Deathly Hallows, chapter 5

[anehan]

Fallen Warrior

* Well, that was boring.

...

All right, all right, I'll do it properly.

* Hagrid is alive. Damn. For a moment, I got hopeful there.

* The Order has placed protective charms on the Tonkses' houses. These charms seem to be able to keep Voldemort away, so why aren't all crucial places protected like this? How come the Death Eaters can get to the Ministry, Hogwarts, the Weasleys, you name it? Why did Amelia Bones die in her home if this kind of protective charms existed?

* Harry wallows in guilt. If something happened to anyone else, it would be his fault for endagering them, never mind that the plan wasn't his idea. Am I the only one who thinks JKR put this charming little display of guilt there so that the readers could assure themselves that of course Harry wasn't guilty of anything wrong, no indeed?

* If JKR wanted to convince me of Harry's ability to feel guilt, maybe she should have made him feel guilty when he really was guilty. Like when he, say, cast the Cruciatus Curse.

* Ted calls Andromeda Dromeda. My, what a hideous nickname. It's a bit too close to "dromedar" for my comfort; it makes me think that Andromeda looks like a camel.

* You know, it just occured to me to wonder why the Order permitted Hermione and Ron take part in this rescue mission. Previously, they've been all about protecting them, even to absurd lenghts. What's changed now?

* Harry is sure no one in the Order would have betrayed him. Considering the fate of his parents, his trust is touching. And by "touching" I mean "naïve".

* George's ear can't be restored, because it's been cursed off. Sounds like something JKR came up with just to make her heroes' life more difficult.

* Molly says she can't make George's ear to grow back, which seems to suggest that in ordinary circumstances she'd be able to do it. I always thought something like growing body-parts back would be a Healer's job.

* Aha! So Sectumsempra is Dark Magic. It still doesn't tell us what this ever-so-dangerous Dark Magic is. The distinction between ordinary and Dark magic has always seemed quite stupid to me. Even the most innocuous charm can be used harmfully.

* "Always the tone of surprise," Ron said. If only he could keep this up he'd be a much more interesting character. Unfortunately JKR seems to find it necessary to make him as stupid as she can, probably to make Harry look better. A guy's got to be really dumb to be dumber than Harry.

* Mad-Eye's dead. Why, of why couldn't it have been Hagrid.

* I really hate Fleur's pseudo-French accent. She's been in England for two years now. One would think she had lost most of it by now.

* "'Ear, 'ear." Very funny. Not.

* "The suddenness and completeness of death was with them like a presence." Now this, this is funny.

* Harry's histrionics are rather amusing as well. Yes, Harry, you've got to leave because your presence puts the others in danger. Never mind that they have chosen to fight this far. Not everything is about you, you know.

* Such a drama-queen, Harry is. One more thing he has in common with Voldemort, in addition of both being orphans, Parselmouths and addicted to the Cruciatus Curse, among other things.

* No one has heard of a wand performing magic on its own. They just haven't met Harry's wand. It's pretty much got to be special since Harry is so dumb he can't tie his shoelaces. Someone's got to know what to do.

* After an obligatory Cruciatus scene (one would think Harry would have enjoyed that, but no, Harry only enjoys Cruciatus Curses he himself casts) the chapter ends. Finally.

* See, I told you. It was boring.



Box Picture:
Harry Potter is The Tortured Hero.

Ken and Andrew's Rule of Plotholes:
Why isn't every place protected by the Order's protective charms?

Selling Wood:
Oh Harry, how tortured you are.

Final score: 3 Why, oh why does nothing happen in these chapters? I'm going crazy here.

Comments

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

I swear half this book was raising my hopes that Hagrid was dead and then dashing them and laughing.

Note nobody considers warding the Granger home either...

Oh yeah. Harry just takes so much responsibility on his shoulders. It's not your fault Harry! It's not your fault the world revolves around you!

LOL! I thought the same thing about that nickname.

What a shame Moody's dead. A fallen warrior. Now he won't be able to sit at home and protect himself while the three teenagers fight the war for him.

WTF was up with that "nobody would be betray me!" with Lupin darkly hinting of spies? Okay, we know it's really Snape but it still makes things sound more interesting than they are. Well, actually I guess the real spy is actually Dumbledore, sowing dischord even in death. Tell me that's not supposed to somehow foreshadow Dumbledore's "greyness" in this book.

Not only will Ron get stupider but his "always the tone of surprise" will be echoed by Hermione to suggest that Ron doesn't tell her she's pretty often enough. Please.

If Fleur lost her French accent she wouldn't be French anymore!

Voldemort's wand is gay for Potter's wand. Hee! The feeling is mutual!

[anehan]

I don't understand why Dumbledore had to orchestrate this travesty of a rescue mission and endanger the lives of fourteen people, including his Boy Wonder, just to strengthen Snape's cover. It's not like Snape hadn't already demonstrated his loyalty to Voldemort by killing Dumbledore. There was no need for additional displays.

I wonder if this means that Dumbledore authorized the killing of Emmeline Vance as well just to strengthen Snape's cover. He really doesn't care about other people's lives if they stand in the way of Greater Good™. How is that different than what Voldemort does? "He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster."

[aasaylva.livejournal.com]

I don't remember - were we actually told this was the reason behind the whole idiocy of moving Harry in the most risky way possible this side of making him hike to the burrow waving a red flag?

[anehan]

Dumbledore says it would arouse suspicions if Snape didn't tell Voldemort the correct date of Harry's removal.

[seductivedark.livejournal.com]

"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster."

Maybe it takes one to fight one.

BTW, loving your going-over. I still need, I mean really need, to see it torn to ribbons. I feel so...

Betrayed.

[anehan]

I'm glad you like this. It's the only way I can re-read DH. I'd explode if I couldn't mock it with my fellow DTCLers.

[aasaylva.livejournal.com]

Dumbledore's greyness
LOL -. it just occurred to me we have a LotR reversal here: Dumbledore changed from White wizard to Grey Wizard!

[sunnyskywalker]

Hey, you're right! That'll teach him to wash his lights and darks together.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Ha! I never thought of that!

[tabaquis.livejournal.com]

* No one has heard of a wand performing magic on its own. They just haven't met Harry's wand.

"I need a new wand, mine seems to be gay for Potter's wand."

I'm glad I'm not the only one that had that running through my head!!

[tdotm.livejournal.com]

No need to protect the Grangers home. Or even put them into hiding with the Dursleys (thus leting them share the same protection/guards) Hermione would much rather wipe their minds (at least as harsh as the Imperius). After all, it was the obvious first option.(Where's that roll-eye smiley?)

Poor Ron. He was entitled to make that comment, but Hermione? Who's she, Angelina Jolie? Ron should have left the tent and gone back to Hogwarts, leaving Harry to drown. As Harry took the only wand into the forest and abandoned Hermione (defenceless and asleep) in the tent, she'd have to walk back to civilisation and would be attacked and kissed by a Dementor.

Ron would inherit all of Harry's wealth and Snape would marry Madame Rosmerta.

The End. I wish.