PoA Chapter Five

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Harry’s woken the next morning by Tom and a cup of tea. Harry really does get to live the life of a Victorian gentleman, doesn’t he? What innkeeper in the Muggle world wakes customers with a cup of tea?

Percy’s still with Penelope here. Are we supposed to assume they got married and had boring babies in the epilogue?

Mrs. Weasley is telling Hermione and Ginny about a love potion she made when she was younger and they’re all very giggly. Because there’s never anything for girls to talk about with each other ever besides guys.

And by “talking about guys” I of course mean plotting and scheming for how to catch them, because that’s how true love works. Girls just have to wait around for a chance to conk a clueless male of the species on the head and drag him off to her cave by his hair. Where he’ll be in charge after that.

This year we’ll all be chauffeured to school by a guy in green velvet. Yup, you won’t find service like this in the Muggle world.

To Ron’s disgust, Percy gets into the car with the Trio. Wow, the Percy hate in this chapter is strong. As far as I can tell the only reason for it is to set up Percy being a terrible bad guy for two books, but all he’s done so far is be stiff. Oh, and accuse Ron of intentionally sabotaging his stuff. Can’t imagine where he’d get the idea that his brothers would ever sabotage his stuff, can you?

The ride is uneventful, but Harry makes sure to notice that the old-fashioned Ministry cars are better than Uncle Vernon’s company car. Muggles suck so bad.

The Wizard car is like the Firebolt to Vernon’s Nimbus 2001.

The chauffeurs touch their hats in salute to Mr. Weasley before leaving. Somebody could do a really interesting paper on the Weasleys, class and money.

Ginny catches Harry’s eye and they both laugh at Percy’s showing off for his girlfriend. It seems like Ginny’s just showing her personality to be basically good natured and finding amusement in her funny family. Looking back perhaps this is a sign of Ginny’s awesome true personality that entirely consists of mocking others. SOULMATES!

Let’s take a moment to reflect on our two central canon couples. One demonstrates true love by the way they act like they can’t stand each other, the other bonds over how superior they are to everyone else. That’s how we know which ones are the sidekicks. The one couple insults each other; the other insults everyone else.

Mrs. Weasley kisses everyone and gives Harry and extra long hug. Which makes Harry embarrassed but pleased. I’m sure I found that sweet for Harry the first time I read this.

Harry says he’s not scared of Sirius since he couldn’t be any worse than Voldemort. Actually Harry, almost anyone would be worse than Voldemort as Voldemort’s an idiot.

Heh. Wouldn’t it be great to see Harry wind up in the Muggle world in trouble? Like, facing some low-level thug from The Sopranos or The Wire or the bad guy from any episode of White Collar or Leverage or even Law & Order. He’d be all, “Well, I know I can handle myself. They can’t be worse than Voldemort.” And then he’d be robbed, framed for murder or dead.

Before putting Harry on the train Arthur is sure to plant the idea in his head that maybe he ought to be looking for Sirius. He is a Gryffindor, after all.

That Arthur knows Harry has a reason to want Sirius dead just makes me wonder once again why that story wouldn’t be all over the papers.

It’s another example of how somehow a society that’s exceptionally small and intimate manages to be exceptionally unacquainted.

Ginny again shows a personality in telling Ron, “Oh, that’s nice!” at being told to go away. The personality I liked, I mean. Not the one from later books.

Neither Harry nor Hermione are apologetic about Ron’s very rude dismissal of his sister. Maybe if you all had treated the first Ginny nicer we wouldn’t have been subjected to the improved version!

The kids find Lupin sleeping in the compartment, looking worn and grey. Let’s not wake him up right away. Let us enjoy him while he’s still a cool character!

Okay, so why does the guy have a battered case that has his name on it, calling himself a professor, exactly? It seems obvious JKR’s setting him up to be the excellent teacher stereotype, only it doesn’t actually seem like Lupin’s a teacher except for this year.

Azkaban is also a much cooler place in this chapter than it ever is again.

Hermione reminds us the Muggles are out looking for Black too. They’d probably catch him a lot more quickly than Wizards with the right information.

Ron apologizes for his cheap Sneakoscope, which went wild as he was tying it to Errol’s leg. Because Scabbers was there. Get it? Only they chalk it up to Ron using Errol when he wasn’t supposed to. So basically the Sneakoscope is another one of those objects that seems useful but is actually completely useless, like the Weasley’s clock.

Hogsmeade is the only entirely non-Muggle settlement in Britain. Because Muggles are awesome!

And to prove my point, the best thing in Hogsmeade is a candy shop. Look, I love candy as much as the next person, but there’s plenty of them all over the Muggle world. Maybe they don’t carry candy that physically injures you, but I consider that a plus.

Also, Ron, you’re 13.

The Shrieking Shack is the most “severely” haunted building in Britain. I like that it’s not really that it’s the best haunting, it’s just the most severe since yelling comes from it.

Harry and Draco have been enemies since they met on the train to Hogwarts. Um, they met before that. But I guess Draco didn’t know they were enemies until the train.

