PS Chapter One
Oct. 13th, 2006 04:31 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
sistermagpie.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
deathtocapslockA long, long time ago...in 1981...
*Vernon Dursley is a big, beefy man with hardly any neck, though he did have a very large non-sequatorial moustache. He’s never been to Bombay but he does have a sister who’s an accountant.
*I’m already loving Petunia with her extra-long neck that come in handy when she’s peering over the fences at the neighbors. Too bad Harry wasn’t born with an extra long nose to come in handy when he stuck it into Pensieves.
*Mrs. Potter and Mrs. Dursley haven’t met for years, which is all Mrs. Dursley’s fault of course. Lily’s been begging her to visit for years so she and James can look down on them.
*The Potters are as unDursley-ish as they could possibly be. That’s right, they’re both very attractive.
*The Dursleys know the Potters have a son too, and that’s another reason for keeping the Potters away. It’s terrible the way they judge the Potters son. Especially when everyone including the narrator is and will continue to be so non-judgmental about the Dursleys own child.
*The most interesting thing about PS is the way it starts out with JKR trying to lay down the difference between Muggles and Wizards in a way that just not hold up at all throughout the books: Muggles are people who are boring and Wizards are people who are more creative and interesting. It always amazes me when I hear readers who actually do buy into this definition, when the rest of the book makes it clear that the two are distinguished not at all by character, and completely on ability.
*It almost suggests that truly annoying idea that things like science are boring. Believe me, people who are obsessed with thinking with the heart or seeing all the things in the world that science can’t explain are usually far more boring, because what they really mean is "Listen to me prattle on in an empty way and say nothing."
*Granted, it makes the book start out as if the world we’re entering is going to be a lot more pleasant. Mr. Dursley seeing a cat reading a map and focusing his mind on drills is great.
*Mr. Dursley can’t stand the get-ups you see on young people. Shouldn’t Vernon be, like, twenty-three here? Or is he much older than Petunia, who is much older than Lily?
*Guess there’s no point in asking why Wizards are gathering in the middle of a Muggle neighborhood where none of them seem to live, right?
*Nice little psychology of Vernon moment there, eh? He’s afraid of magic and yells and dominates people to feel better. You know what he needs? Somebody to play a magical prank on him, preferably one that simulates murder. That would snap him right out of it. Such a tragedy James died too young to be the one to do it.
*So although the Dursleys are in denial, Vernon is shocked into suspended animation by overhearing the words "Harry" and "Potters." Somehow I imagine Lily could overhear, "Little Dudley Dursley was squashed flat by a garbage truck on Privet Drive," and think "Shall we have pumpkin fluffernuts or pixie pouf pie for dessert tonight?"
*God knows Harry would in her situation. That’s the real reason JKR had to kill off all his family, you know. Not just so he had to stay with the Dursleys. She just knew Harry would never get around to learning all their names.
*Awww. Vernon doesn’t want to upset Petunia by bringing up the painful subject of her sister.
*Vernon runs into a Wizard who tells him even Muggles like himself should be celebrating—I’m sure the first time I read this I didn’t half-expect the wizard to hit Vernon with a dancing spell to make sure the Muggle did as he should.
*Dudley’s new word: shan’t! Hee!
*But more importantly, note how Petunia’s social life is cast in an inescapably negative light. If she tells Vernon how she talked to her neighbor about her problems with her daughter, she’s gossiping. Not at all like Hermione reporting all the news that’s fit for the girl’s bathroom in later books.
*In Godric’s Hollow, Saintly Lily only interacts with her neighbors to protect them from bullies.
*So the Dursleys are the only Muggles in the world who *want* to forget about the existence of Wizards, yet aren’t given Memory-charms. Because while it’s okay to give someone brain damage to make sure they don’t remember that guy who seemed to appear out of nowhere, forgetting the wonder that is Lily Potter would be a tragedy.
*Vernon puts himself to sleep thinking how since the Potters knows how he feels about their kind, they won’t have anything to do with them. Vernon forgot how Wizards feel about *his* kind—namely that they’re pretty much there to do whatever Wizards want.
*And yet according to Hagrid Muggles can’t know about Wizards because they’d be pestering them for help all the time.
*I have never been able to remove ESE!McGonagall from the soft spot in my heart. Though perhaps the fact that her tail twitches and her eyes narrow at the sight of Dumbledore just means that as a cat she’s got better taste than as a person.
*Nothing like this man had ever been seen on Privet Drive. Yeah, yeah, he’s the oldest drag queen ever. The street ought to make up a plaque commemorating this momentous visit.
*And anyway, I don’t believe it. I’ll bet Muggle suburban teenagers living there in the 1960s did some pretty bitchin’ things with purple velvet, high-heeled boots and half-moon glasses too.
*Mary Tyler Moore flash: Ted is wearing his conquistador boots.
*His nose looks like it’s been broken at least twice, and as if he’s someone who can’t fix a broken nose with a wave of his hand.
*Later we’ll of course discover he’s merely a Gryffindor who wouldn’t dare let anyone take away battle scars, at least once he’s too old to have them interfere with his looks.
*Btw, thanks Albus for showing up and putting out all the streetlamps. Those aren’t there for a reason at all. Feel free to move the houses around if it suits your purpose as well. Their street is your street.
*Is putting out the streetlamps supposed to be a clever cover so no one sees him abandoning a child? Because in reality putting out the streetlamps would bring all the Muggles to their doors to find out what happened.
