POA - Chapter 7

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

The Boggart in the Wardrobe

*Malfoy was out many days before he returned to regular class schedules. The slacker. Harry knows that he was just milking the injury for all its worth. Nurse Pomfrey is known for keeping the injured students in the infirmary for longer than necessary.

*Malfoy uses his injured arm in a sling to flirt with Pansy. How dare he! In front of Harry!

*Snape enters the classroom, icy tones and all.

*The narrator makes sure to remind everyone what an evil jerk Snape is to Harry & Co. Just in case we forgot.

*Malfoy decides to set up residence at Harry and Ron's lab table. Because its never a bad time to tease the Harry/Ron duo.

*Snape appoints Ron and Harry as poor, injured Malfoy's servants. While Malfoy joyfully gives out the orders.

*Harry gives Snape the evil eye. Poor, poor widdle Harry always so put upon by big, mean, old, evil Snape. He makes widdle Harry do extra class work and lots of homework. Harry is an underdog, I tell you! How dare Snape not kiss Harry's butt like the rest of the school.

*Like all villains, Draco suffers from diarrhea of the mouth and cannot refrain from spilling out his plans to all and sundry.

*The Malfoys are now on a mission to get Hagrid fired. Oh, Draco, thank you. What would we do without you. Too bad you won't be that successfull.

*Harry always quick with an urbane retort tells Draco that his injury is just an act anyway.

*Of course Draco agrees. Because that is what evil villains do...after they admit to their dasterdly plans.

*All Draco needs now is a mustachio to twirl and some train tracks to tie up Harry's Weezey to.

*This scene is interrupted by Snape yelling at Neville. Hermione tries to intervene but gets a reprimand from Snape as well.

*Snape, of course, has Hermione's number down cold. She is a show-off. But it takes one to know one. Doesn't it? I'm sure every time he looks at Granger, Snape sees himself as a little tyke trying to be a kissy-ass too. Look where it got him? Taking orders from Dumblehead.

*Enter random exposition question from Seamus Finnegan. The main reason for Seamus' existence in the books. Remember Sirius, Harry?

*Heaven forbid, the writer tips her sooper,sekret GinnyjoSue plans by having Miss Compassionate herself ask Harry this question. Its much better that she reveal her sooper awesomeness like a rabbit out of a magician's hat in the last book of the series.

*Draco jumps on the news and states if Sirius had done the same to him, he would leave school and hunt him down.

*A great, bone-headed plan and very typical for a hot-blooded 13 year old. The kind of plan that a grown man, newly come of age in book 7, will act upon.

*Neville's potion is an absolute disaster so Snape decides to make Trevor drink it. The Gyrffindor's are fearful but the Slytherins are panting.

*Riddle me this fellow readers. Since magic can fix everything, why are the Gryff's so worried about Trevor's predicament? And on the flip side, why is being ripped a bloody new one in a sordid, unfair fight in a bathroom no big deal?

*Let's weigh the scales a Frog vs. a human being. Hmmmmmm. Is the Frog a Gryff and the boy a Slytherin? Well then no contest, the frog is more valuable. Let the boy bleed his life out on the floor. It isn't dark magic when he deserves it.

*But you know, I don't quite remember Snape being this demonstrative before...why the ramp up? All of a sudden?

*The potion works because Hermione helped Neville. Snape takes points from Gryffindor. Evil and eviler he gets.

*Hermione disappears and reappears in strange places. None of these places include either Ron's or Harry's bed.

*Ron, now morphing into the doofus he will become in canon, screeches out that Hermione is keeping secrets from Harry/Ron. A secret that will never include him.

*The class meets up in the DADA classroom to wait for the new teacher.

*Lupin, still rather shabby, enters and states that they will use real magic.

*Instead of just having the class push the tables to the side, he takes them on a journey around school. During that journey, Lupin shows Peeves a thing or two.

*This has all been just meaningless filler to showcase how wonderful, and kewl Lupin can be at least until the pink-headed lady gets ahold of him.

*You know, I'm surprised Peeves didn't burst out into song about how much he appreciates Lupin's past JD behavior while in school. I suppose he only does that for the Twins.

*Peeves, only a bother when plot points are needed. I'm sure he will be made out to be GinnySue's best friend in 7.

*I can see it now:

"Harry and Ron looked on in wonder as Peeves had a big discussion with GinnySue and kissed her on the cheek.
'Well', said Hermione breezily,'GinnySue has been Peeves taming in secret ever since her 1st year!"

*No, Tom has not been helping GinnySue tame Peeves. Because GinnySue is the most awesome girl eva! Her compassion is like kryptonite to Riddle. That is why he had so much trouble with her in COS. It was so hard to control her he didn't even have to wait out the first month to use her to open the chamber.

*Snape is inexplicably waiting for Lupin in the empty classroom the crowd enters.

*He robotically insults Neville again and then leaves. Okaaaayyyyyy.