Crabbe and Goyle seem to exist to do Draco’s bidding. Unlike, say, Hermione and Ron who exist to do Harry’s thinking and laundry and make Harry look good by comparison, respectively. They don’t have to do Harry’s bidding, they just get yelled at and shamed if they don’t.

Not quite sure what the point of Draco’s entrance was there, except to introduce him to the story, I guess. The scene just made everyone look a bit silly, really.

The train stops to let on Dementors, and the rest of the cast conveniently stumbles into the car. Now we’ve re-met everyone, can we get on with the story, please?

Harry faints at the sight of the Dementor, which he’ll pretend is embarrassing but really just shows he’s suffered more than anyone because his parents died heroically protecting him. Even if he has no way of remembering that whatsoever. Harry’s like Batman, in a way.

Ginny was shaking like mad because she, too, has met Voldemort. SOULMATES!

They have no chance to speak to Hagrid. So we dodge that bullet, at least.

McGonagall calls Hermione and Harry as soon as they get in. Harry’s not happy, as McGonagall always makes him feel like he’s done something wrong. Unless he’s just thrown a torture curse, in which case she makes him feel gallant!

Apparently Lupin’s carrying around chocolate for Dementors is early proof of what a great teacher he is.

Hermione leaves her meeting with McGonagall looking quite happy. Like, “given power over time itself” happy.

Luckily the meeting means they miss the Sorting. I sort of love the way JKR sets up all these things and then has to spend the rest of the series trying to find ways around having to write them again and again.

Okay, I spoke too soon about re-meeting everyone. One more person to meet. Dumbledore. Are we all here? Can we get on with it now?

Dumbledore is often described as the greatest wizard of the age, but that’s not why Harry respects him. He respects him because you can’t help but trust him. Yes, you just can’t help but trust him even when he’s dead and even though his plans are completely stupid and nonsensical and by all rights should have gotten you all killed.

Seriously, Harry, that’s not a good reason to respect someone. That just means they’re good at manipulating people.

The candlelight shimmers on Dumbledore’s beard. Ew. That makes it sound like his beard’s greasy or sticky or something. Beards should not shimmer ever.

Damn. One more person. Snape. Snape’s here too, looking less shabby than Lupin. Now we’re all here.

Next to him we meet our new teacher, Hagrid. And he’s already crying and wiping his eyes on the table. I hate this guy.

The Trio knows how much being made a teacher would mean to Hagrid, what with him not really doing anything to qualify for such a job besides being a friend of Dumbledore’s and never indicating any talent or desire for the job. Yup, this appointment is a real triumph for…trusting Dumbledore.

Harry feels he’s home at last, in the dorm. And it only took him 60 pages to get there. Compared to the books that are to follow, that’s pretty speedy.

I have to say after these chapters, nobody in this book seems 13.

Things happening twice:
Harry and Draco becoming enemies on the train to Hogwarts—just like James and Snape.
First use of a Patronus so we see it before Harry uses it. Though we don’t actually ever see what Lupin’s Patronus is.
I believe one of the first mentions of love potions.
Grrr! Percy is already so awful he's clearly evil! Clearly! Evil!
Harry and Ginny bonding over other peoples’ flaws: SOULMATES!
Remember how Vernon got a company car earlier? Now Arthur’s got a better one!
Again the Sneakoscope goes off, making for the third time we’ve heard of it.


It’s a gun. No it isn’t! It’s Chekov! No it isn’t!

Percy totally seems like a bad guy, doesn’t he? Look at how all the good people dislike him.
Status: Fired, I guess. Percy’s got to be some sort of lesson in not being completely loyal to Harry or something. Or maybe he was just supposed to be some genuine family drama, even if he really wasn’t.

What’s that thing that came out of Lupin’s wand?
Status: Fired. That’d be the main spell we’ll be learning in this book.




Designated Hero
Dumbledore’s set up as this awesome headmaster here, but he’s really already just showing favoritism.

Misdirected Answering
Funny how when Harry tells his friends that Arthur told him not to go looking for Black none of them, including Thinking-Brain-Dog Hermione, wondered what Black obviously has or had done to make Harry go looking for him.

Don’t worry, if Lupin wakes up and he’s hungry he can go to the front of the train to get food from the trolley lady. Phew! Glad that’s cleared up, it was really distracting.

Nut o’ Fun
What’s with that briefcase, Lupin? It’s not like you’ve been teaching long enough to have a battered case. In fact, why do you have any case at all?

Jabootu Score: 4

Comments

[baeraad.livejournal.com]

Heh. Wouldn’t it be great to see Harry wind up in the Muggle world in trouble? Like, facing some low-level thug from The Sopranos or The Wire or the bad guy from any episode of White Collar or Leverage or even Law & Order. He’d be all, “Well, I know I can handle myself. They can’t be worse than Voldemort.” And then he’d be robbed, framed for murder or dead.

