are kind of idiots here. The notes gave Harry a better way to get juice out of a bean, for chrissakes. They didn’t tell him to shoot the president.

*Harry drops the book and sees a name written on the inside cover. Most kids, of course, when handed a used textbook immediately check for a name to see if they know the person who owed it, but Harry’s total disinterest in students other than himself spans generations.

*Anyway, Harry’s book announces, "This book belongs to a total geek who gave himself a painfully stupid superhero nickname."





Designated Hero
Thrill as Harry cheats, judges and smugs his way through another thrilling chapter!

IITS
So if all the Potions textbooks in the past were wrong, why don’t they change them? And how has anyone made the Potions before? IITS!

Also, wasn’t Ron the team hero last we saw? IITS!

Informed Attributes
Wow! Hermione sure does earn those points, doesn’t she? By answering questions that sound…really really basic. She’s got mind power!

Ken and Andrew’s Rule of Plot Holes
See IITS.

Misdirected Answering
I’m sure there are people who don’t give a damn what classes Neville Longbottom is taking. As it happens I’m not one of them, but I’m giving the point anyway.

Final score: 5.5

Comments

[q-spade.livejournal.com]

McGonagall announces Neville’s Gran should start appreciating the grandson she’s got instead of the one she wishes she had, particularly since he had the sense to hurl himself into battle with Harry at the Ministry last year. Many people consider this a kick ass McGonagall moment. Me, I’d be totally humiliated by having my teacher announce that the fact my grandmother doesn’t like me is common knowledge.

OMG yes. Neither character comes out looking well here, and it's more a cringe-inducing than empowering moment. We've come a long way since OOTP, Longbottom. A long way down.

Parvati gets a cameo to remind us she’s a boy-crazy airhead who’s dropped her favorite female teacher in favor of a sexy professor whose genitals she’s actually seen in class.

Shall we insert our "hung like a horse" jokes here?

What about the kidz, Scholastic? ;)

Harry and Ron do Snape’s homework, which is really complex.

Holy shit! They're actually attempting to do their own bloody homework??? Where are my smelling salts?

Excuse me as I collapse in a faint from shock.

Malfoy looks the way he did when Hermione punched him in the face. He was sitting in the third row at the Odeon Theater at the time, and was so surprised at the way the movie changed what happened he dropped his popcorn.

This is why publishing houses have editors and proofreaders. And this is why they drink. Heavily.

Because when stupid, glaring, obvious flaws like this come out in print, they get blamed. Not the overrated author who made the fuckup in the first place. Nor the marketing department who probably decided to skimp on editing & proofing so as to get the damn book out ASAP and cash in on the golden goose before kids books become passé and people spend their money on something else.

Btw, will that other obsessive love-ster be Snape? Stay tuned…

No, dammit – NO. I've switched off. Arrgh, the idea of Severus pining away year after year for Harry's dead Mum is just so fucking ludicrous. Even the potential for creepy necrophilia fails to pique my interest. For fuck's sake, couldn't they just be FRIENDS?

Recently some people have been suggesting Felix Felicitas is just a placebo.

She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie...Cocaine. (http://community.livejournal.com/deathtocapslock/5552.html?thread=120240#t120240)

That's my take on FF, and I'm still sticking to it.

If Hermione were in the Muggleworld, I can totally see her being an office manager.

OI! Them's fighting words, sistermagpie! THIS office manager won't be taking that lying down! ;)

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

Why would Harry keep quiet about Malfoy’s boasts until before breakfast the next morning?

Not sure why we get this rehash at all, anyway, since we hear nothing we didn't already know, except that Hermione is undecided and cannot yet offer us Her Wisdom. Which would be coldly logical and inaccurate next to Harry's feelings, which come from The Heart, anyway.
(Why does she think Malfoy wouldn't tell a big lie, anyway? It's Pansy, ZOMG STUPID WHOREBITCHRETARD, why would he respect her intelligence? Especially when Hermione doesn't?
And wasn't it them who spent half PoA/GoF bitching about it's a total lie that Hagrid would screw anything up, damn that devious sociopathic Malfoy, he invents this stuff!)
I do love that Harry can't continue his conversation because of all the people eavesdropping around him, the centre of their world. What, like, how no-one can have a discussion without the Trio listening in, you mean?

Usually it’s Hermione who dismisses Malfoy

She is, though - she thinks he's exaggerating himself as more important, Ron thinks he's showing off for Pansy.

but if Hermione and Ron are both going to be wrong, Ron will at least be more wrong than Hermione.

Isn't it Ron Harry makes sure to say 'I told you so!' to later? (Probably a wise decision, it really wouldn't be worth the psychotic rage it would inflame in either himself or Hermione.)

OMG abusing his Prefect’s powers!

Yeah, I can't believe Harry didn't react to this, since he's so hot on how Prefects should comport themselves. And a defender of the underdog!

Right out of the gate the narrator makes it clear how shallow and Not True Ron/Lavender is.

Note that she's laughing at his joke - like Pansy, the sycophant! (lucky Ron's going to end up with the humourless wonder.)
And that she's macking on him - it can only end in tears! Hers, of course, for having so little dignity.

See how Ron’s looking pleased with himself? You never want to be with a girl who makes you feel that way!

I looked up Lavender for this, cause I could have sworn there was some reference to her liking him more post MoM (apparently not, though!) and I like how later, she's cheering him on at Quidditch, while Hermione's doing the amused mother bit of 'Yes, yes, you were great.' Well, screw you, Lavender! Confunded anyone lately? Because not being willing to hex someone for your boyfriend just confirms how you'll never be as feminist as Hermione and Ginny.

Which is not to be confused with having a girlfriend who points out your righteousness to others and hexes them when they don’t kneel quickly enough at your feet.

Yeah, but that's Harry. He needs a girl sharp enough to recognise his awesomeness; whereas Ron is flawed, and needs a girl willing to tell him how to improve himself.

What kind of person would find taking care of animals like dragons at all interesting?