*Lupin has a boggart that he will unleash on the class and Neville is the first victim.

*Just to get his own edge in, he encourages Neville to think of the boggart as Prof. Snape dressed in old Granny clothing.

*Thank you Remus. Just for a 5 minute cheap laugh and dig, you have insured that Neville will endure two more years of ramped up hell in Snape's class. Thank you, you're a peach. *smack* Please keep that ruthlessness when it comes to sobby women who wear pink hair to funerals.

*Oh and yes, this was the reason why Snape was made to act out in ever more crazy, evil demonstrations. So he could be humiliated, without guilt to the characters or readers in this chapter.

*Remember the theme, we all get whats coming to us and we deserve it.

*Everybody gets a go at the boggart except Harry. Apparently, Lupin didn't have time to deal with Harry's dementor induced fainting spells.

*Oh and yes, Hermione didn't face the Boggart either. So we don't know what her greatest fear is. Just like we don't know what her Amortentia scents mean and could signify anyone from Ron, Harry, Neville, Ginny, Luna, Viktor or even Rita Skeeter.

*Remember "Snape in a hat!" "Snape in a hat!"

*Ron temporarily gets back his snarky wit and pulls a funny on Hermione. Ron declares Hermione's fear is a failure on classwork.

Comments

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

*Let's weigh the scales a Frog vs. a human being. Hmmmmmm. Is the Frog a Gryff and the boy a Slytherin? Well then no contest, the frog is more valuable. Let the boy bleed his life out on the floor. It isn't dark magic when he deserves it.
I'm not sure if Jabootu covers this, but I realized this as an immutable movie law when I was watching Dante's Peak. About mid-way through the movie, in which a family is trying to escape a volcanic event, their dog ran off into the woods. Somewhat later, their grandmother died after wading through sulpheric acid. As she was dying, I thought to myself, "Wait! The dog can't be dead. You can kill off the dog or the grandma, but you can't kill them both off!"

Sure enough, the dog reappeared soon afterwards.

Since then I've refined the law because I realize that, unless it's Old Yeller, it's not even a choice between Grandma and Poochy. The dog will always trump a human.

Michael Moore noted something similar in the reaction to Roger and Me. People had a very negative reaction because he showed a woman killing a rabbit (to eat). However, he also showed television footage of a man being shot in the street by police officers. No one remarked on that scene--or even remembered it by the end of the movie.

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

This example of moral dilemma is fascinating and I'm always amazed how messed up people are about it. In particular, this series is a strange example.

Every incident seems to be saying, hurting bad people is okay because they deserve it. This book is supposed to be based on love. But I guess only Lily's love for Harry is the only extent it matters.

[teratologist.livejournal.com]

My partner gettingshitdone and I have an entire theory of disaster movie survivability based on the proximity of the Friendly Yellow Dog.

I will never go to the backwoods, out to sea, or into outer space without a labby-looking mutt again.

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

I will never go to the backwoods, out to sea, or into outer space without a labby-looking mutt again.

This turns out to be excellent advice. Our local newstations are buzzing with the rescue of three mountain climbers yesterday on Mt. Hood. It was especially heartening because within the last couple of months we'd lost three other mountain climbers, a father who was trying to get help for his family stuck in a snowdrift, and a woman who wandered off (somewhat like Bertha Jorkins) and whose body was found sixteen miles from her car.

What made the difference in this case (beyond a working cell phone)? A dog. The three surviving climbers had brought their labrador with them and made it through the night by cuddling with the pooch.

[papier.livejournal.com]

Yeah, let's expose the kids' worst fears in class. Never mind little Johnny whose biggest fear is that his parents are going to divorce, or Lucy who's scared that her mother is going to top herself. No, only the weak houses think of that sort of thing. Let's air that dirty laundry! :D

(That was reason #576 on 'Why not to send your kids to Hogwarts'.)

Then again, looking at the stuff the boggart spews out, it's only stupid things like phobias that the kids tackle. It seems only Harry, Neville and Hermione have what I'd call 'real fears' (a fear of reliving your parents' deaths, a fear of an intimidating adult, and an irrational fear of failure).
Of course we could assume that Boggarts only show things like phobias, but then of course there's Molly's boggart in OotP. I guess everything is fine and dandy with the Gryffindor's lives. I wonder what the Slytherins would have come up with, seeing as a lot of them have DE parents?

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

Ahh, we never saw Hermione's boggart fear. It was Ron's joke that we read about the homework. Her fear is unknown to us.

I thought it was strange too that noone was afraid of Voldie, DEs or dark wizards in general. We get bloody eyeballs and mummies. I suppose its the Gryffindor way, they only have trivial fears and they laugh in the face of real danger.

[papier.livejournal.com]

I think we see Hermione's fear at the end of the year - McGonagall telling her she had failed everything. Cute at the time but now I'm older I can see how it's really not funny at all.

