Harry Potter & the Cursed Child

[borg-princess.livejournal.com]

For anyone who's curious, the plot of the play has been discussed in spoilery comments at the following links:

Source 1

Source 2

Source 3 UPDATE: Snitchseeker took down their spoilers as JKR called out another website for doing the same and TPTB have been contacting people to request they don't post any details. *eyeroll*

But never fear, Andrew Sims of Hypable (whom JKR called 'Wormtaily' for betraying the secret, lmao) linked to a cohesive recap of the entire two-part play.

When I first read about this, I thought it was someone trolling, but there's multiple sources? Either there's a conspiracy afoot or it's legit, IDK what to believe!

What kind of crappy fanfic, lmao! A Time-Turner plot, seriously? To save CEDRIC DIGGORY, of all people, wtf?

How shitty that anti-Slytherin prejudice is still going strong to the point that Albus is ostracized for being sorted into Slytherin. :/

Cackling at Ron & Hermione never getting together as a result of the temporal shenanigans, hehe. But I'm pissed that her being single results in her becoming a bitter Hogwarts teacher as opposed to happily married Hermione being the Minister of Magic, the implications there are pretty gross.

I can't even process everything I just read. Wow. JKR should be fired from her own world, just what even.

Comments

[snapes-witch.livejournal.com]

Here's Part 2. Read it and weep.

http://victorkrvm.tumblr.com/post/145680264471/in-depth-plot-summary-of-cursed-child-part-two

The Epitome of Bad Fanfic

[jana-ch.livejournal.com]

Delphinus/Delphina/Delphi is Voldemort's daughter.

Need I say more?

Re: The Epitome of Bad Fanfic

[aikaterini.livejournal.com]

But...but I thought that Canon!Voldemort was basically asexual/aromantic. I thought that we were supposed to think that Bellatrix was misguided and/or pathetic because she was pining after someone who clearly didn't want her that way and only saw her as his devoted servant.

And then Harry, far from having any sort of empathy for Delphi, just says to her, "You will always be an orphan." What?

Are we sure that this isn't a hoax?

Re: The Epitome of Bad Fanfic

[borg-princess.livejournal.com]

Apparently (https://www.reddit.com/r/harrypotter/comments/4nc1hj/spoilers_cursed_child_megathread_part_2/d42v78h) The Powers That Be have contacted people posting spoilers, which is RIDICULOUS. The audience didn't sign any goddamn non-disclosure agreements, I can't believe how stupid this is.

Anyway, Andrew Sims (who runs Hypable and was called out by JKR for spoilers) linked to this post that neatly typed up and sorted all the soilers into a cohesive plot - here's the whole sorry saga (http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/06/10/harry-potter-and-the-cursed-child-spoilers-here-s-the-plot-of-the-play.html?via=twitter_page).

RE: Re: The Epitome of Bad Fanfic

[traverse.livejournal.com]

Apologies for butting in, but people can be found guilty of the misuse of confidential information without signing any NDAs. Especially with someone so litigious as JKR and with her resources to do it - entirely possible.

The Mousetrap, Agatha Christie's play, continues to run in London for 60-odd years entirely on the promise asked of the audience not to reveal the final twist. (Of course, then Wikipedia came along and spoiled it.)

Re: The Epitome of Bad Fanfic

[borg-princess.livejournal.com]

I find that hard to believe! Audience-goers are surely at liberty to discuss what they just saw and heard, I can't imagine JKR would get anywhere with suing them...and I doubt she'd go hardcore after random tumblr peeps. It's the fansites and such that are probably more at risk.

Wow, that's neat trivia re: The Mousetrap, I wouldn't have though that was possible! But lol, certainly not in this day and age...

RE: Re: The Epitome of Bad Fanfic

[traverse.livejournal.com]

Well, it would be a bit of an argument considering that whatever is shown on stage can be reasonably interpreted as being publicised, i.e., not secret. But there are authoritative precedents in the English tort law which would support JKR should she decide to make an example of somebody (Douglas v Hello Magazine the foremost of them). Not the people who discussed the play privately with friends, but anyone who made a public blog post is fair game. She will win should she bother doing it.

Yes, The Mousetrap thing is based on a rather old-fashioned assumption of honour even in the absence of draconian penalties... :)

Re: The Epitome of Bad Fanfic

[t0ra-chan.livejournal.com]

The Mousetrap, Agatha Christie's play, continues to run in London for 60-odd years entirely on the promise asked of the audience not to reveal the final twist. (Of course, then Wikipedia came along and spoiled it.)