Be fair, these isn't a house full of nurturers. Killing dragons, yes. Having to actually care for another living creature's well-being? Not so much.
Didn't Hermione go off on one about how fascinating dragons were in GoF? Oh, wait, that was to shut up Malfoy. What a shame he didn't sign up for CoMC, then the Gryffindors would have had a reason to.

This in no way suggests fat thicko. What books are you reading?

Yeah, but he's so brave that he overcomes his fat, and he knows he sucks as he is. Like how Krum's nice, so we can forgive him for being foriegn, since it's not his fault he was unlucky enough to be born elsewhere.
Why, Harry condescended to spend time with Neville earlier - could a greater compliment be paid?

Many people consider this a kick ass McGonagall moment.

People consider every moment of McGonagall to be kickass.
I like how this ties in with the Elkins essay - McG announces how it's okay for Mrs Longbottom to be proud of Neville now he's proved himself by trying to keep up with the kids she'd prefer as grandsons. Not because he's okay as he is, or good at Herbology, or because he's kind to his parents. Nope, you learnt hexes and got into fights, Neville! You're a man now.

[jollityfarm.livejournal.com]

Hermione confiscates a fanged Frisbee from a fourth year. Amazingly, the fourth year does not tell her to "Step off, bitch!"

Hermione is just that amazing. Yet again, I see a sliver of wish fulfilment going on here - Rowling was a prefect when she was at school, was she not? I am vaguely amused at the idea of her trying to boss the bad kids about and having them LOL at her :)

See how Ron’s looking pleased with himself? You never want to be with a girl who makes you feel that way!

What you want is someone who spends all her time playing mind games and initiating arguments instead of being straightforward with the boy she likes best. Approaching someone with no funny business is the mark of a slut :(

This in no way suggests fat thicko. What books are you reading?

There now follows a fandom argument about whether "round-faced" = fat. Incorporated is the argument about whether "thick-set" = fat. It will last until the end of all time.

All that’s really left is for Neville to reveal that Gran caught him touching himself once and transfigured his willy into peppermint candy.

Oh god, I can't help imagining him trying to eat it now. My brain! Though I think she might just encase it in spines or something. Like a pineapple, only not so tasty XP

Parvati gets a cameo to remind us she’s a boy-crazy airhead who’s dropped her favorite female teacher in favor of a sexy professor whose genitals she’s actually seen in class.

Did they choose or were they just assigned one or the other? Anyway, poor Trelawney :(

So Harry walks around wearing a captain’s badge 24/7? And I’m not supposed to laugh?

I can imagine Harry getting one of those useless "employee of the month" trophies at work and proudly displaying it on his desk. Employee of the motherfucking MONTH! If he had a livejournal, it'd be at least one third full of quiz results and memes. IQ result! Right here!

I think I'll have more later :)

[j-lunatic.livejournal.com]

*McGonagall announces Neville’s Gran should start appreciating the grandson she’s got instead of the one she wishes she had, particularly since he had the sense to hurl himself into battle with Harry at the Ministry last year. Many people consider this a kick ass McGonagall moment. Me, I’d be totally humiliated by having my teacher announce that the fact my grandmother doesn’t like me is common knowledge.

Is it too late in the series for Neville to do a Columbine-style shootup on his classmates? Although it does create a smidge of suspense for Book 7 -- will Neville save the day with something he learned in Charms, or will there be a catastrophic failure because he wasn't allowed to take NEWT-level Transfiguration? And does anyone beside Neville fangirls like me care?

*McGonagall then reveals that Neville’s grandmother’s dislike of Charms is, of course, merely covering up her own inadequacy in the subject. Yes, every brief exchange reveals more and more dysfunction in the Longbottom family. All that’s really left is for Neville to reveal that Gran caught him touching himself once and transfigured his willy into peppermint candy.

When you put it this way, it does rather support my theory that McGonagall and Gran Longbottom are cousins, or just possibly sisters -- try and catch either of them favoring Neville, rather than tearing him a new one.

*Parvati gets a cameo to remind us she’s a boy-crazy airhead who’s dropped her favorite female teacher in favor of a sexy professor whose genitals she’s actually seen in class. Why hasn’t anyone written fic where Parvati has an affair with Firenze? Dogs and wolves aren’t the only flavor of bestiality you know!

Ewwww...het.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

McGonagall then reveals that Grandmother’s dislike of Charms is, of course, merely covering up her own inadequacy.

Funnily enough, her and Hermione's dislike of Divination is nothing to do with them not being good at it (heaven forbid!)

Parvati gets a cameo to remind us she’s a boy-crazy airhead who’s dropped her favorite female teacher in favor of a sexy professor.

Well, that's female solidarity for you. (Did Rowling's husband like, have an affair with her BFF, or what?
Seriously, I think for women who have a relationship not centred around men/secondary to men, we have...arguably Lavender and Parvati, and the Delacour sisters?)

Why hasn’t anyone written fic where Parvati has an affair with Firenze?

As Hermione, the expert on prejudice, so brilliantly explained, he's just a 'horse'. Besides centaurs may not Mate for Life.
(I've seen Draco/Firenze and Ron/Firenze, though. It was actually wicked, someone should totally do centaur!het.)

So Harry walks around wearing a captain’s badge 24/7? And I’m not supposed to laugh?

I'm sure he's totally modest about it, unlike Ron and Draco with their various iconography. (I'm surprised the ultra macho house encourages badge-wear, even if it is to show how great you are at sport. It's one step from there to jewellery/caring about your appearance in anyway, then you become a homo/Slytherin.)

Apparently you’re supposed to try out for Quidditch every year because teams are ruined by people playing the same players or their friends.

Katie seems to have an unbiased, clear-headed view of how to run a Quidditch team. No leadership skills here, then. (She'd probably listen to people with comments about the gameplans, rather than saying 'I'm Captain, me, me, me!' Prft, girls.) Are we even sure she's in the right house?

Of course we already know that because of the way Harry’s had fresh tryouts every year. Or not.