Since I'm watching my way through Dexter at the moment, I'd kind of like to see Dexter Morgan take on Voldemort. By my best estimate, Voldemort would be drugged to the gills and tied to a slab before he knew what was what. And then Dexter would berate him for being an embarrassment to self-respecting psycho killers everywhere. "I could never kill a child. But if I did, I'd make sure to succeed at it. I don't know what's the most deplorable, your lack of standards or your lack of basic competence."

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

LOL! Dexter vs. Voldemort. Tom literally wouldn't know what hit him!

[elanor-x.livejournal.com]

What innkeeper in the Muggle world wakes customers with a cup of tea?

Well, if a simple Muggle innkeeper hosted a queen, he would have much more than a cup of tea prepared before her wake too. ;)

Mrs. Weasley is telling Hermione and Ginny about a love potion she made when she was younger and they’re all very giggly.

Interesting what are Arthur's true views on the matter, since I suppose the potion was intended (given?) for him. Guess it's Chekov's gun for Merope's story in HBP.

Ginny again shows a personality in telling Ron, “Oh, that’s nice!” at being told to go away. The personality I liked, I mean. Not the one from later books.

Interesting. I have re-read the chapter and got the opposite impression, perceiving her behavior here as a hint to "the firecracker within", as somebody nicely expressed in the previous discussion.
"Oh, that's nice," said Ginny huffily, and she stalked off.
Was unsure since English is a foreign tongue to me, but Cambridge Dictionary defines "huffy" as "angry and offended" and "stalk" as "to walk in an angry or proud way", so it was hard for me to see the difference you talk about. Yes, in HBP she probably would have been more aggressive to Ron, but much more deferential to Harry. Here she's still young and holds her older brother in higher esteem than he'll get from her in the future, while in HBP all deference will be reserved for Harry alone (and likely much more than she ever had for her brothers).

Okay, so why does the guy have a battered case that has his name on it, calling himself a professor, exactly? ... the excellent teacher stereotype, only it doesn’t actually seem like Lupin’s a teacher except for this year.

Just had a vision of Lupin as a private tutor in some old novel. Wait, from what we know of WW, he could be one for a while in an old, rich, pureblood family, probably preparing the child for school to give him an edge. After all, at Hogwarts children are expected to know how to read, write and do the math on our elementary school's level and teaching that takes many hours and nerves. Why wouldn't people like Narcissa and Mrs. Black pay for somebody else to do it? If I needed a tutor for my kids, Lupin would be the best choice out of all HP characters.

Has somebody read a good fic about Lupin's life from V's first disappearance to PoA? Such possibilities... he could be hired by a family like Malfoys and then probably dismissed in horror after his condition's revelation. Or have a temporary job, not less exciting than Bill or Charlie Weasley's. Or, if a fic writer prefers grim realism and is inspired by the current economical crisis, barely make ends meet. So easy to write about it in every genre and not contradict canon, why haven't I seen any such fics?

Hermione reminds us the Muggles are out looking for Black too. They’d probably catch him a lot more quickly than Wizards with the right information.

It seems so OOC for Hermione to expect Muggles to be of any help:

"But they'll catch him, on't they?" said Hermione earnestly. "I mean, they've got all the Muggles looking out for him too..."

Of course, she's young here yet and even before her first lesson of Muggle studies.

And to prove my point, the best thing in Hogsmeade is a candy shop. ...Also, Ron, you’re 13.

Or JKR wanted to mention the candy shop only since a secret passage out of the castle leads to it, which Harry'll use later, or she forgot how it's like to be 13 and thought closer to 5-year-old. A boy of Ron's age would talk about racing brooms' shop or scary spider/skull shop, similar to one Harry and Draco visited in CoS.

[the-bitter-word.livejournal.com]

Maybe Lupin was like Professor Marvel in the Wizard of Oz, or Professor Emelius Brown in Bedknobs and Broomsticks, i.e., an itinerant who opened his battered briefcase on the street and performed amazing magic tricks, but was considered a crank by most, hid from the authorities, and barely made a living.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Heh. I did think that maybe if you had a movie star staying in your inn you'd do the room service personally.

Was unsure since English is a foreign tongue to me, but Cambridge Dictionary defines "huffy" as "angry and offended" and "stalk" as "to walk in an angry or proud way", so it was hard for me to see the difference you talk about. Yes

Yup, that's what huffy means. But given that Ron's just rudely dismissed her she has good reason to be huffy. The first version of Ginny wasn't a doormat--she tells Ron and Harry to shut up in GoF. She just didn't pound people into the ground with it. I mean, imagine Ron speaking this way to Ginny in HBP. At the least she wouldn't have let Ron go without a withering remark that left him feeling and looking like a fool. But more likely it'd be worse. Nobody tells Ginny to piss off and go away and has her go away in HBP.

Oh yeah, the candy shop's totally mentioned because it'll be used later. But it still really does seem to be the big attraction in Hogsmeade.