*Okay, so why was McGonagall (in her emerald green cloak) trying to hide herself from Dumbledore exactly? And why has she apparently kept the fact she’s an Animagus secret from Dumbledore?
*McGonagall gets the dubious distinction of being the first to introduce Muggle prejudice into the story by saying Muggles aren’t "completely stupid" and so can spot fireworks and owls in the sky.
*An especially odd time to be putting down Muggles when their own world’s been apparently run by a psycho for 11 years, one none of them have been able to do a thing about without a Deus ex Machina.
*McGonagall declines the sherbet lemon coldly, as if this isn’t the time for them. Funny it sounded almost like just the reverse of the stuff we’ve been hearing about the Dursleys since page one—she doesn’t want silly Muggle candy.
*Apparently for 11 years Dumbledore’s been trying to get people to call You-Know-Who by his proper name: Voldemort. Funny, I thought his proper name was Tom Riddle. Oh, I guess he means the proper name that won’t allow Dumbledore to know important information that nobody else knows. Wouldn’t want anybody thinking of Voldemort as anything less than an evil demi-god wouldn’t we?
*Btw, what’s with the 11 years? What happened 11 years ago in 1970 that that’s considered the beginning of the reign of Voldemort?
*For once I’m with Dumbledore—why exactly are we afraid to say Voldemort’s name, when there’s never been any danger attached to it? It sounds reasonable, but only because it seems like there is a reason.
*Everyone knows Voldemort’s frightened of Dumbledore? Wonder why. Only Dumbledore’s PR firm knows for sure.
*Dumbledore says Voldemort’s got powers he doesn’t. McGonagall says Dumbledore’s just too noble to use them. Then she gets on her knees and fellates him right there on the street. Jesus, Minerva. You’d better be ESE and buttering the guy up.
*So everyone’s already somehow aware of the story of how Harry "killed" Voldemort, though Dumbledore’s the one with the real info. Seems more and more like he’s behind the publicity, doesn’t it?
*McGonagall pulls out a handkerchief and dabs her eyes, having learned for real thather beloved Lord Voldemort the Potters are dead.
*Dumbledore gives a big sniff, which I belatedly think is supposed to indicate he gives a damn that the Potters are dead. I think he’s just allergic to privets.
*McGonagall’s reasons for not wanting Harry with the Dursleys are pretty lame. They’re not like us! Their toddler son is a handful! Yup, not like Pureblood prejudice at all!
*That Dudley, already making bad choices.
*Dumbledore’s explained it all in a letter. What, you thought people like the Dursleys deserved a proper sit down?
*Dumbledore explains he’s doing Harry a favor by not letting him grow up a Wizard. Don’t worry; he’ll be backtracking on this once enough people point out that child abuse is not usually considered character-building.
*McGonagall folds like a paper canoe. Yes, Dumbledore, it’s completely impossible for a child to grow up aware that the circumstances of his birth are unique and admired. It’s never been done, ever. Otoh, if a child is openly despised and neglected until the age of 11 and then suddenly fawned over as a hero for something he doesn’t remember, it will be great.
*This is what happens when you grow up in a world without TV. No one who ever saw that Brady Bunch episode where Peter saved the little girl at the toy store and became insufferable would ever agree to this plan.
*Dumbledore would trust Hagrid with his life—by which he means he trusts Hagrid to be loyal to him like a favorite dog, not in a way that suggests Hagrid is moral or skilled. He basically trusts Hagrid in a similar way that James trusts Peter.
*So Hagrid is twice as tall as a man, five times as wide, with hands the size of dustbin lids and feet like baby dolphins. Take a moment to try to picture that and wonder why Hagrid isn’t shot at more often.
*Young Sirius Black lent him the bike. Hey, isn’t that the guy Harry’s parents and later Harry himself wants to live with? The guy who loves him regardless of his part in a prophecy? Yeah, we’ll take care of him soon enough.
*Hagrid says he was able to get Harry out before the Muggles started swarmin’ around. Because everything Muggles do must be stupid and animal like. Highly trained first responders who’ve arrived with the ability to save the lives of the injured? Just more Muggles swarming around.
*Btw, how on earth did Hagrid get there before Muggles in the area? Oh right, I forgot. Muggles in these books are unaccountably slow at everything so the Wizards can be just that much more competent.
*Which is, of course, why no Muggles have come down the street with flashlights by now asking about the streetlights. If the street got dark it must be because they closed their eyes and didn’t know it.
*Even if Dumbledore could do something about Harry’s scar, he won’t, because scars are useful. Especially when you’re planning to use a kid publicly to your own ends. Why, if his scar was covered up he might not be recognizable and your "imagine how horrible it would be if that happened to him as a kid" would kind of go away.
*Hagrid has his first crying fit. As Malfoy would say: Pathetic.
*He bends over to give Harry a scratchy kiss. I imagine the kiss reeking of booze.
*Hagrid is crying not just for the death of the former Prom King and Queen, but at the horrible idea that little Harry must live with Muggles. You can see why JKR had to invent little Malfoy to show Harry that prejudice exists in the WW as well. They seem so much more spiritually evolved than we are so far.
*Dumbledore pulls everyone away. They’ve got no business staying there. They abandoned the kid on the doorstep. They’ve done all that’s responsibly possible here.
*Hagrid goes to take Sirius back his bike—and be easily convinced that Sirius was in fact a Death Eater all this time even though he handed Harry over when you’d think a DE would have taken him himself.