Yeah, but there could be no one out there more talented than Harry.

in danger of being cut so that Harry can struggle with Captainly Responsibility.

Now the rightful hero of the team's back in town! (No mention of Ginny and her prodigious skills here, either? It's almost like Harry doesn't care about her unless she's right in front of him.) Sorry, Ron, no sharing in any glory (let alone personal) this time.

Or maybe trying to be scathing but you’ve got nothing.

I know! It's like 'Um...good one?' Harsh burn, Harry. You're more scathing talking to Ron.

Btw, Malfoy=Quidditch brooms.

LOL. As noted here: “Harry dropped his gaze to his treacle tart, his insides burning again. What he would give to fight Malfoy one-on-one”. The treacle tart has many forms... ;)
http://mpuppet.livejournal.com/29623.html

Slughorn enters the room, preceded by a fat joke.

STOP SUPPRESSING ROWLING'S RIGHT TO FREE SPEECH!

After all, she invented Polyjuice.

I'm so glad that the Trio have benefitted once more from drugging students unconscious, imprisoning them, and stealing their bodies. I was worried they'd gotten their last hurrah for that in OotP, and I like to see credit where it's due.

Malfoy looks the way he did when Hermione punched him in the face. He was sitting at the Odeon at the time, and was so surprised at the way the movie changed what happened he dropped his popcorn.

Be fair, Magpie. The trouble is, of course, that women fancy Tom Felton (you're a woman, you know what it's like. The terrible confusion I have sometimes, wondering if all actors are in fact, the character they're portraying... I mean, I saw Legolas in the documentary LOTR, but then there was this other screen showing him as a totally different guy, with a beard, and on a pirate ship! WTF?!) but Draco is NOT Tom Felton!
It's an easier mistake to make than Rowling thought, apparently.

Draco and Nott smirk skeptically

Even though they're totally enemies, because Nott doesn't need a gang, and is clever, and doesn't buy into evil bullies like Draco's spell, and is planning to save all the other Slytherins from his tyranny! *breathes through mouth* The fact that Nott has been mentioned thrice, always with Draco, is just underlining this! Nott for MoM!

[mizbean.livejournal.com]

Malfoy, at this point in the year, is apparently still his old Snape fanboy self. I wonder if he later resents Snape at all for being one of his DE role models.

I have nothing snarky to add to this yet, but this just reminds me of how I've been itching to read a really good Draco-centric sixth year fic.

*Ron is quickly cleared for the same subjects as Harry, without the fanfare and compliments. Ron then also displays more excitement over the same timetable. One day scientists will isolate the sidekick gene so everyone can have their own Ron Weasley.

*hearts* Ron. I need a sidekick too.

*Anyway, Harry’s book announces, "This book belongs to a total geek who gave himself a painfully stupid superhero nickname."

So true, but oddly I can see Snape being such a misfit in school that he'd to this. If he were a Muggle, he'd be a gamer with a really stupid-sounding avatar.

[ackonrad.livejournal.com]

Malfoy looks the way he did when Hermione punched him in the face. He was sitting in the third row at the Odeon Theater at the time, and was so surprised at the way the movie changed what happened he dropped his popcorn.

With the risk of making myself unpopular, I have to sort of defend JKR here. It's a glaring mistake, I agree, but I've experienced often enough how easy it is to oversee a glaring mistake like that whenever your own work is concerned. Somehow, it's much easier to notice something like that whenever you're editing something someone else's written. While I was still writing TRotT, I often enough had to check up certain details in previous chapters, because I'd completely forgotten about them, even though I was the one who invented them and wrote them. When rereading some of my older original stories (I don't have the nerve to reread my old HP fics), I often can't help but ask myself, 'Dear God, I wrote that? What was I thinking?'

Anyway, I don't blame JKR as much for that mistake as her editors, because this is what they are there for - to catch things the author has overlooked or forgotten. I guess that it's been just the way q_spade said - they've been too much in a hurry to release the book and get their money and haven't edited it the way they should have, just like OotP wasn't edited the way it should have been. Sadly, they know very well that whatever shit JKR produces, it will sell itself more than well. :-(

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

Ginny and Hermione really are kind of idiots here. The notes gave Harry a better way to get juice out of a bean, for chrissakes. They didn’t tell him to shoot the president.

I do think it's cheating (although I don't see why Ginny's so upset, since the diary happened several personalities ago. Now she'd just scoff at the kind of loser who'd have no friends and Bat Bogey Riddle.) but Ginny and Hermione's arguments kind of suck.
Especially since when it comes out that he learnt how to flay someone from the book, it's become good.

Too bad Crabbe isn’t there to throw him a sympathetic look.

I suppose it would be Misdirected Answering if, instead of hearing what exactly it is about Ginny that smells so great, apart from her fruitful womb; we could find out what Crabbe and Goyle are doing since they didn't get into Potions.

Malfoy gives the family name a shot

Slughorn doesn't sound very sorry at all about Grandpa Malfoy's death. I note this doesn't offend Harry and his Sympathy and Respect for the Dead/Bereaved.

Ginny appears, reeking of flowers.

I thought she was a badass tomboy who scorned pink and girly-girls' shallow fripperies, anyway?

Why does Hermione not get 20 points for doing the exercise? Why, you bastard?!

Didn't we hear from fandom last book that it was only the pathetically petty Slytherins who still focussed on points in a Time of War, and that's it's total coincidence that the first thing McG does after a near-death experience is hobble to fix the points counter, and that points were the reason Montague nearly died?

I’m about to make some comment on the consistently pathetic idea of code in the WW.

Gotta love the drama of having a codeword to get into your headmaster's office. For extra lessons! Couldn't Dumbledore just open the door when Harry knocks? And they say the Gryffindors don't show off and enjoy theatrics.

After all, Ernie is a Hufflepuff and also pompous. What does he know about good classes?

As much as Luna does when she says the Ravenclaws don't rate Hagrid. Look, other houses, when we want your opinion, we'll tell it to you, alright? Now pipe down and make some banners for the next Gryffindor vs. Slytherin game.