Lupin fic

[condwiramurs.livejournal.com]

If you want a good pre-POA Lupin fic, I highly recommend "Sweet Home" by samvimes/copperbadge.

http://sam-storyteller.livejournal.com/22306.html

It's 16 chapters, so it's a nice long fic - and it explains the briefcase too, IIRC. :)

[mmmarcusz.livejournal.com]

A boy of Ron's age would talk about racing brooms' shop or scary spider/skull shop, similar to one Harry and Draco visited in CoS.

Or - let's face it - a magic adult store - porn mags with moving photos, bertie bott's every-flavour condoms, etc.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

Are we supposed to assume they got married and had boring babies in the epilogue?

As if JKR hasn't answered that! She might have never really gotten around to how the wizarding world worked or what happened to those unimportant other countries and species outside British wizards, or how Harry turned the imperfect WW into a shiny happy land of gumdrops; but let it never be said she hasn't figured out exactly who married who! Which everyone did. Being single or gay is only for evil people, and obviously Harry got rid of all the evil when he became an Auror.
Iirc, he married someone else. Really, he and Penelope were always doomed - an intra-house romance, and not even with a worshipful Hufflepuff!

Ginny was shaking like mad because she, too, has met Voldemort. SOULMATES!

While Draco's similiarly OTT reaction is just a sign he's a coward! (Or JKR's pushing for OT3!)

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Wow, Percy wasn't with Penelope? I'm surprised! But I guess I shouldn't be. Percy was just evil enough to not find his true love before leaving school.

But you know you don't have to be gay or evil to not be married! You can also just be distracted by some other interest like dragons or rebelling. We have to have some excuses for the single Gryffindors.

Heh. Yup, Draco's just a big coward. It's not like he's got anything to be nobly scared of, after all.

[oryx_leucoryx]

Mrs. Weasley is telling Hermione and Ginny about a love potion she made when she was younger and they’re all very giggly. Because there’s never anything for girls to talk about with each other ever besides guys.

My inquiring mind wants to know: What became of this love potion? Did she make it for Arthur because he didn't realize how much they were 'made for each other'? Did it have anything to do with that moonlight walk she mentions to Bill in GOF, or to the reason she and Arthur eloped? Or did she make it for a friend who needed to entrap a guy? Or perhaps for a guy friend who wasn't convincing enough on his own? Did Molly engage in date-rape or was she merely an accomplice?

Let’s take a moment to reflect on our two central canon couples. One demonstrates true love by the way they act like they can’t stand each other, the other bonds over how superior they are to everyone else. That’s how we know which ones are the sidekicks. The one couple insults each other; the other insults everyone else.


Exactly.

That Arthur knows Harry has a reason to want Sirius dead just makes me wonder once again why that story wouldn’t be all over the papers.


I wonder what Arthur's Ministry job around 1981 was. Perhaps he had direct inside information from Magical Catastrophes? Maybe he was a low-level Obliviator then or something? Or perhaps Dumbledore or Fudge told Molly and Arthur privately because they were accompanying Harry. Perhaps Fudge or Albus arranged for the Weasleys to stay that night at the Leaky Cauldron to make sure Harry is watched all the way to the train. It seems the people who know the full accusations against Sirius are: Fudge, Arthur, Molly, Albus, Minerva, Hagrid, Filius, Remus, Severus and Lucius. The rest of the public seem to know the version Rosmerta knows, or even less - that Sirius was a friend of James who turned out to be a powerful DE, who killed a bunch of people after Voldemort's defeat, but they did not know he is thought to have personally betrayed the Potters. It isn't clear to whom Albus gave his testimony about Sirius being the Secret Keeper. Since Sirius wasn't tried it is possible the evidence was given privately to Crouch.

Okay, so why does the guy have a battered case that has his name on it, calling himself a professor, exactly? It seems obvious JKR’s setting him up to be the excellent teacher stereotype, only it doesn’t actually seem like Lupin’s a teacher except for this year.


Hwyla's theory is that for the last 12 (or 15) years Remus made a living giving private lessons, either to kids whose parents objected to sending them to Hogwarts or adults who needed remedial classes to improve their job prospects. Heck, he may have been tutoring other kids that Fenrir turned after him who couldn't attend Hogwarts because Dumbledore realized his werewolf-containment arrangement wasn't secure enough. Another theory is that the case was a joke gift from James or Sirius because Remus always wanted to be a teacher.

The question is what was Remus doing on the train? Was he taking the scenic route to Hogwarts because it was just after the full moon and Apparating to Hogsmeade was too draining for him or was he requested to take the train in order to watch out on Harry, or in case he was needed to stop Sirius from getting on the train or something?

How many pairs of Vernon's socks does Harry own? He gives a pair to Dobby in GOF but he still has a pair in which he keeps the Felix in HBP. Well, I own several pairs of socks that used to belong to my husband. Shrug.

Not quite sure what the point of Draco’s entrance was there, except to introduce him to the story, I guess. The scene just made everyone look a bit silly, really.

It ends with Ron making a violent gesture showing what he would do to Draco, but in this book it will be Harry and Hermione who will do violence to Draco.