*AU: They sniffle at the baby for a full minute, and then disappear. Barty Crouch jumps out of a bush, carries Harry off, and eats him alive under the full moon in the name of Voldemort. The end.
*Good luck, Harry, says Dumbledore. Don’t write if you need me!
*Apparently Petunia won’t come out and find Harry for a few hours. Oh well, nothing bad could happen to an under-two-year old in a couple of hours outside in late October, right?
Atomic Grenade
"You’re telling me that whatever was in that little baby blew up that entire building?! He must have swallowed an Atomic Grenade!"
The Cricket Rule
Day-for-Night
The day for night keeps the Muggles from noticing they’re in the middle of a blackout.
Designated Hero
::sniff:: Isn’t it wonderful the way the nice man abandoned the baby on the doorstep of the people terrified somebody would do something like that before going off to his party?
Hero’s Death Battle Exemption
And so it begins!
Idiot World
You know, no matter how many times you Wizards insult the Muggles, you’re still all idiots whose Evil Overlord was killed by his own oopsie. And he’s not even really dead. And in ten years you won’t have thought of any other possible way to destroy him.
Informed Attributes
Wizards are just wonderfully unordinary and creative. Really. If you take all the fun creative people in the world and gave them their own world, they’d totally produce this one.
McGuffin
Not a generic whatsis driving the plot of an action or suspense picture but Jim McGuffin, intrepid Muggle weatherman.
Monster Death Trap Proviso
Well, the only thing that killed Voldemort before was this kid with the black hair, so I guess we shouldn’t try to do anything ourselves about it.
Final score: 9
Shape of Things to Come Count: Hagrid and McGonagall both put down Muggles for no reason. Dumbledore arbitrarily decides what’s right for everyone. Hagrid blubbers.
*Vernon Dursley is a big, beefy man with hardly any neck, though he did have a very large non-sequatorial moustache. He’s never been to Bombay but he does have a sister who’s an accountant.
*I’m already loving Petunia with her extra-long neck that come in handy when she’s peering over the fences at the neighbors. Too bad Harry wasn’t born with an extra long nose to come in handy when he stuck it into Pensieves.
*Mrs. Potter and Mrs. Dursley haven’t met for years, which is all Mrs. Dursley’s fault of course. Lily’s been begging her to visit for years so she and James can look down on them.
*The Potters are as unDursley-ish as they could possibly be. That’s right, they’re both very attractive.
*The Dursleys know the Potters have a son too, and that’s another reason for keeping the Potters away. It’s terrible the way they judge the Potters son. Especially when everyone including the narrator is and will continue to be so non-judgmental about the Dursleys own child.
*The most interesting thing about PS is the way it starts out with JKR trying to lay down the difference between Muggles and Wizards in a way that just not hold up at all throughout the books: Muggles are people who are boring and Wizards are people who are more creative and interesting. It always amazes me when I hear readers who actually do buy into this definition, when the rest of the book makes it clear that the two are distinguished not at all by character, and completely on ability.
*It almost suggests that truly annoying idea that things like science are boring. Believe me, people who are obsessed with thinking with the heart or seeing all the things in the world that science can’t explain are usually far more boring, because what they really mean is "Listen to me prattle on in an empty way and say nothing."
*Granted, it makes the book start out as if the world we’re entering is going to be a lot more pleasant. Mr. Dursley seeing a cat reading a map and focusing his mind on drills is great.
*Mr. Dursley can’t stand the get-ups you see on young people. Shouldn’t Vernon be, like, twenty-three here? Or is he much older than Petunia, who is much older than Lily?
*Guess there’s no point in asking why Wizards are gathering in the middle of a Muggle neighborhood where none of them seem to live, right?
*Nice little psychology of Vernon moment there, eh? He’s afraid of magic and yells and dominates people to feel better. You know what he needs? Somebody to play a magical prank on him, preferably one that simulates murder. That would snap him right out of it. Such a tragedy James died too young to be the one to do it.
*So although the Dursleys are in denial, Vernon is shocked into suspended animation by overhearing the words "Harry" and "Potters." Somehow I imagine Lily could overhear, "Little Dudley Dursley was squashed flat by a garbage truck on Privet Drive," and think "Shall we have pumpkin fluffernuts or pixie pouf pie for dessert tonight?"
*God knows Harry would in her situation. That’s the real reason JKR had to kill off all his family, you know. Not just so he had to stay with the Dursleys. She just knew Harry would never get around to learning all their names.
*Awww. Vernon doesn’t want to upset Petunia by bringing up the painful subject of her sister.
*Vernon runs into a Wizard who tells him even Muggles like himself should be celebrating—I’m sure the first time I read this I didn’t half-expect the wizard to hit Vernon with a dancing spell to make sure the Muggle did as he should.
*Dudley’s new word: shan’t! Hee!
*But more importantly, note how Petunia’s social life is cast in an inescapably negative light. If she tells Vernon how she talked to her neighbor about her problems with her daughter, she’s gossiping. Not at all like Hermione reporting all the news that’s fit for the girl’s bathroom in later books.
*In Godric’s Hollow, Saintly Lily only interacts with her neighbors to protect them from bullies.
*So the Dursleys are the only Muggles in the world who *want* to forget about the existence of Wizards, yet aren’t given Memory-charms. Because while it’s okay to give someone brain damage to make sure they don’t remember that guy who seemed to appear out of nowhere, forgetting the wonder that is Lily Potter would be a tragedy.