Harry does not resent Hermione getting credit for knowing Polyjuice.

How magnanimous!

Draco and Nott smirk skeptically

Don't laugh too hard at obsession, Draco, you'll be feeling the effects of it when you can't even go to the bathroom without Harry looking you up on his map.

Harry totally has an unfair advantage in that everyone else is using the wrong instructions, yet he’s still following instructions

In a bad-ass, anti-authority, sexy risk-taking way.
(I'm amused at pauraque's pointing out the CoS parallel here: 'You've just been taking the credit for what other wizards have done!')

He took a risk and it paid off, which is the greatest thing a Gryffindor can do.

Didn't JKR say something similiar in The Interview? Mentioning the twins? (I'm sure betting your lifesavings is brave, in a way, but let's not romanticise it here.)

Harry tells Snape there’s no need to call him Sir, the funniest, most awesomest, wittiest joke anyone has ever said to a teacher. And Harry totally just made it up. Pay no attention to the dozens of movies and TV shows and kids in junior high that have used this joke before. Off now, and makest thou icons of the jest!

Bwhahaha!

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

I personally wouldn't find this so annoying (I'm not one to go all 'ZOMG, Colin's camera film wouldn't work in Hogwarts!' probably because I don't think terribly logically myself always) if firstly, JKR would just admit she made a mistake occasionally, rather than fanwanking herself: 'Um, there's, like, a gene for Muggleborns, and uh, Flint got held back a year, that's it. Oh, what happened to Harry's map? You ignoramuses, didn't you work out that Harry just snuck in and got it at some point?' and secondly, if she hadn't lectured fandom on confusing Movie!Draco and Book!Draco.

And as for OotP, I heard that apparently there wasn't time for editing beyond the obvious spelling/grammar done to all books because of the late submission (remember the delays over that?) and high demand.
I feel kinda sorry for JKR's editors, myself - I imagine it would be like being Stephen King's. Very little professional pride to be taken in your work.
You could suggest they cut plotlines (*coughs at Grawp*) etc. but when the author is that successful/powerful, they hold all the cards - make enough of a fuss and they could just move to a rival company. Plus you know that even if there's a hundred mistakes, it'll be your best seller all year.
Ditto for deadlines - if they don't feel like writing, it's not like you can threaten not to publish the book.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Shall we insert our "hung like a horse" jokes here?

It was all I could do not to stick one in myself so you could add your own!

That's my take on FF, and I'm still sticking to it.

It does totally work.

OI! Them's fighting words, sistermagpie! THIS office manager won't be taking that lying down! ;)

Okay, hold on while I remove this foot from my mouth.:-) Of course what I really meant by that was that I could totally see Hermione as that very specific office manager I always had to deal with at that one temp job I had for a long time. She could never give an instruction without going through the details of everything from the beginning of time because she liked to hear herself talk. I should apologize to all the office managers I just insulted by over-associating her weirdness with the job title!

[ackonrad.livejournal.com]

I agree that JKR should admit she'd made a mistake with Flint's age and Harry's map, as well as with the entire 'Prefects can/can't dock points' thing. It was quite obvious that all excuses about Flint and Harry's map were made up, and that she totally messed the explanation about Prefects and points up. Everyone can make a mistake, and I'm sure that the fandom would've understood had she admitted it. As I said, I've experienced the same thing myself. Even though it would sound logical for you to remember what you've written, you can't remember every single detail.

And as for OotP, I heard that apparently there wasn't time for editing beyond the obvious spelling/grammar done to all books because of the late submission (remember the delays over that?) and high demand.

I think I read somewhere that JKR herself had admitted the book could've been a little shorter. And I personally would've been happier to wait a little longer for a properly edited book than get what we got. Had I been on JKR's place, I wouldn't have paid attention to the time. Aren't we supposed to do the best we can when it comes to our work?

[(Anonymous)]

Snape was amazingly normal in this scene.

Totally. "These teachers will all have had their own methods and priorities" is an astonishingly restrained summary of Dumbledore's DADA circus: two incompetents, two Death Eaters and a werewolf who went off his meds. (That is, Snape probably agrees with everyone else that Umbridge's emphasis on theory = incompetence.) So… teaching DADA actually brings out the best in him, while genial Slughorn is better for Potions? Way to go, Dumbledore. After fourteen years you got it right.

Harry begins to pronounce judgment on Snape (He tried to jinx him, for god sakes. In a jinxing class! What’s he playing at?!!).

Hee. Also, Harry gets badass points for his amazingly powerful Shield Charm, which he was supposed to produce nonverbally. That's as awesome as winning a sack race by throwing away the sack.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Lily’s great talent in Potions wasn’t invented in Slughorn’s head the moment Slughorn saw Harry’s Potion.

What's the point, if any, of Lily's pastede on Potions skillz? As others have mentioned, if it's supposed to be foreshadowing of a Snape-Lily (or god forbid Snape ->Lily) connection, then the timeline is off. If Lily was a Potions prodigy the time for her to shine would have been in NEWTS class, ie after Snape dropped the M-bomb. Either "Mudblood", while the most horrible racist epithet ever, is forgivable, or they didn't bond over Potions.

-L

[(Anonymous)]

People consider every moment of McGonagall to be kickass.

Maybe they're fangirling her because when it comes to "recurring adult female character with a personality", it's her or Molly Weasley. And everyone loves teh snark, never mind if there's any actual perceptiveness behind it. To me McGonagall comes off as hasty, wrongheaded and rather gullible most of the time, but that's just my gut reaction = what real fans would call wanky overanalyzing.

-L

More!