We are given our first introduction to thestrals, but we don't know it yet.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

This comment now makes me think that it's a shame Remus was never able to set up his own school for werewolf children or just other children who didn't go to Hogwarts. Or he could tutor kids before they went to Hogwarts. It's weird the way there's so many teachers with huge problems at Hogwarts that keep their job because Dumbledore just doesn't care what anyone thinks, but Lpin's outta there. Well, not really weird--I think it proves that Dumbledore's very much about punishing and rewarding people for their loyalty to him. Sirius and Remus both pay for those jaunts in Hogsmeade at school.

[eir-de-scania.livejournal.com]

My inquiring mind wants to know: What became of this love potion?

*** Perhaps the wrong person got it and hilariousity ensued? It's just a thing that would be considered side-splitting funny in the wizarding world.

(And large parts of the Muggle one)

More

[oryx_leucoryx]

Dumbledore warns the kids that dementors can't be fooled by tricks or disguises, or even invisibility cloaks. So neither of the kids' previous ways of sneaking about should work. He doesn't seem to know Animagi can escape them (of course he doesn't expect any Animagi but Minerva to be around). And in GOF Barty's story proves that they actually can be fooled by disguise.

Severus looks at Remus in loathing. Which cements Remus' position as 'good guy' for Harry (on top of his performance with the dementor on the train).

The previous COMC teacher retired to enjoy more time with his remaining limbs. As 'Beedle the Bard' tells, he was no more responsible than Hagrid.

We are reminded that Neville has trouble remembering passwords because this will be significant this year.

First use of a Patronus so we see it before Harry uses it. Though we don’t actually ever see what Lupin’s Patronus is.

It looks like people who don't know about Patrunuses have trouble distinguishing their shape. Nobody remembers what the silvery thing that came out of Dumbledore's wand at the Quidditch game looked like either. Maybe that's why the form of Harry's Patronus is a valid question for his identification in OOTP.

I believe one of the first mentions of love potions.

At least the second. In COS Lockhart suggested kids ask Severus for one on Valentine's Day. Severus was not amused.

Re: More

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Oh, right yes! Good call on Neville. And the love potions!

It is weird the way sometimes the Patronuses don't have a shape anybody can see. Later on Harry recognizes their shapes pretty well. It's even important that you know what they look like because that's how you identify who it's from.

Re: More

[oryx_leucoryx]

Continuing a line of thought from the above post:

Dumbledore warns the kids that dementors can't be fooled by tricks or disguises, or even invisibility cloaks. So neither of the kids' previous ways of sneaking about should work. He doesn't seem to know Animagi can escape them (of course he doesn't expect any Animagi but Minerva to be around). And in GOF Barty's story proves that they actually can be fooled by disguise.

While dementors can be fooled by at least 2 forms of disguise: Animagus transformation and Polyjuice (if the user is in similar mental condition as the one s/he is impersonating), we are introduced in this book to something that really cannot be fooled by any kind of disguise or invisibility cloak - the Marauders' Map. The only things that can fool it are people who have identical names and making places Unplottable. This is yet another thing that raises the question whether the Map is a Dark artifact (the answer depends on one's definition of Dark).

Re: More

[sunnyskywalker]

Maybe Snape, as Potions master, has had to assist Pomfrey at one too many de-love-potionings. Or had to brew up too many morning-after potions, for that matter. Possibly he knows the story of Tom's conception too.

[eir-de-scania.livejournal.com]

The chauffeurs touch their hats in salute to Mr. Weasley before leaving. Somebody could do a really interesting paper on the Weasleys, class and money.
*** The wizworld is old-fashioned. I bet they bow to the MoM.


Harry says he’s not scared of Sirius since he couldn’t be any worse than Voldemort. Actually Harry, almost anyone would be worse than Voldemort as Voldemort’s an idiot.
*** We didn't know that yet


Heh. Wouldn’t it be great to see Harry wind up in the Muggle world in trouble? Like, facing some low-level thug from The Sopranos or The Wire or...
***...some British TV show?

Harry would draw his wand and hex the thug, the MoM would intervene but Harry would be acquitted as they were only Muggles.


That Arthur knows Harry has a reason to want Sirius dead just makes me wonder once again why that story wouldn’t be all over the papers.
***Because that would ruin The Plot.


Ginny again shows a personality in telling Ron, “Oh, that’s nice!” at being told to go away. The personality I liked, I mean. Not the one from later books.
*** The same goes for all characters.

McGonagall calls Hermione and Harry as soon as they get in. Harry’s not happy, as McGonagall always makes him feel like he’s done something wrong. Unless he’s just thrown a torture curse, in which case she makes him feel gallant!
*** See what I mean?


Dumbledore is often described as the greatest wizard of the age, but that’s not why Harry respects him. He respects him because you can’t help but trust him.
*** Wich is understandable for a thirteen-year-old. Not for the rest of the wizarding world, except Aberforth and Sirius.


Nut o’ Fun
What’s with that briefcase, Lupin? It’s not like you’ve been teaching long enough to have a battered case. In fact, why do you have any case at all?
*** Birthday present from JKR?