*Vernon puts himself to sleep thinking how since the Potters knows how he feels about their kind, they won’t have anything to do with them. Vernon forgot how Wizards feel about *his* kind—namely that they’re pretty much there to do whatever Wizards want.
*And yet according to Hagrid Muggles can’t know about Wizards because they’d be pestering them for help all the time.
*I have never been able to remove ESE!McGonagall from the soft spot in my heart. Though perhaps the fact that her tail twitches and her eyes narrow at the sight of Dumbledore just means that as a cat she’s got better taste than as a person.
*Nothing like this man had ever been seen on Privet Drive. Yeah, yeah, he’s the oldest drag queen ever. The street ought to make up a plaque commemorating this momentous visit.
*And anyway, I don’t believe it. I’ll bet Muggle suburban teenagers living there in the 1960s did some pretty bitchin’ things with purple velvet, high-heeled boots and half-moon glasses too.
*Mary Tyler Moore flash: Ted is wearing his conquistador boots.
*His nose looks like it’s been broken at least twice, and as if he’s someone who can’t fix a broken nose with a wave of his hand.
*Later we’ll of course discover he’s merely a Gryffindor who wouldn’t dare let anyone take away battle scars, at least once he’s too old to have them interfere with his looks.
*Btw, thanks Albus for showing up and putting out all the streetlamps. Those aren’t there for a reason at all. Feel free to move the houses around if it suits your purpose as well. Their street is your street.
*Is putting out the streetlamps supposed to be a clever cover so no one sees him abandoning a child? Because in reality putting out the streetlamps would bring all the Muggles to their doors to find out what happened.
*Okay, so why was McGonagall (in her emerald green cloak) trying to hide herself from Dumbledore exactly? And why has she apparently kept the fact she’s an Animagus secret from Dumbledore?
*McGonagall gets the dubious distinction of being the first to introduce Muggle prejudice into the story by saying Muggles aren’t "completely stupid" and so can spot fireworks and owls in the sky.
*An especially odd time to be putting down Muggles when their own world’s been apparently run by a psycho for 11 years, one none of them have been able to do a thing about without a Deus ex Machina.
*McGonagall declines the sherbet lemon coldly, as if this isn’t the time for them. Funny it sounded almost like just the reverse of the stuff we’ve been hearing about the Dursleys since page one—she doesn’t want silly Muggle candy.
*Apparently for 11 years Dumbledore’s been trying to get people to call You-Know-Who by his proper name: Voldemort. Funny, I thought his proper name was Tom Riddle. Oh, I guess he means the proper name that won’t allow Dumbledore to know important information that nobody else knows. Wouldn’t want anybody thinking of Voldemort as anything less than an evil demi-god wouldn’t we?
*Btw, what’s with the 11 years? What happened 11 years ago in 1970 that that’s considered the beginning of the reign of Voldemort?
*For once I’m with Dumbledore—why exactly are we afraid to say Voldemort’s name, when there’s never been any danger attached to it? It sounds reasonable, but only because it seems like there is a reason.
*Everyone knows Voldemort’s frightened of Dumbledore? Wonder why. Only Dumbledore’s PR firm knows for sure.
*Dumbledore says Voldemort’s got powers he doesn’t. McGonagall says Dumbledore’s just too noble to use them. Then she gets on her knees and fellates him right there on the street. Jesus, Minerva. You’d better be ESE and buttering the guy up.
*So everyone’s already somehow aware of the story of how Harry "killed" Voldemort, though Dumbledore’s the one with the real info. Seems more and more like he’s behind the publicity, doesn’t it?
*McGonagall pulls out a handkerchief and dabs her eyes, having learned for real that
*Dumbledore gives a big sniff, which I belatedly think is supposed to indicate he gives a damn that the Potters are dead. I think he’s just allergic to privets.
*McGonagall’s reasons for not wanting Harry with the Dursleys are pretty lame. They’re not like us! Their toddler son is a handful! Yup, not like Pureblood prejudice at all!
*That Dudley, already making bad choices.
*Dumbledore’s explained it all in a letter. What, you thought people like the Dursleys deserved a proper sit down?
*Dumbledore explains he’s doing Harry a favor by not letting him grow up a Wizard. Don’t worry; he’ll be backtracking on this once enough people point out that child abuse is not usually considered character-building.
*McGonagall folds like a paper canoe. Yes, Dumbledore, it’s completely impossible for a child to grow up aware that the circumstances of his birth are unique and admired. It’s never been done, ever. Otoh, if a child is openly despised and neglected until the age of 11 and then suddenly fawned over as a hero for something he doesn’t remember, it will be great.
*This is what happens when you grow up in a world without TV. No one who ever saw that Brady Bunch episode where Peter saved the little girl at the toy store and became insufferable would ever agree to this plan.
*Dumbledore would trust Hagrid with his life—by which he means he trusts Hagrid to be loyal to him like a favorite dog, not in a way that suggests Hagrid is moral or skilled. He basically trusts Hagrid in a similar way that James trusts Peter.
*So Hagrid is twice as tall as a man, five times as wide, with hands the size of dustbin lids and feet like baby dolphins. Take a moment to try to picture that and wonder why Hagrid isn’t shot at more often.
*Young Sirius Black lent him the bike. Hey, isn’t that the guy Harry’s parents and later Harry himself wants to live with? The guy who loves him regardless of his part in a prophecy? Yeah, we’ll take care of him soon enough.
*Hagrid says he was able to get Harry out before the Muggles started swarmin’ around. Because everything Muggles do must be stupid and animal like. Highly trained first responders who’ve arrived with the ability to save the lives of the injured? Just more Muggles swarming around.