[jollityfarm.livejournal.com]

Funny or, you know, proof he didn’t bribe his way onto the team to begin with

Draco getting brooms bought for his whole team that one time = cheating. Harry getting a mega-posh broom bought for him because he's just so awesome = simple good fortune. In the meantime, Draco still uses the same Ol' Faithful, but if he got a new shiny broom, Harry would have to get an even better one, possibly with an even more macho name than the one he's got already (I've just had a thought: if Harry had said "Accio Firebolt" that one time in GoF and got a bolt of fire in the face, rather than his broom. That'd learn him...actually, probably not). Anyway, you know the old saying about a bad workman blaming his tools? Well, I think if someone does well, it's about the same thing to be all sour and say it's just because of their equipment.

Snape begins class. Harry is off and judging.

We all know Harry can't hear of someone giving money to charity without judging them. I feel this may be a Gryffindor thing - good works are less important than "bravery" and "a pure heart", whatever that means (no fatty deposits surrounding these ventricles!). Also, if I don't like someone, anything they do is wrong by default! Remember, kids, prejudice is wrong and shouldn't be encouraged.

So not all wizards can do non-verbal spells. Yes! Another chance for Harry to make the cut.

I was pretty amazed to find out that Draco was really and truly going to be better at Occlumency than Harry. Apparently, the publishing-type people queried this. Really - as if Harry wasn't better than Draco at everything else on account of his "pure heart". But yeah, here's another amazing power Harry finds himself able to master. The world continues to turn.

Btw, Snape was amazingly normal in this scene. I wonder if there’s a reason.

DADA didn't bring out the worst in him after all? Or perhaps it brought out other stuff instead. Curious :/

Harry and Ron do Snape’s homework, which is really complex.

I cry salty tears of woe for them, I really do. Perhaps they'd find it a little easier if they'd bothered to pay attention and learn stuff instead of blagging their way through the first five years. No really, Hermione will do everything for everyone. Oh shut up.

This does not in any way suggest that Snape is not considered a horrible, unacceptable teacher by the school at large.

Only evil and wrong people do not agree with Harry on everything. No wonder some people think the stories are just Harry's emo fantasies of how awesome he is. Everything revolves around MEEEEEE.

Slughorn then begins furiously favoritism-ing. This will be vigorously defended throughout fandom as totally not favoritism.

It's only favouritism if it's not Harry. Harry being treated precisely the same as other people is DEEPLY UNFAIR. True!

[galaxianomiko.livejournal.com]

Hermione confiscates a fanged Frisbee from a fourth year. Amazingly, the fourth year does not tell her to "Step off, bitch!"

I always wonder exactly how this is supposed to work, with students as authority figures. I have a hard time imagining a situation where "Step off, bitch!" wouldn't be the usual response (at the schools I've been at, the teachers would have worse than that said/done to them, especially when confiscating things--these kids must be amazingly well-behaved!)

kind of person would find taking care of animals like dragons at all interesting?

Augh word. I don't understand how this is not the coolest class ever, even with Hagrid teaching. At the very least, you're out of the classrooms and moving around.

Or maybe trying to be scathing but you’ve just got nothing. Just shut up and take class, Harry.

WIN!

And so begins the weirdest story of cheating ever. Harry totally has an unfair advantage in that everyone else is using the wrong instructions, yet he’s still following instructions, so what’s the problem?

I was a little confused when people were raging over this just after the book came out...man, books with the answers written in them were coveted posessions when I was in grade school, and in college, it was the highlighted books with notes in the margins.

[ishtar79.livejournal.com]

*McGonagall then reveals that Neville’s grandmother’s dislike of Charms is, of course, merely covering up her own inadequacy in the subject. Yes, every brief exchange reveals more and more dysfunction in the Longbottom family. All that’s really left is for Neville to reveal that Gran caught him touching himself once and transfigured his willy into peppermint candy.

The scary thing is I can sort of picture that incident happening.

Poor Neville. He always gets the short end of the stick. None of which has anything to do with his weight, of *course*, he's just kind of sad and *happens* to be fat.


*Parvati gets a cameo to remind us she’s a boy-crazy airhead who’s dropped her favorite female teacher in favor of a sexy professor whose genitals she’s actually seen in class. Why hasn’t anyone written fic where Parvati has an affair with Firenze? Dogs and wolves aren’t the only flavor of bestiality you know!


Ew, I never thought of that, but EW. This review is just full of genitalia jokes. :D

*Snape finally gets to perform his Introduction to DADA speech. Not since Susan Lucci finally won her Daytime Emmy has a person looked forward to a speech more.

But he does the speeches so well! Probably practiced in his room, in front of the mirror. A black-framed mirror, because we've established that Snape? Is Goth. :P


*Ernie says Snape taught a good class. This does not in any way suggest that Snape is not considered a horrible, unacceptable teacher by the school at large. After all, Ernie is a Hufflepuff and also pompous. What does he know about good classes?

Only Gryffindors are allowed opinions. And Gryffindors who agree with Harry, at that. If he wants them to have an opinion, he'll GIVE IT to them.


*Btw, will that other obsessive love-ster be Snape? Stay tuned…

La-la-la, I am not LISTENING. (Oh God, I hope not...)

[ishtar79.livejournal.com]

No, dammit – NO. I've switched off. Arrgh, the idea of Severus pining away year after year for Harry's dead Mum is just so fucking ludicrous. Even the potential for creepy necrophilia fails to pique my interest. For fuck's sake, couldn't they just be FRIENDS?


The more I think of it (and consider Rowling's history with writing romance), the more convinced I become we won't be spared this vomit-fest. Because God forbid Rowling has to come up with an interesting reason for Snape defecting from the DE. Nah, he did it all for LUUURVE.

She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie...Cocaine.


*dies*

I missed that comment last time around. And yes, totally. It makes a scary amount of sense. XD

[biichan.livejournal.com]

Well, she is a Gryffindor.

Still, I'm fond of her. She's very human.