I don't think that's quite the same as what JKR is asking for Cursed Child. She's not asking that people don't spoil the ending or who the cursed child actually is, but rather people aren't supposed to even say what the actual plot of the play is.
The official website only mentions Harry and Albus struggling with stuff, the description on Amazon for the script is the same.
Nowhere is Scorpius, who seems to take over the play quite a bit, even mentioned. A real summary would be: "Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy, both outcasts and Slytherins, travel back in time to save Cedric Diggory. But by changing the past, they end up changing the present." This is not a spoiler, imho, but a simple basic summary of the plot. But JKR doesn't even want this much revealed.
I guess, if people had known beforehand that this was the plot, they would have never bought tickets or pre-ordered the script.

Are We Sure That This Isn't a Joke? (Part I)

[aikaterini.livejournal.com]

Okay, let me look at the whole thing:

/As the train pulls out, Rose reminds Albus that their parents met on the Hogwarts Express so they’d better make a careful choice about where to sit./

Oh, joy, eleven years old and they're already concerned about who they're going to date and marry. I guess the notion that Fleur and Bill didn't go to school together completely passed over everyone's head?

/Despite the kids’ open discussion that his real father could be Voldemort, Albus decides to stay./

Why does anyone think that Scorpius's father is Voldemort? Astoria is still Draco's wife, right? Why does anyone think that Voldemort had anything to do with her?

/Next up is Albus Potter: Slytherin! But magic doesn’t come naturally to Albus, nor does making friends./

So, he's like Neville - he's a wizard, not a Squib, but doesn't have control over his magic?

/At the start of his second year at Hogwarts, Harry suggests he tries to make a few more friends. Albus says he doesn’t need any more mates—he has Scorpius, his best friend./

I have to say that I do like that Albus and Scorpius are friends. If this play is based on fanfiction, I wonder if this is a riff on the whole AU fanfic idea where Harry is Sorted into Slytherin and he and Draco become best friends.

/B/y the start of the second year, Rose is already a brilliant, popular Quidditch chaser. She and Albus are barely on speaking terms./

Why? Because he's in Slytherin and she's in Gryffindor? So, this is basically a rehash of the whole Lily/Snape fiasco?

/Scorpius seems to like Rose, but she teases and ignores him./

So, I guess that Rose is just a brat. Is there any reason why she doesn't like Scorpius either, other than the fact that he's in Slytherin?

"All is well," yeah, right. Voldemort is long dead and kids are still being petty and mean to each other over their Houses.

/Draco asks Harry to use his position as Head of Magical Law Enforcement at the Ministry of Magic to shut down gossip that a Time-Turner was used to allow Voldemort to impregnate Astoria, Draco’s wife, who gave birth to Scorpius./

....What?! 0_0

Why in God's name would Voldemort do such a thing? Why would he even CARE about Astoria (whom we were never introduced to the books)? If he was going to use a Time Turner to impregnate someone (who is he, Kyle Reese?), wouldn't he choose Lily instead of Astoria so that Harry wasn't born or so that his child would grow up with Harry and defeat him or some convoluted plot like that?

And why in God's name is Draco taking this seriously enough to ask Harry to shut it down? The proper response would be to laugh in the face of whoever brought it up. "Seriously, you think that my son's father is the Dark Lord? Let me have whatever you're drinking."

And I thought that in the DH Epilogue, it was stated that Scorpius resembled Draco. So, why would anyone think that he wasn't Draco's son?

/He asks for a statement to be released confirming the Time-Turners have all been destroyed, because his son has such a hard time being bullied about it./

Draco, the more that you make a big fuss about it, the more that people are going to wonder if you're hiding something.

/Hermione, the Minister of Magic, tells Harry he needs to get on top of his paperwork as he hasn’t been tracking giants, werewolves, and trolls, who all seem to be on the move. Harry is still a great wizard but he just can’t bring himself to study the files./

...Is anyone surprised by this?

Re: Are We Sure That This Isn't a Joke? (Part II)

[aikaterini.livejournal.com]

/The boy listens in as Amos Diggory demands Harry uses the seized Time-Turner to go back in time to the Triwizard tournament and save his boy, Cedric, who was killed on the orders of Voldemort after winning the event./

As opposed to everyone else who's lost a child.