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

It's true that that line of Harry's about Voldemort works really well since not only has he not yet returned to create elaborate plans that don't work, but the slivers of him that Harry's encountered were genuinely scary.

Harry would draw his wand and hex the thug, the MoM would intervene but Harry would be acquitted as they were only Muggles.

I don't know...even with the wand I suspect he'd be going down. He might last a little longer, though.

Wich is understandable for a thirteen-year-old. Not for the rest of the wizarding world, except Aberforth and Sirius.

Definitely--that line really stuck out because I realized that wasn't a set up for something that was going to change. Even when Harry doubts him he's more just betrayed that he's not the guy he wants him to be.

[tdotm.livejournal.com]

---“Harry’s woken the next morning by Tom and a cup of tea. Harry really does get to live the life of a Victorian gentleman, doesn’t he? What innkeeper in the Muggle world wakes customers with a cup of tea?”

Actually, I’ve stayed at the odd small establishment that has done just that – and I’ve NEVER become the saviour of my world, simply by standing still whilst a powerful megalomaniac learnt about the ancient magic of love the hard way ....

---“Harry says he’s not scared of Sirius since he couldn’t be any worse than Voldemort. Actually Harry, almost anyone would be worse than Voldemort as Voldemort’s an idiot.”

Ah – the good old days of PoA, when the threat of the return of Voldemort was far more frightening than the reality turned out to be, especially in DH. JKR should have taken the advice Walter Bagehot offered the British Royal Family. ”We must not let daylight in upon the magic” in other words, maintain that air of mystery and the unknown. Sadly, rather than keep him hidden in the shadows and only wheeling him out for brief confrontations, she thoroughly exposed him. Even worse, via Harry’s Voldiecam we frequently saw exactly what he was thinking – and it wasn’t good. The lack of mystery meant no fear or apprehension – especially as he turned out to be a right useless w*nker.

---“Neither Harry nor Hermione are apologetic about Ron’s very rude dismissal of his sister. Maybe if you all had treated the first Ginny nicer we wouldn’t have been subjected to the improved version!”

I think she sounded a little brattish, understandable in the only girl *and* the youngest, but maybe a prelude to the horrors to come. Also, if Ginny had been drained slowly and painfully of life by Tom Riddle in CoS, *before* she could be saved, that would also have ensured we didn’t get that hideous jock/cheerleader combined of HBP...

---“Ginny was shaking like mad because she, too, has met Voldemort. SOULMATES!”

If JKR had played on this more, it’d have been totally convincing. After Christmas in OotP, I don’t remember it mattering again. Instead, Luna was convincingly given the understanding outsider role that would surely be catnip to someone like Harry.

---“Seriously, Harry, that’s not a good reason to respect someone. That just means they’re good at manipulating people.”

This could have been dealt with so well. The series follows a character from childhood to young adulthood. A child *would* see a manipulative old git as someone strong and trustworthy, even as adult outsiders (us!) knew that the reason he always knew what was going on, was because he was the one manipulating events around him. It would have been interesting to see a gradual understanding on Harry’s part due to HIM changing – Dumbledore never does. Harry the man would surely see everything differently than Harry the child and child readers would gradually realise the same thing along with him. Sadly Harry’s doubt was abrupt and limited to the Tent. He didn’t even resolve his feelings, he just seemed to forget them. Albus Severus my arse.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Harry totally forgot his feelings. It was the weirdest thing. Especially with Snape. The guy was the prime antagonist throughout the series, the one guy who always surprised him and challenged whatever he was thinking at the time. We knew he had a past that encompassed the worst in Harry's background. HBP leaves Harry with every reason to want to kill him. JKR even says it's "personal" now (okay, that was a bit silly since it was always personal).

And then suddenly in DH Snape's like just some random guy. If you only read that one book you'd never know Harry had strong feelings about him. He just finds out that oh, Snape was on our side because he had a thing about my mother. There's no moment where this even has to sink in. He just starts announcing Snape as one of his players as part of the big thing. Then years later he's named his kid after him, completely disregarding the fact that Snape actually did hate his guts and show it every day he knew Harry, and Harry hated him back. I get ultimately forgiving the guy and respecting what he did, but you have to fanwank what exactly the gesture was supposed to mean in light of their actual relationship.

[madderbrad.livejournal.com]

Percy’s still with Penelope here. Are we supposed to assume they got married and had boring babies in the epilogue?

What what WHAT?!?

Are you saying that they DIDN'T?

:-)

Girls just have to wait around for a chance to conk a clueless male of the species on the head and drag him off to her cave by his hair.

Excuse me, there was nothing as active as 'conking' involved in the HP series. No, the girls are just supposed to wait patiently for their SOUL MATE to grow up and notice them.

Ginny occupied herself 'waiting around' by using dating other boys while waiting for Harry to "take a bit more notice" (her words/hope). Hermione used McGlaggin (I've spelt his name wrong, haven't I?) to prod Ron into action, so she'd get a big wet kiss from him 1.5 books later.