[sarahtales.livejournal.com]

Btw, will that other obsessive love-ster be Snape? Stay tuned

I will stand alone (bravely. Bravely like a Gryffindor.) and say that I will be okay with it if Snape was in love with Lily. (I'd also be okay with it if he loved Regulus, of course. Ahem. Like a brother!) Since I like Lily. Oh, Lily. If you had lived, you would not have raised a son who stepped up 'showing other people's underwear' to 'showing other people's intestine.' And you wouldn't have put up with his little girlfriend who said it was cool he'd done it, either. Everyone should have secretly been in love with Lily! (I'm sorry, sorry for bowing down to one of JKR's feisty girls. But it was just so wonderful to hear someone say 'Fuck you, no matter how unpleasant someone is, you can't do that!')

Many people consider this a kick ass McGonagall moment. Me, I’d be totally humiliated by having my teacher announce that the fact my grandmother doesn’t like me is common knowledge.

No, Sister M, it is a kick ass McGonagall moment. See, she's taken the time to get to know her students, right? So she knows that Neville has no pride!

Those Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, they just don't give other houses a chance, do they? Quick, Harry, tell us their names so we know who to blame when a class war erupts!
... Wait, what's that, they're in another house so you can't possibly know their names?
... Wait, some of the people in your house are girls and so you can't possibly know their names?

Like I said to you earlier, I can accept that Ron's all full of self-doubt because he was pretty bad and now he thinks that the one victory was a fluke. But Harry, as Ron's Best Friend, should damn well be telling him about that victory instead of avoiding eye contact while he thinks about how much he likes flowers.

I am now off to make tiny fists of triumph about how Malfoy passed try-outs every year, and didn't get kicked off the team this year when a) Daddy was too incarcerated for people to think he'd buy brooms and b) Malfoy was slackin'.

[violaswamp.livejournal.com]

To me McGonagall comes off as hasty, wrongheaded and rather gullible most of the time, but that's just my gut reaction = what real fans would call wanky overanalyzing.

Yes, that's my gut reaction too. I really really want her to be as kick-ass as everyone says she is, but when I read the books I just don't get that sense. *shrugs*

[violaswamp.livejournal.com]

Hermione confiscates a fanged Frisbee from a fourth year. Amazingly, the fourth year does not tell her to "Step off, bitch!"

I can't see how someone as obviously insecure as Hermione would have any authority whatsoever with the younger students. I think the default answer to anything she said would basically be "step off, bitch!" because she's just such a prig. I can tell we're supposed to find it endearing, but she gives me a headache, and I think the students would just smell her weakness and insecurity and neuroses and mock the hell out of her. Possibly my school was filled with devil-children, but that's how we reacted to authority figures like Hermione.

McGonagall announces Neville’s Gran should start appreciating the grandson she’s got instead of the one she wishes she had, particularly since he had the sense to hurl himself into battle with Harry at the Ministry last year. Many people consider this a kick ass McGonagall moment. Me, I’d be totally humiliated by having my teacher announce that the fact my grandmother doesn’t like me is common knowledge.

The books have a lot of scenes where some brave individual (a Trio member or some other Gryff) stands up for a hapless person (usually Neville). But there's no sense of the fact that being stood up for can actually make you feel patronized like a charity case, except for maybe Pensieve!Snape's reaction to Lily.

Anyway, Harry’s book announces, "This book belongs to a total geek who gave himself a painfully stupid superhero nickname."

Heh. This is the problem that arises because characters can only be as funny, original or inventive as their authors. Voldemort can only be as good a plotter as JKR is; Snape can only come up with as cool a name as JKR can. Which leaves the poor guy stuck with a bullshit name like "half-blood prince."

[guza.livejournal.com]

What's the point, if any, of Lily's pastede on Potions skillz?

Until I ventured back into the fandom after reading the book, I always kind of assumed that it would be revealed that Lily's amazing potion talents ARE exactly like Harry's. Non-existant, that is. I thought maybe Snape would have been helping her too in some way while she, like her son, was getting all the credit.

But now I have no idea. Because it really does seem sometimes like JKR really meant for Lily to be inexplicably talented at potions (wasn't it meant to be charms at some point in the books?).

Bah. I don't care, as long as anything S/L related doesn't make an appearance. :)

[(Anonymous)]

God forbid Rowling has to come up with an interesting reason for Snape defecting from the DE. Nah, he did it all for LUUURVE.

If Snape hates Voldemort for killing a girl he once had a crush on, that's pathetic enough, but it'd be ten times worse as the reason why Dumbledore trusted him. Snape hates Voldemort on account of an entirely self-involved, stalker crush on a girl who was always out of his league, and Dumbledore trusts Snape to stay selfish, hating and pathologically obsessive for as long as it takes? Granted, I probably would too, but. That's not just stretching the concept of the power that VM knows not, that's fucking it sideways.

-L

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, I don't hate her. In fact I think if someone went looking for The Good Gryffindor, McG would be a contender. She doesn't usually bully people, she isn't meanspirited or obnoxious, and she has a kind of naive sense of honor. It's just, you can always trust her to do the correct thing, sometimes the honorable thing, but the smart (right) thing, not so much. She's Watson to Dumbledore's Holmes.

-L

[galaxianomiko.livejournal.com]

Possibly my school was filled with devil-children, but that's how we reacted to authority figures like Hermione.

You're not alone, then, because I recall the exact same thing, even as far back as elementary school. And God forbid it was a *teacher* with insecurities, or a new teacher, because you could practically hear some of the kids thinking, "Ah, fresh meat." At best, Hermione would have been ignored.

Voldemort can only be as good a plotter as JKR is; Snape can only come up with as cool a name as JKR can. Which leaves the poor guy stuck with a bullshit name like "half-blood prince."

*snerk* I do feel for JKR here, because I have the same problem--instances of "Okay, now for a witty joke!...uh...hmm..." come to mind--but you'd think she'd occasionally consult someone or eavesdrop to find out what the cool kids are saying these days, just for some idea of what NOT to do.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

That's not just stretching the concept of the power that VM knows not, that's fucking it sideways.