And I agree about no one being scared of Death Eaters. I know they think they're safe now but surely one or two of them, especially kids with murdered family members, might be a little more worried about Azkaban outbreaks than banshees and eyeballs.

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

McGonagall telling her she had failed everything. Cute at the time but now I'm older I can see how it's really not funny at all.

Yes, I thought the same at the time. But these kids fought off the two headed Voldie in year one, none of that had any psychological blowback? That is ridiculous.

[xerox78.livejournal.com]

But these kids fought off the two headed Voldie in year one, none of that had any psychological blowback?

Well, that's because they're good people and in Rowlingland good people don't have conditions like PTSD. That's for whiny selfish crybabies like Cho Chang.

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

Yes. She seems to equate PTSD and other related emotional problems to being weak. How strangely unsympathetic that is. I'm guessing she doesn't realize her need to be a control freak has something to do with those years she was at everyone's mercy. But she certainly is keen to make everyone pay.

Just like Harry will make the Dursleys pay. I dread reading that S&M tinged scene and you know GinnySue will figure in largely encompassing all with her compassion.

[xerox78.livejournal.com]

Of course we could assume that Boggarts only show things like phobias, but then of course there's Molly's boggart in OotP.

Yeah, and if you boggart is death (your own or someone else's), rape, betrayal, abandonment, etc., how do you "riddikulus" it away? There's nothing funny about any of those things. What then, just sit there peeing your pants in fear or crying hysterically until someone shows up and saves you?

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

That is basically what happened to Molly in 5.

So I'm thinking Lupin may have pulled a psychological fast one on the class.

[mary-j-59.livejournal.com]

A very good thought! Also - and I have wondered this a couple of times - what if you don't *know* what your worst fear is? Boggarts are a lot scarier and more difficult than Lupin makes them seem - but I'm not entirely sure I trust Lupin.

This is reminding me of a very good year seven fanfic about Snape, Harry and Moody. Snape and Harry are at Grimmauld place, where Harry has agreed to meet him; they are in the kitchen, and a boggart appears. Snape absolutely freaks out. He can't cope - because his boggart is Voldemort, and all he can do is push Harry behind him and prepare to die. Needless to say, this changes Harry's attitude - but how do you expect someone to cope with something like that, or (maybe) with seeing their worst action over and over, or with something like what Molly's faced with? I couldn't do it - but then, I'm definitely not a Gryffindor. Maybe Gryffindors (except for Hermione and Neville) lack imagination?

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

Lupin has quite a lot in common with Snape. I think. They both keep to themselves and seem more interested in their own worlds. I don't see either of them being very friendly or particularly interested in affairs. And yes, I think Lupin cuts his losses just as much as Snape. I wouldn't trust either of them if the chips were really down. That Lupin breakdown in the infirmary was disturbing.

Maybe Gryffindors (except for Hermione and Neville) lack imagination?

That reminds me of the fairy tale "The Boy Who Could Not Shiver". Basically the boy lacked imagination and couldn't be frightened by evil spooks.

Its a great idea but I've long since stopped giving Rowling any credit for using fairy tale subtext. It is just how it looks. The Gryffindors are really, really, really brave and the rest drool.

[mary-j-59.livejournal.com]

It's interesting that you see Lupin as having a lot in common with Snape. I tend to see them as diametrically opposed, because Snape will sacrifice affection to do what he sees as right, while Lupin will do wrong in order to gain affection. But the enclosed thing - yes. I can see that. They are both quite introverted. And there was something about Lupin in HBP, particularly in the infirmary, that disturbed me a lot.

"I've long since stopped giving Rowling any credit for using fairy tale subtext. It is just how it looks. The Gryffindors are really, really, really brave and the rest drool."

I'm afraid you're right. How tiresome!

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

I have a theory about that. You see, although he was transferred to D.A.D.A., Snape's been supplying Lupin with the Wolfsbane potion this year, since it's necessary for Lupin to keep his head while spying.

So while he was breaking down, Lupin was thinking, "Damn! Where am I going to get my Wolfsbane now?"

[mary-j-59.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's an excellent idea! Makes me feel a little better about Remus -

[xerox78.livejournal.com]

I have a theory about that. You see, although he was transferred to D.A.D.A., Snape's been supplying Lupin with the Wolfsbane potion this year, since it's necessary for Lupin to keep his head while spying.

So while he was breaking down, Lupin was thinking, "Damn! Where am I going to get my Wolfsbane now?"

He needn't worry. Who needs Wolfsbane when you have Tonks' perky pink-haired love?

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

ooooh...I could go straight to the gutter on that idea. :P

But I won't because I'm a good girl. LOL

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

Actually, we will see Hermione's fear at the end of the year when she takes the obstacle course.

[mmmarcusz.livejournal.com]

*Malfoy uses his injured arm in a sling to flirt with Pansy. How dare he! In front of Harry!

Harry-as-foppish-Oscar-Wilde-type: "Draco! Would that only my arm were broken!"