/Albus is intrigued by this older girl with silver and blue hair/

Does she dye her hair? Or use magic to color it?

/and she suggests he visits them at the nursing home where she cares for her uncle/

Nursing home meaning St. Mungo's?

/Worried that Albus is isolating himself at school, Harry gives him a gift of his mother’s blanket/

Where did Harry get the blanket?

/Harry says he sometimes wishes Albus wasn’t his son. Albus throws the blanket down on his bed, where it knocks over a bottle of love potion given to him by Ron./

...Wow. Where to even begin...

First of all, that is a horrible, HORRIBLE thing to say to your child. You get bad parent points just for that alone, Harry.

Second of all, WHY do you sometimes wish that Albus wasn't your child? Because he was in Slytherin? If so, then what was the point of your little speech at the end of the epilogue after Albus expresses his reservations about Slytherin? Also, if that is true, then again, you're an awful parent.

Third of all, what the HECK, Ron?! Is he trying to set up Albus with Rose? First, they're first cousins and second, regardless of whether or not he meant for Albus to end up with Rose or some other girl, the best way Ron could think of was to give his nephew a DATE RAPE POTION?!

/Back on the train to Hogwarts, Albus hugs Scorpius/

Aww. :)

/Albus turns up at the nursing home with Scorpius and offers to help the Diggorys because there’s so much blood on his father’s hands/

Umm, what?

/If Cedric hadn’t won the Triwizard tournament 26 years earlier, he wouldn’t have been killed/

So, how is that Harry's fault? He didn't know that Voldemort was waiting for him. Besides, Barty could have killed Cedric if he changed his mind and decided to kill the other Triwizard contestants instead of Stunning them or having them attack each other. Cedric is dead because Voldemort killed him. That's it.

Besides, you could also apply this logic to the Potters. "If Lily hadn't given birth to Harry, she and James wouldn't have been killed by Voldemort (even though they could have been killed anyway, due to their status as Order members), so let's stop my grandparents from ever having kids!"

/So they decide they need to stop him winning. Their first task is to prevent him getting the golden egg from the dragons./

Wait a minute, why are they bothering with the other tasks? Every single contestant participated in the final task, regardless of how many points they got from the other tasks. Shouldn't they be focusing on making sure that Cedric never gets to the trophy in the maze instead?

/Albus, Scorpius, and Delphie sneak into the Ministry of Magic and steal the Time-Turner/

Wait, why is Delphie with them? Let me guess, she's "Amos's niece" so she makes some speech about how she needs to prevent her cousin's death or something.

/Harry is sitting at his son’s bedside, and Dumbledore appears in the picture frame above his bed./

Oh, jeez. GO AWAY, DUMBLEDORE.

Re: Are We Sure That This Isn't a Joke? (Part I)

[arcanetrivia]

/As the train pulls out, Rose reminds Albus that their parents met on the Hogwarts Express so they’d better make a careful choice about where to sit./

Oh, joy, eleven years old and they're already concerned about who they're going to date and marry.

Rose and Albus are cousins, not siblings. She'd be referring to the friendships between Ron/Hermione and Harry. (I suppose you could make an argument that Harry met Ginny "on the Hogwarts Express" because she was present at the station when Ron and Harry were getting on, but I don't think that's what's meant.)

Re: Are We Sure That This Isn't a Joke? (Part I)

[dracasadiablo.livejournal.com]

//Why? Because he's in Slytherin and she's in Gryffindor? So, this is basically a rehash of the whole Lily/Snape fiasco? //
Worse. As they are family and presumably grew up together or at least seeing each other often; it's a version of Sirius and his Black relatives.
With Albus being the black sheep.

///Hermione, the Minister of Magic, tells Harry he needs to get on top of his paperwork as he hasn’t been tracking giants, werewolves, and trolls, who all seem to be on the move. Harry is still a great wizard but he just can’t bring himself to study the files./

...Is anyone surprised by this?//
So, Hermione as the Minister of Magic (and presumably burdened with quite a lot of things she should be doing) also have to do Harry's homework? She's more or less still the Head of Magical Law Enforcement but is now the Minister too.
Harry is still lazy and cares nothing about his obligations and duties. Even his "saving people thing" died. He's now perfectly okay with letting giants, werewolves, and trolls (because it's not like he had any personal experience to show him they can be dangerous, right?) do what they want. Splendid. Just splendid.