But no direct action on the potential SOUL MATES themselves. No, the boys have total freedom, the girls are locked into their holding patterns.

Sigh. Every time I put down a HP book I'm just SO HAPPY that I'm a male ...

:-)

Ginny catches Harry’s eye and they both laugh at Percy’s showing off for his girlfriend. ... Looking back perhaps this is a sign of Ginny’s awesome true personality that entirely consists of mocking others. SOULMATES!

Seriously, that's about the sum of it for the H/G fans; all they have in the first 4-5 books is an occasional sentence like this, Harry interacting slightly with a third-level background supporting character, but NO! GINNY ISN'T A THIRD-LEVEL BACKGROUND SUPPORTING CHARACTER AT ALL!! Wasn't it OBVIOUS!?!?!?!?!!!!?

Let’s take a moment to reflect on our two central canon couples.

I've always liked how they're really quite opposite ... and how the adherents to the official OBHWF couplings have to take reverse stands to support both. Harry and Ginny are SOUL MATES because they're EQUALS (Jo said so) and they have COMMON INTERESTS ... the same sense of (mean) humour, they both like quidditch, uhm, they're Gryffindors, uhm, yeah, have I mentioned quidditch? But H/G rules because Harry and Ginny are compatible.

But then the canon flunkies will turn right around and argue how R/Hr is so wonderful because it's truly a case of 'opposites attract'. And certainly one can't argue that Ron and Hermione are diametrically opposite in practically every way you can think of.

It's always struck me as a bit hypocritical.

Harry says he’s not scared of Sirius since he couldn’t be any worse than Voldemort.

Wow, that's almost as bad as his posturing in DH:

"Ron's dad said they've put up jinxes against him – and even if they haven't worked," he pressed on as Hermione began to argue "so what? I swear, I'd like nothing better than to meet Snape!"

HA HA HA HA HA!!!

Harry couldn't even ENGAGE with Snape in a one-on-one duel just a month or two prior ... and then he was spouting bravado like that?

It's no wonder that Hermione could not argue, though she looked as if she would have liked to - she saw the sheer stupidity in Harry's posturing, but her author wouldn't let her speak.

Anyway, it's interesting to find another example of Harry's childish ego here. I guess he doesn't grow out of it. :-(

Ginny was shaking like mad because she, too, has met Voldemort. SOULMATES!

Well, it could have been, you know. Rowling could have really played up on their both having that connection.

But aside from that one 'Lucky you' - 'uhm, who are you again, Jenny, Ron's sister?' scene, nada. A lot of wasted potential there.

The Trio knows how much being made a teacher would mean to Hagrid, what with him not really doing anything to qualify for such a job besides being a friend of Dumbledore’s and never indicating any talent or desire for the job. Yup, this appointment is a real triumph for…trusting Dumbledore.

That's about it, isn't it? Certainly we all know - even the characters - that Hagrid's a bad teacher.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Are you saying that they DIDN'T?

Apparently not!

Excuse me, there was nothing as active as 'conking' involved in the HP series. No, the girls are just supposed to wait patiently for their SOUL MATE to grow up and notice them.

I think you're overlooking the difficulty of looking like you're waiting around while you're actually stewing and trying to get somebody's attention there!

I remember somebody recently happened to say that the reason H/Hr couldn't be together was because they got along to well and I did think that actually, H/Hr have more conflict than Harry and Ginny. The times they seem to be disagreeing are all times where imo the idea is that Ginny's giving the kick in the ass he needs. (Okay, I'm thinking of exactly one time, the famous "Lucky you" moment.) Most couples in HP don't argue the way Ron and Hermione do.

[octopuspatronus.livejournal.com]

Ginny was shaking like mad because she, too, has met Voldemort. SOULMATES!

This, as well as the revelation that Draco was also freaked out by the Dementors, reminds me that Draco has met Voldemort at this point, too. SOULMATES! <3

Ah, yes, that long, romantic stroll through the Forbidden Forest Harry and Draco shared in their first year, enjoying a comfortable silence in one another's company... unfortunately brought to an end with the sudden, horrific discovery of Quirrelmort feasting on the blood of a unicorn. Harry oh-so-bravely froze in terror, which was clearly a noble attempt to sacrifice himself so that Draco could have a chance to escape. It was all very sweet. It brings a fond tear to my eye even now.

Fun-fact, Draco ran off to find Hagrid and the others in order to save Harry. Originally there was a touching reunion scene after the discussion with the centaurs, but TPTB ruled it far too gay and thus had it cut-- which explains the strange disappearance of Draco from the scene. In fact, all further incidences where Draco strangely disappears from the book (see= Parseltongue reveal in the duelling club, the discovery of the petrified cat, others) mark another scene between Harry and Draco that was cut for excessive gayness. The more you know...

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Hee! I love that the books just got more and more H/D as they went on. With Ginny becoming more like him to get Harry to notice her--not to mention little parallels like this. I sort of want somebody to come up with some grand unified theory about how the whole series is an allegorical tale of Harry denying his sexuality with Dumbledore as a guide.