*Btw, how on earth did Hagrid get there before Muggles in the area? Oh right, I forgot. Muggles in these books are unaccountably slow at everything so the Wizards can be just that much more competent.
*Which is, of course, why no Muggles have come down the street with flashlights by now asking about the streetlights. If the street got dark it must be because they closed their eyes and didn’t know it.
*Even if Dumbledore could do something about Harry’s scar, he won’t, because scars are useful. Especially when you’re planning to use a kid publicly to your own ends. Why, if his scar was covered up he might not be recognizable and your "imagine how horrible it would be if that happened to him as a kid" would kind of go away.
*Hagrid has his first crying fit. As Malfoy would say: Pathetic.
*He bends over to give Harry a scratchy kiss. I imagine the kiss reeking of booze.
*Hagrid is crying not just for the death of the former Prom King and Queen, but at the horrible idea that little Harry must live with Muggles. You can see why JKR had to invent little Malfoy to show Harry that prejudice exists in the WW as well. They seem so much more spiritually evolved than we are so far.
*Dumbledore pulls everyone away. They’ve got no business staying there. They abandoned the kid on the doorstep. They’ve done all that’s responsibly possible here.
*Hagrid goes to take Sirius back his bike—and be easily convinced that Sirius was in fact a Death Eater all this time even though he handed Harry over when you’d think a DE would have taken him himself.
*AU: They sniffle at the baby for a full minute, and then disappear. Barty Crouch jumps out of a bush, carries Harry off, and eats him alive under the full moon in the name of Voldemort. The end.
*Good luck, Harry, says Dumbledore. Don’t write if you need me!
*Apparently Petunia won’t come out and find Harry for a few hours. Oh well, nothing bad could happen to an under-two-year old in a couple of hours outside in late October, right?
Atomic Grenade
"You’re telling me that whatever was in that little baby blew up that entire building?! He must have swallowed an Atomic Grenade!"
The Cricket Rule
Day-for-Night
The day for night keeps the Muggles from noticing they’re in the middle of a blackout.
Designated Hero
::sniff:: Isn’t it wonderful the way the nice man abandoned the baby on the doorstep of the people terrified somebody would do something like that before going off to his party?
Hero’s Death Battle Exemption
And so it begins!
Idiot World
You know, no matter how many times you Wizards insult the Muggles, you’re still all idiots whose Evil Overlord was killed by his own oopsie. And he’s not even really dead. And in ten years you won’t have thought of any other possible way to destroy him.
Informed Attributes
Wizards are just wonderfully unordinary and creative. Really. If you take all the fun creative people in the world and gave them their own world, they’d totally produce this one.
McGuffin
Not a generic whatsis driving the plot of an action or suspense picture but Jim McGuffin, intrepid Muggle weatherman.
Monster Death Trap Proviso
Well, the only thing that killed Voldemort before was this kid with the black hair, so I guess we shouldn’t try to do anything ourselves about it.
Final score: 9
Shape of Things to Come Count: Hagrid and McGonagall both put down Muggles for no reason. Dumbledore arbitrarily decides what’s right for everyone. Hagrid blubbers.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Re: I have the sudden urge to sing "American Pie"
Date: 2006-10-13 08:06 pm (UTC)I wonder if she meant Patronuses with that comment. How exactly is some giant silvery thing better than the internet, I haven’t got the faintest idea, but then again, this wouldn’t be the first time when I have no idea what JKR is talking about (Ginny being warm and compassionate and not unpleasant would be one of those other times).
And really, moving pictures are so much more interesting and creative than films. I mean, who would want to see an actual story on the screen when you can see a newspaper picture of someone waving his hand or scratching his head over and over again?
Re: I have the sudden urge to sing "American Pie"
Date: 2006-10-15 01:11 am (UTC)Although the idea of a cute l'il meerkat Patronus showing up, claiming to be from the widow of a deposed Nigerian senator and needing your Gringott's account number, has a certain charm to it.
Re: I have the sudden urge to sing "American Pie"
Date: 2006-10-15 01:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-13 05:29 pm (UTC)Let me take this opportunity to recommend
No love,
Me
no subject
Date: 2006-10-15 02:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-20 04:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-13 05:50 pm (UTC)Thus marking the first mention of JKR's extremely.... interesting theory that caring about your family by, you know, caring about them is ESE, while ignoring them, playing
hostile and abusivehilarious pranks on them, sublimating your feelings into nagging them to death, etc., are signs of highly developed moral character.no subject
Date: 2006-10-15 02:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-13 05:51 pm (UTC)It almost suggests that truly annoying idea that things like science are boring. Believe me, people who are obsessed with thinking with the heart or seeing all the things in the world that science can’t explain are usually far more boring, because what they really mean is "Listen to me prattle on in an empty way and say nothing.
Damn that Muggle Brian Greene and his beautiful universe! He proves that Felix Felicis cannot exist! He is probably super boring too not like that perfect model of male perfection, Sirius Black.
Okay, so why was McGonagall (in her emerald green cloak) trying to hide herself from Dumbledore exactly? And why has she apparently kept the fact she’s an Animagus secret from Dumbledore?
McGonagall is good despite her penchant for her *mournful* fetish for the color green. Despite the fact that she screeched at Harry for breaking rules to get into the COS to destroy a horrific monster.
Dumbledore’s explained it all in a letter. What, you thought people like the Dursleys deserved a proper sit down?