On the other hand; good for Hermione. She's now obviously ruling the WW. And she got to be the absolute power without without any silly DE business.
*snort* If Voldy really could have used a Time Turner to have kids; I don't think he would have picked Astoria. xD

Re: The Epitome of Bad Fanfic

[madderbrad.livejournal.com]

While I'm here I'll just say again 'thanks' for that dailybeast link, I've relayed it a couple of times. :-)

RE: Re: The Epitome of Bad Fanfic

[vermouth1991.livejournal.com]

OK I'll bite: so who's her mother?

Re: The Epitome of Bad Fanfic

[borg-princess.livejournal.com]

Delphi's the hellspawn of Bellatrix and Voldemort. Yep. Sounds legit!

Re: The Epitome of Bad Fanfic

[borg-princess.livejournal.com]

Apparently in OotP, when Bellatrix escapes from Azkaban, there's this line from Harry sayig, "Voldemort is the happiest he's been in 14 years" and someone commented on another site, "YEAH, 'CAUSE HE'S GETTING LAID!"

RE: Re: The Epitome of Bad Fanfic

[vermouth1991.livejournal.com]

It was at the end of chapter 24, where Harry burst into laughter because Voldemort was also, and someone else basically bitchslapped him back to reality.

[Ron] looked doubtfully at Harry as he helped him towards his bed. Harry nodded out any conviction and slumped back on his pillows, aching all over from having fallen to the floor so often thst evening, his scar still prickling painfully. He could not help feeling that his first foray into Occlumency had weakened his mind's reseisance rather than strengthening it, and he wondered wit a feeling of great trepidation, what had possibly happened to make Voldemort the happiest he'd been in fourteen years."

Re: The Epitome of Bad Fanfic

[borg-princess.livejournal.com]

lol, if Harry only knew...imagine if he'd gotten THAT vision in hi-def! D:

Re: The Epitome of Bad Fanfic

[hwyla.livejournal.com]

Maybe if he had, he would have actually tried to learn occlumency?

[penguinsuzie.livejournal.com]

Mother of Zeus! This is like watching a train wreck.

[madderbrad.livejournal.com]

But we'll only feel the pain when we see the our-blessed-Jo-can-do-no-wrong disciples laud the play and hail it as the best thing evah. :-(

[madderbrad.livejournal.com]

Got to be a joke. Got to. Even Rowling can't write something like this ... well ...

*looks at DH*

Okay, she can, but she had help this time.

Ron and Hermione fend off the Dementors. The two of them are eventually overtaken and as they are on the ground receiving the kiss their hands inch towards each other, both dying right before they meet..

Well, no R/Hr, so some silver lining there. :-)

so Al, Scorp, and Delphi go to the Third Task -

What, so there's *multiple* trips back and forwards? *gak*

Delphi then somehow escapes with the two of them and traps them in time, taking them into the past -

And even more?

THIS HAS TO BE A JOKE.

- he, Ginny, Hermione, Draco, and Ron all come to the rescue

AND MORE.

They fight, Harry almost dies a couple of times -

Naturally. Against a girl half his age. Because there's no deus ex machina stick to rescue him this time.

- and I started to cry.

The next scene is absolutely heart-breaking ... and I cried so hard. ... and it is so fucking sad. ... SO FUCKING SAD.

This frustrates me. Ten to one so many attendees will be like our reporter and forgive Rowling for the 95% rubbish of the play just because she hit a few high notes piggybacked on the nostalgia of her twenty-year-old books and their fond memories of accepting same when they were kids and didn't know any better. :-(

[arcanetrivia]

Even Rowling can't write something like this ... well ...

She didn't actually, though, I thought? I mean presumably she approved the script, and maybe she wrote the story itself in outine or narrative, but I thought it was actually written by someone else?

[borg-princess.livejournal.com]

The play was written by someone else, but based on a new story by JKR. And even then, according to Pottermore, the play was adapted in collaboration with JKR, soooo. Yep. It's all on her.

[madderbrad.livejournal.com]

It's more than mere 'approval' this time. The web site for the play and Wikipedia state:

written by Jack Thorne and based on a story by author J. K. Rowling, Thorne and director John Tiffany.

So the guilt of writing this abomination of a story is shared between the three. Thorne then adapted the story to the stage.