The sad thing was, I'd still find that more believable and IC than Harry's amazing powers of forgiveness and love that so far appear only when people do his bidding.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

I'm not really a fan of her - I get why other people are, but to me, she just seems the stereotypical Seems Strict with a Secret Soft Heart.
I liked her stopping Moody over the ferret thing (although she was fairly ineffectual, as ever 'ZOMG, Dumbledore says!1!!!') but it just seems we're supposed to buy her as essentially unbiased despite lapses, which I don't; and as kickass (like Neville) when she behaves as stupidly as a stereotypical Gryffindor.
Like the whole 'It unscrews the other way' bit about the chandelier in OotP; or when she's telling off George and Harry for the Quidditch pitch fight (gotta love how she focuses on it being Muggle fighting and not that they were fighting two against one - way to let down the house of bravery, guys.) and then Umbridge bans them, and suddenly she's really upset. Or her coming back from Near Death!1!! to give points to her house at the end of OotP. Shut up, McGonagall.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Well, look at the way half of fandom doesn't seem to get that that's Hagrid's problem. He blows it as a teacher not when Malfoy gets hurt, since lots of kids get hurt in class, but when he shows that he's got no idea what to do and was freaked out by his getting hurt.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Oh god yes on Hermione. Even if she has done frighteningly vicious things in the past, there's just no way she'd be listened to as a Prefect.

On Neville again yes, JKR seems to have a very romanticized idea of how the losers take it when a token cool person decides to defend them. Neville used to be the most pathetic, then Luna wound up having to announce her worship of Ginny over a loudspeaker.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think it's as usual not a problem with McGonagall as a character but the reasons we're given for liking her. There's just this obsession with finding characters who are biased towards our narrators and wanting that to mean they're fair. McG doesn't have to be completely unbiased. Her occasional leans towards her own students would probably endear her to them and they can endear her to me--just don't hold her up as a paragon of objectiveness. You got that in Percy and he's considered evil for it.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Oh, I see no reason to lay it entirely at Rowling's feet. It does stand out since it seems like a memorable scene in the book, so much so that the movie made its version the centerpiece of the entire campaign, and then here's Rowling seeming to literally change canon as if she wished she wrote that scene (when hers is better). But she's got editors who are supposed to watch for this sort of thing. It's surprising that no one at Scholastic remembered this. Though of course Harry as biased narrator comes in here as well. It's easy to believe he'd have changed it in his head.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

I thought the same thing, that it would turn out Lily was cribbing off Snape as well. I was amazed the way fandom seemed to take the whole thing as a clue to give Snape's talents to Lily and pretend she'd been the one writing in the book. I was like, um, why is no one even considering that Lily was in the Harry role here? Slughorn keeps going on and on about how Harry's inherited his mother's talent and we know exactly what Harry's talent here is.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

I always felt kind of bad that Hagrid did at least feel guilty initially over the Buckbeak thing (not over Ron getting an infected hand from his dragon, or the kids getting injured in GoF, or telling Harry and Ron to find Aragog the man-eater, of course, but Gryffindors like drama, I suppose, so bleeding got his attention.) and then the Trio and especially Dumbledore encourages him to shrug it off - hey, at least you didn't endanger anyone important this time!
He's another Harry, where he could grow but he just gets encouraged to listen to his worst instincts.
(And then we're supposed to feel bad for Harry and Hermione when he ropes them in to take care of Grawp? Um, no, you made your bed, go lie in it.)

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

I think the problem is that in some ways Harry clearly is cheating. I mean, just in that he suddenly gets this reputation as a Potions whiz when he isn't at all. He doesn't understand Potions at all, he can only do it when he's got "the answers."

But at the same time, as you said, why would this be cheating? Why shouldn't he have good instructions? Why on earth shouldn't everybody? In a way it's funny nobody ever considers that. Harry never thinks of sharing his book with Slughorn and revealing that that's the reason his Potions work better. He's actively giving himself a secret advantage. He does offer to share with his friends (who inexplicably decline for plot purposes) but he's happy to take credit for being great at Potions when he isn't, and accept points for "cheek" when even the cheek isn't entirely his. That's often a theme in the books, though, Gryffindors being rewarded for cheek.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Yes, it's total wish fulfillment. Her own children probably don't obey the way people obey Hermione, yet this is what happens when an uptight nerd gets a Prefect badge? With someone like Draco and Pansy, for instance, you at least get the sense that they are social leaders in their house and that's where their power comes from. Remus, too, as a Marauder would have clout amongst the younger kids. Ron would come across at least like a nice older guy who can back himself up a bit. Hermione would just be walking around with a big target and get frazzled when people didn't behave.

Did they choose or were they just assigned one or the other? Anyway, poor Trelawney :(

They don't choose, but Firenze is teaching sixth year and Parvati makes a point of looking really really disappointed.

I can imagine Harry getting one of those useless "employee of the month" trophies at work and proudly displaying it on his desk. Employee of the motherfucking MONTH! If he had a livejournal, it'd be at least one third full of quiz results and memes. IQ result! Right here!

LOL! A captain's badge. That's just so funny. This is where Harry's nationality kind of lets him down. If he were American he'd just have a Quidditch letterman jacket he could wear all the time with the badge on it and that would blend in fine. Though knowing these books the name stitched on it would probably say "The Chosen One" or something instead of just "Harry."

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

I do think it's cheating (although I don't see why Ginny's so upset, since the diary happened several personalities ago. Now she'd just scoff at the kind of loser who'd have no friends and Bat Bogey Riddle.) but Ginny and Hermione's arguments kind of suck.
Especially since when it comes out that he learnt how to flay someone from the book, it's become good.

Yeah it's just like they have never seen anyone writing in a book before so they can't tell the difference between that and magic. The book isn't ordering him to do anything. Does Hermione not realize that she, too, is following orders in books when she reads what's in the instructions there and follows them? Ginny's book had words that appeared magically in response to what she wrote herself for goodness' sakes.

Slughorn doesn't sound very sorry at all about Grandpa Malfoy's death. I note this doesn't offend Harry and his Sympathy and Respect for the Dead/Bereaved.