That would have been boring. Boring = EVIL
Dumbledore pulls everyone away. They’ve got no business staying there. They abandoned the kid on the doorstep. They’ve done all that’s responsibly possible here.
Couldn't even be bothered to ring the doorbell. Thank heavens for Harry that there was no early frost.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-15 02:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-20 04:09 pm (UTC)They're raising him like a Spartan. I wonder are all 17-year-old wizards sent out Muggle-hunting as rite of passage. (just as Spartan boys hunted helots)
no subject
Date: 2006-10-13 06:14 pm (UTC)Ironically I think people would be more OK with saying Tom Riddle than Voldemort, specially if Rita Skeeter would write a sarcastic news article about the self-appointed 'Lord', suggesting he gave himself an impressive title to cover his inferiority complex since his poor, orphaned childhood.
Btw, what’s with the 11 years? What happened 11 years ago in 1970 that that’s considered the beginning of the reign of Voldemort?
An interesting question, which I have never heard asked by the fans in JKR's numerous interviews before. I bet she doesn't know herself. Btw, what had D been doing for those 11 years. Seems like a long time to me not to duel with V & try to kill him at least once.
Everyone knows Voldemort’s frightened of Dumbledore? Wonder why. Only Dumbledore’s PR firm knows for sure.
I know! Tom had been paying close attention to D's tactics too all those years. D wasn't the only one to watch people.
He basically trusts Hagrid in a similar way that James trusts Peter.
A nice comparison! It shows that James & D are both true Griffindors. Snape imo would say such a thing only if he trusted both this person's loyalty & competence.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-15 02:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-13 06:18 pm (UTC)Like one squib male relative of the Weasleys, with whom Arthur doesn't talk, since this squib was rude to him. Vernon's sister too has probably horrible character. May be this poor unpleasant squib (feeling inferior a la Filch?) & this mysterious sister would make a cute couple.
Too bad Harry wasn’t born with an extra long nose to come in handy when he stuck it into Pensieves.
LOL, but he manages to succeed with his own just fine too! He is that naturally talented in certain fields.
JKR trying to lay down the difference between Muggles and Wizards... Muggles are people who are boring and Wizards are people who are more creative and interesting
Funny, since I always perceived it otherwise: Muggles are people who are inferior to Wizards both in ability to use magic (obviously) & in character. It holds up if you look at the Dursleys all right.
Shouldn’t Vernon be, like, twenty-three here? Or is he much older than Petunia, who is much older than Lily?
I don't remember being given the difference in age between Petunia & Lily, but always imagined Vernon in his early 30's here.
Guess there’s no point in asking why Wizards are gathering in the middle of a Muggle neighborhood where none of them seem to live, right?
IITS.
Nice little psychology of Vernon moment there, eh? He’s afraid of magic and yells and dominates people to feel better.
I guess this is the reason why the intimidating attempts of Hagrid, Twins, the whole Order & (I am sure) D didn't bring the long awaited result (making the Dursleys treat Harry better)& only made them more frightened & consequently to dominate Harry more. Btw, here for the first time I got the idea how D could make them treat Harry better- to sit with them & make very clear that: a) they are not going to beat the magic out of Harry, like Petunia hoped & b) if but only if they treat Harry well (giving him a room, normal clothes, etc.) D will give them money. May be such tactic would give better results.
God knows Harry would in her situation...Harry would never get around to learning all their names.
Imo, he just wouldn't care what happened to the evil son of his horrible sister. Do you think he would care about the Dursleys' deaths, if they die in a car crash? Imo, not at all. If V kills them, he at least will be interested to learn that V arrived to his past hiding place, but if they really die in an accident or because of a Muggle killer? He even wouldn't be very curious. This made me root for the Dursleys' deaths in the last book just to see Harry's reaction to them (after the Trio's torturing them for weeks no less!).
A QUESTION: What does ESE mean? There used to be another abbreviation, which seemed to have the opposite meaning too.
McGonagall gets the dubious distinction of being the first to introduce Muggle prejudice into the story by saying Muggles aren’t "completely stupid" and so can spot fireworks and owls in the sky.
I think she is sarcastic here.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-13 07:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-13 07:07 pm (UTC)So, not only does Petunia not deserve to be told of her sister's death in person, she and Vernon are supposed to take in an orphan regardless of whether or not they can afford to keep him, and who probably has homicidal maniacs trying to kill him who don't give a damn about who they have to go trough first, and against whom the Dursleys have little or no defenses. Thank you not, Assledore.
However, I'm still fixating about his not bothering to speak with Petunia about Lily's death - her own sister!
no subject
Date: 2006-10-13 07:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-15 02:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-15 03:15 pm (UTC)It's not like Molly where you could drop a stuffed monkey on her doorstep and she'd start knitting it sweaters.
And Arthur would most likely try and get it to explain elektricity.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-15 03:29 pm (UTC)http://sistermagpie.livejournal.com/76910.html
no subject
Date: 2006-10-16 08:49 am (UTC)Because obviously here, it's put down to Petunia as the one who doesn't want to see her sister (and the nasty Muggle being jealous of the awesome wizard/witch seems to be JKR's default mindset, judging from other comments she's made - Ron's line about his family not speaking to the Squib sounds chilling, but her interview indicates that surprise surprise, the backstory here is that the Squib is really obnoxious.) but since the only Muggleborns we know much about, Hermione and Dean, seem to have assimilated totally into the Wizarding World and left their families behind (Hermione's attitude towards this has been hashed over a lot here, and Dean has that great line in OotP about not being 'stupid' enough to tell his family when people at the school die) it'd be fitting if Lily put on airs or else just disconnected from the others.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-16 06:57 pm (UTC)The WW seems to inculcate a superiority complex in it's citizens and muggle wizards/witches. The society in Hogwarts immediately works to separate Muggle students from their families. I'm not surprised if most of them just disappear , thinking that their nonmagical family just won't understand or appreciate them.
