death to capslock

* Harry wants to say “What are you?” but thinks this might be rude, so instead says “Who are you?” It’s good to be reminded of how nice Harry was to start with, before Dumbledore’s favouritism removed all his politeness and replaced it with an entitlement complex the size of Hannover.

* Ironically, the only house-elf in canon who wants to be free is also the most servile and obsequious. At times, COS reads like a pro-slavery tract arguing that slaves cannot cope with freedom, and need a good benevolent master to take care with them. He even speaks a sort of Pidgin English like a stereotypical nineteenth-century black Southern slave.

* Dobby’s never been treated like an equal before. This is probably meant to reflect badly on the Malfoys, but TBH his constant toadying makes it rather hard to think of him as one.

* Does Dobby have to punish himself? I wouldn’t be at all surprised to find that he just hurts himself for kicks, without his owners knowing.

* So how exactly could Dobby find time to spy on Harry and intercept his post, and keep doing his household duties to stop the Malfoys from knowing?

* Gosh, Dobby’s really going over the top with the flattery, isn’t he? No wonder Harry ends up liking him so much.

* So what is this plot Dobby supposedly overheard? The diary was given to Ginny, not Harry. Is it the case the Lucius really intended to give it to Harry, and Ginny only got it by accident?

* Actually, that would make a lot more sense. Ginny Weasley being found killing Muggle-borns would be all very well, and might even discredit Arthur; but Harry Potter killing people would be even better, from the point of view of a Death Eater.

* Is there any reason why Dobby can’t tell Harry what the plot entails, other than a half-arsed attempt by JKR to prolong the mystery?

* Albus Dumbledore is the greatest headmaster Hogwarts has ever had, apparently. Well, I suppose that’s probably true if by “greatest” you mean “most powerful”, as opposed to, say, “best at running a school”.

* Harry jumps six stairs without making any noise? Wow, that kid’s athletic!

* Actually, that last point was a bit redundant. Of course Harry’s athletic, he’s the hero. After all, it’s not like clumsy and unfit people ever do anything brave or special.

* So the Dursleys and Masons are making jokes about the Japanese and the Americans. Just in case you’d forgotten that they’re racists, making anything that you do to them perfectly OK.

* So the pudding covered Harry head-to-toe when it shattered? Was there some kind of small explosive device in it?

* Must be rather hard for Mrs. Mason to go outside if she’s afraid of birds.

* I’m not sure why Mr. Mason thinks the Dursleys are playing a joke on him. If he had to explain to them his wife’s phobia, they wouldn’t have known that the sight of an owl would scare her.

* If the magical trace can’t tell who’s using magic, that would give Pureblood kids something of an unfair advantage. They’d be able to practise throughout the summer and pass any spells off as their parents’, whereas Muggleborns wouldn’t be able to practise at all.

* Harry should have realised that threatening his relatives with magic would just make it worse for him if/when it emerged that he wasn’t allowed to do it outside of school.

* I can’t imagine the Dursleys locking Harry away like that. Even if they don’t care about him, they should at least be worried what the neighbours would say.

* Harry, being relatively new to the WW, is still worried about being expelled. Little does he know that he could in fact do pretty much anything, up to and including disembowelling a fellow student in the bathrooms, and get away with light detention.