I can't believe I have to point out that Grand Pere Malfoy died of Dragon Pox, apparently a kids' disease. He did not stand in front of an evil dark wizard to protect Harry, nor was he cut down by Wormtail while facing him bravely. You don't give Sympathy and Respect for people who die in their beds like cowards.

Gotta love the drama of having a codeword to get into your headmaster's office. For extra lessons! Couldn't Dumbledore just open the door when Harry knocks? And they say the Gryffindors don't show off and enjoy theatrics.

Seriously. You're the headmaster of a school. How about having some normal office hours?

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

The scary thing is I can sort of picture that incident happening.

Can't you? God, who knows what goes on in that house. I'm surprised people haven't written fics where grown Neville has a big S&M fetish where the other person is supposed to act like his gran.

Ew, I never thought of that, but EW. This review is just full of genitalia jokes. :D

LOL--it's funny how that happens. But it's not me, it's canon!

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Yup, though I can't tell whether it's just that they're supposed to have a moment of feeling badly because the author thinks that puts them totally over the top (look at how he feels badly WHEN HE TOTALLY SHOULDN'T!).

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

No, Sister M, it is a kick ass McGonagall moment. See, she's taken the time to get to know her students, right? So she knows that Neville has no pride!

Oh my, it's true. It's like I said above to ishtar--why do people not write Neville as getting off on S&M scenarios where he's punished by his gran? There's such potential to write Neville as insane like Norman Bates.

Those Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, they just don't give other houses a chance, do they? Quick, Harry, tell us their names so we know who to blame when a class war erupts!

At this point it's amazing Harry can even remember the names of the other houses...which he totally wouldn't, probably, if it weren't for Quidditch.

Like I said to you earlier, I can accept that Ron's all full of self-doubt because he was pretty bad and now he thinks that the one victory was a fluke. But Harry, as Ron's Best Friend, should damn well be telling him about that victory instead of avoiding eye contact while he thinks about how much he likes flowers.

LOL--Yes, last year Harry could only add to Ron's stress because he had all that stuff going on and couldn't support him. This year he just...well, this year he sees no reason to support Ron.

[ishtar79.livejournal.com]

but it'd be ten times worse as the reason why Dumbledore trusted him. Snape hates Voldemort on account of an entirely self-involved, stalker crush on a girl who was always out of his league, and Dumbledore trusts Snape to stay selfish, hating and pathologically obsessive for as long as it takes?

Maybe Dumbledore wanted to get in Lily's pants too. God knows everyone else *coughSlughorncough* did. *eyeroll*

But really, it's such a...jevenile thing. Both as a reason to leave and to trust someone's motivation for leaving.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

I think Ron turns it down because he can't read the writing as well as Harry (the one with the vision problems.) It's hardly the biggest of Rowling's contrivances, but for pure obviousness, it stands out.
(I do like later, when they're learning about the bezoars, and Ron's all 'You could have got me one, too' and Harry crabbily explains that then he wouldn't have gotten the credit, since Slughorn may have guessed what was going on (which kind of implies Harry's aware that he's cheating.) Fuck you, Ron, stay in your place - second.
Luckily by then, he's investigating the memory, so if you don't think he should be allowed points, House cups, and extra help, then you're just working for the terrorists, because Harry's cheating is a way of FIGHTING VOLDEMORT!

LOL, someone should write an AU where Slughorn subs for Lupin in POA. 'You think Hagrid's a great hairy moron? Ten points for sheer cheek, Mr. Malfoy!' Cue Gryffindors and fandom spontaneously combusting, then scrambling desperately to explain away why it's so cute when it's Harry/Ginny/Lily in HBP.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

Ginny's book had words that appeared magically in response to what she wrote herself for goodness' sakes.

That, and none of them are worried by the Marauder's Map, which is much more similiar.

You don't give Sympathy and Respect for people who die in their beds like cowards.

LOL. And he was old. (Maybe even fat!)
He didn't live fast, die young, and stay pretty forever like Lily, James and Sirius.

How about having some normal office hours?

If he didn't have a guestlist policy, the riff-raff would get in, and distract him from his time planning more ways to make Hogwarts more inclusive.

[galaxianomiko.livejournal.com]

I think you're right about why people see it as cheating, because Harry does kind of bask in the attention he's getting for doing well in Potions rather than getting away with it without people noticing too much--he even seems to actively try to be impressive with it. I think the only reason it works for him is because most of what they do is open-book (I imagine the book wouldn't be very helpful for the type of testing that goes on in other subjects, unless Harry was actually going to sit down and study it. In which case, it wouldn't be so much like cheating.)

[belmanoir.livejournal.com]

Yeah, why hasn't Snape written his own Potions textbook and made a fortune?

[j-lunatic.livejournal.com]

In the case of the various textbooks Harry has used at Hogwarts, people have suggested that the Ministry is deliberately keeping most of the Wizarding World somewhat misinformed -- especially when it comes to history and to what degree witch hunts were a serious danger.

That said, what do we know about literacy and literary culture in the WW, given that Gilderoy Lockhart (wholesale fraud), Rita Skeeter (scandal seeker), and Eldred Worple (who comes across as a hack when he pitches that quickie biography of Harry) are the only writers we've met? I don't mean to suggests that Rowling is obligated to present all other writers in a positive light, but it is amusing that the only counterbalance to these examples I can think of is Mr. Lovegood and The Quibbler.

[mmoa.livejournal.com]

Yeah it's just like they have never seen anyone writing in a book before so they can't tell the difference between that and magic. The book isn't ordering him to do anything. Does Hermione not realize that she, too, is following orders in books when she reads what's in the instructions there and follows them? Ginny's book had words that appeared magically in response to what she wrote herself for goodness' sakes.

Oh thank you sweet baby flying spaghetti monster! Someone else! I thought I was going crazy when I read that bit in the book: it makes no sense to compare a textbook that a former student has written extra notes in, with the fragment of LV's soul. I mean, wtfh? It's so.... daft. No wonder the Dark Lord got to rise again, they were probably busy chasing cross-eyed kneazles or something...