Which leads me to wonder, what happens to these abandoned families? Are their minds wiped clean?
no subject
Date: 2006-10-13 08:16 pm (UTC)There's a theory (http://pauraque.livejournal.com/164768.html?thread=2198176#t2198176).
no subject
Date: 2006-11-17 06:00 am (UTC)Nope. Albus did NOT become Headmaster 11 years earlier.
So far as we can determine NOTHING happened 11 years earlier, except thatBill Weasley was born toward the end of November.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-13 09:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-14 12:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-14 01:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-14 02:06 am (UTC)why didn't they ring the doorbell? it's winter.
why didn't they give the Dursley's compensation for taking in harry? DD had the key to the vault this whole time, he could've given them something.
it's comforting to know that in the wizarding world no one has ever sacrificed themselves for someone esle
no subject
Date: 2006-10-14 07:03 pm (UTC)it's winter.
Harry's a future Gryffindor, not some kind of pansy baby who'd get pneumonia!
why didn't they give the Dursley's compensation for taking in harry?
Not giving them any kind of support, emotional or financial for taking in Harry just encourages them to resent him. That way he'll be that much keener to come to Hogwarts and pledge undying loyalty to his rescuer Dumbledore!
it's comforting to know that in the wizarding world no one has ever sacrificed themselves for someone else
Yeah, and not terribly surprising, either.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-14 05:43 am (UTC)You know, that's always bothered me. In other books, the author will actually make the idea that names have power completely plausible, like if you say the person's name they will appear in front of you, or you'll have control over them. But to my knowledge, JKR's never done that in any of the books. It's just so DD can seem cool for still calling him "Tom" to piss him off in OotP -.-'
no subject
Date: 2006-10-15 02:07 am (UTC)The other is having power over someone by knowing their real name, but Voldemort isn't his real name and that doesn't seem to matter much anyway. So why did everyone just decide to be afraid to say his name?
no subject
Date: 2006-10-14 12:10 pm (UTC)Actually, I think someone mentions it in front of Voldemort as well, and he doesn't contradict it. Since it makes no sense for Voldy to be afraid of a guy whose only hold over him is the knowledge of his real name and birth, I like to think Dumbledore and Voldemort are secretly in cahoots. They both take over opposite ends of the WW, squash all opposition, and then rule with King Voldy and (Drag)Queen Dumbledore, happily ever after
Then she gets on her knees and fellates him right there on the street
LOL I didn't know fellate was a verb!
Dumbledore gives a big sniff, which I belatedly think is supposed to indicate he gives a damn that the Potters are dead
Good thing they didn't make him their Secret Keeper as he wanted them to.
They'd have died within a week of the charm. Oh wait.....
no subject
Date: 2006-10-14 07:02 pm (UTC)They'd have died within a week of the charm. Oh wait...
I kinda like the idea that the Potters dying just served his purposes. A Harry without human attachments is a Harry that much more willing to risk everything for the cause.
http://community.livejournal.com/hp100/753724.html
no subject
Date: 2006-10-15 09:03 am (UTC)Letting the Potters die would obviously be worse than letting a billion faceless people die in order to make Harry happy.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-14 12:39 pm (UTC)Poor little Harry. He left you with them! He didn't care that you were malnourished! That man is not your friend!
I do like Vernon's affection for Petunia. It makes me happy for her, since (though we all know about my soft spot for Lily) Lily was obviously her parents' favourite. It's OK, Petunia. Someone loves you best now. I do think they're portrayed as a genuinely healthy married couple, even if they do kind of suck as parents. (And I don't think they suck any more than the Weasleys. Certainly Dudley's never going to get the Percy treatment. And the Weasleys certainly don't have as good a marriage. We never hear Petunia screeching for hours at the top of her harpy voice.) Of course, they really really suck as adoptive parents to a child different than they are. And that is why one should keep to one's own kind! Oh wait. I've become confused. (It's ironic that the Dursleys might have given quite good upbringing to a Squib child who took after his aunty, whereas Lily and James would have been baffled and upset by their changeling child.)
Maybe Tom legally changed his name to Voldemort. I imagine a clerk looking up at him in great confusion and saying 'and how do you spell that, sir? Really? You'd rather be called Lord Voldemort than Thomas? Oh, you kids, you need to stop reading Poppy Z Brite!'
I am so happy you're doing this, Sister M! I cry your praises on the street corners!
no subject
Date: 2006-10-15 02:17 am (UTC)Adela wrote a great fic once, I remember, about Lucius trying to come to turns with this squaling thing that is his child. I remember he warms to him when toddler!Draco calls the Weasleys names in a clothing shop.
It's so funny how well JKR can do cute little family moments when she's dealing with family that hate each other. I thought Sirius' "Regulus was such an idiot" speech in OotP hid real affection, I loved Bella and Cissy, I loved the Malfoys in OotP, Barty Crouch Sr. got me with his sons OWLS results. It's only the people who are supposed to be the good families that come across weird to me--probably because they're just like everyone else only they don't seem to know they're disfunctional.