[mary-j-59.livejournal.com]

Hagrid's wiping his eyes on the table? Really? I hope you mean tablecloth!

Seriously, this is an excellent sporking. I laughed just about all the way through, and wanted to applaud when I read this The chauffeurs touch their hats in salute to Mr. Weasley before leaving. Somebody could do a really interesting paper on the Weasleys, class and money. and this: Hermione reminds us the Muggles are out looking for Black too. They’d probably catch him a lot more quickly than Wizards with the right information. Because they are both so true! All the people who insist that the Weasleys are poor, working-class stiffs don't seem to notice that the kids really don't lack anything essential. Except for poor Ron, and there's something weird about the way his mother ignores and neglects him, IMHO. That actually always bothered me. Just my two cents.

[horridporrid.livejournal.com]

Except for poor Ron, and there's something weird about the way his mother ignores and neglects him, IMHO. That actually always bothered me.

Oh! *jumping in because this was something I spent a lot of time thinking about back in the day*

My theory was that Molly and Arthur really were having serious marital problems. For a long time. (I figured completely divergent life-goals that began (or surfaced) when Arthur started his job in Muggle-relations.) Not wanting, or maybe not knowing how, to deal with those problems, Arthur basically left the family (hiding out in the shed) and Molly took her frustrations out on her family. Which is why I saw such a massive schism between the children.

It's also a reason I saw Ron and Percy as having a connection, or being on the same "side". I saw Molly as setting up Percy as a "good" version of Arthur: The guy who listens to what she says, goes after and achieves the goals she approves of, and assists in parenting the children. Ron is set up as the "bad" version of Arthur, and punished for it: Forced to make do with little because the family can't afford it (because you aren't working hard enough), constantly reminded the family is more important than him (because you need to think of the family needs for a change).

I never got the sense Molly was doing this all consciously, I should add. But it was behavior I pretty much saw all the way through HBP. (Not in DH. But... all character behavior ceased being consistent in DH, I think.)

[horridporrid.livejournal.com]

Okay, so why does the guy have a battered case that has his name on it, calling himself a professor, exactly?

I think something JKR is genuinely brilliant at is setting up atmosphere. Adding a battered case with Lupin's title and name on it added a lovely amount of detail to the character before he even woke into the scene. I think this is part of the reason the series generated such a wealth of fanfic and fanart. What lovely little bits and throwaways to play with!

But where she flubs it is when she has to fill in the details. Either the details are directly contradictory (wait, when exactly did Lupin earn his teaching title?) or they completely let the air out of the atmosphere she's allowed to build (Azkaban). I think that's why her interviews are so boggling. Everything she has to play with and this is what she comes up with?

It actually makes me wonder if short stories aren't more her strength? Give us a set scene with all sort of hints about what came before and what will happen afterwords, and then leave it alone. (I completely discount her short story with James and Sirius and the muggle police, btw. For one, it blows my theory to smithereens. But also! *g* That was a case of taking a hinted at history and filling in flattening and contradictory details.)

Ginny was shaking like mad because she, too, has met Voldemort. SOULMATES!

Oh, how I weep for the Ginny who wasn't! I liked that girl, darn it. Pleasant and brave (I saw her lack of complaining as a sign of bravery, anyway) and kind to her family. I really did think she'd be a good help to Harry as the climax approached (*groan* pun really, really not intended -- i cannot think of another word!) and I thought she'd make a good first serious girlfriend. It actually makes me happier to think that this Ginny was killed and is moldering in the woods outside Hogwarts. (!! And Voldemort did it! And grabbed some of her hair! And has been drinking polyjuice ever since!! HARRY TOTALLY MARRIED VOLDEMORT!!! now that's a story I can get behind... *g*)

[eir-de-scania.livejournal.com]

*Everything she has to play with and this is what she comes up with?*

You know, that sums up the whole series for me.

[sunnyskywalker]

I would love to see the Law & Order version of HP. We'd see some Muggles wandering through an alley, and suddenly they'd yell and the camera would dolly in to Harry's corpse hidden behind the trash can. Then we'd hear a "pop!" and see flashes of light as they're Obliviated...

I thought maybe Lupin's father was actually Professor R. Lupin, and he just inherited the case. Maybe private tutoring is a family tradition, too.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

LOL! Then we cut to the security camera that got it on on tape without the wizards noticing. Bum bummm!

It is nice to think of it as his father's case that he used.

[sweettalkeress.livejournal.com]

"Actually Harry, almost anyone would be worse than Voldemort as Voldemort’s an idiot."

Ahahahaha!! Oh, man, I just burst out laughing when I saw that because it's such a big part of how I see Voldemort. He's so evil it's stupid: all he does is kill or torture people with little if any reason to do so because they may be getting in his way! And he literally never does ANYTHING more reasonable!

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

IKR? It reminds me of that Simpsons where Bart feels stalked by someone and then when he sees it's his nemesis Sideshow Bob who's always trying to kill him just says, with great relief, "Oh, it's you, Bob!" Because Bob never actually manages to kill him.