I am so happy you're doing this, Sister M! I cry your praises on the street corners!
Heh--I couldn't believe I actually brought the books with me and put them on the shelf for further reading. Perhaps when all the books are over we can do something else--though I don't know how snarky it would be!
no subject
Date: 2006-10-15 11:27 am (UTC)I have been thinking about the same topic for a while. The only other well known & loved by me books, which come to my mind now, are "The 3 Musketeers" by Dumas. Those are interesting, good, with a fast moving plot books, which have a huge snarky potential.
About another subject: can't you let us read your recaps on the old comm & just disable comments? It's a pity, since I am sure there are quite a lot people, who have joined us only recently & would love to read them. (Personally, I would love to re-read them too).
no subject
Date: 2006-10-15 03:34 pm (UTC)Wishbone was a TV series about a little dog who imagined himself as the heroes of classic books, and I worked on the series of books based on the series. So sometimes I still picture D'Artagnan with a tail.
I am planning to post the older recaps up here at some point. I f'locked them because the mod of the snarkery wanted that comm f'locked, but when I post them comments welcome!
posting older recaps
Date: 2006-10-15 10:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-14 04:19 pm (UTC)*nod* JKR’s playing on the cliché of the misfit who deserves to be whisked away to a magic wonderland because the mundanes don’t appreciate his specialness. Unfortunately when you look past the kid-appeal trappings – the secret passages, the freaky candy, flying on broomsticks - the special ones turn out to be a small, frightened society of small, unpleasant people who are as bigoted and unwilling to think outside the box as any Dursleys. In this culture magic is such a boring everyday fact that the most gifted wizards can’t figure out a better use for it than pranks and bullying. Wait, I tell a lie. They keep thinking up new means of inland travel.
Dumbledore says Voldemort’s got powers he doesn’t. McGonagall says Dumbledore’s just too noble to use them. Then she gets on her knees and fellates him right there on the street.
Hee. I seem to recall from OotP that applauding James’ Snitch-catching made Peter a disgusting toady. But of course between perfectly good characters, fulsome praise should be taken at face value.
Also, and this is a quibble but she’s making it sound like DD is a master of the Dark Arts but is too noble to use them. That’s not the same thing as refusing to learn them in the first place because they corrupt the soul or whatever.
-L
no subject
Date: 2006-10-15 02:10 am (UTC)LOL! Yup--and to her credit, it's not like there's really much delusion about this in the books. Harry's not like one of the Penvensies knocked out by the sight of Narnia. He quickly enough recognizes that he's dealing with more beaurocracy and annoyance in the WW. JKR's just not really interested in writing the kind of fantasy that's about that--I think AS Byatt earned the hatred of fandom by calling it an absence of the numinous.
Also, and this is a quibble but she’s making it sound like DD is a master of the Dark Arts but is too noble to use them. That’s not the same thing as refusing to learn them in the first place because they corrupt the soul or whatever.
Like how Harry is naturally good at the Dark Arts yet somehow also naturally immune to them.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-17 11:30 am (UTC)Word. Just... word.
I have this theory that this is actually one reason why Rowling got so big. Our society likes the idea of nonconformism, but the actual thing is sort of scary and unpredictable. Hence Rowling's WW, which has the appearance of "weirdness" while still being safe and predictable and normal underneath.
*It almost suggests that truly annoying idea that things like science are boring. Believe me, people who are obsessed with thinking with the heart or seeing all the things in the world that science can’t explain are usually far more boring, because what they really mean is "Listen to me prattle on in an empty way and say nothing."
Where does this idea of science (dull, anal-retentive, unimaginative) and art (fun, interesting, creative) as opposites come from, anyway? I've read about historical scientists, and you know what? They were every bit as excentric and creative and interesting as the historical artists. :D
For that matter, I know enough about science to know just how much imagination has to go into research and development. I mean, the Internet alone... I was stunned when I found out just how many clever tricks, just how much ingenuity went into making it function. This isn't the work of boring, hidebound minds, it's as much about vision as any art. :)
no subject
Date: 2006-10-17 05:39 pm (UTC)As evidenced most obviously by Luna, who's barely out of the ordinary at all, but is apparently considered crazy because she occasionally wears unusual jewelry and makes a show of saying she believes in creatures no more or less strange than the ones that actually exist--while not really being much different from anyone else. Harry, especially, isn't strange at all. Even while the Dursleys are mistreating him he shows how little he deserves it by being more socially skilled, more physically pleasing and more athletically gifted.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-17 05:45 pm (UTC)The whole "ordinary muggles, special wizards" thing has bugged me from the start because it made so little sense, but that makes so much sense. I feel like I finally understand how that pseudo-dichotomy (belied by events at every turn) could be appealing to people!
no subject
Date: 2009-04-20 04:04 pm (UTC)The breakup of the Beatles and the dawn of disco.
The notion that Harry is safest at the Dursleys is so idiotic that JKR just ignored it rather than retconning it. Couldn't Dumbledore protect him better?
*Dumbledore gives a big sniff, which I belatedly think is supposed to indicate he gives a damn that the Potters are dead. I think he’s just allergic to privets.
More like, "oh no! I'm no longer relevant! Better make myself Mugwump and Chief Warlock and everything else to sate my lust for power."
*Hagrid has his first crying fit. As Malfoy would say: Pathetic.
omg what if Harry were abandoned at the Malfoys, and they were never told that he was Harry Potter!!
no subject
Date: 2009-04-21 02:59 am (UTC)